卢岩回忆录
本人的回忆录，宗教文化
张三郎九岁那年的一天，刚从爷爷邓国公的家里回来，哥哥武二郎就跑来找他，神神密密地说：“猴哥回来了！他的衣服可奇怪了。他还有天书。天书的羊皮纸是白色的，上面写满了奇奇怪怪的符号，说是龙文，谁也不认识！就只有猴哥能读。”
One day when Third Wolf Zhang was nine years old, he had just returned from his grandfather State Publican of Deng’s house when his brother Martial Second Wolf came to him and said mysteriously, "Monkey Brother is back! His clothes are very strange. He also has a heavenly book. The parchment of the sky book is white, and it is covered with strange symbols, which are said to be dragon hieroglyphics. No one can understand them! Only Monkey Brother can read them. "
1.1 武大郎和武二郎 Big Wolf and Second Wolf
张三郎不信，说：“你骗我！哪里来的猴哥！？“
武二郎回答：“咱大哥从小被寄养在别人家里了。他长得跟猴子一样。那家人说，“如果不把他送回来培养一家人之间的感情。他长大后就不会认同咱们是兄弟了。所以他的养父母就他把送回来了。结果，他现在真的不朝咱妈叫妈！”
张三郎来到了武大郎的房间，向他问好。武大郎不情愿地向他展示了他从巫毒学院带回来的课本。张三郎刚翻开书，武二郎就凑了过来。武大郎立刻把课本收了回去。不让他们俩看了。
Third Wolf Zhang didn't believe it and said, "You're lying to me! Where did this monkey brother come from!?"
Martial Second Wolf replied, "Our eldest brother was fostered in someone else's home since he was young. He looks like a monkey. That family said, "If they don't send him back to foster the relationship among our family, he won't recognize us as brothers when he grows up. So, his foster parents sent him back. As a result, he really doesn't call our mother mom now!"
Third Wolf Zhang came to Martial Big Wolf’s room and greeted him. Martial Big Wolf reluctantly showed him the textbook he brought back from the Voodoo Academy. As soon as Third Wolf Zhang opened the book, Martial Second Wolf came over. Martial Big Wolf immediately took the textbook back and stopped them from reading it.
一天，武大郎拿着书就来找张夫人（亦作妈祖）了，说：“你这个坏女人！”
张夫人生气了，“你不叫我妈，还骂我”，就打他，问：“你为什么说我是坏女人？”
武大郎一边哭，一边翻书给她看，说：“你看你儿子把我的书扯得！”
张夫人一看，确实，那书有的地方被扯去了半页，有的地方被扯去了整页，就把武二郎叫过来，也打了一顿。
One day, Martial Big Wolf came to Mrs. Zhang (aka. Mazu) with a book and said, "You bad woman!"
Mrs. Zhang got angry and said, "You don't call me mother, but you still scold me." She beat him and asked, "Why do you say I am a bad woman?"
Martial Big Wolf cried and showed her the book, saying, "Look at how your son has torn my book!"
Mrs. Zhang saw that half a page had been torn from some parts of the book, and a whole page had been torn from others. She called Martial Second Wolf over and gave him a beating as well.
有人告诉张夫人，“你不能打孩子，你越打他，你们的母子关系越生分！你应该和他交谈，解决问题。”
张夫人就问武大郎，“你认为说我不是你妈？”
武大郎说：“你那么高，我这么矮！”他还画图，用遗传学原理来解释。礼敬公和张夫人就请这方面的专家，例如相面先生，来和他辩论。结果，请来的专家辩论不过武大郎。不久后，这事就传开了，附近找不到这类专家了，因为人家来了，如果输了，就坏了名声。礼敬公夫妇就花重金，从外地请专家来。武二郎看见就因为这位猴儿哥，父母一盒子，一盒子地给人家金银，气愤得不得了。据传说，张夫人找人修补武大郎的书，也花了很多钱。这场辩论持续很长时间，终于把武大郎辩论败了。
Someone told Mrs. Zhang, "You can't hit your child. The more you hit him, the more alienated your mother-son relationship will be! You should talk to him and solve the problem."
Mrs. Zhang asked Martial Big Wolf, "Why do you say I'm not your mother?"
Martial Big Wolf said, “You're so tall and I'm so short!” He also drew diagrams and used the principles of genetics to explain. Publican Etiquette Salutation and Mrs. Zhang then invited experts in the field, such as a face reader, to debate with him. As a result, the invited expert could not win over Martial Big Wolf. Soon after, the story spread, and no such expert could be found in the neighborhood, because if people came, it would be a bad reputation if they lost. Mr. and Mrs. Zhang then spent a lot of money to bring in experts from far away places. Martial Second Wolf saw that just because of this monkey brother, parents a box, a box of gold and silver to others, angry. According to legend, Mrs. Zhang also spent a lot of money to find someone to repair Martial Big Wolf's book. The debate lasted for a long time, and finally Martial Big Wolf was defeated.
1.1-2
自从武大郎回来了，礼敬公夫妇就带着孩子们走亲戚，到处给亲戚朋友送礼。到爷爷家时，爷爷看了武大郎打猴拳，高兴的不得了，大叫：“这是我孙子！”爷爷还领着他们去到了一家姓孙的，马戏团家庭。武大郎看见那家人的身高都和他差不多，高兴了，和他们一起玩起了马戏团的杂耍。武二郎也和他们一起玩。武大郎爬到了高杆的顶端。礼敬公看了，害怕了，喊：“危险，快下来！” 张夫人说：“没事，我在这接着他。老张公把儿子拉出了院子，对他说：“孩子的母亲都不害怕，你怕什么！” 过了一会儿，张三郎也出来了。爷爷问：“和他们一起玩呗！出来干啥！？” 张三郎回答： “看着都害怕！”
据传说，从这次旅行以后，武大郎接受了礼敬公是他的父亲，但仍然不接受张夫人（即妈祖）是他的母亲。而武二郎从此称呼他为孙猴子。
Since Martial Big Wolf came back, Publican Etiquette Salutation couple have taken their children to visit relatives and give gifts to relatives and friends everywhere. When they arrived at the grandfather's house, the grandfather State Publican of Deng saw Martial Big Wolf doing monkeyish martial art and was very happy. He shouted: "This is my grandson!" The grandfather also took them to a circus family surname Sun. Martial Big Wolf was happy to see that the family members were about the same height as him, and he played circus acrobatics with them. Martial Second Wolf also played with them. Martial Big Wolf climbed to the top of the high pole. Publican Etiquette Salutation saw it and was scared, shouted: "Danger, come down quickly!" Mrs. Zhang said: "It's okay, I'll catch him here. Old Zhang pulled his son out of the embankment and said to him: "The child's mother is not afraid, what are you afraid of!" After a while, Third Zhang also came out. Grandpa asked: "Play with them! What are you doing out!?" He replied: "It's scary just to see it!"
According to legend, after this trip, Martial Big Wolf accepted that Publican Etiquette Salutation was his father, but still did not accept Mrs. Zhang (i.e. Mazu) as mother. Martial Second Wolf called him Monkey Sun from then on.
1.1-3
一天，爷爷，老张公来找张夫人说，“我有了一个计划，让武大郎和我玩一段时间。” 老张公给武大郎讲：“传说我们这种小人源于一个已经灭亡了的国家，邓国，所以现在人们都称呼我们为邓人。我们的祖宗也曾经姓邓。人们一听说姓邓，就知道我们是小矮人，所以我们的祖宗就改成了姓孙。我曾祖父忽然有了一个奇怪的想法，娶一位具有将军血统的大个子媳妇，改良遗传基因。他研究发现你妈家她们张家的闺女具有很强的将军遗传基因，于是他就改姓张了。他还建立了一个特别的基金，攒钱，娶一位张家的闺女做媳妇，培养出一位将军。他的理想被我我实现了。我的儿子娶了你妈，生出了你和武二郎。你们俩都有将军的特质。”
One day, Grandpa, Old Zhang Publican, came to Mrs. Zhang and asked, "I have a plan! Let me play with Martial Big Wolf for a while." Old Zhang Publican told Martial Big Wolf, "Legend says that we, the little people, originated from a country that has been destroyed, the Deng State, so people now call us Deng people. Our ancestors also had the surname Deng. When people heard the surname Deng, they knew we were dwarfs, so our ancestors changed their surname to Sun. My great-grandfather suddenly had a strange idea, to marry a tall wife with the bloodline of a general to improve his genetic genes. He found out that the daughters of your mother's family, the Zhang family, had strong general genes, so he changed his surname to Zhang. He also set up a special fund to save money, marry a daughter of the Zhang family as a daughter-in-law, and train a general. His ideal was realized by me. My son married your mother and gave birth to you and Martial Second Wolf. Both of you have the genetic traits of a general.”
武大郎问：“我的什么特质是将军的特质？”
老张公忽然向路边的几个孩子喊：“你们都过来，谁能爬到这棵树的第三个树杈，我就给他买一串糖葫芦。”几个孩子很快就爬上了树，下来后得到了糖葫芦。老张公问武大郎：“你能爬上去不？”他很快就爬到了树顶，下来后也分到了糖葫芦。有几个孩子试过了，但爬不上去。老张公问他们：“你们不想要糖葫芦吗？为什么不爬上去？”那几个孩子都回答：“想要，但我爬不上去！”老张公也为他们买了糖葫芦，转头告诉武大郎：“我和你爸爸都像这几个孩子一样，不会爬树！”
Martial Big Wolf asked: "What qualities are the genetic traits of a general?"
Old Zhang Publican suddenly called out to several children on the roadside: "Come here, whoever can climb to the third branch of this tree, I will buy him a string of candied haws." Several children quickly climbed up the tree and got candied haws when they came down. Old Zhang Publican asked Martial Big Wolf: "Can you climb up?" He quickly climbed to the top of the tree and got candied haws when he came down. Several children tried but couldn't climb up. Old Zhang Publican asked them: "Don't you want candied haws? Why don't you climb up?" The children all answered: "Yes, but I can't climb up!" Old Zhang Publican also bought candied haws for them, turned around and told Martial Big Wolf: "I and your father are just like these children; we can't climb trees!"
1.1-4
随后，老张公（又名邓国公）领着武大郎来到了卖马的市场，对他说：“你爸爸骑驴，你妈妈骑马。”
武大郎立刻反驳道：“不对！我爸爸骑马，那个女人（妈祖）骑驴！”
“那我们去问问！” 说着，张公领着武大郎问一个人：“你教过的最笨的学骑马的人是谁？”那人回答：“你儿子礼敬公是其中的一个。我前半辈子总共教过四五个学不会骑马的人！”
老张公又问另外一个人同样的问题，那人回答：“我一共遇见过七位学不会骑马的人，你儿子礼敬公是其中之一！”
老张公对武大郎说：“为了教你爸爸学骑马，我曾经为他请过十多位教骑马的老师。有五位老师，教几天之后就拒绝继续教你爸爸学骑马了！”
Then, Old Zhang Publican (aka. State Publican of Deng) took Martial Big Wolf to the horse market and said to him, "Your father rides a donkey, and your mother rides a horse."
Martial Big Wolf immediately retorted, "No! My father rides a horse; that woman (Mazu) rides a donkey!"
"Then let's go ask!" Old Zhang Publican led Martial Big Wolf to ask a man: "Who is the dumbest horse rider you have ever taught?" The man replied: "Your son Publican Etiquette Salutation is one of them. In my first half of my life, I have taught four or five people who couldn't learn to ride a horse!"
Old Zhang Gong asked another person the same question, and the man replied: "I have met seven people who couldn't learn to ride a horse, and your son Publican Etiquette Salutation is one of them!"
Old Zhang Publican said to Martial Big Wolf: "To teach your father to ride a horse, I once hired more than ten horse riding teachers for him. Five of them refused to continue teaching your father to ride a horse after teaching for a few days!"
这时，很多人围了过来，问：“这孩子是你的孙子吗？他会骑马不？”老张公有礼貌地回答：“他是我儿子礼敬公的儿子！” 老张公来到一匹高头战马的旁边，问马的主人：“我能借用一下你的马不？”那人回答，当然可以！老张公又问武大郎：“你会骑马不？”
武当郎蹭一下蹦到了马背上，策马扬鞭，像似骑士一样，跑了起来。人们看见他个小，脚没蹬在马蹬子上，而是双腿夹住了马背，像似粘在了马背上一样。回来后，武大郎一勒缰绳，做了个立马扬鞭的姿势。
老张公搂着武大郎问一个曾经放弃教礼敬公的马术老师：“你说我们家的人都学不会骑马，他是我的孙子不？”
At this time, many people gathered around and asked, "Is this child your grandson? Can he ride a horse?" Old Zhang Publican politely replied, "He is a son of my son Publican Etiquette Salutation!" Old Zhang Gong came to the side of a tall war horse and asked the owner of the horse, "Can I borrow your horse?" The man replied, of course! Old Zhang Publican then asked Martial Big Wolf, "Can you ride a horse?"
Martial Big Wolf jumped onto the horse's back, whipped the horse, and ran like a knight. People saw that he was small, and his feet were not on the stirrups, but his legs were clamped on the horse's back, as if he was glued to the horse's back. After returning, Martial Big Wolf pulled the reins and made a gesture of standing on the horse and whipping the whip.
Old Zhang hugged Martial Big Wolf and asked a horsemanship teacher who had given up teaching Publican Etiquette Salutation: "You said that no one in my family can learn to ride a horse. Is he, my grandson?"
那位马术师回答：“他的这个擅长骑马的遗传基因来自他的母亲，张夫人，不是来自你儿子礼敬公。张夫人她们家具有将军血统，祖上出过好几位大将军。”
老张公把武大郎推到了他的面前，问：“我想把他培养成大将军，你看怎么样？”
那位马术师反问：“他会射箭吗？”
老张公问：“谁有弓和箭？”
有人回答：“屋里有，我给你取来！”战马的主人缩短了链接马镫的绳索。武大郎接过弓和箭后，又飞身上马，一边跑马一边射箭。最后的三箭是转身向后射的，都射中了把心。”
The equestrian replied, "His gene for riding horses comes from his mother, Mrs. Zhang, not from your son, Publican Etiquette Salutation. Mrs. Zhang's family has the blood of generals, and there were several great generals in their ancestry."
Old Zhang Publican pushed Martial Big Wolf in front of him and asked, "I want to train him to be a great general, what do you think?"
The horseman asked back, "Can he shoot arrows?"
Publican Old Zhang asked, "Who has a bow and arrows?"
Someone answered, "They are in the house. I'll get them for you!" The warhorse's master shortened the rope that connected the stirrup. Martial Big Wolf took the bow and arrows, jumped on his horse again, and shot arrows while riding. The last three arrows were shot behind, and all hit the heart.
那位马术师对老张公说：“我只是个贩马的，说什么您别在意！”
老张公答：“你随便说！”
马术师说：“他完全继承了他曾外祖父，张大将军的将帅基因。如果他能成为将军，他的功绩会远远超过他的曾外祖父。”
有人说：“他的身材那么小，怎么打仗啊！”
马术师说：“我说如果他能够成为将军，就将是一位伟大的将军，因为大将军打仗靠的是智慧。这孩子完全拥有学习排兵布阵智慧的特质。”
The equestrian said to Publican Old Zhang: "I am just a horse dealer, don't mind what I say!"
Old Zhang Publican replied: "Whatever you say!"
The equestrian said: "He has completely inherited the gene of his great-grandfather, General Zhang. If he can become a general, his achievements will far exceed his great-grandfather's."
Someone said, "How can he fight in a war when he is so small?"
The equestrian said, "I say if he can become a general, he will be a great general, because a great general fights a war with wisdom. This child has the traits to learn the wisdom of deploying troops."
老张公开玩笑说：“我请你做我孙子的马术师，你看怎么样？”
那位马术师问：“他是不是那位把我们这里的相面先生都赶走了的武大郎？”（注，有些相面先生因为辩论中输给了武大郎，丢了面子和生意，所以离开了乾塘关。）
老张公回答：“正是！”
马术师回答：“那我不收他这个徒弟，我在乾塘关混了大半辈子了，不想换地方工作！”
Publican Old Zhang said jokingly, "I want you to be my grandson's horsemanship teacher, what do you think?"
The horseman asked, "Is he the Martial Big Wolf who drove away all the fortune tellers here?" (Note: Some fortune tellers left Qian’tang Pass because they lost face and business to Martial Big Wolf in the debate.)
Old Zhang Publican replied, “Exactly!”
The equestrian was replying, “Then I won't take him on as an apprentice, I've been hanging around in Qian’tang Pass for most of my life and I don't want to change places to work!”
