Five Stages of Snow Grief - ZT (Graeme McRanor from 24 )

It's okay to cry. Let it all out. It's only natural. Bad things happen to good people, even in Lotus Land.

Sure It's only been snowing for two days, but in Vancouver, being buried under two feet of snow is as grave as six. Rest in peace, Vaouverites, 24 hours lends a hand to be your guiding light through this dark, depressing period of our lives.

Here now are the five stages of snow grief:

1. Denial (this isn't happening to us!)
Possible symptoms:
*Snow tires? This car's great in the snow. It's front-wheel drive
*Ice scrapers are for ice. This plastic spatula works fine for snow
*Snow shovels are for Easterners. Let the rain do its work

2. Anger (why is this happening to us!)
Possible symptoms:
*How are we supposed to get to Starbucks with no damned snow tires?
*You mean to tell us lululemon yoga wear doesn't contian any Goretex?!
*When is this godforsaken snow going to turn to rain?!

3. Bargaining (we promise we'll be beeter people if...)
Possible symptoms:
*We should have bought a set of snow tires. Well, maybe at least a pair. Okay, next year.
*Just make it melt. We'll never complain about the rain again. We promise.
*Okay, we'll take the snow. Just let us drink the water.

4. Depression (we just don't care any more)
Possible symptoms:
*Now is the winter of our dicontent
*We don't even feel like getting dressed and going to Starbucks today
*These Mountain Equipment Co-op snow pants make us look fat.

5. Acceptance (we're ready for whatever comes)
*Well, it'll be nice to finally have a white Christmas on the West Coast
*On the bright side, skiing and snowboarding are going to be great.
*At least we don't live in Toronto.