10 宿命通 Fate Through

卢岩的回忆录， 41至50岁，2011-2016年；Layan’s Memoirs, Ages 41-50, 2011-2016
本章目录 Chapter Contents：10.1 刘团长的死讯 News of Liu’s Death；10.2 大爆炸Big Bang；10.3去找刘健君结婚 Went to Marry Eve Liu；10.4 刘团长的遗言 Troupe Leader Liu’s Will；10.5 宿命通 Fate Through；10.6 治疗心病的原则 Principles of Curing Mental Illness；10.7 宿命智 Fate Intelligence；10.8 神的外貌 Godly Appearances；10.9 三位一体 Godly Trinity；10.10 灵魂转世的本质 Nature of Reincarnation

10.1 刘团长的死讯 News of Liu's Death
二零一一年五月，我到高德联合公司（Golder Associates Inc.）的实验室工作。高德是家上市了的国际性岩土工程公司。我只在实验室里工作，不下工地，接触的人少。实验室的经理玛丽的名字很长，我不能拼读。在面试我时，她同意我称呼她玛丽（Mary）。她来自一个我不知道在哪里的国家。她再次解释；我还是想不出来，就不好意思再问了。工作一段时间后，我发现人们称呼她玛丽亚、罗密欧什么的，再次问应该怎么称呼她。她回答她的生活里就这样，不同的人叫她不同的名字，习惯了。我常观察她，她是个标准健壮的欧洲血统白人，行为端庄得体，传统西方人的世界观，性格不紧不慢，没有地方口音，没有民族和地域的特质；我分析不出她来自何方。
In May 2011, I went to work in the laboratory of Golder Associates Inc. Golder is a publicly traded international geotechnical engineering firm. I only worked in the lab, not went to the job site, had little contact with people. The lab manager, Mary, had a long name that I couldn't spell. When I was interviewed, she agreed to let me call her Mary. She was from a country I didn't know where. She explained again; I still couldn't figure it out, so I was too embarrassed to ask again. After working for a while, I realized that people called her Maria, Mario, or whatever, and again asked what I should call her. She replied that that was how it was in her life; different people called her different names and got used to it. I often observe her. She is a standard, strong white woman of European descent. She behaves in a dignified and proper manner, has a traditional Western worldview, a leisurely personality, no local accent, and no ethnic or regional characteristics. I cannot analyze where she is from.

开始的两个月还好，可工作中，我又接触到了达弗罗克（Davroc）和大佛印（Dufferin）公司的人和业务，渐渐的我的觉思失调症又成长起来了。我和同事之间有了矛盾，对黑社会的担心越来越重。刘健君研究灵魂转世，雇佣黑社会的人，黑社会的人办事不成，丢了面子，或者什么人矜持不住了，就可能出现谋杀事件。
The first two months were fine, but at work, I met people and business from Davroc and Dufferin, and gradually my schizophrenia worsened. I had conflicts with my colleagues, and I became more and more worried about the black society. Eve Liu studied soul reincarnation and hired black society people. If those mafias failed to get tasks done, lost face, or someone lost their composure, there might be murders.

10.1-2
一天的喝咖啡休息时间，听同事们在唠嗑。事后，不知为什么，我回忆起了玛丽讲她开会时看的录像。刘健君回答桫椤派去调查我的人：“卢岩心理的社会环境和别人不一样。他念研究生的时候，他同屋那个人是我爸爸安排的。他们就一起骗他；他就信了。”
One day during a coffee break, I listened to my colleagues chatting. Afterwards, for some reason, I recalled Mary's talk about the video she watched in the meeting. Eve Liu answered the person sent by Sal Fasullo to investigate me: "Luyan's psychological social environment is different from others. When he was a graduate student, the person he shared a room with was arranged by my father. They lied to him together; he believed it."

调查的人问：“现在你爸爸在哪儿？”
刘健君回答：“死了！我爸爸做的事儿与我没有关系。那时我不在国内，我在美国读博士呢！”
调查的人问：“那你为什么不告诉卢岩？”
The investigator asked, "Where is your father now?"
Eve Liu replied, "Dead! What my father did has nothing to do with me. I was not in China at that time, I was in the United States studying for my doctorate!"
The investigator asked, "Then why didn't you tell Luyan?"

刘健君回答：“我爸说，卢岩很犟。他不亲眼看见，谁告诉他，他都不信，就只能是别人在他旁边唠嗑，或者路上的人唠嗑，他听见了，就想。一点儿点儿地，他想明白了，就没事儿了。” 
调查的人问：“你爸爸想让卢岩干什么？”
刘健君回答：“他说我这辈子命运中没有丈夫，除了卢岩，别人都不行。说我不是他的女儿，卢岩是他的儿子。他就想让我和卢岩结婚。我爸说，看不见我和卢岩结婚，他死不瞑目。你看，我不迷信，不信这个。”
Eve Liu replied, "My dad said that Luyan was very stubborn. If he didn't see it with his own eyes, he wouldn't believe anyone who told him, so he could only think about it when others chattered next to him or people on the road chattered, and he heard it. Little by little, he figured it out, and then he was fine."
The investigator asked, "What did your father want Luyan to do?"
Eve Liu replied, "He said that I had no husband in my life, and that no one else would do except Luyan. He said that I am not his daughter and Luyan is his son. He then wanted me to marry Luyan. My dad said he can't see me marry Luyan, he dies with eyes open. You see! I am not superstitious and don't believe in this."

我回忆起来玛丽亚所说的话之后，感觉奇怪：如果这是我以前想过的事，想象与现实混淆了，那不应该有我根本不知道的事。我回忆起了本书第2章中《桃花劫》的故事，是我妈妈给我讲的。她不记得 “前世姻缘，命中注定” 这八个字了。那玛丽亚说的这八个字是从哪里来的（注2）！？而且玛丽说的是英语，她的用词和我英语用词的习惯根本不一样。我回忆、分析刘团长已经五、六年没对我做过什么了，认为他真的已经过世了。
After I recalled what Marry said, felt strange: If this was something I had thought about before, and imagination was confused with reality, then there shouldn't be something I didn't know. I recalled the story of "Peach Flower Catastrophe" in Chapter 2 of this book, which my mother told me. She didn't remember the eight words “Former Generation’s Marriage Factors, Predetermining Fate”. So where did Mary's eight words come from (Note 2)!? And Mary spoke English, her word usage was completely different from my English verbal habits. I recalled and analyzed that Troupe Leader Liu had not done anything to me for five or six years, thought he was dead.

注10.1-2，环境形成后，相关的语言就会出现。在前文第2章，我两岁时听这样的词当然不理解，记忆也很少，但这时有了相关的环境，这词就冒出来了。
Note 10.1-2, after the environment is formed, the related language will appear. In the previous chapter 2, when I was two years old, I didn’t understand such words and I had very little memory, but now there is a related environment, so the words pop up.

我认为刘团长真的早就过世了，心情很不好，两三天里像似病了一样。我怀疑刘健君收买了我的妻子，并委托人照顾我的孩子，我总发现他们在变化。
I thought that Troupe Leader Liu had really passed away a long time ago. I was in a very bad mood and seemed to be sick for two or three days. I suspected that Eve Liu bribed my wife and entrusted someone to take care of my children. I always found that they were changing.

10.2 大爆炸 Big Bang

一天下午，我忽然感觉肚子疼，怀疑大佛印那帮人（敌对势力）要杀我灭口，指使我同事在我喝的咖啡里下毒。我去警察局报警，警察看着我说，都没记录，没什么反应。我离开了警察局，想去医院；可我知道在医院排队看病要等十几个小时，实在是难熬，就回家了。
One afternoon, I suddenly felt a stomach-ache and suspected that Dufferin gang (hostile forces) wanted to kill me and instruct my colleagues to poison my coffee. I went to the police station to report the case, but the police looked at me while I was talking; there is no record, no response. I left the police station and wanted to go to the hospital, but I knew that I would have to wait for more than ten hours to see a doctor in the hospital, which was unbearable, so I went home.

我一直想我和刘团长之间的事，认为自从2004年，他就没再来逗我玩了。我串联起了整个第2章《桃花劫》的故事（注，但还没有回忆出第1至3章的事），认为自己想明白了 “前世姻缘，命中注定” 这八个字。我一直对佛教的不见顶智（即上帝之眼）着迷，没想到刘团长用在我身上了。我觉得自己是个畜生，他那么大岁数了，快病死了，三番两次托人捎信让我去看他，而我像个活驴一样，无动于衷；自作孽，不可活！
I have been thinking about what happened between me and Troupe Leader Liu, and I think he has not come to tease me since 2004. I have linked together the story of the entire Chapter 2 "Peach Blossom Catastrophe" (note, but I have not yet recalled the events of Chapters 1 to 3), and I think I have figured out the eight words “Former Generation’s Marriage Factors, Predetermining Fate”. I have always been fascinated by the Buddhist “intelligence of not seeing the top” (i.e. God's Eye), but I didn't expect Troupe Leader Liu to use it on me. I feel like a beast. He is so old and dying of illness. He repeatedly asked people to send me messages to visit him, but I was like a donkey, indifferent, self-inflicted sin, not deserving to live!

10.2-1 肠梗阻 Ileus
忽然，我感觉五脏六腑都在移动，身体里到处都是邪气乱窜。我小时候练过气功（参见第12章），对这种肢体的触觉幻觉不感觉奇怪，但这邪气发动的规模之大，程度之剧烈，让我震惊。我赶忙躺到了床上，以免晕倒。
Suddenly, I felt my internal organs moving, and “ill air” were running all over my body. I had practiced meditation when I was a child (see chapter 12), so I didn't find this kind of tactile hallucination strange, but the scale and intensity of the “ill air” shocked me. I quickly lay down on the bed to avoid fainting fall.

我感觉到胸下出现一个隔截面（如插图10.2.1-A），上下不通气，胃肠不走动（注，现代医学称为肠梗阻）。我立刻调整呼吸，驱动真气沿着任脉向下冲击那个中截面。真气一接触那道截面，截面就溃散了。很快，那些邪气又变形重组，堵在胸口处（约在膳中穴，俗称中丹田）。我继续调整呼吸，用真气沿着任脉向下冲击堵在心窝处沉重阴冷的邪气。几分钟后，我打通了任脉，身体和胃肠的蠕动恢复了正常。我镇静下来后，心想：一时悸动，还真没遇见过；可不能再胡思乱想了！
I felt a diaphragm section appear under my chest (as shown in Illustration 10.2.1-A), with no air circulation and gastrointestinal tract movement (note, this is called intestinal obstruction in modern medicine). I immediately adjusted my breathing and drove “True Air” down along the Ren Mai to impact the middle section. As soon as the “True Air” touched the section, the section collapsed. Soon, the “Ill Air” reshaped and reorganized, blocking the chest (about the Shan Zhong acupoint, commonly known as the middle Dantian). I continued to adjust my breathing and used the Qi (i.e., True Air) down along the Ren Mai to impact the heavy and cold evil Qi (i.e., Ill Air) blocking my chest. After a few minutes, I opened the Ren Mai, my body and the peristalsis of stomach returned to normal. After I calmed down, I thought to myself: I have never experienced such a temporary palpitation before; I can't let my imagination run wild!

10.2-2 大爆炸 Big Bang
过了一会儿，我不介意刚才发生的事了，又开始自责：我可真不是个东西，这不是人干的事儿。突然，我又感觉全身都有异动，赶忙平躺在床上了，全身的肉都有轻微的凹凸跳动的现象。凹凸跳动的现象有些加剧了。从命门穴（后腰两肾处），各发射出一股电弧的感觉沿着体表皮肤，像似水纹一样扩散；两股电弧在前腹处相撞了。接着，全身都有大小多个电圈套着肢体和整个身体上下移动，像似在做CT检查扫描一样，但我在经历的是多个电圈上下移动扫描我的身体。两只胳臂和两条腿分别有多个小电圈在上下移动扫描。突然，全身各处涌起气伴随着电流，以比读秒快几倍的速度，向丹田（如插图10.2.1-B）汇集。聚集在丹田后，立刻就爆炸了。随着爆炸，那些碎片气扩散到了全身各处。
After a while, I stopped caring about what happened and started to blame myself again: I am a piece of shit, this is not what a human being does. Suddenly, I felt something moving all over my body, and I quickly lay flat on the bed. My flesh was slightly bumpy and pulsating. The bumpy and pulsating phenomenon was a little more severe. From the Ming Men acupoint (the two kidneys in the lower back), a feeling of electric arcs was emitted along the skin surface, spreading like water ripples; the two arcs collided in the front abdomen. Then, there were multiple large and small electric circles all over my body, which were wrapped around my limbs and my entire body, moving up and down, just like a CT scan, but I was experiencing multiple electric circles moving up and down to scan my body. There were multiple small electric circles moving up and down on my two arms and two legs. Suddenly, Qi (i.e., Air) surged from all parts of my body, accompanied by electric currents, and gathered towards Dantian (as shown in illustration 10.2.1-B) at a speed several times faster than the countdown. After gathering in Dantian, it immediately exploded. With the explosion, the fragmented Qi (i.e., air) spread to all parts of my body.

我高幸地想：哎呀！大爆炸，百脉震开！我小时候在气功书上看过这种现象的描写，会百脉皆开。可是，正在发生的事情和传说的不一样。几秒后，整个身躯，包括脸部的肉都有明显的凹凸式上下跳动的现象，像似沸腾了着的水面；我的全身各处都在沸腾和震动。我对自己说：“镇静！沉住气！别慌！” 全身凸凹跳动的现象持续了几秒后，渐渐地平息了。这时我在床上平躺着，关注着全身各处的异动。
I thought happily: Oh my! Big explosion, all sutras (i.e., the lines in the acupuncture chart, see figs. 10.2.1) are shaken open! When I was a child, I read the description of this phenomenon in a meditation book, that all the sutras will be opened. However, what was happening was different from the legend. After a few seconds, the whole body, including the flesh on my face, had a clear bumpy up and down phenomenon, like the boiling water surface; my whole body was boiling and vibrating. I said to myself: "Calm down! Keep calm! Don't panic!" The bumpy and jumping phenomenon of the whole body continued for a few seconds, and gradually subsided. At this time, I was lying flat on the bed, paying attention to the abnormal movements of various parts of my body.

散布在全身各处的气变得清凉，随着流动在数百处小范围内聚集，并伴有电流、阴冷、凸凹地跳动的病气（或邪气）的感觉。我意识到了这不是好现象！不是书里描写的舒服，凉爽。我感觉那些迷走性风湿气中几十股大的，不走经脉，而是径直地走向心脏，一边移动一边还在汇集。有几股迷走性风湿气移动得很快，比如说，厘米每秒。
The air that was scattered all over the body became cool, and as it flowed, it gathered in hundreds of small areas, accompanied by the feeling of electric current, coldness, and uneven beating of diseased air (or evil air). I realized that this was not a good phenomenon! It was not the comfortable and cool feeling described in the book. I felt that dozens of large vagal rheumatic airs did not go through the sutras, but went straight to my heart, gathering as they moved. Some vagal rheumatic airs moved very fast, for example, centimeters per second.

我立刻紧张了，如果迷走性风湿气侵入心脏；心脏就是一团肌肉，若是这样怪异地颤抖，那不就是心肌梗塞吗！我小时候，听奶奶说过多次。她一次生气后，在外面树荫下睡着了。半梦半醒之间，她感觉像似有一股气流进了心脏。从那时起，她就患了心脏病。
I immediately became nervous. If the vagal rheumatic air invaded the heart, and the heart is a mass of muscle, if it trembled strangely like this, wouldn't it be a myocardial infarction!? I was having a Heart Attack! When I was a child, I heard my grandmother talk about these many times. Once she was angry and fell asleep under the shade of a tree outside. Between half asleep and half awake, she felt as if a stream of air entered her heart. From then on, she suffered from heart disease.

保卫心脏，我立刻行动起来了，别的器官都管不了了。我开始用真气对离心脏近且移动速度快的迷走性风湿气进行攻击。好在，那些邪气流都很脆弱，一被真气碰到，就散了。很短的时间内，我就击溃了十几股迷走性风湿气流团。这时我发现，几股主要的风湿气移动得慢了，大部分风湿气不移动了。我镇静了下来。
I immediately took action to protect my heart, ignoring other organs. I began to use my “true air” to attack the “vagal rheumatic air” that was close to my heart and moved quickly. Fortunately, those “evil airs” were very fragile, and they dispersed once they were touched by my “true air”. In a short period of time, I defeated more than a dozen “vagal rheumatic air” groups. At this time, I found that several major rheumatic airs moved slowly, and most of the rheumatic airs did not move. I calmed down.

注10.2.2 Note 10.2.2
插图10.2.1-2源自古墨西哥，表明古代的美洲有和中国类似的真气理论（即针灸和气功理论，参见第12章）。插图10.2.1-4是公元七世纪，帕卡尔王（Lord Pacal，亦作金童，特拉洛克，狮子王））的灵棺盖板，刻画了他堕入地狱的前因后果。图上部显示十字架或金刚剑插入了帕卡尔王的腹部，表示他被十字架钉住了，病危了。图底部他的狮子头正处于一个火匣子里，表示帕卡尔王堕入了 “火途” （即地狱，精神病）。火匣子上面是他的神父的棺材，表示帕卡尔王是被 “他神父过世” 的信息打入地狱的。棺材里是空的，只留下了尸体爆炸后遗留下来的三块儿残渣（即三块佛骨舍利，人骨），表明帕卡尔王听到他神父过世的消息后，体内发生了爆炸，所以他堕入了地狱，即患了精神病。棺材上面显示，一根射精的阴茎可以提起棺材，表示帕卡尔王和翠玉女（即玉女）的事实婚姻是治疗他的疾病的正确方法，可以使他脱离地狱。
Illustration 10.2.1-2 originated from ancient Mexico, indicating that ancient American had a similar theory of “true air” (i.e. acupuncture and meditation theory; cf. chapter 12) as Chinese. Illustration 10.2.1-4 is the coffin cover of Lord Pacal (aka. Gold Boy, Tlaloc, Jaguar) in the seventh century CE, depicting the cause and effect of his falling into hell. The upper part of the picture shows a cross or “philosopher-stone sword” inserted into his abdomen, indicating that he was crucified, was critically ill. At the bottom of the picture, his lion head is in a fire box, indicating that King Pakal fell into the "fire path" (i.e. hell, mental illness). Above the fire box is his godfather's coffin, indicating that King Pakal was sent to hell by the information that "his godfather had passed away". The coffin is empty, leaving only three pieces of residue left after the corpse exploded (i.e. three pieces of Buddha's bones, human bones), indicating that King Pakal's body exploded after hearing the news of his godfather's death, so he fell into hell, that is, he suffered from mental illness. The coffin is shown with an ejaculating penis that can lift the coffin, indicating that King Pakal's de facto marriage with Chalchiuhtlicue (aka. Jade Girl) is the right way to cure his illness and save him from hell.

10.2-3 我投降了 I surrendered.
我对刘团长对我做过什么感到迷惑；但我和他的矛盾是我不同意他的 “我卢岩是刘健君的丈夫” 的决定（参见8.2节《死不瞑目》）。我真气已经很少了（注，聚集和运送真气需要大量的体力和时间），可这时的我全身都是风湿气。我已经处于面对死亡的状态，投降了。
I was confused about what Troupe Leader Liu had done to me; but the conflict between me and him was that I disagreed with his decision that "I, Luyan, is Eve Liu's husband" (cf. v. 8.2 "Die with Eyes Open"). I had very little “true air” left (note, gathering and transporting “true air” requires a lot of physical strength and time), but my whole body was full of rheumatism. I was already facing death, surrendered.

我跪在床上发誓： “刘健君是我的妻子；刘团长是我岳父；我会去追求她并和她结婚。” 我不断地叨咕着： “刘健君她爸是我的岳父，刘健君是我的媳妇。” 我知道誓言对人的思想有很强的统摄作用。这样出声地叨咕，有助于我集中思想和精力，对不让松散意识抵触和破坏我的主意识，消除心理矛盾大有好处。
I knelt on the bed and swore: "Eve Liu is my wife; Troupe Leader Liu is my father-in-law; I will pursue her and marry her." I kept muttering: "Eve Liu's father is my father-in-law; Eve Liu is my wife." I know that oaths have a strong control over people's thoughts. Mumbling out loud like this helps me concentrate my thoughts and energy and is very helpful in preventing loose consciousness from conflicting and destroying my main consciousness and eliminating psychological contradictions.

我找出了我收藏的针灸经脉图。真气在经脉里会走得快，通畅和增强。我先在经脉图上筹划运气的路线，和打击风湿症的最短和最有力的角度，再运气发功对风湿症病处进行攻击。又击碎了几团风湿症后，我发现迷走性风湿症移动的速度变得更慢了。我沿着手少阴心经（如插图10.2.1-C）运气；用真气把心脏包裹了起来。这样，弱的迷走性风湿症不会有机会靠近心脏。
I found the acupuncture sutra map I collected. The “true air” will move faster, smoother and stronger in the sutras. I first planned the route of “true air” flow on the sutra map, the shortest and most powerful angle to hit the rheumatism, then used “true air” to attack the rheumatism. After breaking up a few more clusters of rheumatism, I found that the vagal rheumatism moved slower. I moved “true air” along the “Shou Shao Yin heart sutra” (as shown in Figure 10.2.1-C), wrapped my heart with “true airs”. In this way, the weak vagal rheumatism would not have the opportunity to get close to my heart.

这时，我认为自己必须吃好睡好，保持健康，才能与全身的迷走性风湿症对抗。如果我的身体健康变差了，就可能什么时候患了风湿性心脏病，死不了也成了废人。我向妻子和孩子做了生死离别，没明说，她们也不懂。我害怕睡梦里自己不知道保护心脏，所以睡觉前，洗了热水澡来平衡全身的体温，以减少做梦。我躺在床上，调息收敛思想，然后熄灭了前意识，把心身的控制权交给了无意识（古作神识）。佛经上说，这种状态，人的愈合力极强，等同神佛。
At this time, I thought that I must eat well, sleep well, and stay healthy to fight against the vagal rheumatism in my body. If my physical health deteriorated, I might develop rheumatic heart disease at some point, and I would become a disabled person even if I didn't die. I said goodbye to my wife and children, but I didn't say it clearly, they didn't understand. I was afraid that I didn't know to protect my heart in my dreams, so before going to bed, I took a hot bath to balance the body temperature and reduce dreaming. I lay in bed, regulating my breathing and concentrating my intention, then extinguished the preconscious and handed over the control of the mind and body to the unconscious (anciently known as God-sense). The Buddhist scriptures say that in this state, people have extremely strong healing power, equivalent to Gods and Buddhas.

注10.2.3 Note 10.2.3
前面三小节描述的病症在现代的医学中称作皈依失调（Conversion Disorder；如图10.2.3-1所示），是一种罕见的精神疾病。在随后几年与风湿症对抗的过程中，我不断地研究，现在认为此病是这样产生的。我从小就敬畏刘团长，想拜他为师（是一种连自己都不清楚知道的向往），第8章中，遇到刘健君后，更是对刘团长有了深刻的爱恨情仇。随后，我和刘团长的爱恨情仇又持续发展了六年，但我没见过他，所以在我的幻境中他就是一团白色迷雾。那迷雾是现量（参见11.4.5 识蕴 Sense Node），代表刘团长，是我对刘团长全部感情的和记忆的依附标的物。当我意识到他已经过世了，这信息被我的无意识（古作神识）接收到后，那团迷雾就消失了，因为无意识只处理现量，而刘团长不再是现量了。这样，我对刘团长的全部感情和记忆就失去了所依附的标的物，就引起了大混乱，产生了前文的“皈依失调症”。
The symptoms described in the previous three sections are called Conversion Disorder in modern medicine (as shown in Figure 10.2.3-1), which is a rare mental illness. In the process of fighting rheumatism in the following years, I continued to study and now believe that this disease is caused by this. I have been in awe of Troupe Leader Liu since I was a child and wanted to worship him as my teacher (a yearning that I don’t even know myself). In Chapter 8, after meeting Eve Liu, I had a deep “Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred” relationship with Troupe Leader Liu. Subsequently, my “Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred” relationship with Troupe Leader Liu continued to develop for another six years, but I never met him, so in my mind he was a ball of white mist. The mist is the “Present Quantity” (see 11.4.5 Sense Node), representing Troupe Leader Liu, and is the object of my attachment to all my feelings and memories of Troupe Leader Liu. When I realized that he had passed away, this information was received by my unconsciousness (anciently known as God-sense), the ball of mist disappeared, because the unconscious only processes “Present Quantity”, and Troupe Leader Liu is no longer the “Present Quantity”. In this way, all my feelings and memories towards Troupe Leader Liu lost their attachment, which caused great confusion and resulted in the "conversion disorder" mentioned above.

前面三小节描述的病症是癔症（古作鬼病）中的一种极端现象，称作圣鬼。插图10.2.3-2源自古墨西哥，是一位堕入地狱期间的特拉洛克（即金童）。雕像顶部是古墨西哥人对圣鬼的表述。雕像的正面，圣鬼正用许多代表迷走性风湿症的阴茎攻击特拉洛克。阴茎代表产生特拉洛克体内迷走性风湿症的原因是他和翠玉女（即玉女）的婚姻纠纷。插图10.2.3-3是佛教中的金刚降魔杵；其中（4）（8）（9）的顶端部是代表圣鬼的雕塑。圣鬼的本质是惭愧；面对刘团长，我总是惭愧，是罪人。
The illness described in the previous three sections is an extreme form of Hysteria (anciently known as Ghost Illness), called the Holy Ghost. Illustration 10.2.3-2 is from ancient Mexico and is a Tlaloc (Gold Boy) who was in hell. The top of the statue is the ancient Mexican representation of the Holy Ghost. On the front of the statue, the Holy Ghost is attacking Tlaloc with many penises representing vagal rheumatism. The penises represent that the cause of vagal rheumatism in Tlaloc is his marriage dispute with Chalchiuhtlicue (Jade Girl). Illustration 10.2.3-3 is the “Philosopher-Stone Pestle” in Buddhism; the top of (4), (8), and (9) are sculptures representing the Holy Ghost. The essence of the Holy Ghost is shame; in front of Troupe Leader Liu, I always feel ashamed and am a sinner.

前面三小节描述 “死不瞑目”诅咒在我身上爆发的现象。后来我发现那和西方人所说的“三个不可饶恕的诅咒”的意义相同，知道了西方人所说的三个不可饶恕诅咒，“立毙咒，钻心咒，和夺魂咒”正是对死不瞑目诅咒所产生的现象的描述。
The first three sections describe the phenomena of the "Die with Eyes Open" curse erupting in me. Later I found that it had the same meaning as the "three unforgivable curses" mentioned by Westerners. I learned that the three unforgivable curses mentioned by Westerners, "Avada Kedavra, Imperius, and Cruciatus”, are exactly the descriptions of the phenomena caused by the “Die with Eyes Open”.

10.3 第一次寻香失败了The First Seeking-Incense Failed.
大爆炸后的第二天早晨，我醒了，发现自己没死，很兴奋，感觉全身舒畅，思维敏捷，精力充沛，变得更加欢喜了。恰巧我哥哥从中国上海打来电话。谈了几句之后，他惊讶地对我说：“卢欣（我妹妹）说你病了，我不信，所以给你打电话了。听着！我不懂神精病，但我知道，你的声音变了，像似做了心脏搭桥手术似的。开始时我都没听出来是你。你的语速特别快，我是没数，但我估计着，你的语速比平时快50-80%。你说话也太快了，我都反应不过来。另外你现在异常兴奋。这些都是精神病的症状。你现在人在哪儿呢？”
The morning after the explosion, I woke up and found that I was not dead, was very excited. I felt relaxed, my mind was sharp, and I was full of energy, became even happier. My brother happened to call me from Shanghai, China. After a few words, he said to me in surprise: "Xin Lu (my sister) said that you were sick, I didn't believe it, so I called you. Listen! I don't understand mental illness, but I know that your voice has changed, as if you had a heart bypass surgery. At first, I didn't recognize it as you. You speak very fast. I didn't count, but I estimated that your speed was 50-80% faster than usual. You speak too fast, I can't react. In addition, you are abnormally excited now. These are symptoms of mental illness. Where are you now?"

我回答：“在家里的后院儿。”
哥哥立刻说：“那可不行！现在你这么兴奋，我是真不懂；但过一会儿你可能晕倒了呢！你撞了哪里，流血了，家里又没别人，那血就流干了，死了！赶紧回屋躺在床上。” 我向屋里走时，感觉身体渐渐地变得沉重了；全身又有了昨天的风湿症的感觉。哥哥在电话里说：“你的声音变回来了！慢慢地走，躺倒在床上。你赶紧回国吧！” 
I answered, "In the backyard of my house." 
Brother immediately said, "That won't do! I don't understand why you are so excited now, but you might faint in a while! If you hit something and bleed, there is no one else at home, the blood will dry up then you will die! Go back to the house and lie on the bed." As I walked into the house, I felt my body gradually become heavy; my whole body felt the rheumatism I had yesterday. My brother said on the phone, "Your voice has returned! Walk slowly and lie down on the bed. Go back China quickly!"

10.3-2 病态 Sickness
这时，我想着本书第2章《桃花劫》里算命先生的说法，“桃花运来了，谁也没办法，赶紧去娶人家的女儿入洞房，否则，你活不过一百天”。我认为自己只有一百天的寿命了，开始办签证，准备回国找刘健君结婚。我这是依照本书2.4节的说法， “被人家用死不暝目诅咒了，死不了也活不长；解法就是照着人家下咒人的愿望去做。” 这时，我并不真正地懂得《桃花劫》的道理。
At this time, I thought about what the fortune teller said in Chapter 2 of this book, "Peach Flower Catastrophe", "When ‘peach flower fortune’ comes, no one can stop it, hurry up and marry the man's daughter into the bridal chamber, otherwise, you will not live for more than a hundred days." I thought I only had a hundred days to live, so I started to apply for a visa and prepare to return to China to marry Eve Liu. I was following the statement in Section 2.4 of this book, "If someone curses you with ‘Die with Eyes Open’, you will not live long even you didn’t die instantly; the only solution is to do what the person who cursed you wishes." At this time, I did not really understand the theory of Peach Flower Catastrophe.

这时，我怀疑所有的人。我去领事馆办签证时，认为刘健君派人暗中帮助我。飞机上，我认为刘健君安排人在暗示我：如何保护我自己的心脏。那时，我时刻精神内敛，注意着自己体内风湿症的走动，不停地用真气包裹着心脏，驱赶着风湿症。
At this time, I suspected everyone. When I went to the consulate to apply for a visa, I thought Eve Liu sent someone to help me secretly. On the plane, I thought Eve Liu arranged for someone to hint me how to protect my own heart. At that time, I was always introverted, paying attention to the movement of rheumatism in my body, and constantly wrapping my heart with “true airs” to drive away rheumatism.

10.3-3 癔症 Hysteria
大爆炸发生两三天后，我怀疑那是癔症（Hysteria）。癔症就是不能正确理解第12章中的幻觉现象，认为那是鬼灵精怪或外星生物，又常常琢磨，就与那些他或她认为的鬼灵精怪的幻觉现象建立了联系。若认为对方有恶意，便生惶惑。常常回忆那些现象会招致那些幻觉再现，于是惑又生恐，恐又生惑，思想身体经历相互呼应，就走入了极端，患上了癔症。
Two or three days after the Big Bang, I suspected that it was hysteria. Hysteria is the inability to correctly understand the hallucinations in Chapter 12, thinking that they are ghosts or alien creatures, and often thinking about them can establish a connection with those ghosts and hallucinations that he or she thinks are ghosts or aliens. If you think that the component has malicious intentions, you will be confused. Frequently recalling those phenomena will cause those hallucinations to reappear, so confusion will lead to fear, and fear will lead to confusion. The thoughts and body experiences echo each other, then they go to extremes and suffer from hysteria.

癔症古作鬼病，是因为古人以过去为阴，未来为阳，而且那些幻觉与过去的经历相关，所以称幻境为阴间。阴，佛教中作蕴，所以尘世的鬼怪佛教中亦作蕴魔。
Hysteria, anciently called as Ghost Disease, because the ancients viewed the past as Gloominess and the future as Light; and that those hallucinations relate to the past experiences, so call the hallucinations as Netherworld. Netherworld, in Buddhism, is called Node World, so those hallucinations can be called “Node Demons”.

癔症的治疗办法就是正确理解那些幻觉的现象和本质。我年轻时练习气功（参见第12章），就懂那些现象，认为自己对癔症免疫。我开始测试那些风湿症是否是幻觉，测试他们与意识的相应关系。得出的结论是没关系，那风湿症确实是大爆炸，那次超大规模的触觉幻觉遗留下来的后遗症，是真实的身体上的病症。
The cure for hysteria is to correctly understand the phenomena and nature of those hallucinations. Because I practiced Meditation (cf. chapter 12) when I was young, I understood those phenomena and thought I was immune to hysteria. I began to test whether those rheumatisms were hallucinations, testing their correspondence with intention. The conclusion reached was that it was not correlated, that that rheumatism was indeed the aftermath of the Big Bang, the legacy of that super-massive tactile hallucination, and that rheumatism was a real physical ailment.

10.3-4 第一次寻香失败了The First Seeking-Incense Failed.
2011年10月，我回到了沈阳父母家，我妈妈在中国医科大学精神病院院长王哲教授的指导下，偷偷地把利培酮口服液参进了我的饮食里。利培酮对我有很多副作用，随着药剂量的加大，我觉得全身每一个器官都有功能上的毛病，全身难受。每天我都睡15个小时以上，除了有时运气向体外排泄风湿气，没什么别的精力了。我要找刘健君，和她结婚，让她爸爸瞑目；可我说话没逻辑，家人都认为我在说疯话，没人帮我，什么事也没干成。
In October 2011, I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, where my mother secretly entered oral risperidone into my diet under the guidance of Prof. Wang Zhe, director of the psychiatric hospital at China Medical University. Risperidone has many side effects on me. As the dosage increases, I feel that every organ in my body has functional problems, and I feel uncomfortable all over. I sleep more than 15 hours a day. Except for sometimes using my “true air” to excrete rheumatic gas from my body, I have no energy for anything else. I want to find Eve Liu, marry her, and let her father rest in peace; but my words are illogical, and my family thinks I am talking nonsense. No one helps me, therefore have not accomplished anything.

仿佛听说，他们询问了，说是有刘团长那么个人，神叨叨的，早就过世了。我说的那个黄老师也已经过世了。我委托妹妹打听几个人，回复说，“问了，没找到。” 有的，回电话的人说，“没那个人！”
I seem to have heard that they asked about this person, Troupe Leader Liu, who was a mysterious person and had passed away a long time ago. The teacher Huang I was talking about had also passed away. I asked my sister to ask a few people, and she replied, "I asked, but didn't find him." “Yes, the person who answered the phone said, ’There is no such person!’"

 
注10.3.4 寻香是什么意思？Note 10.3.4, what does "seeking incense” mean?
在中华文化中，“寻香”在凡间的含义是“众灵”前往器世间投生为人、为狗等。“寻香”的香字义为女戒的“五百威仪十万八千魅力”比男戒的“三千威仪八万四千细行”（参见16.2节）多出来的部分，义为玉女的美德熏于四方。本书中作者我从堕入地狱开始直到我和刘健君结婚，就是一位寻香。因为玉女（女神）的外貌是无记性的，现在我的头脑中没有刘健君的外表形象，我辨别她就是靠辨别她的“戒香”（即五百威仪十万八千魅力）。插图10.3-1是《墨西哥法典》（参见第18章）中雨劫阶段（即寻香阶段）的墨西哥。他要找的是图1中的那个很大的女人，即地表女神翠玉女（即夏娃，如图2所示）。
In Chinese culture, in the mortal world, the meaning of “seeking incense” is the “crowd of spirits” going to rebirth becoming a human, a dog, etc. in the vessel world. The word "incense" in "seeking incense" means the extra part of the "500 Majesties 108,000 Charms" of the woman precepts compared to the "3,000 Majesties 84,000 Enchantments” of man precepts (see Section 16.2), which means that the virtues of the Jade Girl’s (Goddess’) precept fragrance smoking to four directions. In this book, I am a being who “seeks incense” from the time I fell into hell until I married Eve Liu. Because the appearance of the Jade Girl (Goddess) is memoryless, I don't have her bodily appearance in my mind now, and only I can identify her by identifying her "precept incense" (that is, 500 Majesties 108,000 Charms). Illustration 10.3-1 is Mexico during the rain catastrophe stage (i.e. the stage of seeking incense) in Mexican Codex (cf. chapter 18). He is looking for the big woman in Figure 1, the earth surface Goddess, Chalchiuhtlicue (i.e. Eve, as shown in Figure 2).

10.3-5 研究精神病 Study Psychosis
两周后，我的心情有些安静了，去书店买了中医针灸教材，开始按照真气的流注方向，引导全身的真气运行。风湿症暂时控制住了。一个月后，父母兄妹都说我疯了，而且他们在我的饮食里放了药。我不相信，也不认为自己病了；可家人都这么说，让我吃药，我也只能顺从了。找刘健君的念头渐渐地淡了。
Two weeks later, I felt a little calmer, went to a bookstore and bought some Chinese medicine and acupuncture textbooks. I began to guide the flow of “true air” throughout my body according to the direction of “true air” flow. The rheumatism was temporarily under control. A month later, my parents, brothers and sisters all said I was crazy, and they put medicine in my diet. I didn't believe it, and I didn't think I was sick; but my family said so and asked me to take medicine, so I had to obey. The idea of looking for Eve Liu gradually faded.

我小时候，崔凤龙姨父跟我说过多次，医院85-95%的精神病医生不懂精神病，所以我不信任精神病医生，就自己买了几本心理学的书。随后多年，我逐渐地相信了刘团长、刘建君、和那个精神病爱好者前女友的说法（参见4.8，7.5.1，和8.7节） ，有了自己的精神病治疗原则（参见10.6节）。
When I was a child, Uncle Dragon told me many times that 85-95% of psychiatrists in hospitals do not understand mental illness, so I did not trust psychiatrists and bought a few psychology books myself. In the following years, I gradually believed what Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu, and the ex-girlfriend who was a psychiatric enthusiast said (cf. vs. 4.8, 7.5.1, and 8.7), developed my own principles for treating mental illness (cf. v. 10.6).

10.3-6 巴甫洛夫楼 Pavlov Building
妹妹安排我和王哲教授见面。我请他帮忙找刘健君；他认为找她没用。但是，刚见面时，我听说他是医大的，随口问了句：“你知道巴甫洛夫楼不？” 他听了，愣住了，站了起来，思索了很久说：“我知道！可那时我只是个研究生，没资格进那个楼。” 
My sister arranged a meeting between me and Prof. Wang Zhe. I asked him to help me find Eve Liu. He thought it would be useless to find her. However, when we first met, I heard that he was from the China Medical University and casually asked, "Do you know the Pavlov Building?" When he heard that, he froze, stood up, thought for a long time, and said, "I know! But at that time, I was just a graduate student, not qualified to enter that building."

事后，我回忆起了他的怪异，在互联网上查找，发现了1950年代中国关于医学哲学的争议。中国传统的医学全是唯心主义的，对马克思主义是否适用于医学进行了辩论。
Afterward, I recalled his weirdness, looked it up on the Internet, and discovered a controversy about the philosophy of medicine in China in the 1950s. Traditional Chinese medicine was all about Theism, and there was a debate about the applicability of Marxism to medicine.

注10.3-6，我在2014年写回忆录时注意到了此事，联想起了3.4节《巴甫洛夫楼》中崔凤龙出差到医大的巴甫洛夫楼，又联想起了7.4节《刘健君给我的印象》中刘健君特别告诉我这栋楼，我得出了结论：巴甫洛夫楼就是4.5节《真人医学实验报纸新闻》中所说的女子组集中培训的地方。
Note 10.3-6, I noticed this when I was writing my memoirs in 2014. It reminded me of Section 3.4 "Pavlov Building" where Uncle Dragon was on a business trip to the Medical University's Pavlov Building and reminded me of Section 7.4 "My Impression of Eve Liu", where she specifically told me about this building. I concluded that Pavlov Building is the place where the girl group was trained in Section 4.5 "Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiments".

10.3-7 病情没好转 No Improvement in Condition
在2012年3月，我回到了多伦多，开始学习心理学和精神病学。不久，我进了SPL Consultants Ltd工作。这时，我仍有妄想、敌视、怀疑等症状；在本质上，病情没有好转。
在2012年春有冰雨，我家后院的桃树没开花。几十年来第一次，我的脸上没长桃花藓。
In March 2012, I returned to Toronto and began studying psychology and psychiatry. Shortly after, I went to work for SPL Consultants Ltd. At this time, I was still experiencing delusions, hostility, and skepticism; in essence, my schizophrenia was not getting better.
In the spring of 2012, there was freezing rain and the peach tree in my backyard did not bloom. For the first time in decades, I didn't have “peach flower tinea” on my face.

10.4 刘团长的遗言 Troupe Leader Liu’s Will
二零一二年我在SPL Consultants Ltd工作期间，总是怀疑刘健君在背后指使人与我作对，认为她在继续她爸爸的灵魂转世实验。我不明白灵魂转世是怎么回事，但我听说过：这种作法，失败了，被作法的人必死。我认为只有诸佛（成熟的人）的灵魂是一样的，也就是说作法的人必须是佛，而被作法的人必须成佛，才能完成灵魂转世，避免一死。我开始有意地学习佛法。可是，什么是灵魂？什么是佛？什么是灵魂转世？我都不知道，只是盲目地学习佛法，试着写一本关于《禅》的佛学书。
When I was working at SPL Consultants Ltd in 2012, I always suspected that Eve Liu was behind the scenes instigating people to oppose me and believed that she was continuing her father's soul reincarnation experiment. I don't understand what soul reincarnation all is about, but I've heard about it: this kind of practice, if it fails, the person being polished dies. I thought that only the souls of the Buddhas (mature people) were the same, which meant that the person performing the reincarnation doings had to be a Buddha, and the person being polished had to become a Buddha to complete the reincarnation and avoid death. I began to study Buddhism intentionally, but what is the soul? What is the Buddha? What is reincarnation? I didn't know any of it, I just studied Buddhism blindly and tried to write a Buddhist book on meditation.

我患了胃肠溃疡，时常肚子疼，总是喝大量的水来冲淡有刺激的胃肠分泌，以避免胃肠表面被灼伤，和疏通瘴气。2012年夏，一次喝了大量的热水，水不很热，但喝的量大，所以胃肠被烫伤了。我试着混合凉水和热水，用手指试水温来发现合适喝的温度，发现手指有点凉的感觉才适合。这时，我忽然想起了崔凤龙姨父在1991年给我留遗言时对我说的话： “记住！温水，手指的感觉有点儿凉是适合喝的温度（参见4.10节《遗嘱》）。” 这时，我意识到了那是刘团长留给我的遗嘱。
I suffer from gastrointestinal ulcers and have stomach pains from time to time and always drink plenty of water to flush out irritating gastrointestinal secretions to avoid burning the surface of stomach and intestines and to unblock the miasma. In the summer of 2012, I drank a lot of hot water at once. The water was not very hot, but I drank a lot, so my stomach and intestines were burned. I tried to mix cold water and hot water and used my fingers to test the water temperature to find the right temperature for drinking. I found that it was suitable when my fingers felt a little cool. At this time, I suddenly remembered what Uncle Dragon said to me when he left me a will in 1991: "Remember! Warm water, the temperature that your fingers feel a little cool is the right temperature for drinking (see Section 4.10 "Will")." At this time, I realized that it was the will left to me by Troupe Leader Liu.

第一条遗嘱是个古代的故事。一个人得了渴病，需要不停地喝水。大量的水可以缓解他的病症，延续他的生命。这个人总是随身带着两桶水，用扁担挑着走，以便随时有水喝。每到一个村子或者新的地方，他都先找井。在井边喝完水后，再装满两只水桶，然后挑着两桶水再继续赶路。我明白了，刘团长有计划地陷害了我，这就是证据。我被气得发晕。此后，我时常在喝水的时候，想起他对我的细心关怀。
The first will is an ancient story. A man used to be sick with thirst and needed to drink water constantly. A large amount of water would relieve his illness and extend his life. This man always carried two buckets of water with him and carried them on a flat stretcher so that he would always have water to drink. Whenever he arrived at a village or a new place, he first looked for a well. After drinking at the well, he would then fill up the two buckets and pick the two buckets before continuing his journey. I realized that Troupe Leader Liu had systematically set me up, and this is the proof. I was so furious that I was dizzy. After that, when I was drinking water, I often thought of his careful attention to me.

 
注10.4-1，插图10.4.1-3是一位寻香（即雨劫中的墨西哥，又名特拉洛克，金童，狮子，约活跃于公元1325年）。他的右肩上的绿色条纹表示不断地有水流流进他的身体。图3上部的组合表示他的生命悬系于不断地喝大量的水来稀释刺激性的胃肠分泌。
Note 10.4-1, Illustration 10.4.1-3 is a “Seeking Incense” (i.e., Mexico in the Rain Catastrophe, a.k.a. Tlaloc, Gold Boy, and Jaguar, who was active circa C.E. 1325). The green stripe on his right shoulder indicates the constant flow of water into his body. The combination in the upper part of Figure 3 indicates that his life hangs in the balance of constantly drinking large quantities of water to dilute the irritating gastrointestinal secretions. 

10.4-2 灌顶 Anointing
2012年冬，我从SPL辞职了，在家编写《四圣谛》（参见第13至16章）。2013年夏， 我的风湿症变严重了，很悲观，认为如果我病了，身体虚弱了，风湿病就会令我丧命。我用气功运气治疗风湿，可是真气少，力量弱。
In the winter of 2012, I resigned from SPL and stayed at home to write my book of Four Cruxes (see chapters 13 to 16). In the summer of 2013, my rheumatism became more serious, and I became very pessimistic, thinking that if I became sick and weak, rheumatism would kill me. I used meditation to treat rheumatism, but I had little “true airs” and their powers was weak.

一天，我悲观消极地回忆着刘团长在世时，有他的照顾，我工作在哪里都受到重用。他过世后六、七年了，我混得什么都不是，眼泪不断地流出来。我一边哭，一边运气治疗自己的风湿症，忽然感觉头顶百会穴位（参见插图10.4.2-2）有气流像似涌泉一样强烈。我开始正式一边哭一边练习气功了。强烈温暖的真气流像似瀑布一样从头顶流下来，所到之处，一些风湿就好了。
One day, I was pessimistic and negative, recalling that when Troupe Leader Liu was alive, he took care of me, and I was highly utilized wherever I worked. Six or seven years after his death, I was a nobody, and tears kept flowing out of my eyes. While crying, I was practicing meditation to treat my rheumatism. Suddenly I felt a strong flow of “true air” like a gushing spring at the Bai Hui Cave (see Illustration 10.4.2-2) on the top of my head. I began to formally practice meditation while crying. The strong and warm “true airs” fell from the top of my head like a waterfall, and wherever it passed, some rheumatism was cured.

我意识到了，这是慈悲喜舍，此四无量心的力量。我一看时间，是正午，明白了，子午卯酉是练气功的好时间。这时的气感强烈，是因为我的悲伤和此时正是中午。我为自己设计了“活出丧”。中午家里没人时，我在后院烧我自己的工程资料、书籍等，来祭奠那个一心想当工程师的卢岩死了，营造悲、舍的心情。同时，我意识内敛在头顶的百会穴，用灌顶来治疗风湿症。
I realized that it was Mercifulness Sorrowfulness Delightfulness and Renunciation, the power of these four infinite hearts. I looked at the time, it was noon and realized that Zi Wu Mao You (those are midnight, morning 6 o’clock, noon, and evening 6 o’clock) are good times to practice meditation. The strong “true air” at this time was due to my sadness and the fact that it was noon. I designed a “living funeral” for myself. At noon, when no one was home, I burned my own engineering books in the backyard to pay tribute to the death of Luyan, who had wanted to be an engineer, to create a feeling of renunciation and sadness. At the same time, I internalized my intention at the Bai Hui cave on the top of my head to treat rheumatism with anointing. 

随后，我在打坐运气治疗风湿时，也放悲伤的音乐。就这样，逐渐地，我身上的风湿得到了治疗和控制。几天后，只有后背的膏肓、神堂、嘻嘻三处穴位（参见插图10.4.2.4-2，3，4）治不好。
Subsequently, I also played sad music while meditating for treating rheumatism. In this way, gradually, the rheumatism in my body was treated and controlled. After a few days, only the three acupoints on my back, namely, Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi (see figs 10.4.2.4-2, 3, 4)) could not be cured.

 
注10.4-2 Note 10.4-2
二零一四年，我写完《卢岩的回忆录》后研究这条 “足太阳膀胱经” （如图10.4.2-4）。从名字来看，这条经脉主宰阳纲之气。刘团长在我的后背上插了三支金刚降魔杵（如图3），或说刻下了六个字：膏肓，神堂，和嘻嘻。根据造字法，膏肓义为无药可医的死肉。神堂义为上帝的法庭。嘻嘻是前意识适悦的声音。前意识古作夏娃识。我的嘻嘻穴被锁死了，是因为刘健君（玉女，女神，夏娃）对我生气。欢乐的玉女是福，悲伤的玉女是殃，所以我的喜根（即嘻嘻穴）被锁死了。我没办法运用四无量心中的喜心来完全治疗我的风湿症。
In 2014, after I finished writing "Luyan's Memoirs", I studied this "foot sun bladder sutra" (see fig. 10.4.2-4). Judging from the name, this sutra dominates the “Godly Leading Air”. Troupe Leader Liu inserted three “Philosopher-Stone Pestles” (see figs. 3) into my back, or rather carved six hieroglyphics on my back: Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi. According to the method of creating hieroglyphics, Gaohuang means dead meat that cannot be cured by medicine. Shentang means the court of God. Xixi is the pleasant sound of the preconscious. The preconscious was called Eve-sense in ancient times. My Xixi cave was locked because Eve Liu (Jade Girl, Goddess, Eve) was angry with me. A happy Jade Girl is a Fortune, and a sad Jade Girl is a Misfortune, so my “Delight Root” (i.e. Xixi acupoint) was locked. I couldn't use the “Delight Heart” of the four infinite hearts to completely cure my rheumatism.

插图5是雨劫中的墨西哥，又名金童，特拉洛克，美洲狮，就是中华神话中的哪吒。他的右脚被画成了一面“常常冒烟的镜子”，表示他的神足有缺失。因为他以前和翠玉女打架，把女神气哭了，所以他的喜根（即嘻嘻穴）被锁死了。“常常冒烟”表示他常常对此生气，因为“喜根”被锁死了，没有喜，所以他不能自己治愈他的病；或说因为没有喜，他不能自己从地狱里爬上来。“镜子”表示他从此事懂得了女神。
Illustration 5 is Mexico in the rain catastrophe, also known as the Gold Boy, Tlaloc, and the Jaguar, which is the Nezha in Chinese mythology. His right foot is painted as a "mirror that often smokes", indicating that his divine foot is defective. Because he had a fight with the Jade Girl (Chalchiuhtlicue) before, which made the goddess cry, his delight root (i.e. Xixi acupoint) was locked. "Often smoking" means that he is often angry about this, because the "delight root" is locked, without delight, he cannot cure his illness by himself; or because he has no Delight, he cannot climb out of hell by himself. "Mirror" means that he understands Goddess from this incident. 

左脚下的轮子表示他的生命悬系于不断地朝着他和翠玉女的婚姻结合前进。在《墨西哥法典》（参见第18章）雨劫就是这样定义的，因为墨西哥心中的翠玉女常常哭泣，所以墨西哥的世界里常常下雨。
The wheel under Mexico’s left foot indicates that his life hangs on moving constantly toward his marital union with Chalchiuhtlicue (the Jade Girl). In the Mexican Codex (cf. Chapter 18) “Rain Catastrophe” is defined in this way, as it often rains in the Mexican world because the Jade Girl (Chalchiuhtlicue) of the Mexican heart often weeps.

10.5 宿命通 Fate Through
2014年春，我完成了用英语编写的四圣谛，本书13到16章的雏形，可是没地方发表，实际也是写得不好。我从中学到了很多佛学知识，为后来的学习和觉悟奠定了基础。
In the spring of 2014, I completed the Four Cruxes in English, a prototype of chapters 13 through 16 in this book, but there was no place to publish it, and it was poorly written. I learned a lot about Buddhism and laid the foundation for later study and enlightenment.

我回忆并回去参观了我来加拿大后居住和工作过的地方，发现那里的人都和我刚来加拿大时一样，还是那样的表情，那样的行为和工作方式。我明白了：世界没变，是我自己变了。我觉得自己的心病好了，可以工作了。
I reminisced and went back to visit the places where I had lived and worked since I came to Canada and realized that the people there were the same as they had been when I first came to Canada, still looked the same, acted the same, and worked the same way. I realized: the world hadn't changed; it was me who had changed. I felt that my mental illness has been cured and I can work again.

前几年的疯狂经历让我体会了客观环境受主观心性增上的现象。业是身、口、意行为的积累，即身口意的习气。业由心造，境随业转。心有净染，故境有自在及不自在。染心为业所拘，则境不能自在。净心无所挂碍，则境随心自如。天见宝严之地，而鱼见乃为窟宅；人见是清凉水，鬼见是脓河猛火，皆由业因差殊。
The crazy experiences of the past years have made me realize the phenomena that the objective environment is affected by the subjective heart (i.e. mind). Karma is the accumulation of behavioral habits of body, speech and heart, that is, the habits of body, speech and heart. Karma is created by the heart, and the environment changes with karma. The heart is maculate or immaculate, so the environment is self-sufficiency and being detained. The maculate heart is detained by karma, then environment can’t be self-sufficient. Immaculate heart has nothing to worry and hinder, then environment goes along heart as it is. God sees a precious majestic land, while fish see it as a ruined house; people see it as cool water, while ghosts see it as a pus river and fierce fire, all due to the difference of karmic reasons.

10.5-2 宿命通 Fate Through
二零一四年五月，我到Thurber Engineering Ltd工作。没几天，我就听到了这个工作是我以前Davroc的老板桫椤给我联系的。一个月后，工作和生活中，我又认为刘健君在背后和我做对了。有些工地的场景让我触景生情，偶尔感觉肚子里到处都在动，偶尔感觉肚子疼。这让我感到解决和刘健君的恩怨情仇已经迫在眉睫。
In May 2014, I started working at Thurber Engineering Ltd. A few days later, I heard that my former boss at Davroc, Sal Fasullo, had helped me for this job. A month later, at work and in life, I thought that Eve Liu was doing something behind my back. Some scenes at the construction site made me emotional, and sometimes I felt my stomach moving all over the place, and sometimes I felt a stomach-ache. This made me feel that it was urgent to resolve the gratitude resentment love and hatred disputes between Eve Liu and me.

我的情绪变得很不稳定，想起过去的高兴事就笑，又想起来过去的伤心事就流泪。一天，在公司的实验室里，我在检测材料样品，一个同事突然兴奋地从高处跳跑过我的背后。我大吃一惊，被吓得头发都立起来了，说话声音也变了。在那惊诧的一瞬间，我仿佛听见刘团长在另外一个房间里谈论我，在向别人介绍我在想什么。我回忆起了我约一岁时，刘团长为我蒙眼睛时的景象，回忆起了那时我和刘健君定亲的事（参见第一章的《娃娃婚约》）。
My mood became very unstable. I would laugh when I thought of happy affair in the past, and cry when I thought of sad affair in the past. One day, in the company's laboratory, I was testing material samples, and a colleague suddenly jumped from a high place excitedly and ran behind me. I was shocked, my hair stood up, and my voice changed. In that moment of surprise, I seemed to hear Troupe Liu talking about me in another room, introducing what I was thinking to others. I recalled the scene when he blindfolded me when I was about one year old and recalled the engagement between me and Eve Liu at that time (see “Children Marriage Contract" in Chapter 1).

后来，我仔细辨认，觉得那个声音不是刘团长的。我从小就在找他。在我六七岁的时候，我以为我奶奶的一个侄子是刘团长，我听到的声音就是他的声音。十几岁的时候，我发现我要找的人并不是他。那时，不知道为什么，我就是觉得自己在找一个人。后来，我一心想找一位在沈阳的大神级算命先生，并且拜他为师。1996 年，我遇到了刘健君，就知道了我要找的人是她爸爸（即刘团长）。但那时，我并不记得我在约一岁时已经和她订婚的事。我甚至不知道自己为什么要找一个人，要找谁，又怎么知道她爸爸就是我要找的人？我找她爸爸只是一种无意识的兴趣感觉。我是从和刘健君的谈话（参见7.5节）知道她爸爸懂佛教的。
Later, I carefully identified the voice and felt that it was not Troupe Leader Liu's. I have been looking for him since I was a child. When I was six or seven years old, I thought one of my grandmother's nephews was Troupe Leader Liu, and the voice I heard was his voice. When I grew up to a teenager, I found that the person I was looking for was not him. At that time, I didn’t know why, but I just felt that I was looking for someone. Later, I was determined to find a great fortune teller in Shenyang and worship him as my teacher. In 1996, I met Eve Liu and knew that the person I was looking for was her father (that is, Troupe Leader Liu). But at that time, I didn’t remember that I was engaged to her when I was about one year old. I didn’t even know why I was looking for someone, who I was looking for, and how did I know that her father was the person I was looking for? I was looking for her father just out of an unconscious interest. I knew that her father understood Buddhism from my conversation with Eve Liu (see Section 7.5).

注10.5-2 Note 10.5-2
回忆出了三岁之前的事，我就觉悟到了刘团长留给我的宿命任务，即完成此实验的《实验报告》。实验内容参见4.5《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》。这在佛教里叫宿命通。这很难，因为人在3岁左右时，随着语言能力的形成，记忆模式和记忆提取模式都发生了变化，正常的人都不能回忆出3岁以前的事；但在精神病人中回忆出三岁之前事的不罕见。
After recalling the affairs before my age of three, I realized the fate mission that Troupe Leader Liu had left for me, which was to complete the "Experimental Report". For the content of the experiment, please refer to section 4.5 "Newspaper News of Real Human Medical Experiments". This is called “Fate Through” in Buddhism. This is difficult because when people are about 3 years old, as language ability is formed, memory patterns and memory retrieval patterns change. Normal people cannot recall affairs before the age of 3; but it is not uncommon for mental patients to recall affairs before the age of three.

古墨西哥人用尖顶帽（有山的含义）来表示 “宿命通”的困难和重要意义（如图10.5）。图2是一位在地狱（即患有精神病）的特拉洛克（又名金童，美洲狮）。手中拖着个孩子，表示他回忆出了约一岁时，他的神父给他做肉眼通（参见第3章），使他患上了 “婴幼儿神经发育失调症” （如图4所示）。
Ancient Mexicans used pointed hat (with meaning of mountain) to represent the difficulty and significance of “Fate Through” (see Figure 10.5). Figure 2 shows Tlaloc (also known as Gold Boy, Jaguar) in hell (i.e. suffering from mental illness). He is holding a child in his hand, indicating that he recalls that when he was about one year old, his godfather made him “flesh eye through” (see chapter 3), which caused him to suffer from “infant neurodevelopmental disorder” (see Figure 4).

图3是雕像2的侧面。左面，特拉洛克在他神父的怀里取暖表示他接受了他的神父，接受了人神契约（参见16.2节）。右侧头顶着无字墓碑的人是古代的特拉洛克。特拉洛克在古代特拉洛克的怀里取暖，表示他已经意识到了自己是金童（即新的特拉洛克），发现了自己前世的足迹，知道了自己的宿命。
Figure 3 is a side view of statue 2. On the left, Tlaloc warms himself in the arms of his godfather, indicating that he has accepted his godfather and the contract between man and God (see Section 16.2). The person on the right with the wordless tombstone on his head is the ancient Tlaloc. Tlaloc warms himself in the arms of the ancient Tlaloc, indicating that he has realized that he is a Gold Boy (i.e. a new Tlaloc), has discovered the footprints of his previous life, and knows his fate.

10.5-3 更多证据 More Evidence
2014年6月，我决定第四次专程回国去找刘健君。回国前，我和朋友肖汉杰谈起了1996-1997年，我在东北大学时的事（参见8.4节）。那时他是东北大学机械系的老师。他惊讶地说： “哎呀！那时候我就听说你们研究生宿舍那儿有人琢磨人（注，义为上帝在打磨它选中的人）。十来年了，我都不知道。原来那个被琢磨的人就是你！你疯得和别人不一样！你回去，找着那帮人，把事情说清楚，病就好了。”
In June 2014, I decided to return to China for the fourth time to look for Eve Liu. Before returning to China, my friend Hanjie Xiao and I talked about my time at Northeastern University in 1996-1997 (see Section 8.4). At that time, he was a teacher in the Department of Mechanical Engineering at Northeastern University. He was surprised and said, "Oh! At that time, I heard that someone was polishing people (note, meaning that God was polishing the people had been chosen) in your graduate dormitory. It has been more than ten years, and I didn't know. It turns out that the person being polished is you! Your psychosis is different from others! Go back, find those people, explain the affair clearly, and your illness will be cured."

我回到沈阳父母家后，妈妈和妹妹帮我联系了沈阳炮兵学院刚卸任的王校长。他说我说的那位黄老师，即前文第7章中我和刘健君的介绍人，早就移民加拿大了，而且他早就过世了。王校长说，他们学校以前，就只有一位校长姓刘；我所说的刘校长（即刘团长）与他们学校的刘校长不符。人家是高级干部，情况不符，不能透漏消息。他还说，那位刘校长早就过世了，他没听说他的女儿拿了全额奖学金去美国读博士。他在这学校已经三十多年了，如果有这事，他应该听说了。王校长还说，我是被骗了，是别人冒充了他们的刘校长。
After I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, my mother and sister helped me contact the recently discharged Principal Wang of the Shenyang Artillery Academy. He said that the teacher Huang I mentioned, the introducer of Eve Liu and I in Chapter 7, had long since immigrated to Canada, and that he had long since passed away. Principal Wang said that their school had only one principal with the surname Liu before; the Principal Liu I mentioned (that is, Troupe Leader Liu) was not the same as the Principal Liu of their school. He was a senior cadre, and the situation did not match, so the news could not be disclosed. He also said that Principal Liu had long since passed away, and he had not heard that his daughter had received a full scholarship to study for a doctorate in the United States. He had been in this school for more than 30 years, and if this had happened, he should have heard about it. Principal Wang also said that I was deceived, and that someone else had impersonated their Principal Liu.

10.5-4 部分核实了我的回忆录Partially Verified my Memoirs
我记得第二章，崔凤龙给我讲故事的时候，说九舅给常公的药中（参见2.3节《桃花劫之二》），有一种药的主要成分是白色的石头。我去到了辽宁中医院，找了位教授级中医医生。那位女教授，四十多岁，听完了我对自己病的描述和我所询问的大部分是石头的中药，她笑了，说：“那是一个古方，叫参苓白术散，正合适你的病症。不过药里面没有石头，只是人们听故事，都那么说。里面有一味药，难溶于水，沉淀，吃起来像似石粉似的。” 
I remember in Chapter 2, when Uncle Dragon told me a story, he said that among the medicines that Ninth Uncle gave to Constant Fair (see Section 2.3 "Peach Flower Catastrophe 2"), there was a medicine whose main ingredient was white stone. I went to Liaoning Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital and found a professor-level Chinese medicine doctor. The female professor, who was in her forties, listened to my description of my illness and the Chinese medicines that were mostly stone. She smiled and said, "That is an ancient prescription called Shenling Baizhu San, which is just suitable for your illness. But there is no stone in the medicine, just people heard the story and said so. There is a medicine in it that is difficult to dissolve in water, precipitates, and tastes like stone powder."

写回忆录时，我注意到了1996年冬（参见8.3节），黄老师在谈刘团长促成我和刘健君婚姻的计划时，他帮我憧憬未来，提到了上文的王校长，是个大个子，是当时沈阳炮兵学院的组织部长。我和王校长谈话时，他自己介绍说，“1996年时，我是组织部长，他们去东北大学读研究生，还是我联系的呢。” 这和当时黄老师讲的一样。而且，黄老师说了他后面三、四任的校长继承人，就有我见到过的这位王校长。这继承人的安排正是刘团长的办事风格。
When I was writing my memoirs, I noticed that in the winter of 1996 (see Section 8.3), when Teacher Huang was talking about the plan of Eve Liu and I to get married, he helped me look forward to the future and mentioned Principal Wang mentioned above, a big man who was the Organization Minister of Shenyang Artillery Academy at that time. When I talked to Principal Wang, he introduced himself, saying, "In 1996, I was the Organization Minister. They went to Northeastern University for graduate studies, and it was me who contacted for them." This is the same as what Teacher Huang said at the time. Moreover, Teacher Huang mentioned that the three or four successors to the president after him included Principal Wang, whom I had met. The arrangement of this successor is exactly the working style of Troupe Leader Liu.

黄老师移民来了加拿大，这事和前文9.3节 《黑社会帮我打架》经历的怪事对应了。也就是说，那些怪事是黄老师在背后做的。
Teacher Huang immigrated to Canada, which corresponds to the strange affairs that happened in Section 9.3 of the previous article, "Mafia Fight for Me". In other words, those strange affairs were done by Teacher Huang behind the scenes.

10.5-5 结论 Conclusion
我就是4.5节《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》中男孩儿组中的一员；在1996年秋，8.2节 《死不瞑目》中，被刘团长最终选中了作为实验中的男孩儿。
I am one of the boys in the boy group in section 4.5 “Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiment”; and in the fall of 1996, in section 8.2 "Die with Eyes Open", was ultimately chosen by Troupe Leader Liu to be the boy in the experiment.

10.6 治疗心理疾病的原则 Principles of Curing Mental Illness
我的家庭医生大卫博士，台湾人，跟踪着我的病情发展。约在2013年，他对我说： “我虽然不是精神病专业的，但我喜欢精神病学，现在我也常看他们的论文，跟随着精神病研究的发展。我觉得我有资格对你的病给你一个总的说法。”
My family doctor, Dr. David, a Taiwanese, followed my disease progression. In 2013, he told me, “Although I am not a psychiatrist, I like psychiatry. Now I often read their papers and follow the development of psychiatric research. I think I am qualified to give you a general statement about your disease.”

大卫博士说： “我都听得很清楚，你的病的治疗办法就是：你回国，找着你的仇家，和解，把那些陈芝麻、烂谷子的事能解决多少，就解决多少。你那些事，如果发生在北美，人家那些精神科的医生，一听，如果认为是那么回事。他们就帮你找要找的人，撮合你们见面和谈。你这点儿事儿，他们很快就能办来。他们北美有一个系统，可好了。咱说这个没用，再好也用不上，因为你的事发生在中国，就只能靠你自己了。”
Dr. David said, "I heard it all very clearly. The treatment for your illness is: go back to China, find your enemies, reconcile with them, and resolve as many of those old issues as you can. If your issues happened in North America, once the psychiatrists there heard about it and thought it was the case, they would help you find the people you were looking for and bring you together for a meeting and a talk. They can do your job very quickly. They have a great system in North America. We say it's useless, no matter how good it is, because your issues happened in China, so you can only rely on yourself."

大卫博士继续说：“剩下来的事，就是走一步，看一步；就是对付。精神病能引起很多别的病；你的未来不可预料，所以这是最佳方案。什么意思？我给你举例说。你现在的胃肠不好。胃肠是最能体现情感的器官。你过去有那样的情感经历，你的胃肠有现在的表现，不奇怪，不说是必然的，也可以说是精神病的伴生病。对付的办法，你现在多喝水。喝水可真是个好办法！水多，就把那些有刺激性的胃肠分泌物冲淡了，减小了刺激性分泌物的腐蚀性。如果你喝够了，不想多喝水了，咱就全面检查，找出是哪一种刺激物让你疼得受不了。配药，像是酸碱综合似的，用药把那种有刺激的分泌物的刺激性去除掉。等到你吃药吃够了，不想吃药了，咱就动手术，用刀把那个坏器官割掉。你得明白：现在的医疗水平，药物不能使坏器官变好。”
Dr. David continued, "The rest is to take one step at a time and see what happens. Mental illness can cause many other diseases. Your future is unpredictable, so this is the best option. What does it mean? Let me give you an example. Your stomach and intestines are not in good condition now. The stomach and intestines are the organs that best reflect emotions. You had such emotional experiences in the past, and your stomach and intestines have the current performance. It is not surprising. It is not inevitable, but it can be said to be a comorbidity of mental illness. The way to deal with it is to drink more water now. Drinking water is really a good way! More water can dilute those irritating gastrointestinal secretions and reduce the corrosiveness of irritating secretions. If you have drunk enough and don't want to drink more water, we will have a comprehensive examination to find out which irritant is causing you unbearable pain. Prescription, like acid-base synthesis, uses medicine to remove the irritation of the irritating secretions. When you have taken enough medicine and don't want to take medicine anymore, we will perform surgery and use a knife to cut off the bad organ. You have to understand with the current medical level, medicine cannot make bad organs better."

我听了之后感到绝望！即便是动手术把我的肚子都挖空了，也解决不了我与刘健君以及她父亲的恩怨情仇。
I felt despair after hearing that! Even if I had surgery to dig my belly empty, it wouldn't solve my Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred against Eve Liu and her father.

2 治疗心理疾病的原则 Principles of Curing Mental Illness
在2014年，我写完了《卢岩的回忆录》后，确立了治疗精神病的三条原则。
1. 我的病要从过去54年，现在和未来综合考虑，因为无意识和前意识没有前后顺序性和时间性，还因为无意识的无覆性和异熟性（参见第11.4.5节《识蕴》和 第11.6.1节《异熟果》）。
In 2014, after I wrote “Luyan’s Memoirs”, I established three principles for treating mental illness.
 First, my illness needs to be considered comprehensively from the perspective of the past 54 years, the present and the future, because the unconscious and the preconscious have no sequence and time, also because of the non-coverable nature and mutant nature of unconsciousness (see Section 11.4.5, "Sense Node" and Section 11.6.1, "Mutant Fruit").

2. 心的本质是事；心病也叫恩怨情仇病。其本质是不正当的人际和社会关系，治疗就是修补人际或社会关系。无意识只处理现量（参见11.4.5节《八识与三量的关系》），就是刘健君说的，“人不见面，病治不好”（参见7.5节） 的原因。所以我要找到刘健君，和她面对面地公平解决我，她，和她爸爸三人之间的恩怨情仇。
Second, the essence of the heart (i.e. mind) is affair; mental illness is also called “gratitude resentment love and hatred illness”. Its essence is improper interpersonal and social relationships and treatment is to repair interpersonal or social relationships. The unconscious only deals with “Present Quantities” (see Section 11.4.5 "The Relationship between Eight Consciousnesses and Three Quantities"), which is why Eve Liu said, "If people don't meet, the disease can't be cured" (see Section 7.5). So, I will find Eve Liu and face to face with her to fairly resolve the “gratitude resentment love and hatred disputes” between me, her, and her father.

3. 当痛苦的经历有了意义，痛苦就消失了。这是现代心理学的理论；古人也是这么认为的，即思想和感情跟着意义走。根据这一原理，我要写好此《灵魂转世的实验报告》，与众生共享刘团长，刘健君和我卢岩，我们三人对古代《桃花劫》（参见2.1节）的研究成果，流传后世，让刘团长死得其所，千古流芳。
Third, when painful experiences have significances, the pain disappears. This is the theory of modern psychology; the ancients also thought so, that is, thoughts and feelings follow meanings. According to this principle, I will write this “Reincarnation Experimental Report” to commonwealth with all sentient beings the research results of the ancient story “Peach Flower Catastrophe” (see section 2.1) by the three of us, Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu, and me, Adam Luyan, to pass it on to the future generations, so that Troupe Leader Liu's sacrifice will be well deserved and will be honored for eternity.

3阻碍精神病治疗的因素Impediment to Treat Mental Disorder
这个前女朋友（参见8.7节《出故事的人》）给我的两条关于精神病治疗的忠告是正确的。第一，不要相信医院的精神病医生，85-95%的精神病医生不懂精神病。第二，自己买书看，自己治疗。“85-95%的精神病医生不懂精神病” 这个说法，我小时候，崔凤龙姨父也对我说过多次。我在查找精神病治疗方法的时候发现，心理学书中只要说到精神病的治疗，就会推荐我前一小节所说的治疗原则。
The two clauses of advice this ex-girlfriend (see Section 8.7, "The Person Who Produces Stories") gave me about mental illness treatment are correct. First, do not trust the psychiatrists in the hospital; 85-95% of psychiatrists do not understand mental illness. Second, buy books and treat yourself. "85-95% of psychiatrists do not understand mental illness" was something my Uncle Dragon told me many times when I was a child. When I was looking for treatment methods for mental illness, I found that whenever psychology books talked about the treatment of mental illness, they would recommend the treatment principles I mentioned in the previous section.

我在治疗自己的心理疾病的过程中，最困难的就是全面推翻《美国精神病手册》（DSM-5）。《美国精神病手册》是美国数千精神病专家的集体作品，怎么错了呢！？《手册》是基于对数千精神病医生诊断和治疗措施的统计而制定的标准和给出建议，而不是基于心理学原理和临床治疗效果而给出建议。他们怎么可能不根据治疗措施产生的效果而决定治疗措施是否正确呢！？因为根据他们给出的治疗措施，找不到一例满意的治疗效果。他们服务于歌利王，不服务于精神病人。
The most difficult part of my treatment of my mental illness was to completely overturn the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). The DSM-5 is the collective work of thousands of American psychiatrists. How could it be wrong? The DSM-5 is based on the statistics of the diagnosis and treatment measures of thousands of psychiatrists, rather than the psychological principles and clinical treatment effects. How could they not decide whether the treatment measures are correct based on the effects they produce? Because there is no satisfactory treatment effect based on their treatment measures. They serve Song-Profit Kings, not the mentally ill.

10.7 宿命智 Fate Intelligence
2014年夏，由于作土建工作让我触景生情，对我的刺激太大，我决定放弃建筑职业，就到一家华人饭店做送餐的工作了。父母兄妹看了我的回忆录后，不相信，人怎么能回忆起那么小时候的事！他们认为我混淆了幻想经历和真实的经历。
我意识到了，我回忆出了三岁前的事，证明了宿命通有可能存在；但导致宿命通的宿命智是什么？可靠吗？我百思不得其解。
In the summer of 2014, because the civil engineering work made me feel emotional, it was too stimulating for me, so I decided to give up the construction career and work as a waiter in a Chinese restaurant. After reading my memoirs, my parents and siblings didn't believe it. How could a person recall things from such a young age! They thought I confused my fantasy experiences with real experiences.
I realized that I could recall things that happened before I was three years old, proving that “Fate Through” is possible. But what is the fate-intelligence that leads to fate-through? Is it reliable? I was puzzled.

10.7-2 宿命智 Fate Intelligence
2016年春，我在复读自己的回忆录时发现，1991年崔凤龙姨父给我留遗嘱时（参见4.10节），他是表演给我看的，还说我过目不忘。我意识到了刘团长知道我是个图像思维型的人，查找了现代心理学图像思维型人的特质。
In the spring of 2016, I was re-reading my memoirs and realized that when Aunt Cui Fenglong left me a will in 1991 (see section 4.10), he was acting it out for me and said that I could “not forget passing through my eyes”. I realized that Troupe Leader Liu knew that I am an image-thinker, looking up the modern psychological image-thinker trait.

现代的心理学讲，新生儿在语言能力形成之前，都是图像思维模式，比如理解妈妈的笑脸，动作和情绪等。渐渐地，伴随着语言的行成，思维模式、记忆模式、记忆提取模式都发生了改变。一般来说，人三岁后都是用语言进行基本思维的，但还是可以分成三种类型：（1）图像思维型，人群中占30%；（2）文字思维型，人群中占25%；（3）前两种的混合型，人群中占45%。动感（Kinesthetic）思维型人和其它的思维方式在人群中的占比少于1%。
According to modern psychology, before newborns develop language skills, they use image thinking, such as understanding their mother's smile, movements, and emotions. Gradually, as language is formed, thinking patterns, memory patterns, and memory retrieval patterns all change. People use language for basic thinking after the age of three, but they can still be divided into three types: (1) image thinking type, accounting for 30% of the population; (2) text thinking type, accounting for 25% of the population; (3) a mixture of the first two types, accounting for 45% of the population. Kinesthetic thinking type and other thinking styles account for less than 1% of the population.

图像思维型人的思维更依赖于视觉。由于图像记忆节省记忆体，可以说这种人有用不完的记忆体，可以记忆从出生到70岁所经历的全部事。记忆的提取模式简单，提取的范围也宽。迁徙动物的领头者和洄游的鱼都是图像思维模式。
People with image thinking are more dependent on vision. Since image memory saves memory, it can be said that such people have endless memory and can remember everything they have experienced from birth to 70 years old. The memory retrieval mode is simple, and the range of retrieval is wide. The leader of migrating animals and migratory fish are both images thinking models.

文字思维型的人更依赖于听觉。由于这种记忆的存储方式和记忆的提取方式复杂，所以相对于图像思维型人来说，长期记忆的有效时间短，记忆被提取的范围也小。
People with text-based thinking are more dependent on hearing. Because the storage and retrieval methods of this type of memory are complex, the effective time of long-term memory is shorter, and the range of memory retrieval is smaller than that of people with image-based thinking.

我得出了结论，图像思维模式是宿命智的潜能。但这种宿命智的潜能有多大程度，在真实生活中是否可以信赖？我的疑问是，刘团长这实验成功的概率是多少？他是否在用他自己和我的生命开玩笑！？
I concluded that the image thinking mode is the potential of Fate Intelligence. But how big is the potential of this Fate Intelligence, and can it be trusted in real life? My question is, what is the probability of success of Troupe Leader Liu's experiment? Is he kidding himself and my life!?

10.7-3 宿命是性格使然 Fate is Formed from Personality
我回忆起了我9岁时，我奶奶曾经对我做过的事。一次奶奶看着我，突然嚎叫：“这孩子（在说我）这么老实，将来可怎么活！” 她和我大伯因此吵起来了。大伯走后，奶奶呸的一声，吓得我一跳，她叨咕：“这点儿事都看不明白，还自认为聪明呢！” 对我说：“你的命运，奶奶看得清清楚楚！是这么回事，你给我记住了！”
I recalled what my grandmother did to me when I was 9 years old. One time, my grandmother looked at me and suddenly howled: "This child (talking about me) is so honest, how will he live in the future!" She and my uncle quarreled about this. After my uncle left, my grandmother made a sound of "Pooh", which scared me. She muttered: "You can't understand such a small thing, but you still think you are smart!" She said to me: "Your fate is clearly seen by your grandmother! This is what happened, you remember it!"

奶奶说：“你胆子小，还小心眼儿，挨欺负了，不敢和人家打架。可你还记着，自己想起来就生气。时间长了，你就病了。你病了，就死了也没什么！可你这种人，临死前还能明白过来：我是受谁谁的欺负，所以我病了，我是被欺负死的！你想报仇，可你要死了，活不成了，怎么报仇！像你这种人，就恨自己，就折磨自己。你能用刀割自己的肉，戳瞎自己的眼睛！那是最可怕的死法，你的命运就是这样！这种命自古就有，老辈的人们都看得好好的。这点道理你大爷都看不明白！”
Grandma said: "You are timid and narrow-minded. You dare not fight with others when you are bullied. But you still remember it and get angry when you think about it. After a long time, you will get sick. If you are sick, it doesn't matter if you die! But people like you can understand before they die: I was bullied by someone, so I got sick, I was bullied to death! You want revenge, but you are going to die, you can't live anymore, how can you take revenge! People like you hate yourself and torture yourself. You can cut your own flesh with a knife and poke out your own eyes! That is the most terrible way to die, and this is your fate! This kind of fate has existed since ancient times, and the older generation see it clearly. Your uncle can't understand this little theory!"

奶奶说：“你的命有个解法，奶奶告诉你，‘只要有一口气在，你别折磨自己，你去找仇人报仇’。你病了，你就是爬，也要爬到仇人家，和他打架；要死，死在仇人家里。你命运的解法就是坚持报仇；打，你就能活；放弃了报仇，你就死了。”
Grandma said, "There is a solution to your fate. Grandma tells you, 'As long as you have a breath left, don't torture yourself, go find your enemy and take revenge.' If you are sick, you must crawl to your enemy's house and fight him; if you want to die, die in your enemy's house. The solution to your fate is to insist on revenge; if you fight, you will live, if you give up revenge, you will die."

奶奶说：“老辈子人说，这人那，就没谁想整死谁。你坚持找仇人报仇；人家就明白了，就让你出气了。你也得明白，最终还是要和解。矛盾被公平地解决了，你的病就好了。这就是你命运的解法。如果你知道了，别让人家欺负着，你就不生病了，那不更好么！”
Grandma said, "The old people said that no one wants to kill anyone. You insist on seeking revenge on your enemies; they will understand and let you vent your anger. You also must understand that you still must reconcile in the end. The conflict is resolved fairly, and your illness will be cured. This is the solution to your fate. If you know this, don't let others bully you, and you won't get sick. Isn't that better!"

2015年，我想起了奶奶说的这话，她说对了，我的病就是让刘健君父女俩给欺负了，形成的。那时，奶奶的话鼓励着我，坚持找刘健君讨回公道。那我奶奶是怎么看出我的命运的呢？
In 2015, I remembered what my grandmother said. She was right. My illness was caused by the bullying of Troupe Leader Liu and his daughter. At that time, my grandmother's words encouraged me to insist on seeking justice from Eve Liu. So how did my grandmother see my fate?

奶奶说：“你的命运就是这样，都是我的错！说起来，你爸去和你妈相亲，还是我带他去的呢。到你姥姥家的那个大岗子，一进门，我就看出来了：一家子的红脸关公。回来的路上，我对你爸说：凤玲（我妈）这孩子模样儿不丑，能说会笑，还是个老实人。你爸爸就信我了。你说当时，我怎么就没想想：父母都是老实人，生的孩子可怎么活！”
Grandma said, "Your fate is like this. It's all my fault! To be honest, I was the one who took your dad to the blind date with your mom. When we got to your grandma's house, I saw it as soon as I walked in: a family of red-faced Guan Gongs. On the way back, I said to your dad: Fengling (my mom) is not ugly, she can talk and laugh and is an honest person. Your dad believed me. You know, at that time, why didn't I think ‘both parents are honest people, how can their child live!’"

10.8 神的外貌 Godly Appearances
前文述说了图像记忆和图像思维模式是宿命通的潜在资质，我在精神病中情绪剧烈迅速变化激发出了我三岁以前的记忆，使我获得了上帝七种神通之一的宿命通。而且我还看到了一本现代心理学书中明确指出，正常人能回忆出三岁之前事的还没发现。刘团长怎么知道我一定会疯？我疯病的起因是什么？现代精神病学还不知道精神病的起因。
The previous articles described image memory and image thinking patterns are potential qualifications for “fate through” (see section 10.5). The rapid and drastic changes in my emotions during my mental illness triggered my memories before the age of three, which enabled me to obtain the “fate through”, one of the seven divine powers of God. Moreover, I also saw a modern psychology book clearly stating that normal people who can recall affairs before the age of three have not yet been found. How did Troupe Leader Liu know that I would go crazy? What is the cause of my psychosis? Modern psychiatry does not know the cause of mental illness yet.

我在一次复读第13.1.1节《地狱趣》，注意到了五逆罪是对心理机制的反操作，但我对 “出身神身血即堕地狱”一条不理解。我忽然想起了小时候崔凤龙姨父给我讲过的《精神病入门病例》（参见4.8节）：甲人在路上，看见对面走来一个人，脸上流着血，匆匆忙忙地从集市上离开。当时，甲人有点儿吃惊，但没在意。走过去后，他忽然想：“哎呀！刚才那个人好像认识。” 甲人却想不起来那人是谁，或者在哪儿见过。过了几天，甲人听说那个脸上流血的人死了，就感觉不舒服。几天后，甲人病了。
Once, I was rereading Section 13.1.1 "Hell Interest" and noticed that the “Five Crimes of Anti” are the reverse operations of the psychological mechanism, but I didn't understand the clause “Bleeding God’s body, instantly fall into hell”. I suddenly remembered that Uncle Dragon told me the story of "Introductory Case to Mental Illness” (see section 4.8). On the way, Man A saw a man walking on the opposite side, with blood on his face, hurrying away from the market. At that time, Man A had a small shock, but he didn't care. When he walked over, suddenly thought, "Oh! That person seems to know him." But “Man A” couldn't remember who he was, or where he had seen him. A few days later, when Man A heard that the man with blood on his face had died, he felt unwell. A few days later, Man A fell ill.

我意识到了这就是“出神身血即堕地狱”的案例。那个脸上流血的人具有神的外貌，而神的外貌是大种。大种是人脑思维机制中的默认模特（亦作种子），被人脑用来派生制造其它的同类事物。当大种有变化时，依其所造的一切都随之而变。也就是说甲人看见了“神的脸上流着血”，就更改了甲人思维机制中的人的大种（即人的默认模特），从而使得甲人思想中的许多人脸上流血了，即患了神经错乱（亦作堕入了地狱）。
I realized that this is a case of “Bleeding God’s body, instantly fall into hell”. The man with the bleeding face had the appearance of God, and the appearance of God is the “big seed”. The “big seed” is the default model (also known as seed) in the human brain's thinking mechanism, which is used by the human brain to derive and create other similar things. When the “big seed” changes, everything created by it changes accordingly. In other words, when Person A saw "God's face bleeding", the “big seed” of people in Person A's thinking mechanism (that is, the default model of people) was changed, so that many people in Person A's mind had bleeding faces, that is, Person A suffered from mental disorders (also known as falling into hell).

10.8-2 什么是思维机制中的默认模特或种子？What is the Default Model or Seed in Mind Mechanism?
人脑思维在处理客观事物的过程中，总是自主地简化客观对象，抽取各类默认模特（佛教中称作种子），如人、蝴蝶、树等。然后以此默认模特来认知其它同类个体。比如女人，我们看见个体女人会描述大眼睛，高鼻梁，高个子，有点儿瘦等。这些描述都是人脑通过把对方和自己思维机制里的默认女人模特进行比较而采集出的特征，以此默认女人模特（或说女人种，女神）来认知对向，乃至所有的女人。
When dealing with objective things, the human brain always simplifies the objective objects autonomously and extracts various default models (called seeds in Buddhism), such as man, butterfly, tree, etc. Then, it uses this default model to recognize other individuals of the same kind. For example, when we see a woman, we may describe her as having big eyes, a high nose bridge, tall stature, and a little thin. These descriptions are all features collected by the human brain by comparing the other party with the default female model (or saying seed woman, goddess) in its own thinking mechanism, and mind uses this default woman model to recognize the other party, or even all women.

此中，默认的女人模特就是女人的定义，亦作女神。人脑通过女神这个默认模特来建立其它的女人，也就是说所有的个体女人都是从女神派生出来的，即女神是女人的种子, 能生出其它女人。
Here, the default model of woman is the definition of woman, also known as goddess. The human brain uses the default model of goddess to establish other women, that is, all individual women are derived from goddess, that is, goddess is the seed of woman, which can give birth to other women. Similarly, we can conclude that the male god is the seed of man, from which all similar men can be derived; the snake god is the seed of snake, from which other snakes can be derived; the tree god is the seed of tree, from which many trees can be produced, and so on.

现实生活中就有和男神女神长的类似的人，就可能会有与神类似的性质。现代心理学描述这种人的长相为 “可以藏在人群里的人” ，比如，他是这种长相，你跟他不熟。他在前面跑，你在后面追他。路边有几个人，他转身往那几个人中一站，你就找不着他了。
In real life, there are people who look like god and goddess, so they may have similar qualities to god. Modern psychology describes the appearance of such people as "people who can hide in the crowd". For example, he looks like God, and you are not familiar with him. He runs in front of you, and you chase him from behind. There are a few people on the side of the road, and he turns around and stands among them, then you can't find him.

前段文字表明，神的外貌，没有特征，是无记性的。你看见他了，知道他是个男人，有些面熟；可离开他后，很快你就想不起来他的长相了。华人的佛经里是这样描述女神的：不高不矮，不胖不瘦，不黑不白，眼睛不大不小，鼻梁不高不低，体温冬暖夏凉，不笑不说话，欲说话先笑。家里来客人了，出迎在先，进屋在后；进屋之后，后坐先起。
The previous paragraph shows that God's appearance is featureless and immemorial. You see him and know he is a man and looks familiar; but after you leave him, you soon can't remember what he looks like. Chinese Buddhist scriptures describe the goddess like this: neither tall nor short, neither fat nor thin, neither black nor white, eyes neither big nor small, nose bridge neither high nor low, body temperature warm in winter and cool in summer, doesn’t laugh doesn’t speak, laughs first before she speaks. When a guest comes, she greets at front and enters the house behind; after entering the room, sits down later and stands up the first.

为什么女神总是笑！？幸福欢乐的玉女是女神，悲伤哭泣的玉女是殃。另外，女神的外貌会因为民族，地域和历史时期的不同而有差异。读者可以想象，华人女神的外貌和阿拉伯女神会有差别。
Why does Goddess always laugh!? A happy or joyful Jade Girl (i.e. Goddess, Eve) is a goddess, and a sad or weeping Jade Girl is a Misfortune. In addition, the appearances of goddesses may vary according to ethnicities, regions, and historical periods. Readers can imagine that the appearance of Chinese goddess would be different from that of Arabian goddess.

10.8-3 案例二 Case 2
我回忆起了小时候，妈妈给我讲的稀罕事。她去我二姨家回来，非常兴奋，说：“我遇见你二姨家小二，你二哥了，我没认出来他。他说话，我听到他的声音，才认出他来了，吓了一跳！他瘦了体重的三分之一，都脱相了！”
我惊讶地问：“哎呀！他得啥病了？现在怎么样了？”
妈妈回答：“说了你也不信！他遭殃了！”
I recalled the rare affair my mother told me when I was a child. She came back from my second aunt's house and was very excited. She said, "I met your second aunt's Little Second, your second brother. I didn't recognize him. When he spoke and I heard his voice, I and was shocked, recognized him. He lost one-third of his body weight and looked completely different!"
I asked in surprise: "Oh my! What's wrong with him? How is he now?"
My mother replied: "You wouldn't believe it even if I told you! He encountered a Misfortune!"

我听不懂妈妈在说什么呢！妈妈解释说：“刚开始我也不信，但看他瘦成了那样儿！不信也不行啊！这是你二哥他自己说的。他去上班的路上，常常在一个老年人聚集的地方看见一个老头儿，面熟，像是认识似的，笑眯眯的。他觉得那老头儿挺好，和蔼可亲，就偶尔和他打个招呼，说句话。一天，他又路过那儿，那老头儿死了，那家在发丧呢。你二哥他没参加过丧礼，好奇，就进去看了看。回来两天后，就病了，吃不下饭，睡不着觉，瘦掉了体重的三分之一。沈阳、鞍山的大医院他都去过了，做了很多检查。结果都是什么病也没有；谁也解释不了他是怎么了。他就只能回家等死了。没办法了，你二姨就去了一个大神家。那个大神是个女的。你二姨才说几句，人家就说了：他遭殃了！对人家无礼了；你得这么办。大神让你二哥给人家赔礼道歉去！那个大神说，人呼吸到最后一口气的时候是殃。”
I didn't understand what my mother was saying! My mother explained, "I didn't believe it at first, but when I saw how thin he was, I couldn't help but believe it! This is what your second brother said himself. On his way to work, he often saw an old man in a place where elderly people gathered. He looked familiar and smiled as if he knew him. He thought the old man was very nice and amiable, so he would occasionally say hello to him and talk to him. One day, he passed by there again, and the old man had died, and the family was holding a funeral. Your second brother had never attended a funeral, so he was curious and went in to look. Two days after he came back, he fell ill. He couldn't eat and sleep, lost one-third of his body weight. He went to major hospitals in Shenyang and Anshan and underwent many tests. The results showed that he had no disease; no one could explain what happened to him. He could only go home and wait to die. There was no other way, so your second aunt went to a big god's house. The big god is a woman. Your second aunt had just said a few words, and the big goddess said: He encountered a Misfortune! He was rude to it; you must do this. The big goddess asked your second brother to apologize to the old man! The big goddess said that when a man takes his last breath, it is a Misfortune. "

妈妈说：“好歹！这也是有了个希望。他们就按照大神说的买了猪头和水果等东西，到那老头儿的坟前上供。按照大神的说法，磕头道歉后，你二哥要绕着坟走三圈，一边走，一边叨咕着给人家道歉。那时候，你二哥都走不动了。俩人搀着他，走了三圈。你二哥他自己说的，走到第三圈的时候，他感觉出了一身汗。三圈走完了，他的病就好了70%。到家了，病就好了，前后不到两个小时，跟正常人一样了。当然，他还是那么瘦。”
Mom said, "At least there is hope. They bought pig head, fruits and other things as the goddess said, and went to commonwealth to the old man's grave. According to the goddess’ sayings, after kowtowed and apologized, your second brother had to walk around the grave three rounds, mumbling apologies as he walked. At that time, your second brother couldn't walk anymore. Two people supported him and walked three rounds. Your second brother said that when he walked the third rounds, he felt sweaty. After walking three rounds, his illness was 70% cured. When he got home, his illness was cured. It took less than two hours, and he was the same as a normal person. Of course, he was still so thin."

10.8-4 我的病因 The Cause of My Illness
我的精神病的起因是和女神刘健君吵架，把女神气哭了；也就是我冒犯了女神，犯了忤逆罪。所以我当时就病了（参见7.3节《相亲》）。
The cause of my mental illness was that I had a quarrel with Goddess Eve Liu, which made her cry; that is, I offended Goddess and committed the “Crime of Anti” (see section 13.1.1). So, I became ill at that time (see Section 7.3 "Blind Date").

10.9 上帝的三和合 Godly Trinity
这本《回忆录》就是此真人医学实验（参见4.5节）的《实验报告》。《报纸新闻中》还说此实验也研究灵魂转世是怎么回事，所以我还要写灵魂转世的实验报告，也就是我要为刘团长的无字墓碑写墓志铭，即《死亡之书》。为了使读者容易读懂《死亡之书》，本书收集了五部金童和玉女的故事：一，桃花劫，参见2.1节；二，卢岩的回忆录，参见1至10章；三，鹿乘教，参见15.2节；四，羊乘教，参见15.3节；五，墨西哥法典（又名无字天书），参见第18章。
The memoirs are the “Experiment Report” of this real-life medical experiment (see Section 4.5). The “Newspaper News” also said that the experiment also studies the reincarnation of souls, so I should also write a report on the reincarnation of souls, that is, I write an epitaph for the wordless tombstone of Troupe Leader Liu, i.e., Book of Death. To make it easier for readers to understand the Book of Death, this book collects five stories about gold boy and jade girl. 1. Peach Flower Catastrophe, see Section 2.1; 2. Luyan’s Memoirs, see Chapters 1 to 10; 3. Deer Vehicle Religion, see Section 15.2; 4. Goat Vehicle Religion, see Section 15.3; 5. Mexican Codex (also known as the Wordless Sky Book), see Chapter 18.

传说，雷音在他的色究竟天琉璃宫中用金刚萨陲击碎了人的灵魂之石，设计出了睚眦（金童）和磨牙（玉女）（如图10.9-1所示；参见15.3节《人天果》）。我还没找到刘健君，没看过雷音的设计。为了继续本书的创作，我自己设计了一对儿金童和玉女的模型。
Legend has it that Thor designed Tanngnjóstr (Gold Boy) and Tanngrisnir (Jade Girl; shown in Fig. 10.9-1; cf. section 15.3) by shattering the stone of the human soul with his “philosopher-stone sentient hammer” in his Diamond Palace at “Color Finalization Sky”. I have yet to find Eve Liu and see Thor's design. To continue with the book, I have designed my own model of the pair of Gold Boy and Jade Girl.

 
插图10.9-1-1显示了雷音的设计。图中的六个凸起代表眼识、耳识、鼻识、舌识、身识、和意识。中间的主体部分代表人的灵魂之石，被雷音砸成了三块。左边的部分代表觉（梵语佛），代表人能够直接感知的事物，代表无意识的污染部分，佛教中称作阿赖耶识，英语中称作亚当识。雷音根据这部分的特质设计出了山羊睚眦（即金童）。此部分是业的积聚体，故定义为黑色。
Illustration 10.9-1-1 shows the Thor’s design. The six projections in the figure represent eye-sense, ear-sense, nose-sense, tongue-sense, body-sense, and intent-sense (i.e., consciousness). The main part in the center represents the stone of the human soul, smashed into three pieces by Thor. The part on the left represents Perception (Buddha in Pali), which represents what a person can perceive directly, represents the contaminated part of the unconscious, known as the Alaya in Buddhism and the Adam-sense in English. Thor designed the goat Tanngnjóstr (aka. gold boy) based on the traits of this part. This part is the accumulation of karma and is therefore defined as black.

图1右边代表前意识，佛教中称作末娜识，英语中称作夏娃识。因为前意识能够润色善恶美丑，赋予万物生命和意义，所以在佛教中被称作众生，欧洲人称作众生之母。雷音根据夏娃识的特质设计出了山羊磨牙（即玉女），并且定义为绿色。
The right side of Figure 1 represents pre-consciousness, which is called Mana-sense in Buddhism and Eve-sense in English. Because the pre-consciousness can embellish good, evil, beauty and ugliness, and give life and meaning to all things, it is known as all sentients in Buddhism, and the Europeans call it the mother of all living beings. Thor designed the goat Tanngrisnir (aka. Jade Girl) based on the traits of Eve-sense and defined it as green.

图1中亚当识和夏娃识之间的空隙代表无意识的纯净部分。从这部分的特性，雷音设计出了神父，也就是雷音他自己。图1中亚当识和夏娃识的 “相望” 是 “集起（参见14.1节）” 的因缘。两只山羊（即睚眦和磨牙）的相望是金童和玉女的姻缘。金童义为要造出金童，需要花费和他体重相同的黄金。玉女义为要造出玉女，要花费和她体重相同的玉石。
Figure 1 The gap between Adam-sense and Eve-sense represents the immaculate part of the unconscious. From the characterization of this part, Thor designed the Godfather, Thor himself. The “looking at each other” of Adam-sense and Eve-sense in Figure 1 is the reason-factor of “Aggregate Arousal” (cf. v. 14.1). The look of the two goats (i.e., Tanngnjóstr and Tanngrisnir) is the cause of the marriage of the gold boy and the jade girl. The meaning of "gold boy" is that to create a gold boy, one needs to spend gold equal to his weight. The meaning of "jade girl" is that to create a jade girl, one needs to spend jade equal to her weight.

10.9-2 金童的特质 Gold Boy's Traits 
本节接下来讨论雷音如何给亚当识和夏娃识穿上了人皮，使他们变成了男人和女人。金童的特质是由无意识污染部分（即亚当识）的特征转换变性而来。无意识自是自果。神识和亚当识是一位法。在神位上，金童是神的灵魂转世，亦作上帝之子，其本质是法尘、是身土，是觉，所以金童就是佛教所说的佛，释迦摩尼。佛陀是梵语，觉义，感知义。
The next part of this section discusses how Thor puts human skin on Adam-sense and Eve-sense, turning them into man and woman. The traits of the Gold Boy are transformed and denatured from the traits of the contaminated part of the unconscious (i.e., Adam-sense). Unconsciousness is its own fruit. God-sense and Adam-sense are one law. In the Godly position, Gold Boy is the reincarnation of God, also known as the son of God, whose essence is Juristic dust, body soil, and perception, so Gold Boy is what Buddhism calls Buddha, Shakyamuni. Buddha is a Pali word, means perception.

1. 无意识是人的记忆和习惯等的储存仓库，所以被选中作为金童的人应该是图像思维型人。如10.7节《宿命智》所说，这种思维模式的人可以记忆从出生到死亡的一切。金童的这种特质叫不漏智。不漏，是说教父从小到大一直对他做事，他都能记住，如器承水，不会遗漏、丢失。
Unconscious is a storage warehouse for human memories and habits, etc., so the chosen one as Gold Boy should be an image thinker. As stated in Section 10.7 of Fatal Intelligence, the kind of people can remember everything from birth to death. This trait of Gold Boy is called Non-leakage Intelligence in Buddhism. Non-leakage is saying that the godfather has been doing affairs to him since he was a child, he can remember all, like a vessel carrying water, it will not be missed or lost.

2. 无意识在眼识、耳识、意识等中是最愚钝的。在金童一岁时，教父为他和玉女定了娃娃亲，并为他做肉眼通（解释参见第3章）作法。这作法使金童患了婴幼儿神经发育失调症，耽误了他的智力发展，成了个有智障（愚钝）的人。
Unconsciousness is the dullest among eye-sense, ear-sense, and tongue-sense, etc... When Gold Boy was around one year old, the Godfather betrothed him to Jade Girl and performed the practice of “Felsh Eye Through” (see Chapter 3 for explanation) on him. This practice caused Gold Boy to suffer from children neurodevelopmental disorder, which delayed his intellectual development and made him a mentally retarded person, a dumb.

3. 金童有很强的内向性和神经质的特质。这种特质很像无意识，喜欢安静，反应直接。这种性格的人容易患神经病，这有利于神父造人的事业。另外，这种性格在逆境中会变成龙骨，支撑他在困境中成长。结合前面的所有特质，金童有很强的科学研究能力，悟性强。
Gold Boy has strong introverted and neurotic traits. These traits are very similar to unconsciousness, liking quiet and reacting directly. People with these traits are prone to psychosis and are advantageous for the Godfather's career of creating real human. Additionally, these two traits turn into dragon bones in adversity, supporting him to grow in difficulties of adverse environments. Combining all the previous traits, Gold Boy has strong scientific research capability and strong senses of enlightenment.

4. 教父诱导金童从小练习禅定（即气功），所以他善于禅定，知天地、懂鬼神，有天眼通（参见第12章）。天眼通是选择候选人作为亚当的必要条件之一，否则他不能从地狱里爬上来，参悟教父对他的嘱托，完成宿命任务！
The godfather induced Gold Boy to practice meditation (cf. chapter 12) since his childhood, so he is good at meditation, knows sky and earth, understands ghosts and gods, what Celestial Eye is. Celestial Eye is a necessary factor to be the chosen one, otherwise Gold Boy can’t climb up from hell (i.e., Psychosis), perceives Godfather's instructions to him, and complete the fateful mission! 

10.9-3 玉女的特质 Jade Girl’s Traits
玉女具有多种特质与夏娃识的特征相匹配。夏娃识即前意识，是意处。处，相当于事故现场，比如舞台上聚光灯所照射的地方，事故发生的处所。前意识是在思想意识的功能上设立的，所以夏娃识是无形的。
Jade Girl has a variety of qualities matching the characteristics of preconsciousness. Preconsciousness is Eve-sense, is the intentional place. The place is equivalent to the scenes of accidents, such as the place where the spotlight shines on the stage. Pre-consciousness is set up on the function of mind, so Eve-sense is intangible.

1. 夏娃识是意处，是无形的，这由玉女具有女神的外貌来匹配。女神的外貌是无记性的（参见10.8节）。你看见她时，她是个女人；她离开了，你回忆不出她的外貌。
Eve-sense is “intent place”, is formless, which is matched by Jade Girl’s goddess appearance. The appearance of Goddess is unrememberable (cf. section 10.8). When she is in front of you, you see her is a woman; when she is gone, you cannot recall her appearance.

 
2. 玉女是文字思维型的人；这与增语触相匹配。前意识是意处，对语言的形成有促进作用，所以又被叫做增语触。插图10.9-3-2是墨西哥法典中的卡特丽，是三十多岁的玉女，古墨西哥人把她的思维模式描绘成了天线棒。图2中的飞鸟表示玉女可以不借助于图像形象而进行思考。中国佛教命名玉女为观音菩萨，如图4；观音二字就来源于她的语音（文字）思维模式。这种人在日常生活中思维清晰、伶牙俐齿，一般被认为是聪明人。他们的语言能力强，甚至能达到出口成章，过目成诵。玉女的强大的语言和逻辑能力，是她能完成神父赋予她的宿命任务，作为《天书》总编的天赋。如插图3是墨西哥的翠玉女神，是一位玉女，她头顶着《墨西哥法典》表示她视此书是自己的宿命任务。
Jade Girl is a word thinker, which matches the “Escalatory Language Feeler”. Pre-consciousness is intent place, has a function of promoting language formation, so it is also being called “Escalatory Language Feeler”. Illustration 10.9-3-2 is Tlaltecuhtli in Mexican Codex, a Jade Girl at her age of 30s, whose think pattern were depicted by the ancient Mexicans as an antenna rod. The flying bird in Figure 3 indicates that Jade Girl can think without the aid of pictorial images. Chinese Buddhism named Jade Girl the Goddess of View-Sound Bodhisattva, as in Figure 4; the word View-Sound is derived from her word thinking mind. Such people are generally considered intelligent as they think clearly and articulate in their daily lives. They have strong verbal skills, even to the point of being able to speak an article directly without draft and recite an article after reading once. Jade Girl's strong verbal and logical skills were the gift that enabled her to fulfill fate mission given to her by Godfather as the chief editor of Sky Book.  As illustrated in Illustration 3 is the Mexican goddess Chalchiuhtlicue, a Jade Girl, who holds the Mexican Codex over her head indicating that she views this book as her fateful mission.

3. 玉女有很强的觉悟和外向的特质，这两个特质与前意识相匹配。前意识又被称作意；意是企图，打算的意思。觉悟特质使玉女做事有计划，且能自律。另外，前意识活泼好动，故事里常用猴子来比喻它。玉女的外向型特质刚好于前意识的活跃性匹配。
Jade Girl has strong traits of conscientiousness and extroversion, both of which match the preconsciousness. Preconsciousness is also being called Intent that means plotting, planning. The conscientiousness trait makes Jade Girl to do affairs in a planned manner and with self-discipline. In addition, preconsciousness is active, and in the story, a monkey is often used as a metaphor for preconsciousness. Jade Girl's extroverted nature is a perfect match for the active nature of preconsciousness.

4. 神父从玉女小时候就开始教受训练她女戒（参见16.2节），玉女的觉悟特质使她更容易接受女戒。另外玉女的女神外貌，让人看不清楚，记不住她，这对她的社交生活不利，所以玉女更愿意修习女戒使自己引人注目；少女时代的夏娃就已经具有了 “五百威仪，十万八千魅力” 。女戒，即五百威仪十万八千魅力，亦作黄金甲，又名女人皮（参见16.2节）。玉女擅长女戒，使她具备了许多自然法知识，法眼睁开了。女戒和法眼让女神玉女具有了强大的法力；这是神父想要的，因为他要用玉女去创伤金童，送他下地狱。
Godfather began to teach and train Jade Girl the “Woman Precept” when she was a child, and her conscientious trait made it easier to accept. In addition, Jade Girl's goddess appearance made it difficult for people to see and remember her, which was detrimental to her social life, so Jade Girl preferred to practice Woman Precepts to make herself outstanding, therefore as a teenager Jade Girl already possessed “500 Majesties and 108,000 Charms”. The Woman Precepts are the 500 Majesties and 108,000 Charms, are also known as Golden Armor, Woman’s Skin, Invisibility Cloak (cf. section 16.2). Jade Girl excelled in Woman Precept, which equipped her with much knowledge of nature law, so her Juristic Eye was opened. Woman Precepts and Juristic Eye gave goddess Jade Girl great juristic powers; this is what the Godfather wanted because he was going to use Jade Girl to traumatize Gold Boy and send him to hell.

总观金童和玉女的性格和才能特质，他们俩各是半个人，各有显著的优缺点，且刚好互补；合则两利，斗则俱伤。
Looking at the characters and talents of Gold Boy and Jade Girl, each of them is half a human, each with significant strengths and weaknesses, and just complement each other; together they are good for each other, while fighting hurts them both.

10.10 灵魂转世的本质 The Nature of Reincarnation
本回忆录共十章，述说了作为刘团长医学实验对象的我，从一岁到五十岁的经历。从灵魂转世来说，心的本质是事，人的灵魂就是一辈子所经历的长篇故事，本书就是我的灵魂，是由一个个事件构成的。一个个事件就是一个个灵，也就是本回忆录中的一个个案例，古人称作灵，灵丹，和天珠。
This memoir consists of ten chapters that describe my experiences as a subject of medical experimentation by Troupe Leader Liu, from the age of one to the age of fifty. In terms of the reincarnation of the soul, the essence of the heart is affair, and the soul of a human being is a long story of what he or she has experienced in a lifetime, and this book is my soul, which is made up of one event after another. An event is a spirit, or a case in this memoir, which the ancients called a spirit, a Spiritual Catholicon, and a Sky Pearl.

 

插图10.10.1-1是纳瓦特象形文字灵丹。上面的羽毛代表灵，底下的圆球代表丹。人吃了灵丹后，灵丹就会慢慢地生长成为一个灵（如图2所示），成为人灵魂的一部分。图3是少女玉女；她的父母秘密地把灵丹夹杂在饭里给她吃。碗底的那红点就是一颗灵丹，代表奥林心（佛教中称作菩提心，参见16.0节）。当玉女成年后，那颗奥林心已经生长成了菩提树（如图4左所示），所以玉女就成为了众生之母翠玉女（如图4所示）。
Illustration 10.10.1-1 is the Nahuatl hieroglyph for the Spiritual Catholicon. The feathers on top represent spirits, and the ball on the bottom represents the Catholicon. When a person eats the Spiritual Catholicon, the Spiritual Catholicon will slowly grow into a spirit (as shown in Figure 2), becoming part of the person's soul. Figure 3 shows the young Jade Girl; her parents secretly mixed the Spiritual Catholicons into her rice for her to eat. The red dot at the bottom of the bowl is a Spiritual Catholicon, representing the Ollin Heart (called Bodhicitta in Buddhism, see Section 16.0). When Jade Girl grew up, the Ollin Heart had grown into a Bodhi tree (i.e., an enlightenment tree, as shown in Figure 4, left), so Jade Girl became Chalchiuhtlicue, the mother of all livings (as shown in Figure 4).

图5是少年的墨西哥（又名金童，特拉洛克，狮子王）；他不经意地吃了许多神父秘密地送给他的灵丹。长大成为了学者之后，他吃了一颗超大的灵丹（如图6右所示，代表集谛，亦作等起智），所以他四十岁时就变成雨神特拉洛克（如图7所示）了。
Figure 5 shows the young Mexico (also known as Gold Boy, Tlaloc, and Jaguar); he inadvertently ate many Spiritual Catholicons secretly given to him by his godfather. When he grew up and became a scholar, he ate a very large Spiritual Catholicon (as shown in Figure 6, right, representing Aggregate Crux, also known as the intelligence of equality arousal), so when he was forty years old, he became the rain god Tlaloc (as shown in Figure 7).

图8显示在翠玉女和墨西哥结婚之后，她们俩总结出了一千零一颗灵丹，束成了亦作蜻蜓眼塔。图9显示她们俩是根据治疗腐尸虫来编制灵丹的。腐尸虫代表人生的约三百个根本烦恼（参见11.4.4.1.4《根本烦恼》）或八万四千病（参见14.3.1《八万四千尘劳》。
Figure 8 shows that after Chalchiuhtlicue and Mexico got married, they compiled 1,001 Spiritual Catholicons and tied them into a tower called Dragonfly Eyes Tower. Figure 9 shows that they compiled Spiritual Catholicons based on cure for carrion beetles. Carrion beetles represent about 300 fundamental annoyances in life (see section 11.4.4.1.4 “Fundamental Annoyances”) or 84,000 diseases (see section 14.3.1 “84,000 Dust Labors”).

10.10-2 故事线索 Storyline
本回忆录的故事线索就是插图10.10.2-15右端的那根线绳，代表刘团长用它把我和他的女神女儿刘健君捆绑成了夫妻。那根线也被称作金线和黄连（黄连的英文是Goldthread， 金线义，如图38），在中华文化中被称作经，书，和困龙锁，是升天必备的四件法宝之一，能串联人生所需的全部灵丹。
The storyline of my memoir is the string on the right side of illustration 10.10.2-15, represents that Troupe Leader Liu ties me and his goddess daughter Eve Liu together as husband and wife. The thread is called Gold Thread or Goldthread (shown in Figure 38). In Chinese culture, it is called Sutra, Book, and “Detain Dragon Chain”. It is one of the four juristic treasures necessary for ascension to sky, can cluster all Spiritual Catholicons needed in life.

 
插图1至22是墨西哥（又名特拉洛克，美洲狮，金童）约在1325年画的。金线的纳瓦特语为墨西（Mexi），义为 “这就是” ，是太阳神左翼蜂鸟钓墨西哥的渔线。插图11中被挂在鱼钩上作为饵的脸代表他的女儿翠玉女（玉女）。旁边笑眯眯的，不咬钩的半月脸就是墨西哥。
Illustrations 1 to 22 were drawn by Mexico (also known as Tlaloc, Jaguar, and Gold Boy) around 1325 CE. The Nahuatl word for the storyline is Mexi, which means "this is it" and is the fishing line that the sun god Huitzilopochtli used to fish for Mexico, the “gold turtle son-in law” (as shown in fig. 37). The face on the hook as bait in Illustration 11 represents Chalchiuhtlicue (Jade Girl). The smiling crescent face next to it that does not bite the hook is Mexico.

此故事线索在日耳曼文化中称作 “雷音的带子”（如图35所示），是雷音（佛教中称作大日如来）用来拘禁降伏教子德意志（又名阿尔维斯，睚眦，释迦摩尼）的绳子。当时德意志已经向雷音投降了，接受雷音的女儿紫蕗德（佛号磨牙）为妻子了，所以带子被打成了捆，放在了一边。图中的女人是芙蕾雅（佛教中称作南海观音菩萨），猪代表德意志。图表现的是芙蕾雅在去见国王紫蕗德的路上，她怕紫蕗德派人刺杀德意志，就让他扮成了护卫，跟着自己。
The storyline is called "Thor's belt" in Germanic culture (as shown in Figure 35). It is the rope that Thor (known as Great Sun Tathagata in Buddhism) used to detain and tame his godson Germany (also known as Alviss, Gold Boy, Adam, Tanngnjóstr, and Shakyamuni). At that time, Germany had surrendered to Thor and accepted Thor's daughter Thrud (also known as Jade Girl, Eve, Tanngrisnir) as his wife, so the belt was tied into a bundle and put aside. The goddess in the picture is Freya (known as “South-sea Guanyin Bodhisattva” in Chinese Buddhism), and the pig represents Germany. The picture shows that Freya was on her way to see king Thrud. She was afraid that Thrud would send someone to assassinate Germany, so she asked him to pretend to be a guard and follow her.

此故事线索也被称作 “打神鞭”（如图36所示），传说是真主安拉送给教子须弥颅（又名亚当，黑头人）的。
The storyline is also called "Beating God Whip" (as shown in Figure 36). Legend has it that it was given by God Allah to godson Sumeru (also known as Adam, Blackhead Man).

10.10-3 显灵 Epiphany
本书的第九章及以前讲述从我出生之后三十几年里，刘团长一直在秘密地对我进行做法，即在背后喂食我灵丹。那一个个案例（事件）就是以前佛的一个个灵，但我当时并不懂，而是积累了许多迷惑。在第十章，当我听闻刘团长过世的消息，立刻堕入了地狱（即患了精神病）。我惊慌失措，每天都在思索那些怪事的原因（如图10.10.3-1和2所示）。
Chapter 9 and the previous chapters of this book tell that for more than thirty years after I was born, Troupe Leader Liu has been secretly “making laws” on me, that is, feeding me “Spiritual Catholicons” behind my back. Those juristic cases (events, affairs) were the spirits of the Buddha in the past, but I did not understand them at the time and accumulated a lot of Muddles. In Chapter 10, when I heard the news that Troupe Leader Liu had passed away, I immediately fell into hell (i.e., suffered from mental illness). I was panic-stricken and pondered the reasons for those strange affairs every day (as shown in Figures 10.10.3-1 and 2).

 
依据传说中的说法，那几年我处于时光倒流的状态，因为我每天都在思索过去的怪事。那些刘团长对我做过的怪事，就是刘团长的灵。那些灵不断地吸引着我思考，占据我的头脑，就是刘团长不断地对我显灵。我和刘团长成为了形影不离的伴侣，所以我的时间是反向移动的，从辽宁拓疆房地产公司，到研究生院，到沈阳和平房产局，大学，高中，初中，童年。
According to the legend, I was in a state of time reversal during those years because I was thinking about the strange affairs in the past every day. Those strange affairs that Troupe Leader Liu had done to me were his spirits. Those spirits that constantly attracted me to think and occupied my mind were the spirits that Troupe Leader Liu constantly manifested to me. Troupe Leader Liu and I became inseparable companions, so my time moved in reverse, from Liaoning TJ Real Estate Company to Graduate School, to Shenyang Heping Housekeeping Bureau, to college, High School, Junior High School, and Childhood.

在二零一四年春，我的回忆终于突破了三岁的障碍，回忆出了在我一岁时，刘团长为我和刘健君订婚时的情景（参见第一章《娃娃婚约》），粗略地知道了此真人医学实验（参见4.5节）的前因后果。
In the spring of 2014, my memory finally broke through the three-year-old barrier, and I recalled the scene when Troupe Leader Liu arranged the marriage between me and Eve Liu when I was one year old (see Chapter 1 “Children Marriage Contract”), and I roughly understood the cause and effect of this real-life medical experiment (see Section 4.5).

10.10-4 灵魂转世的本质 Nature of Reincarnation
2014年，我写完回忆录后，就懂得了灵魂转世的本质。从唯心主义来谈灵魂转世，佛教不相信人有灵魂，但承认灵魂转世。作者我认为他们是从异生性（参见11.4.4.2-5 异生性），即个体性，来考虑的：{异生性} = {烦恼} + {所知}。
Talking about soul reincarnation from the perspective of theism, Buddhism does not believe that humans have souls, but it recognizes soul reincarnation. Author me believes that they consider it from the perspective of Mutant Nature (see 11.4.4.2-5 Mutant Nature), that is, individuality:
{Mutant Nature} = {Annoyances} + {Knows}.

刘团长和我都因为这个实验生病了。人不同，他的病和我的病不同，但我们俩的病都是从这实验中的一系列事件中形成的。从这个方面来说，我们俩患了相同的病，具有相同的{烦恼}。我因为治疗自己的病，学懂了四胜谛（参见第13至16章）。就这样，刘团长把他的所知传给了我，我们俩具有了相同的{所知}。彼灭此起，就形成了我是刘团长的灵魂转世，是他的下辈子的现象。
Both Troupe Leader Liu and I became ill because of this experiment. We are different people, and his illness is different from mine, but both of our illnesses were formed from a series of events in this experiment. In this respect, we both have the same illness and the same {Annoyances}. Because of treating my own illness, I learned the Four Victorious Cruxes (see Chapters 13 to 16). In this way, Troupe Leader Liu passed on his knowledge to me, and we both had the same {knows}. The demise of one and the arising of the other formed the phenomenon that I was the reincarnation of Troupe Leader Liu's soul, his next life.

插图10.10.4-1和2源自公元七世纪的古墨西哥。图1是帕卡尔王（Lord Pacal，亦作金童，特拉洛克，美洲狮））的灵棺盖板，刻画了他听说神父过世的消息后，体内发生了爆炸（如他屁股下的棺材内所示），堕入了地狱（即患了精神病）。图上部显示十字架或金刚剑插入了帕卡尔王的腹部，表示他被十字架钉住了，病危了。十字架代表四胜谛。
Illustrations 10.10.4-1 and 2 are from ancient Mexico in the seventh century. Illustration 1 is the coffin cover of Lord Pacal (also known as the Gold Boy, Tlaloc, and Jaguar), depicting that after hearing the news of godfather's death, his body exploded (as shown in the coffin under his buttocks) and he fell into hell (i.e., he suffered from mental illness). The upper part of the picture shows a cross or a “philosopher-stone sword inserted into King Pacal's abdomen, indicating that he was nailed by the cross and was dying. The cross represents the Four Victorious Cruxes. 

图2显示，帕卡尔王想通了，重生了；他的新身体（即特拉洛克）是四胜谛。四胜谛中，苦谛最大，可以统摄代表其它的三个胜谛，所以图2中的四胜谛是用一根竖杆表示的。胸前的小女孩儿像表示他接受神父的女儿翠玉女做为妻子了，愿意和她共同（如图3所示）撰写新的《法典》（亦作《天书》）了。
Figure 2 shows that King Pakal has figured it out and has been reborn; his new body (Tlaloc) is the Four Victorious Cruxes. Among the Four Cruxes, the Bitter Crux is the biggest and can represent the other three Cruxes, so the Four Victorious Cruxes in Illustration 2 are represented by a vertical rod. The image of the little girl on his chest indicates that he has accepted godfather’s daughter, Chalchiuhtlicue, as his wife and is willing to write a new "Codex" (called "Sky Book" in Chinese culture) with her (as shown in Figure 3).

10.10-5 灵魂转世的表现 Phenomena of Reincarnation
三岁之前的记忆力量强大，据传说有起死回生的力量，华人文化中称作 “人身果” 和 “福”，佛教中称作儒童（梵语Manava），基督教、伊斯兰教、和埃及文化中作亚伯（Abel），日耳曼文化中作马格尼（Magni），古墨西哥文化中作灵龙（Quetzalcoatl）。我的病情并没有想象得那么悲观，也从那时起，逐渐地好转了。
The memory power before the age of three is very powerful. According to legend, it has the power to bring the dead back to life. In Chinese culture, it is called "human body fruit" and "fortune", in Buddhism, it is called Genius Children (Sanskrit Manava), in Christianity, Islam, and Egyptian culture, it is called Abel, in Germanic culture, it is called Magni, and in ancient Mexican culture, it is called Quetzalcoatl. My condition was not as pessimistic as I imagined, and it gradually improved from then on.

二零一四年六月，我理解了上文的灵魂转世的本质之后，很生气，那就是些理论上的说法，而这个实验却毁了我的家庭和职业。随后，我常常恨刘健君，想象着吃她的肉，但恨她会引起我呼吸障碍，喘不过来气。由于恨刘健君会加剧我的心理矛盾，引发我的胃肠溃疡，我不得不放弃仇恨，行动起来编辑回忆录。
June 2014, after I understood the essence of the soul reincarnation mentioned above, I was very angry. It is just a theoretical statement, and this experiment destroyed my family and career. Afterwards, I often hated Eve Liu and imagined eating her meat but hating her caused me to have breathing difficulties and gasp for air. Because hating her would aggravate my psychological contradictions and cause my gastrointestinal ulcers, I had to give up hatred and take action to edit my memoirs.

渐渐地，我忘记了以前的生活，开始喜欢这个灵魂转世实验了，觉得是刘团长让我有了灵魂，使我的生命有了意义。约从2016年我意识到了刘团长的智慧和业绩达到了上帝的水平开始，多年中，我想起他就悲伤流泪，比如一天想起他五次，就哭五次，这似乎已经成了我的一个特质。到2020年时，随着我的回忆录创作的成功进展，我对刘团长的怀念有所减弱，但还是有时候想起他后悲伤落泪。
Gradually, I forgot my previous life and began to like this reincarnation experiment. I felt that it is Troupe Leader Liu who gave me a soul and made my life meaningful. Since 2016, I realized that his wisdom and achievements had reached the level of God. For many years, I would cry when I thought of him. For example, I would cry five times a day when I thought of him five times. This seems to have become a trait of mine. By 2020, with the successful progress of my memoir writing, my nostalgia for Troupe Leader Liu has weakened, but sometimes I still cry when I think of him.

 
整编于公元二零二四年十月二十五日，卍！
Compiled on October 25, 2024, CE., Auspicious!
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