TENEBRAE (熄灯礼拜)- THE SERVICE OF SHADOW

这是我第一次参加熄灯礼拜.我在仪式即将开始的时候赶到,整个教堂暗暗的.讲坛正中的桌子上点着八支蜡烛,放着音乐,大屏幕上是一些经句和让我们思考的语句,下面已经坐了很多人.气氛十分肃穆.

我喜欢这样众人在一起的静默.大家坐在幽幽的灯光的暗影里,烛光点点.轻轻的乐声里,我们默默静坐,默想自己的过犯和软弱,默念耶稣为我们承受的一切.那么多人,静静坐着,读着屏幕上的文字,默默仰望,沉思.我喜欢这样的时候,我感到他人的存在,共同的思想,却又可以安静,和神独自交流.有一种力量把我们连在一起.

牧师简短的介绍和祷告之后,仪式就开始了.整个仪式过程当中所有人都当沉默.有指定的人上去读相关的经句,一个人读完,就熄灭一支蜡烛,然后是音乐;接着下一个人上去读,再熄灭一支蜡烛,直至蜡烛全部熄灭.众人可以在座位上停留默祷,然后静静离去.

我从一开始的经句朗读就开始流泪,时断时续.那些熟悉的经句和音乐从来没有这样打动过我.我的眼泪不知不觉流下,就像一个孩子终于明白自己做错了什么,给大人带来怎样的苦痛.

记得以前有一次团契聚会时,一个弟兄讲耶稣受难,放了Via Dolorosa这首歌,他两眼红红,满面伤痛,好像耶稣就是他的亲人.我当时很不理解,没想到现在我也到了这一步.

我满心感念耶稣为我们做的牺牲,受的痛苦,侮辱,以及担世人之罪在他一身而与神的片刻分离.申初的时候,他忍受着肉体的折磨,众人的侮辱,大声喊着说:"My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" 他不能忍受他的父向他掩面.而他要成就他父的事.

我是如此羞愧,羞愧自己的罪,和软弱.今天所有经句中最震动我的是:

LUKE
22:54 他们拿住耶稣，把他带到大祭司的宅里。彼得远远的跟着。
Then took they him, and led him, and brought him into the high priest's house. And Peter followed afar off.
 
22:55 他们在院子里生了火，一同坐着。彼得也坐在他们中间。
And when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the hall, and were set down together, Peter sat down among them. 

22:56 有一个使女，看见彼得坐在火光里，就定睛看他，说，这个人素来也是同那人一伙的。
But a certain maid beheld him as he sat by the fire, and earnestly looked upon him, and said, This man was also with him. 
 
22:57 彼得却不承认，说，女子，我不认得他。
And he denied him, saying, Woman, I know him not. 
 
22:58 过了不多的时候，又有一各人看见他，说，你也是他们一党的。彼得说，你这个人，我不是。
And after a little while another saw him, and said, Thou art also of them. And Peter said, Man, I am not. 
 
22:59 约过了一小时，又有一个人极力的说，他实在是同那人一伙的。因为他也是加利利人。
And about the space of one hour after another confidently affirmed, saying, Of a truth this fellow also was with him: for he is a Galilaean. 
 
22:60 彼得说，你这个人，我不晓得你说的是什么。正说话之间鸡就叫了。
And Peter said, Man, I know not what thou sayest. And immediately, while he yet spake, the cock crew. 
 
22:61 主转过身来，看彼得。彼得便想起主对他所说的话，今日鸡叫以先，你要三次不认我。
And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. 
 
22:62 他就出去痛哭。
And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.
 
彼得在耶稣呼招他的时候就扔下鱼网财产跟随主，就在不久前,耶稣提到他将被出卖时,彼得还说:主阿，我就是同你下监，同你受死，也是甘心。

LUKE
22:33 彼得说，主阿，我就是同你下监，同你受死，也是甘心。
And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death. 
 
22:34 耶稣说，彼得，我告诉你，今日鸡还没有叫，你要三次说不认得我。
And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.

可是我们人就是这样地软弱,如彼得一样,虽然全心全意要跟随主,同下监,共受死也都情愿.可是事到临头,却是软弱,做了不同的决定.多么可悲.我们每天不都是这样么,这样地犯错,这样地背离神.

但是他还是原谅了我们,如同他原谅了彼得.为了我们的软弱和罪,竟让他的独生子这样卑贱,惨痛地在十字架上流尽了他的血.而成就拯救我们的事.

羞愧,痛心,我们却无法改变我们身上注定的原罪.

所以我们要从此向神,让圣灵来支持引导我们,让神来改变我们的本性,而活回我们原有的样子.

Background information:

Tenebrae is the Latin word for Shadows. This service is a meditation on the evening before Good Friday when Jesus and his disciples stood in the shadow of the Cross.

The gradual extinguishing of hte candles after each reading is symbolic of th eadvancing darkness that came over Jesus with the flight of his disciples, the bitter hatred of his enemies, and the looming horror of death by crucifixion. After each reading there is a time of meditation with a musical interlude.

After teh opening hymn everyone shall observe the discipline of silence until he/she is outside the building.