卢岩回忆录
本人的回忆录，宗教文化
目录 Catalog：7.0 前言 Preface；7.1 调查核实Investigation and Verification；7.2 刘健君 Eve Liu；7.3 相亲 Blind Date；7.4 她的印象Eve’s Impression to Me
7.5 超渡 Transcendently Ferry；7.5.1 治疗恩怨情仇病 Treatment of Illness of Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred；7.5.2 无所得 No Objective Gain；7.5.3 慧伤痴 Gnosis Harms Ignorance；7.5.4 觉悟的特质 Trait of Conscientiousness；7.5.5 给舅舅送终 Sending My Uncle Away；7.5.6 圆满 Perfect Fulfillment；7.5.7 想去哪儿去哪儿To Think Where to Go is Arriving There； 7.5.8 神通正等明 Connection with Correct Equality Light
7.6 她的影响力大 Her Influencing Power is Strong；7.7 无事生非 Making a Fuss out of Nothing；7.8 你是谁？Who Are You? 7.9 第三次核实 The Third Verification；7.10 父母和她吵 Parents Quarrel with Eve；7.11性格互补 Personality Complementation；7.12 百变神通 Hundred Godly Transformations
7.0 前言 Preface
1995年7月，王刚表姐给我在博士生宿舍借了一个床位。开始时，我住在一楼一个朝北的房间，室友是个来自国务院的警察。注解，他是国务院的工作人员，广义上的警察，不记得他的名字了，所以称他为国务院警察。这个宿舍楼是两个人一个房间。没过多久，王刚表姐跟我说，我这个床位的人要回来了，让我住到了六楼东端附近的一个朝南的房间。
大约在九月，宿舍邻居，祝老师的室友，半夜踹水房的门，把我的眉骨撞成局部粉碎性骨折。就这样，我认识了祝老师。他四十多岁，是当时沈阳炮兵学院的副校长，在东北大学进修博士。
In July 1995, Wang Gang cousin borrowed a bed in the doctoral student dormitory for me. At first, I lived in a north-facing room on the first floor, and my roommate was a police officer from the State Council. Annotation, he is a staff member of the State Council, a police officer in a broad sense. I don’t remember his name, so I call him a State Council Police Officer. This dormitory building has two people per room. Not long after, Cousin Wang Gang told me that the person who occupied my bed was coming back and asked me to live in a south-facing room near the east end of the sixth floor.
Around September, a dormitory neighbor, Teacher Zhu’s roommate, kicked in the door of the water room in the middle of the night, causing a partial comminuted fracture of my eyebrow bone. In this way, I met Teacher Zhu. He was in his forties and was the vice president of the Shenyang Artillery Academy at the time. He was studying for a doctorate at Northeastern University.
一九九六年一月，王刚表姐对我说：“我听说你和你室友的关系不融洽，他还老是喝点儿小酒。你考研究生他也不帮助帮助你。他读博士改成读硕士了。我把他赶走了。” 我对表姐的作法，感觉奇怪（注解，她是从哪儿听来的？现在看起来，有人在背后蛊动她，操弄），但没说什么。随后，我在一楼时的室友，那个国务院的警察搬进了我的房间。他是材料系纳米材料研究方向的，和祝英台老师是博士班同学。我知道已经考上研究生了，就开始上课，做实验了。
一天，室友，即国务院警察，对我说，那个祝老师喜欢我，要给我介绍对象。祝英台老师的社会地位比较高，当然，他介绍的档次也会高一些，书香门第；我听了很高兴。可过了很多天祝老师才跟我说，她是他们学校建校时老校长（注，即刘团长）的女儿。这时她在中国医科大学读研究生。他说如果我愿意看看，他要先调查一下我的情况。我同意了，告诉了他我的个人信息。
In January 1996, Wang Gang cousin said to me: "I heard that the relationship between you and your roommate is not harmonious. He always drinks a little. He doesn't help you when you take the postgraduate entrance examination. He was studying for a Ph.D., then changed to study for a master's degree. I drove him away." I felt strange about my cousin's behavior (note, where did she hear this? Now it seems that someone was teasing and manipulating her behind her back), but I didn't say anything. Then my roommate on the first floor, the State Department Police Officer, moved into my room. He is in the field of nanomaterials research in the Department of Materials, and he is a doctoral classmate with Teacher Zhu. I knew I had been admitted to graduate school, so I started taking classes and doing experiments.
One day, my roommate (i.e., State Council Police Officer) told me that Teacher Zhu liked me and wanted to introduce me a girlfriend. Teacher Zhu is a military general; his social status is relatively high. Of course, the class he introduced will also be higher, and he has a scholarly family background; I was very happy to hear that. But it took many days for Teacher Zhu to tell me that she was the daughter of the old principal (Annotation, Troupe leader Liu) when their school was founded. At this time, she was a graduate student at China Medical University. He said that if I wanted to look, he would investigate my situation first. I agreed and gave him my personal information.
两周后，在食堂里，祝老师的同学们喊我过去，说：“你是因为打架，才跑到东北大学避难来了！” 我听不懂，感觉气愤，回答：“那也和你们没关系！” 祝老师等人解释。我不记得（前段）他要给我介绍对象，已经同意他调查我的事了。
几天后，祝老师来到我的房间，向我道歉，说介绍对象这事在那种场合说，不合适。他要再次和我核实他调查的情况。他说他委托他的市政府里的朋友打电话到和平房产局。人事股的XXX股长说： “卢岩，我知道，前年他来的时候，是我面试的他。基层对他的表现评价都很好，除了爱打架。有一次，那架打得，都闹到和平区政府里面去了。”
Two weeks later, in the cafeteria, Teacher Zhu's classmates called me over and said, "You came to Northeastern University to seek refuge because of a fight!" I didn't understand and felt angry, so I replied, "That's none of your business!” Teacher Zhu and others explained. I didn’t remember (in the previous paragraph) that he wanted to introduce a girlfriend, and I had already agreed to his investigation into my matter.
A few days later, Teacher Zhu came to my room and apologized to me, saying that it was inappropriate to introduce someone to me in that situation. He wanted to check with me again about the status of his investigation. He said he asked his friend in the mayor’s office to call the Heping Housekeeping Bureau. Personnel Section Chief XXX said: “Luyan, I know! The year before last year, I interviewed him. The grassroots evaluation of his performance is very good, except for his love for fighting. Once, the fight was so intense that it went to the Heping District Government. "
我回答：“我不知道我爱打架，也可能我嗓门高，情绪激烈，人们认为我在打架。但我不记得什么时候打过架，更没有因为打架的事情涉及到了区政府。”
祝老师说：“这有可能因为你们局的那个XXX股长把别人当成你了，弄错人了。我想再调查一次。”
我同意了。
I replied: "I don't know that I like to fight. Maybe because of my loud voice and intense emotions, people thought I was fighting. But I don't remember when I had a fight, let alone the district government."
Teacher Zhu said: "It's possible that the Personnel Section Chief XXX of your bureau mistook someone else for you. I want to investigate again."
I agreed.
7.1 调查核实 Verification
几天后，祝老师又来找我核实他的调查，先核实了我父母兄妹的情况。然后他说他自己去了东北大学辽宁分院，和几个老师谈过了，没发现什么特殊事。
祝老师说：“下一项问题，你是怎么找到和平房产局工作的？”
我回答如前文5.6节《特殊的新政策》所述。他说他的一个在市政府工作的朋友向和平区政府打电话，接电话的是人事科的白科长，是个女的。白科长说：“卢岩，我记得，前年夏天，一个小孩儿溜溜跶跶，笑呵呵地来这里找工作。我看那小孩儿挺好，就接待了他。诶！他张嘴就懵我！我是人事科长，市政府有什么新政策，我能不知道！”
A few days later, Teacher Zhu came to me again to verify his investigation. He first verified the situation of my parents, siblings, and then said that he went to the Liaoning Branch of Northeastern University and talked with several teachers and found nothing special.
Teacher Zhu said: "The next question is, how did you find the job at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau?"
I answered as described in the previous section 5.6, Special New Policies. He said that a friend of his who worked in city called the Heping District Government, and the person who answered the phone was the Personnel Section Chief Bai, a woman. Chief Bai said: "Luyan, I remember, the summer before last, a kid came here looking for a job with a smile on his face. I saw that the kid was quite nice, so I received him. Eh! He opened his mouth to fool me! I'm the head of the personnel section, what new policies of the municipal government, that I do not know!"
祝老师问我：“那时，你是怎么懵她的？”
我对白科长还记得我感到惊讶，回答：“我没骗她！又说了前文5.6节的事。”
祝老师说：“那个白科长说，我感觉这小孩儿挺好，就把他介绍到我们房产局去了。”
Teacher Zhu asked me: "At that time, how did you fool her?"
I was surprised that Section Chief Bai still remembered me and replied: "I didn't lie to her! I mentioned what happened in Section 5.6 above."
Teacher Zhu said: "The section chief Bai said that I thought this kid was very good, so I introduced him to our Heping Housekeeping Bureau."
祝老师的朋友问：“卢岩懵她，她反而觉得他好；这是怎么回事？”
祝老师回答：“现在的人就这样！你有意见呐！出门办事，找个话题说，那白科长就欣赏卢岩的谎话！认为他办事有策略。”
我叨咕：“我没那心眼儿！可没有你想得那么聪明。”
Teacher Zhu's friend asked: "Luyan fooled her, but she thought he was good; what's going on?"
Teacher Zhu replied: "That's how people are nowadays! You have an opinion? When you go out to do errands and find a topic to talk about, Section Chief Bai will appreciate Luyan's lies! She thinks he has a strategy in doing things."
I muttered: "I don't have that kind of mind! I'm not as smart as you think."
7.1-2 工作表现 Work Performance
祝老师又说：“这一项，说你在和平房产局的工作表现。这次我市政府的朋友仔细核实了要问的人，别把人弄错了。你们那个人事股长XXX说：没错，就是这个卢岩。他说：以前我们和平房产局是个安静的地方，自从他来了，我们这儿就热闹了。人们到处都在议论他，总有新奇的事发生。他说：各个部门的人都说卢岩好，咱这么听，那就是真不错。XXX还举出了例子，如前文6.2节《工作表现好》所述。”
Teacher Zhu added: "This item talks about your work performance in Heping Housekeeping Bureau. This time, my friend from the city government carefully verified the person to be asked, so as not to get the wrong person. Your HR chief XXX said: Yes, this is Luyan. He said: Our Heping Housekeeping Bureau used to be a quiet place, but since he came, our place has become lively. People are talking about him everywhere, and there are always new things happening. He said: Everywhere People in the Bureau say Luyan is good, and if we hear it that way, it means he is good. XXX also gave examples, (as mentioned in Section 6.2 Good Work Performance)."
祝老师问我：“你自己觉得你的工作表现怎么样？”
我回答：“一般般！”
祝老师和他的帮忙朋友都表示反对，辨别各个事例，那都好得出格了，又问：你怎么干得那么好？
我回答：“我就没干什么正经事；更谈不上干得好了！”
Teacher Zhu asked me: "How do you feel about your work performance?"
I replied: "Just so! Average!"
Teacher Zhu and his helper friends both objected, identifying each case as being too good, and asked again: How do you do so well?
I replied: "I haven't done anything serious; let alone done it well!"
祝老师的帮手惊奇地说：“这可奇怪了！件件事都说明他干得好，他自己却没感觉！这些事是真的还是假的？”
我回答：“是真的，但我对自己感觉不满意！”
祝老师的朋友说：“又一路！傻或者暪！”
祝老师说：“别说没用的，人家都说好，你怎么能得出了傻的结论呢！应该说是理想或者兴趣儿的取向不同，个人的欣赏和追求不一样。”
Teacher Zhu's helper said in surprise: "This is strange! Everything shows that he has done a good job, but he doesn't feel it himself! Are these things true or false?"
I replied, "It's true, but I'm not happy with how I feel!"
Teacher Zhu's friend said: "Another path! Fool or concealment!"
Teacher Zhu said: "Don't say it's useless. Others say it's good. How could you come to a stupid conclusion? It should be said that the orientation of ideals or interests is different, and personal appreciation and pursuit are different."
7.1-3 打架的事 The Fight
祝老师说：“下一个问题是关于你打架的事。这次，我特别嘱咐了，别把人弄错啦！他们仔细核实了你，说，‘肯定错不了，就是这个卢岩。自从他来了，我们总能听到关于他吵架的事。我们局里这帮女的常议论，想办法去套他，局长们也帮着出主意，可那个卢岩就是不上套儿。这帮女人越干越来劲儿。不知道咋回事，一次，就打大分了，和平区政府出面调解的’。这事你知道吗？”
我回答：“你说了，我才知道的。我知道有很多次，很多人商量办法来逗我。我不记得曾经打起来了。在和平房产局，我就没和人打过架，更不记得和平区政府干预过我的事。”
Teacher Zhu said: "The next question is about your fight. This time, I gave special instructions not to make a mistake! They double-checked you and said, There's no mistaking it, it's this Luyan. Since he came, we always hear about his fights. The women in our bureau have been talking about it, trying to find ways to trap him, and the Bureau Chiefs have been helping with ideas, but that Luyan just won't take the bait. The more these women worked, the more they got excited. I don't know what happened, once, it hit the big score, the Heping District government to mediate their dispute. Luyan! Do you know the affair?"
I replied: "I only knew about it when you told me. I know there were many times when many people discussed ways to tease me. I don't remember ever getting into a fight. I never fought with anyone at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau, and I don't remember the Heping District Government interfering with me."
祝老师的朋友问：“她们是怎么套你的？”
我回答：“她们就像是逗愣子似的，逗我，取笑给大伙儿看热闹。那事儿、那话题，我不总是感兴趣。”
祝老师瞪着眼睛看着我：“就没有和平区政府调解你打架那回事？”
我回答：“我自己不认为我自己爱打架，在和平房产局就没和人打架过；我不记得什么时候和平区政府为我调解过打架的事。”
Teacher Zhu's friend asked, "How did they set you up?"
I replied: "They were like teasers, teasing me, making fun for the crowd. I'm not always interested in that kind of affairs, that kind of topic."
Teacher Zhu stared at me with wide eyes: "Wasn’t there such a affair as the Heping District government mediating your fight?"
I replied: "I don't think I love to fight, and I've never fought with anyone in the Heping Housekeeping Bureau; I don't remember when the Heping District Government mediated a fight for me."
7.1-4 假档案 Fake Files
祝老师说：“下一项是东北大学研究生院。我自己去了东北大学的档案馆，看了你的档案，那是一份假的。你怎么放那里一份假档案？当然，我这是给人介绍对象，是私事，不是公事。”
我回答：“和平房产局不同意我读研究生，不给我档案。王刚我表姐找他们要，他们也不给；她就弄了份假档案，放在那里了。她说，‘除了她们研究生管理办公室的人，就没有别人去看档案’。”
Teacher Zhu said: "The next item is the Graduate School of Northeastern University. I went to the archives of Northeastern University and looked at your file, and it was a fake one. How did you put there a fake file? Of course, I'm making an introduction, a private matter, not a public matter."
I replied: " Heping Housekeeping Bureau does not agree to my graduate studies and does not give me my file. Wang Gang my cousin asked them for it, and they wouldn't give it; so, she got a fake file and put it there. She said, 'No one else went to see the file except for the people in their graduate management office'."
祝老师问：“她从哪儿弄来的那份假档案？”
我回答：“不知道，我没问过她。”
祝老师惊讶地说：“这你怎么能不知道呢！”
我回答：“我现在也想不出我有什么必要知道那事。”
他的朋友问：“如果这假档案的事暴露了，会怎么样？”
Teacher Zhu asked: "Where did she get that fake file?"
I replied: "I don't know, I didn't ask her."
Teacher Zhu was surprised and said: "How can you not know this!"
I replied: "I do not think right now what I need to know about that."
His friend asked: "What will happen if this fake file thing is exposed?"
祝老师说：“现在人们都不重视个人档案的事了，但档案机制仍然是国家机关有效的一部分。如过这假档案的事暴露了，那还是公事公办，卢岩得回去和平房产局，他的研究生的事就全白费了。卢岩！你的秘密在我们这里很安全；我们绝对不会干那种缺德事。”
祝老师说：“我去了你们资源土木工程学院的办公室；他们对你有点意见，你知道不？”
我回答：“不知道，没人会注意到我吧！？”
Teacher Zhu said: "People don't pay much attention to personal files nowadays, but the file mechanism is still an effective part of the state organization. If this fake file thing is exposed, it's still a public matter, Luyan must go back to the Heping Housekeeping Bureau, and his postgraduate work will all be for nothing. Luyan! Your secret is safe with us; we will never do that kind of unethical thing."
Teacher Zhu said, "I went to the office of your Resource Civil Engineering Department (or Institute); they have a bit of a problem with you, don’t you know?"
I replied, "I don't know, no one would notice me, right!?"
祝老师说：“他们人人都知道你（注4）；你的问题我们知道原因。”
我哑口无言，不知所措。
注7.1-4，那时，我在东北大学资源土木工程学院里被人议论，是因为祝老师和刘团长的多次调查。
Teacher Zhu said, "Everyone of them knows you (Note 4); we know the reason for your problem."
I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words.
Note 7.1-4. At that time, I was discussed in the Resource Civil Engineering Department (or Institute) of Northeastern University because of many investigations by Teacher Zhu and Troupe Leader Liu.
7.1-5 我对此调查耿耿于怀 I Worried the Investigation
我对如此详细的调查深感迷惑，就向我哥哥询问。他那时是沈阳军区东塔运输团的飞行员。
他回答，部下给老领导的孩子介绍对象。老领导当然要问，他是哪个大学毕业的？工作表现得怎么样？不单单部队里这样，社会上不也这样吗！这调查的深浅因人而异，可能你说的那位祝老师办事认真，就调查得深入了些。
我觉得哥哥说的有道理。
Puzzled by such a detailed investigation, I asked my brother. At that time, he was a pilot of the East Tower Transportation Group of the Shenyang Military Region.
He replied that the subordinates would introduce someone to the old leader's child; of course, the old leader must ask, which university did he graduate from? How is his job performance? This is not only true in the army, but also in society! The depth of this investigation varies from person to person. Maybe the Teacher Zhu you mentioned is serious about his work, so the investigation was more in-depth.
I think what my brother said makes sense.
7.2 刘健君 Eve Liu
一天，我在路上遇见祝老师，他告诉我，他把调查我的报告交上去了，就开始跟我说刘健君。他说：“这次我来东北大学读博士，还有另一个任务，就是给我们老校长的女儿刘健君找对象。从她上大学开始，我们就委托亲戚朋友在全国各名牌大学里给她介绍男朋友，到现在我们已经介绍一百多个了，就是不成。这事，我们是越办越急，现在都急到火烧眉毛了。人家男朋友谈崩了，不奇怪，我们怎么能立刻给她介绍新的，上哪儿找去！我们也有经验了，为她提前准备着。她爸说，现在她有对象，不过依他看，这个又维持不了多久了。”
我听后，非常气愤：要见她，我还要先排队！她是谁呀！
One day, I met Teacher Zhu on the road. He told me that he had handed in the report on my investigation and started talking to me about Eve Liu. He said: "This time I came to Northeastern University to study for my Ph.D., and I have another task, which is to find a boyfriend for Eve Liu, the daughter of our old principal. Since she went to university, we have entrusted relatives and friends to find her a boyfriend in prestigious universities across the country. We have introduced more than 100 boyfriends so far, but it just doesn't work. We are getting more and more anxious about this matter, and now it is urgent. It is not surprising that the relationship with her boyfriend has collapsed. How can we immediately introduce her a new boyfriend? Where can I find them! Now, we have experience and are preparing for her in advance. Her dad said that now she has a boyfriend, but in his opinion, this will not last long. "
After hearing this, I was very angry: If I want to see her, I must queue up first! Who is she!
注7.2-1，本《真人医学实验》（参见4.5节）是根据本书第2章的《桃花劫 》故事改编的。和那个古代故事里的桃花女一样，刘健君也相亲无数次，就是不成婚姻。插图7.2是玉女（即夏娃）的特质画，图1和2是少女夏娃，图3至6是21至38.7岁年龄段的夏娃，又名千手千眼观音，图7和8是众生之母夏娃。
Note 7.2-1, This Real-Life Medical Experiment (see Section 4.5) is based on the Peach Flower Catastrophe in Chapter 2 of this book. Like the Peach Flower Girl in that ancient tale, Eve Liu has been on countless blind dates but just can't get married. Illustration 7.2 is a characteristic painting of the Jade Girl (i.e. Eve). Figures 1 and 2 are of the young girl Eve, Figures 3 to 6 are of Eve aged between 21 and 38.7 years old, also known as the “Thousand-hand and Thousand-eye View-sound”, and Figures 7 and 8 are of Eve, the mother of all livings.
7.2-2 特殊的高中 Special High School
一天，在宿舍的走廊里，祝老师看见我，说要对我说说刘健君。她是他们沈阳炮兵学院建校时老校长的长女，自幼就聪明。在穿开裆裤的时候，她就一转脸想出个新主意，一转身玩出个新花样儿。
我问：“什么新主意？”
祝老师说：“她想让我跟她玩，让我抱她啊！抱起来，就放不下了，一会儿一个主意。那时候，他爸爸就是位师级干部。我是从四川来的义务兵。她爸爸四十来岁才有的她，那真是喜欢得不得了，顶在头上怕摔着，看在眼里怕烫着，含在嘴里怕化了。刘健君也确实招人喜欢，人活泼好动，学习也好，从幼儿园到小学、中学、大学、研究生，一直成绩优异，都是在天才班。她就这么一直在上学，直到现在研究生快毕业了。她的相貌一般，不好看，也不难看；个头不高也不矮，身材不胖不瘦的。相貌这事儿，个人喜好不同，你得自己看。”
One day, in the corridor of the dormitory, Teacher Zhu saw me and said he wanted to tell me about Eve Liu. She was the eldest daughter of the old principal of the Shenyang Artillery Academy when it was founded and had been smart since childhood. When wearing crotch pants, she turned her face to come up with a new idea, a turn to play a new trick.
I asked, "What new idea?"
Teacher Zhu said: "She wanted me to play with her, let me hug her ah! Once I left her up, couldn’t put her down, it's an idea for a while. At that time, his father was a division officer. I was a conscript from Sichuan. Her father was about forty years old before having her, that really like it, on top of the head for fear of falling, look in the eyes for fear of scalding, in the mouth for fear of melting. Eve Liu was lovable indeed, lively, and active, learning is also good, from kindergarten to elementary school, secondary school, university, graduate school, has been excellent grades, all are in the gifted class. She just kept on going to school until now when she is almost graduated from graduate school. Her appearance is average, not good-looking, not ugly; neither tall or short nor fat or thin. The matter of looks, personal preference is different, you have to see for yourself."
祝老师又说：“噢！对了，她的高中不是一般的高中；怎么说呢？” 祝老师说着，停下了，转身看着我。
我说：“天才班！”
祝老师转回身又开始想，说：“不是天才班；好像是种什么培训。”
我问：“那她念的不是高中啊？”
祝老师想了一会儿，回答：“是高中！”
我说：“是个特殊的班，某种定向培养的班？”
Teacher Zhu added: "Oh! Her high school isn't just any high school; how so?" Mr. Huang said, stopped, and turned to look at me.
I said: "Gifted class!"
Teacher Zhu turned back around and started thinking again and said: "It's not a gifted class; it seems to be some kind of training."
I asked: "Then it's not high school she's attending?"
Teacher Zhu thought for a moment and replied: "It's a high school!"
I said: "Is it a special class, some kind of directed training?"
他说：“你说特殊的培训班也可以。那个班的名字也特殊；我怎么就想不起来了呢！”
我说：“没关系，现在她研究生都快毕业了，还追究那个高中培训班的名字干什么！”
祝老师坚持在想，我不耐烦地说：“别想了，高中对她已经不重要了。”
他却说：“我向你保证，下次我见到她爸妈的时候，我再问问那个班的名字。”
He said: "You can say special training class too. The name of that class was special too; why can't I remember!"
I said: "It doesn't matter; now that she's almost out of graduate school, what's the point of pursuing the name of that high school training class!"
Teacher Zhu insisted on thinking about it, and I said impatiently: "Don't think about it; high school doesn't matter to her anymore."
Instead, he said: "I promise you, the next time I see her parents, I'll ask about the name of that class."
几天后，我又遇见祝英台老师，他说他要道歉。我注意地听。他说他昨天遇见刘健君她妈妈，忘记问刘健君高中时的那个培训班的名字了。
我生气地回答：“上次我们不是说，没必要问吗！”
他说：“我答应的事就一定要做到。”
A few days later, I met Teacher Zhu again and he said he wanted to apologize. I listened attentively. He said that he met Eve Liu's mother yesterday and forgot to ask the name of the training class Eve Liu attended in high school.
I replied angrily: "Didn't we say last time that there was no need to ask!"
He said: "I must do what I promised."
几天后我又遇见他，他又说他要道歉。我注意地听。他说前天遇见刘健君她爸爸，又忘问她高中时的那个培训班的名字了。
我气愤地回答：“你烦人不！我什么时候让你问过！”
他立刻转过身去，弯着腰。我意识到失礼了，赶忙追过去道歉。他觉察到了，又转身，弯腰成90度，不理我。
我愣愣地等了一会儿之后说：“你还有完没完？我不是道歉了么！”
他没反应。事情这样持续了很长时间。他转回来对我说，刚才不是因为你，是我想起了别的事，矜持不住了。
I met him again a few days later and he again said he wanted to apologize. I listened attentively. He said that he met Eve Liu's father the day before yesterday and forgot to ask her the name of the training class she attended in high school.
I replied angrily: "Aren't you annoying! When did I ask you to ask!"
He immediately turned away and bent over. I realized I was rude and rushed over to apologize. He noticed it, turned around again, bent at 90 degrees, and ignored me.
I waited blankly for a while and then said: "Aren’t you still finished? Didn't I apologize!?"
He didn't respond. Things went on like this for a long time. He turned back me and said: “It wasn't because of you; it was because I thought of other things and couldn't hold myself back any longer.”
注7.2-2，为什么祝英台老师要让我知道她上了个特别的高中，却又不告诉我那个培训班的名字？答：后文刘健君也对我说起了她的高中：在中国医科大学的巴甫洛夫楼里。2014年，写回忆录时，我才注意到此事。本书4.5 节《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》中说了，这医学实验的女子组是 “集中培训” （即女神集中训练营，亚马逊） 。此事，刘团长要让我知道，却又不能让我在那时就明白；他要让我写回忆录时才能注意到，联系起来，猜到她就是那个为科学研究自愿献身的女孩儿。
Note 7.2-2, why did Teacher Zhu want me to know that she went to a special high school, but didn’t tell me the name of the training class? Answer: Later in the article, Eve Liu also told me about her high school: in the Pavlov Building of Chinese Medical University. I only noticed this in 2014 when I was writing my memoirs. Section 4.5 of this book, "Newspaper News of Real-life Medical Experiments," mentioned that the female group of this medical experiment was "concentrated training", (that is, the goddess concentration training camp, Amazon). Troupe Leader Liu wanted me to know about this, but he couldn't let me understand it at that time; he wanted me to notice it when I wrote my memoirs, connect it, and guess that she was the girl who voluntarily sacrificed her life for scientific research.
7.2-3 女神的现象Phenomena of Goddess
一天，介绍人祝老师告诉我，刘健君的父母同意了，她本人也愿意和我见面谈谈，又给我介绍她的情况，说到她的长相：“诶！你见过她！”
我没记忆，问道：“我什么时候见过她？”
祝老师忍俊不禁地笑着说：“那天她来我这儿办事儿，和我唠嗑。你从门口过，看见她了。她出去的时候，你遇见她了；好像你还回头看了。那时我在门口呢，你没看我。”
我记得是有那么回事，但回忆不起来她的长相，就说，“我不记得了”。他说：“没关系，那可能是你没注意。”
One day, the introducer, Teacher Zhu, told me that Eve Liu’s parents agreed, and she was willing to meet and talk with me. Teacher Zhu introduced her situation to me again, and when it came to her appearance, he said: “Hey! You’ve seen her!”
I had no memory and asked: "When did I see her?"
Teacher Zhu couldn't help laughing and said: "That day she came to my place to do errands and chatted with me. You passed by the door and saw her. When she went out, you met her; it seemed that you looked back. At that time, I I'm at the door, you're not looking at me."
I remembered that it happened, but I couldn't recall her appearance, so I said, "I don't remember." He said: "It doesn't matter! Maybe you didn't pay attention."
后来我自己回忆，我回寝室取饭盒路过他屋的门口，看见他屋有个女的随意对着门口，斜仰着坐在床上，还侧身在听。下半身的姿势是三十多岁女人的姿势；可她的上半身侧面倾听，看着应该是十六七岁的少女姿态。她出来时，我们对面走过，我看见她了，像是个生疏的新学生，但没看清，像似我看不见她似的（如图7.2-3）。那时，感觉奇怪：我的视力怎么变得这么差了！开始检测自己的视力。她走路咔咔作响，我回头看，是个训练有素的女军官形象，约二十五六岁；但是记忆中都没有脸，都是线条整齐的轮廓。
Later, I recalled that when I went back to the dormitory to get my lunch box and passed by the door of his room, I saw a woman in his room casually facing the door, leaning back on the bed, and listening. The posture of her lower body was that of a woman in her thirties; but the top half of her, she listened sideways, she looked at the posture of a girl who must have been sixteen or seventeen years old. When she came out, we walked across from each other. I saw her, like a new and unfamiliar student, but I didn't see her clearly, as if I couldn't see her (see fig. 7.2-3). At that time, I felt strange: Why did my eyesight become so bad! Start testing my own vision. She walked with a clicking sound. When I looked back, I saw that she was a well-trained female military officer, about 25 or 26 years old. But in my memory, there was no face, only neat outlines.
注7.2-3，回忆中，她的各个姿态动作不相配，画面破碎，合不到一起（如图7.2-4）；我还以为是几个女人呢！和她交往那段时间，我发现自己回忆不出她的长相，仔细辨认，所辨认的图像总是变成没有生命的枯木、石头、腐朽的垃圾（如图7.2-4中的大腿）等，总觉得自己的眼睛出了毛病。在2021年，我看到了墨西哥沙门教中对皮主（Xipe Totec）与眼疾有关的描述，才明白了那是刘健君的女人皮，即五百威仪十万八千魅力（参见16.2节的离垢地），产生的现象。
Note 7.2-3, in my memory, her various postures and movements did not match together (see fig. 7.2-4), the picture was broken and could not be put together; I thought it was several women! During the time I was dating her, I found that I couldn't recall her appearance. When I looked at her carefully in my mind, the images I recognized always turned into lifeless dead wood, stones, rotten garbage (see the thighs as shown in Figure 7.2-4), etc. I always felt that there was something wrong with my eyes. In 2021, I saw the description of the Xipe Totec related to eye diseases in Mexican Shamanism, and then I realized that it was Eve Liu’s “woman skins”, which is “500 Majesties and 108,000 Charms” (cf. section 16.2), caused phenomena (see fig. 17.2).
7.3 相亲 Blind Date
见面那天，祝老师告诉我，她很注重接人待物的言谈举止，让我注意些。我跟着他来到了中国医科大学。当时太阳刚落山，天地都是灰蒙蒙的（注1）。我还在问祝老师：“在哪儿见面？”
他回答：“就在前面，到了，她在那儿等着呐！”
我意识到了我们来到了中国医科大学的正门口，我还在看医大的校名牌子，觉察到刘健君从另一面走近了我们。她可能是从校门对面路边很快地走过来的。
On the day we met, Teacher Zhu told me that she pays great attention to the way she talks and behaves when dealing with people and asked me to pay more attention to it. I followed him to China Medical University. The sun had just set at that time, and the sky and the earth were gray (Note 1). I'm still asking Teacher Zhu: "Are we there yet?"
He replied: "Right in front, here, she is waiting there!"
I realized that we had arrived at the main entrance of China Medical University. I was still looking at the name of the medical university when I noticed that Eve Liu walked into us from the other side. She probably came quickly from the road opposite the school gate.
祝老师给我们俩作介绍。我的注意力还没收回来呢！没看清她。她伸出手来和我握手。我赶忙伸手，距离她太远。我弯腰，像鞠躬似的伸手，还是没够着她。我尴尬得无地自容（注2），血向上涌。她上前一步和我握手。我还没从尴尬的云里雾里缓过来！抬头发现刘健君和祝老师都笔直地站在我的前面，看着我。我意识到自己的站相不好，赶忙挺起胸，站直了。
Teacher Zhu introduced us both. I haven't regained my attention yet! Didn't see her clearly. She extended her hand to shake my hand. I reached out quickly, but it was too far away from her. I bent down and stretched out my hand like a bow but still couldn't reach her. I was so embarrassed (Note 2) that my blood surged upwards. She stepped forward and shook my hand. I haven't recovered from the embarrassing fog yet! I looked up and found that Eve Liu and Teacher Zhu were both standing upright in front of me, looking at me. I realized that my posture was not good, so I quickly straightened my chest and stood up straight.
注1，太阳落山后的灰色是无意识默认的空色；在此天色中，无意识不采集观察对象的特征。也就是说，如果刘健君扮夏娃有瑕疵，会被这种天色所掩盖。这也是后文，我回忆不起来她外貌的原因之一。
注2，羞，能让人的思维和行动迟缓，能使人丧失社会功能。
Note 1, the gray after the sun sets is the unconscious default empty color; in this sky color, the unconscious does not collect the characteristics of the observed object. In other words, if Eve Liu’s performance as Eve was flawed, it would be covered up by this pervasively gray color. This is also one of the reasons why I can't recall her appearance later.
Note 2, Shy can slow down people's thinking and actions, and can cause people to lose social functions.
7.3-2 出乎意料 Unexpected
还没说什么呢，我看见刘健君气愤地朝着祝老师一摆头，意思是：你还站这儿干嘛！快离开！那气势比旧社会地主恶霸对待佣人还差。祝老师也是满脸的愤怒。我不知发生了什么事，他俩怎么打起来啦！祝老师向我勉强地做了个轻松的表情，说：“没事，你们俩自己聊吧，我先走了。” 我支支吾吾地想缓和气氛。祝老师走了。我眼看着刘健君的脸色变了，对我笑了，像似没事发生一样。我立刻问：“怎么了？祝老师好像生气了？”
Before I could say anything, I saw Eve Liu angrily waving her head towards Teacher Zhu, meaning what are you still standing here for! Get out of here! That aura was worse than that of a landlord's bully treating his servants in the old society. Teacher Zhu was also full of anger. I didn't know what was going on, why they were fighting! Mr. Huang gave me a reluctant look of relief and said, "It's okay, you two talks among yourselves, I'll leave first." I stammered, trying to lighten the mood. Teacher Zhu left. I watched as Eve Liu's face changed and smiled at me like nothing happened. I immediately asked: "What's wrong? Teacher Zhu seems angry?"
她走进我，耳朵凑到我的嘴边，头发擦到了我的脸了。听后，她向后退了两、三步，立正，站得笔直，笑着对我说，还摆了摆头：“啊！没事，某俩就这样儿！”
我迷惑不解：“你们俩，怎么这样儿啊？”
她想了想，认真地说：“好像是从我上高中的时候开始的。他一见我，就和我生气。没事儿，一会儿就好。” 说着，她指着祝老师去的方向说：“你看！”
She walked in on me and put her ear to my mouth, her hair brushing my face. After hearing this, she took two or three steps back, stood at attention, said to me with a smile, and shook her head: "Ah! It's okay, that's all for the two of us!"
I was confused: "Why are you two like this?"
She thought for a while and said seriously: "It seems to have started when I was in high school. As soon as he saw me, he got angry with me. It's okay, it will be fine in a while." As she said that, she pointed in the direction of Teacher Zhu and said: "Look!"
我转身看，祝老师没有从我们来的路回去，他踢着军人的正步，向反方向走去；走了三十几米远后，放松了，变成了如释重负的青少年神态，摇晃着，吹着口哨，酷起来了。
刘健君说：“你看，我说没事吧！这儿人多，走，咱们去那边走走。” 说着，她就快速地向我们来时的方向走去。
我四处看：这里只有我们两个人，就叨咕：“哪儿有人，我怎么没看见（注3）！？”
I turned to look, and Teacher Zhu didn't go back the way we came, he kicked his military goose-steps and walked in the opposite direction; after walking thirty or so meters away, he relaxed into a relieved teenage demeanor, shaking, whistling, and being cool.
Eve Liu said: "Look, I said it's okay! It's crowded here, come on, let's walk over there." With that, she quickly walks in the direction we came from.
I looked around: there were only two of us here, so I chattered: "Where's someone, why don't I see (Note 3)!"
注3，我失智了，就像卡通漫画里的情节一样。这时我变成了小孩儿，头脑简单，天真，就是我的思想范畴收缩到很小了。这是我的前意识，这个思想意识工作平台，不断地被大量更新造成的；前意识内容变少，我的世界就变小了，思维就简单且单纯了。
Note 3, I lose my mind, just like in a cartoon. This is when I become a child, simple-minded and naïve, that is, my sphere of thought shrinks to a very small size. This is caused by my pre-consciousness, the conscious working platform, being constantly and heavily updated; the content of my pre-consciousness becomes less, my world becomes smaller, and my thinking is simple and innocent.
7.3-3 惭愧 Shame
她走了几步，回头看见我还站在那儿，喊道：“你怎么不走啊！？” 她向祝老师消失的方向看了看，说： “你看，我们科长来了，快走！” 说着她已经回到了我的旁边，然后，又迅速地离去了。
我回头看，没看见人（注，我没看40、50米的远处）。她走几步，又回来了，说：“别看呐！哎呀！走！我介绍你和他认识！” 她就向那人走去！我慢慢地跟着她，走一段路后，想：这么远，还过去打招呼！走到距离那人十五六米远处，我站住了。她们那位科长看我站住了，他也站住了。他是个身高1.85米，罕见的帅小伙儿，举止大方得体，和我年纪相仿。刘健君发现不对劲，回头看我。但是已经晚了，尴尬的局面是说话的距离太远。
She walked a few steps, turned around and saw me still standing there, and shouted, "Why don't you leave!?" She looked in the direction where Teacher Zhu disappeared and said, "Look, our section chief is coming, let's go quickly!” As she said this, she came back to my side and then left quickly.
I looked back and saw no one (note, I didn’t look 40 or 50 meters away). She came back and said: "Don't look at it! Oops! Walk! Let me introduce you to him!" She walked towards that person! I followed her slowly. After walking for a while, I thought, “It's so far away, why should we go over and say hello!” When I walked around fifteen meters away from the person, I stopped. The section chief saw me stopped, and so did he. He was a rare handsome guy with a height of 1.85 meters, and he was about the same age as me. Eve Liu noticed something was wrong and looked back at me, but it was too late, and she was embarrassed. The situation is that the speaking distance is too far.
刘健君也觉得难为情了，说：“你怎么不过来！” 那位科长笑着说：“这样说说话挺好！” 她介绍完后，和他说话。这时，我感觉自己是在军营里，真的是没人样儿了。几句之后，那科长走了，刘健君笑着目送着，转身，立正，脸色骤然变得愤怒。我赶忙支支吾吾地道歉。她的脸色变得异常迅速，笑了，快步走到我面前，侧耳倾听。她的头发又触及我的脸了，对我像似老熟人一样。听完后，她后退，立正，笑着说：“啊！没关系，我跟他很熟。这里是校门口，总是人来人往的；走！咱们到那边走走！” 说着，她先走了。
Eve Liu also felt embarrassed and said: "Why don't you come over here!" The section chief smiled and said: "It's good to talk like this!" After her introduction, she spoke to him. At this point, I felt like I was in a military barracks, and was out of shape. After a few sentences, that section chief left, Eve Liu smiled and eyed him, turned around, stood at attention, and her face suddenly became angry. I hurriedly stammered an apology. Her face became unusually swift, smiled, and walked quickly to me, listening with her sideways ear. Her hair was touching my face again, treating me like an old acquaintance. When she had finished listening, she stepped back, stood at attention, and said with a smile: "Ah! It's okay, I know him well. This is the entrance to the school, and there are always people coming and going; come on! Let's walk over there!" Saying that, she went first.
我羞愧得身体轻飘飘的；思想意识内敛来保持身体的平衡，不要摔倒。虽然地球的引力消失了，我感觉不会摔倒，才左右看，找她，她不见了。她在远处的马路中央喊我：“你怎么啦！我在这儿呢！” 她回来了，问：“怎么啦？你怎么不走！走啊！” 说着，她转身又向马路中央走去了。
I was so ashamed that my body was fluttering lightly; my mind and consciousness introspected to keep my body balanced and not to fall. Though the earth's gravity disappeared, I felt like I wouldn't fall before I looked around, looking for her; she was gone. She called out to me from the center of the road in the distance: "What's wrong with you! I'm here!" She came back and asked: "What's wrong? Why don't you go! Go!" With that, she turned and walked back toward the center of the road.
7.3-4 还是惭愧 Still Ashamed
我慢慢地向她走去；她回来和我说话：“我听祝老师说，你在东北大学读在职的研究生？” 这种天色，在马路的中央，我感到焦虑，努力地集中精力，想‘他说我读在职的研究生，他们也分不清在职的和统考全职的，’ 自我介绍说：“是，我在东北大学学土建。” 她说：“你的情况，祝老师都跟我说了；他说你爱打架，有一次你打架，和平区政府出面调解，那是怎么回事？”这时，我思想得很慢。我想（我自己在心里念），‘我的情况，祝老师都跟你说了，那我没什么说的了；他说我爱打架’，我回答：“我不认为自己爱打架，不记得什么时候打架和平区政府为我调解。” 她听后站住了，转过身去，不出声了。
I walked towards her slowly. She came back and talked to me: "I heard from Teacher Zhu that you are a part-time graduate student at Northeastern University?" In this kind of dusk, in the middle of the highway, I felt anxious and tried hard to concentrate, and thought, 'She said that I am a part-time graduate student, and they can't tell the difference between part-time and full-time students,' so introduced myself: "Yes, I am studying civil engineering at Northeastern University." She said, "In your case, Teacher Zhu has told me; he said you love to fight. One time you had a fight and the Heping District Government intervened. What happened?” At this time, I thought very slowly. I thought (I said to myself), 'Teacher Zhu has told you about my situation, so I have nothing to say; he said I love fighting', I replied: 'I don't think I love fighting, I don't remember when there is such a fight that the district government mediated for me." After hearing this, she stopped, turned away, and became silent.
我问她：“你是学什么专业的？”
过了一会儿，她转回身说：“我是学临床的。” 我表示不懂，她说：“说说你们土建吧，你们都干些什么？”
我从来没想过这个问题，回答：“我们土建看着工程很大，按程序分解后，到各部门人所做的具体工作，都说简单到加减乘除不带括号。设计上，第一堂课老师就告诉我们：粗梁胖柱深基础。就是楼房的梁，粗一点儿好，结实；柱子也是粗一点儿的好，结实；地基基础挖深一点好，承载力高。楼房建好后，不歪不倒是最重要的考虑。施工方面，先挖地基，挖个大坑，然后测承载力。承载力够了，就浇筑混凝土地基。就这么一步一步的向上盖楼。许多时候，我们一个月也碰不上一个技术问题，所以在工地，我们都没人谈技术，都谈些东家长西家短等没用的东西。”
I asked her: "What major do you major in?"
After a while, she turned back and said, "I'm a clinical major." I said I didn't understand, so she said: "Tell me about your civil engineering. What do you do?"
I have never thought about this question, answered: "Our civil engineering project looks very big. After breaking it down according to the procedures, the specific work done by people in each department is as simple as addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division without parentheses. In terms of design, the first the teacher in class told us: thick beams, fat columns, and deep foundations. That are the thicker columns and beams are better, stronger; deeper foundation is good, stable. The most important thing to consider is whether it will tilt or collapse. In terms of construction, first dig the foundation and then measure the bearing capacity, then pour the concrete foundation step by step. Normally we don’t encounter a single technical problem in a month, so at the construction site, no one talks about technology, but only useless things that are short-lived.”
刘健君问：“那你们建筑业就没有些复杂的？”
我心想，当然有，可那些我都没学明白！说：“建筑是传统行业，正常的是按规矩和过去的经验办事；很多复杂的东西，像我这样的人可能一辈子遇不上。对于那些，我们只是和其他人一样，看看热闹。”
她转过身去，又不说话了。
我不知如何是好，呆滞了。
Eve Liu asked: "Then your construction industry is not complicated?"
I thought to myself, “of course there is, but I haven’t learned that yet”, said: "Construction is a traditional industry, and it is normal to do things according to rules and past experiences; there are many complicated things that people like me may not encounter in a lifetime. For those, we are just like other people, watching the excitement."
She turned away and said nothing again.
I didn't know what to do and was sluggish.
她转回来，说：“也是！你和我聊建筑，就谈不起来。这里是路，咱们到那边走走。哎！我看你的脸色不好，你是不是病了？”她一再要送我去医院。
我回答我没病。她再次改变了去向，我们来到了路边的人行路。她不说话，走得很快。
She turned back and said, "That's right! You and I can't talk about architecture. This is the road, let's go for a walk over there. Hey! I see you don't look good. Are you sick?" she asked again and again, wanted to send me to the hospital.
I replied that I was not sick. She changed direction again and we came to the sidewalk at the side of the road. She didn't speak and walked very quickly.
7.3-5 玉女骑虎 Jade Girl Riding Tiger
我患了什么病？被女神创伤了。刘健君具有女神的外貌（参见10.8 《神的外貌》）和行为举止（即五百威仪十万八千魅力，参见16.2节《离垢地》）。她感召力强大，情绪、面目表情一直在迅速改变着，改主意像似出扑克牌似的。我的情感随着她在迅速变化着，从一见面就一次次地超越着极限。就这样，我被她刺激伤了，或说我被她房（剋）伤了。这是神病。现代医学中没有关于这种病的说法，他们也知道，但没人研究，因为原因太复杂，实验期最短五年，不出成果。
What is the disease I suffer from? Traumatized by the Goddess Eve Liu. She has the goddess appearance (see 10.8 Appearance of God) and demeanor (i.e., 500 Majesties 108,000 Charms, cf. 16.2 Leaving Filth Heartland). Her influencing power was so powerful, and her moods and facial expressions changed rapidly all the time, as if she were playing poker. My emotions were changing rapidly along with hers from the moment we met and went beyond the limits again and again. In this way, I was injured by her stimulation, or rather I was hurt by her aura (being besieged, being bottled, being pinched). This is a god disease (cf. 10.8 Appearance of God). There is nothing about this disease in modern medicine, and they know about it, but no one studies it, because the causes are too complex, the experimental period is five years at the shortest, and which is not fruitful often.
插图7.3-5-2是古墨西哥文化中与本文类似的案例。下面的D和C是墨西哥（又名特拉洛克Tlaloc）和翠玉女（Chalchiuhtlicue）年青时相亲的画面。图C显示翠玉女毫不留情地刺伤了墨西哥的心，正一口一口地蚕食着墨西哥的心。这图是墨西哥被翠玉女刺激伤后，堕入了地狱（即患了精神病），在地狱里画的。他就想啊，那时翠玉女年纪青青，没有这坏心眼儿，肯定是她爸舍利王，那个老魔鬼（如图B），和她妈妈，那个黑巫婆（如图A，蔻特鹠鸺 Coatlicue）唆使她这么干的。图D显示，墨西哥想出了舍利王（B）陷害自己的经过后，对舍利王的敬畏之心油然而生。
Illustration 7.3-5-2 is a case like this article in ancient Mexican culture. D and C below are scene of a blind date between Mexico (also known as Tlaloc) and Chalchiuhtlicue when they were young. Picture C shows that the Jade Girl stabbed Mexico's heart mercilessly and is eating away at Mexico's heart bit by bit. This picture was painted in hell after Mexico was stimulated and injured by Jade Girl and fell into hell (i.e., suffered from mental illness). He just thought that at that time, the jade girl was young and not so evil-minded. She must be her father, Huitzilopochtli, the old devil (picture B), and her mother, the black witch (picture A) Coatlicue instigated her to do this. Picture D shows that after Mexico figured out how the Huitzilopochtli (B) framed him, he was in awe of Huitzilopochtli.
图7.3-5-1是中华文化中与本文类似的案例，玉女骑虎，是说当金童被玉女刺激伤了，堕入地狱后，领悟了自己堕入地狱的原因是被玉女女神刺激伤了。据说当人恨仇人到了极点就想吃仇人的肉，所以古人说金童堕入地狱后变成了老虎。可是，玉女是女神，出神身血即堕地狱（参见13.1.1《地狱趣》），所以金童吃不到玉女的肉，所以古人把金童与玉女的关系比喻成了 “玉女骑虎”。
Figure 7.3-5-1 is a case like this article in Chinese culture. The Jade Girl Riding a Tiger means that when the golden boy was stimulated and injured by the Jade Girl and fell into hell, he realized that the reason why he fell into hell was because he was stimulated and injured by the Jade-Girl Goddess. It is said that when a person hates his enemy to the extreme, he wants to eat his enemy's flesh, so the ancients said that the golden boy turned into a tiger after falling into hell. However, the Jade Girl is a goddess, and bleeding god is a crime of Anti (see 13.1.1 "Hell Interest "), so the Golden Boy cannot eat the Jade Girl's flesh, so the ancients likened the relationship between the Golden Boy and the Jade Girl to "the Jade Girl riding a tiger".
7.3-6 惭愧 Ashamed
我赶忙跑着追了过去，问她：“你要带我去什么地方？”
刘健君回答：“不去什么地方。我们就是随便走走，你怎么这么想？”
我说：“你看你，走得那么快，就像似赶去约会。”
她好像忘记了不愉快：“啊！那我们走慢些。你的英语怎么样？”
I hurriedly ran after her and asked: "Where are you taking me?"
Eve Liu replied: "We're not going anywhere. We're just walking around. Why do you think so?"
I said: "Look at you, you are walking so fast, as if you are rushing to go on a date."
She seemed to have forgotten the unpleasantness: "Ah! Let's walk slower then. How is your English?"
我想了想，回答：“我上大学的时候，是二级；现在比那时好一些，正准备考六级。”
她听了就开始若有所思，说：“二级是什么呀！你竟瞎说，哪里有二级！”
我回答：“我以前是大专毕业。我们的英语就要求通过二级。”
她想了很长时间，说：“啊哦！我想起来了，我上高中的时候，考过一级。”
I thought for a while and answered: "When I went to college, I was in CET-2. Now I'm better than then, and I'm preparing to take the CET-6 exam."
After hearing this, she began to think deeply and said: "What is the second level! You are talking nonsense, where can there be a second level!"
I answered: "I used to graduate from a college. Our English requirement is CET-2."
She thought about it for a long time and said: "Oh! I remembered it. When I was in high school, I passed CET-1."
我问：“那你的英语现在是几级？”
她回答：“现在哪还有人说英语几级！不过，我是在大一上学期的时候，通过的六级。”
我听不懂：“大一上学期！上大学才半年，通过六级，那怎么可能呢！？”
她认真地回答：“是啊！我没记错，我肯定是大一上学期通过的！”
I asked: "What level is your English now?"
She replied: "How can anyone speak English levels nowadays? However, I passed CET-6 in the first semester of my freshman year."
I couldn’t understand: “First semester of freshman year! You’ve only been in university for half a year and passed CET-6. How is that possible!?”
She answered seriously: "Yes! I remember correctly, I must have passed it in the first semester of my freshman year!"
我想象不出来，我这时正愁考不过英语六级呢，没话说了。
她没话找话地说：“哎呀！听你这么一说，我把小时候的事都想起来了，感觉年轻了好多！”
随后的谈话，我多次找我熟悉擅长的话题，可都在几句话后落个一无是处。整个初次见面的过程中，我都像是一个小学生，而她是老师。
I couldn't imagine that I was worried about not being able to pass CET-6, and I had nothing to say.
She was speechless and said: "Oh! Listening to what you said, I remembered everything about my childhood, and I feel much younger!"
In subsequent conversations, I repeatedly looked for topics that I was familiar with and good at, but they all ended up useless after a few sentences. Throughout our first meeting, I felt like a primary school student and she was the teacher.
她问我：“你能找到回去的路不？”我才发现她带我回到医大的校门口了，路灯通明，意识到我早就迷失了方向和时间，回答：“能！我们和平房产局离这里不远，我对那一带很熟悉。”
离开时，我仍然没有多少身体的感觉，轻飘飘的，看着她笑着挥手和我告别，还挺高兴，认为有个这样的女朋友可真有面子。
She asked me: "Can you find the way back?" I realized that she had taken me back to the gate of the China Medical University. The streetlights were bright. I realized that I had lost my direction and time, so I replied: "Yes! Our Heping Housekeeping Bureau is not far from here, and I am familiar with that area.”
When I left, I still didn't have much physical feeling, and I felt light and airy. Seeing her smiling and waving goodbye to me, I was quite happy. I thought it was honorable to have such a girlfriend.
7.3-7 惭愧 Ashamed
随后我向几个同学询问：大一上学期通过英语六级考试，奇怪吗？韩华伟，他那时是学生会的组织部长，告诉我：“我是大二下学期通过的英语六级；我们班（尖子班）大部分人是大二下学期通过的。大一我也能通过六级，但分数低。那时候，我想申请奖学金。虽然英语六级不是评审科目，但如果我考了六级，那分数就会被列入评奖学金的参考。我怕分数低，不好看，就没考。我认为对于医大的学生来说，大一上学期过六级，应该是很好，但不特殊。”
再后来，遇到后文8.7节的那个医大的女朋友，我们也说到了此事。她说：“那是她们那个班要求的。那个班总考试，不合格就淘汰；淘汰率达到了30： “后来，有的学生受刺激了，家长们把医大告上了法庭。这个实验班的教学方法就被终止了，但这个班被保留下来了。这种教学方法就培养出来这么一个班，各个是真才实学。”
Then I asked several classmates: Is it strange that a person passed the CET-6 exam in her first semester of freshman year? Han Huawei, who was the organization director of the student union at the time, told me: “I passed CET-6 in the second semester of my sophomore year; most of the people in our class (the top class) passed it in the second semester of sophomore year. I can also do it as a freshman, but my score would be low. At that time, I wanted to apply for a scholarship. Although CET-6 was not an assessment subject, if I passed CET-6, my score would be included in the scholarship evaluation. I was afraid that my score would be low, it doesn’t look. I think it’s good for medical students to pass CET-6 in the first semester of their freshman year, but it’s not special.”
Later, when I met another girlfriend from China Medical University mentioned in Section 8.7 below, we also talked about this matter. She said: "That is what their class requires. If they fail those examinations of that class, they will be eliminated; the elimination rate reached 30%." Later, some students were irritated, and their parents took China Medical University to court. The teaching methods of this experimental class were discontinued, but the class was retained. This teaching method has produced a class where everyone is truly talented and practical."
7.4 她的印象 My Impression of Eve Liu
初次见面后的第二天的中午，祝老师来到我的房间，问我：“那晚你看刘健君怎么样？什么感觉？”
我认为人家肯定看不上我，回答：“没什么感觉，就是一次约会。她怎么说？”
祝老师继续问：“我是说你对她的容貌感觉怎么样？你们就见一次，还能产生强烈的感情！”
我想了想，回答：“我想不起来了，没看见（注1）。”
At noon the next day after our first meeting, Teacher Zhu came to my room and asked me: "What did you think of Eve Liu that night? What did it feel like?"
I thought she must look down on me, so I replied: "It doesn't feel like anything, it's just a date. What did she say?"
Teacher Zhu continued to ask: "I mean, how do you feel about her appearance? You only met once, and you still have strong feelings!"
I thought for a while and replied: "I can't remember, I didn't see it (Note 1)."
祝老师生气了：“你这么大个人去相亲，第一次见面，不就是看看模样吗！你怎么还不看呢！”
我觉得他说的有道理，对自己很生气，怎么什么也没看见呢！问他：“刘健君对我感觉怎么样？”
祝老师失望地说：“她也和你差不多，没什么感觉。这你说！她父母问我，卢岩看我们闺女，感觉怎么样？我怎么回答！下次你们见面时，你仔细看看她。”
我听说还有下一次，挺高兴。
Teacher Zhu was angry: "You are such an old man going on a blind date. It's your first time to meet, isn't it just to see how she looks! Why don't you look at her!"
I think what he said makes sense, and I am very angry with myself, why I didn’t see anything! Ask him: "How does Eve Liu feel about me?"
Teacher Zhu said disappointedly: "She is about the same as you, she doesn't feel anything. You tell me! Her parents asked me, how does Luyan feel about our daughter? How do I answer! Next time you meet, take a closer look at her.”
I heard that there will be a next time, which makes me very happy.
注7.4-1，我遇见她时，看见她了，可事后就忘了，对她的外貌和体征没有记忆。随后的时日，我努力回想过多次，回忆出来的画面支离破碎。仔细辨认，那些都是木头或石头形成的像，都不是她；再仔细看，里面是各种各样的无生命的垃圾。这种现象就是上图墨西哥地表女神卡特莉（约20至38.7岁的玉女，欧洲人亦作维纳斯）大腿根部由枯骨组成所表现的。
Note 7.4-1, I saw Eve Liu when I met her, but I forgot about her afterwards and had no memory of her appearance or physical signs. In the days that followed, I tried to recall it many times, but the images I recalled were fragmented. If I look carefully, I will see that those are statues made of wood or stone, and they are not her. If I look more carefully, I will see that there are all kinds of inanimate garbage inside. This phenomenon is shown in the picture 7.4-1 of the Mexican surface goddess Tlalcihuatl (a jade girl aged about 20 to 38.7 years old; Europeans also call it Venus) whose thighs are composed of dry bones.
7.4-2 巴甫洛夫楼 Pavlov Building
第二次见面是个下午，阳光明媚，约在医大门口。我去到那里时，只有她在那儿笔直地站着，像是个石头塑像一样，一动不动。我走过去问她：“你是刘健君吧？”
石女人就活了，笑容可掬地回答，“是我”；但她又立刻变得面无表情，若有所思的。她转身领我向医大里面走时，我看清了她背影的右侧，感觉她是批发市场卖服装的：中等身材，穿着件紧身牛仔裤，腰间挂着个BP机，裤脚挽着。她的屁股大且丰满，由此判断，她身体健壮。
The second meeting was an afternoon, sunny, at the main entrance of Medical University again. When I got there, she was the only one standing there straight, like a stone statue, motionless. I walked over to her and asked: "You're Eve Liu, right?"
The stone woman came to life and replied with a smile, "It's me"; but she immediately became expressionless and thoughtful again. When she turned to lead me towards the inside of the Medical University, I could see the right side of her back and felt that she was a wholesale market seller of clothing: medium-sized, wearing a piece of tight jeans, with a BP machine hanging from her waist, and her pants pulled up by the legs. Her ass is big and plump, judging from this, she is physically fit.
她像还是对我很生气，不说话，我跟着她走了很远。忽然，她指着一栋楼问我：“这栋楼叫巴甫洛夫楼，你知道吗？这是什么地方？”
我回答：“你没说时，我不知道；现在知道了。这牌子上写着：国际医学交流中心（注2）。”
她又问：“你知道巴甫洛夫吗？”
我愣了一下，支吾地回答：“初中生理卫生书上的，那个发现条件反射的俄国生物学家。”
She seemed angry with me and didn't say anything as I followed her for a long distance. Suddenly, she pointed to a building and asked me: "This building is called the Pavlov Building. What is this place?"
I replied: "I didn't know when you didn't say, now I do. The sign says: International Medical Exchange Center (Note 2)."
She asked again: "Do you know Pavlov?"
I froze for a moment and answered in a stuttering voice: "From my junior high physiology and hygiene book, the Russian biologist who discovered conditioned reflexes."
她走进我，说：“对了！对了！我就是这个意思。我想对你说，这楼里有很多组织或公司都不属于中国医科大学。”
我被气得几乎蹦了起来，回答，“啊！” 我站着不动，不跟她走了。
她走去一段距离后，回来了，对我说：“我也发现我今天的表现特别。”
我回答：“医大里到处都是楼；你们医学院有一栋楼以巴甫洛夫命名，并不奇怪！”
She walked in on me and said: "That's right! That's right! That's what I meant. I'm trying to tell you that there are a lot of organizations or companies in this building that aren't part of the CMU."
I was so exasperated that I almost jumped up and replied, "Ah!" I stood still, not following her.
She walked away for some distance and came back and said to me: "I also realized that I was special today."
I replied: "There are buildings all over the medical school; it's not surprising that your medical school has a building named after Pavlov!"
她说：“不奇怪！我怎么想起说这个？你等我想想！”
我说，“算了，别提这事了”，但她坚持要发现原因。过了一会儿，她说：“是这么回事，我高中的时候，在这楼里上过一个学习班。我对那个班的感觉很好。我来医大十来年了，唯独对这栋楼有感情，所以走到这儿，就随口问你了。”
She said: "Not surprising! Why did I remember to say that? Wait for me to think about it!"
I said: "Forget it, let's not talk about it," but she insisted on discovering why. After a while, she said, "Here's the thing, when I was in high school, I took a study class in this building. I have a good feeling about that class. I've been coming to the medical university for about ten years now, and this building is the only one I have feelings for, so when I walked here, I just casually asked you."
我问：“你上大学的时候，也在这楼里上课吗？”
她回答：“没有，我只在高中时在里面上过课，也许上大学和研究生的时候在里面参加过会议。”
我跟着她走到了校门口，她说她要去喂她毕业论文实验的小白鼠，就走开了。我感觉气愤：我这么远来了，她就领我在校园里走一圈，可能少于45分钟。
I asked: "Did you take classes in this building when you were in college?"
She replied: "No, I only took classes in it in high school and maybe attended conferences in it when I was in college and graduate school."
I followed her to the entrance of the school, where she said she had to go feed the mice for her thesis experiment and walked away. I felt exasperated: I'd come all this way, and she'd just lead me on a walk around campus, probably less than 45 minutes.
注解7.4.2，2014年我写完回忆录后，逐渐地明白了。这是刘团长让她告诉我。巴甫洛夫楼是她的高中所在地，是4.5节报纸新闻中所说的女子组集中培训的地方，是这个真人医学实验的指挥中心，是我的第二出生地。我写回忆录时发现巴甫洛夫楼，对我能串联起此前的那些孤立事件极为重要。《卢岩回忆录》中的前因后果，和巴甫洛夫狗的条件反射类似，只是事情复杂了些，时间跨度大了些。
Note 7.4.2, which gradually dawned on me after I wrote my memoirs in 2014. This is what Troupe Leader Liu told her to tell me. The Pavlov Building was the location of her high school, the place where the girl's group was intensively trained as described in the newspaper news in Section 4.5, the command center of this real-life medical experiment, and my second birthplace. The discovery of the Pavlov Building while I was writing my memoirs was extremely important to my being able to connect the dots of the isolated events that preceded it. The antecedents in The Luyan’s Memoirs are like the conditioning of Pavlov's dogs, except that things are a little more complicated and span a little more time.
7.4-3 福 Fortune
她忽然跑回来喊我回去，腼腆地笑着说：“我忘跟你说了，你得学英语，学英语得多听录音。以后，我把我学托福、GRE时候的英语磁带给你找出来（注3）。” 说完，她回去了。
我听了很高兴，但随后觉得不对劲。我不知道她通过了GRE考试。她让我学英语，跟她去美国，可我们才刚刚认识。她把我当成别的男朋友了。她有多少个男朋友才会把人弄错了？得至少五个以上。我可不能和她浪费时间了。
She suddenly ran back and called me back. She smiled shyly and said, "I forgot to tell you. You must learn English. To learn English, you must listen to the recordings. Later, I will find it out and give you the English tapes from when I was learning TOEFL and GRE (note 3).” After that, she went back.
I was happy to hear that, but then I felt something was wrong. I didn't know she passed the GRE. She asked me to learn English and go to the United States with her, but we had just met. She thinks of me as another boyfriend. How many boyfriends does she have to have before she gets the wrong guy? Got to be at least five. I can't waste any more time with her.
注解7.4.3，这她是怎么回事？后来有一次，祝老师一再追问我和她之间的事，我提到了这件怪事。祝老师听了，反应强烈：“这是她说的！“ 他站起来就跑了。这是怎么回事？我写完回忆录后，逐渐地分析出了刘团长的用意。祝老师的反应告诉我，刘健君的那个行为是刘团长设计并让她做给我的，“赐福给我”。
Note 7.4.3, what’s going on with her? Later, Teacher Zhu repeatedly asked me about what happened between her and me, and I mentioned this strange incident. Teacher Zhu listened and reacted strongly: "That's what she said!" He stood up and ran away. How is this going? After I finished writing my memoirs in 2014, I gradually analyzed Troupe Leader Liu’s intentions. Teacher Zhu's reaction told me that Eve Liu's behavior was designed by Troupe Leader Liu and asked her to do it for me, "bless me."
幸福快乐的刘健君是女神，是福；悲伤哭泣的她是殃。我卢岩遇见她就是遇见殃了，因为她瞧不起我，认为有我这样的男朋友是她的耻辱。我和她生气吵架就是“冒犯女神” ，是在违反自然法，所以我病了。从那时起，我的生活中少有快乐，见到她，想起她就是在遭殃。我写回忆录时也是这样。刘健君给我的印象当中，就这个场面让我感到些欣慰。她跑回来的姿态是个不常运动的女孩子形象，有骨头有肉的；说话时的形象是个恋爱怀春的姑娘。
The happy Eve Liu is a Goddess and a Fortune; she who is sad and crying is a Misfortune. It was a Misfortune for me, Luyan, when I met her, because she looked down on me and thought it was a shame for her to have a boyfriend like me. When I got angry and argued with her, I was "offending the goddess" and violating natural law, so I became sick. From then on, there was little happiness in my life. Seeing her and thinking about her were disasters. The same thing happened when I wrote my memoirs. Among the impressions Eve Liu left on me, this scene made me feel a little relieved. The way she ran back was that of a girl who doesn't exercise often, with bones and flesh; when she spoke, she looked like a girl in love and pregnant with youth.
插图7.4-3-1是中华文化中的福的标志，是说人三岁之前的记忆力量强大，是福。图7.4-3-2是墨西哥文化中福的标志，那女人是墨西哥之母翠玉女。那个男孩是她和墨西哥的儿子。在传说中，那孩子就是灵龙，用来表示她是众生之母。墨西哥国旗上的那只鹰代表投胎卡特莉，是觉悟之前的翠玉女。
Illustration 7.4-3-1 is a symbol of Fortune in Chinese culture. It means that the memory of a person before the age of three is a powerful Fortune. Figure 7.4-3-2 is the symbol of Fortune in Mexican culture. The woman is Chalchiuhtlicue, the mother of Mexico. In real life, the boy was her and Mexico's son. In the legend, the child is Quetzalcoatl, which is used to indicate that she is the mother of all living beings. The eagle on the Mexican flag represents Tlaltecuhtli, Chalchiuhtlicue before enlightenment.
7.5 超渡 Transcendent Ferry
目录 Catalog：7.5.1 治疗恩怨情仇病 Treatment of Illness of Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred；7.5.2 无所得 No Objective Gain；7.5.3 慧伤痴 Gnosis Harms Ignorance；7.5.4 觉悟的特质 Trait of Conscientiousness；7.5.5 给舅舅送终 Sending My Uncle Away；7.5.6 圆满 Perfect Fulfillment；7.5.7 想去哪儿去哪儿To Think Where to Go is Arriving There； 7.5.8 神通正等明 Connection with Correct Equality Light
7.5.0 序言 Preface
这时，我舅舅是肺癌晚期，还和家里人打架。我想去和舅舅道别，可又不知道该说些什么。刘健君的硕士论文是研究肺癌的，我去向她请教。她说，可能在过去，他积累了一些恩怨情仇或者有些事没做完，要死了，没时间了，所以烦心和家里人打架。
我问：“我想去和他告别，该说些什么？我正犯愁呢！怎么说？”
她回答：“超渡（如图7.5）人的那几句话效果最好。”
At this time, my uncle had terminal lung cancer and was fighting with his family. I wanted to go and say goodbye to my uncle, but I didn't know what to say. Eve Liu’s master's thesis is on lung cancer, so I went to ask her for advice. She said that maybe in the past, he had accumulated some favor grudge love revenge or some unfinished business, and was dying, had no time, so he was annoyed to fight with his family.
I asked: "I want to go and say goodbye to him, what should I say? I'm having a hard time! What to say?"
She replied: "Those few sentences of the Transcendently Ferry (see figure 7.5) work best."
我也听说过有那么几句话，要死的人爱听，听了就乐，但很少人知道那几句话，知道的也不会轻易告诉别人。我问她那几句话是什么。她听了就跑，还笑，说：“我不行！我不知道（注1）！”
我气愤地嚷：“你跑什么呀！你觉得那几句话效果好，那不是你知道一些吗！”
她说给我讲也行，但不能坏了规矩，得先跪下给她磕头，叫她师傅。
I have also heard that there are those few sentences that dying people love to hear and they laugh when hear them. Very few people know those sentences, and those who know them don't tell others easily. I asked her what those sentences are. When Eve Liu heard me, she ran away and laughed, saying: "I can't do it! I don't know (Note 1)!"
I shouted angrily: "Why are you running away! If you think those few words are effective, you know something about it?"
She said it was okay to tell me, but should not break the traditional rules, I must kneel and kowtow to her first and call her master.
我快被她给气晕了，血压一次次地冲击天盖骨：我才不给你跪下磕头呢！
过了一会儿，她说：“我爸常给他的朋友讲这事儿。我从小就爱听，每次都觉得听懂了，可我爸就说我不明白，不许我跟别人说。”
我奇怪地问：“你从小就听，现在都26岁了，研究生快毕业了，怎么就不懂，不能讲呢！？你爸爸对明白的要求高，定义不同。那你爸说什么是明白？”
I almost fainted from my anger, and my blood pressure hit my skull again and again: I'm not going to get down on my knees and kowtow to you!
After a while, she said: "My dad often tells this to his friends. I have loved listening to it since I was a child, and I feel like I understand it every time. But my dad says I don't understand and doesn't allow me to tell others."
I asked curiously: "You have been hearing this since you were a child. Now you are 26 years old and are about to graduate from graduate school. Why don't you understand and can't speak!? Your father has a high standard and a different definition for understanding. So, what does your father mean by understanding?”
她说：“我爸爸说，用你自己的话明白不算明白，用书上的话明白，也不算。你得用对方的话，把对方讲得，明白得像是全身透明儿似的，我算你明白。”
我又惊讶又迷惑地问：“心理机制学能像数学或机械学那么精确，达到100%吗！？”
她回答：“我和你的想法一样；可我爸说，他能！”
She said: "My father said that if you understand it in your own words, it doesn't count. If you understand it in the words of books, it doesn't count. You must use your component’s words and explain it to he or her so that he or she understands it as if he is completely transparent. Then, I count you as understanding."
Surprised and perplexed, I asked: "Can psychological mechanics be as precise as math or mechanics, up to 100 percent!"
She replied: "I think like you; but my dad says he can!"
注解7.5-1，佛教律法中有说，五地（参见第16章的道谛）菩萨可以给人讲自己证明了的佛法；八地及以上的大菩萨才有资格通讲佛法。笔者我小时候在一本佛学杂志上读到过，和尚说：“这说法自古就有，我们也赞同。但是八地以上的大菩萨太少了。以至于，我们都有困难举行佛教仪式，因为佛经说，没有一位摩诃萨（即佛，俗称大菩萨、大和尚、大尼姑、大真人）在场，那仪式不是佛教仪式。可我们不讲，佛法就变得越来越少了。我们研究决定：‘我们这么说，我们都是佛的弟子，我们是师兄师姐，你们后来的是师弟师妹，咱们一起研究，共同学习’。”
Note 7.5-1, it is said in Buddhist law that Bodhisattvas in the fifth land (see Chapter 16) can teach people the laws that they have proven; only great Bodhisattvas in the eighth land and above are qualified to preach Buddhism. The author read in a Buddhist magazine when I was a child. The monk said: "This saying has been around since ancient times, and we agree with it. But there are too few great Bodhisattvas above the eighth land. As a result, it is difficult for us to hold Buddhist ceremonies because Buddhist scriptures say that if a Mahasattva (Buddha, commonly known as a great Bodhisattva, a great monk, a great nun, or a great real human) is not present, then the ceremony is not a Buddhist ceremony. But if we don’t talk about it, the law will become less and less for us. After studying and deciding: 'Let's put it this way, we are all disciples of the Buddha, we are senior brothers and sisters, and those who come after are junior brothers and sisters. Let's study and learn together.'"
7.5.1 治疗恩怨情仇病 Treatment of Illness of Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred
刘健君开始给我讲超渡这几句话。她先询问我舅舅从小到老的个人经历，像似巫医和算命先生那样的问题。一边问，她一边指出结症的所在。比如打死过几只黄鼠狼（注，有些心理疾病具有地区文化性），文化大革命中他毁掉了许多他舅舅的道教器具和经书。她说这些问题都要解决。
刘健君说：“先解决家庭的财产纠纷，安排他死后财产的归属。孩子们都应该表现出顺从他的遗愿，让他走得安心。”
我说：“这一点是显然的，说下一条吧！”
Eve Liu began to give me the words Transcendent Ferry by asking questions about my uncle's personal experiences from childhood to old age, like those of a witch doctor and a fortune teller. As she asked, she pointed out where the knotty problems lay. For example, he had killed a few weasels (note, some mental illnesses are regionally cultural), and he had destroyed many of his uncle's Taoist instruments and scriptures during the Cultural Revolution. She says these issues need to be addressed.
Eve Liu said: "First, you should settle the family's property disputes and arrange for the ownership of his property after his death. The children should all show obedience to his last wishes so that he can go in peace."
I said: "This is obvious, say the next clause!"
她说：“第二条是治疗恩怨情仇病（注，即精神病）。得了这种病，不能去医院看医生。医院的精神病科医生懂不懂精神病是另一个问题；他们真的很忙，忙着挣钱，没时间给病人看病。”
我被逗笑了：“那怎么办？找谁去？”
她说：“得了这种病就得找明白人；或者自己看书，从书上找解决办法。”
我问：“我怎么能发现他和谁有仇，在因为什么闹心？”
She said: "The second clause is the treatment of the Illness of Favor Grudge Love and Revenge (note, i.e., mental illness). You can't go to a hospital and see a doctor when you have this disease. Whether or not the psychiatrists in hospitals understand mental illness is another question; they are really busy, too busy earning money to see patients."
I was amused: "What then? Who to go to?"
She said: "If you have this kind of disease, you have to find someone who understands it; or you can read books yourself and find solutions from books (note, modern psychology books are also reliable, not psychiatry books)."
I asked: "How can I find out who he has a grudge against and why he is so upset?"
她回答：“我刚才不是在询问他的个人历史么！你到他家后，要注意观察他家的布置，比如墙上的画，后院的神龛什么的；跟亲戚朋友唠嗑时，你就留意于发现问题。你舅舅他自己也会跟你说，因为他对那事闹心。”
她继续说：“恩怨情仇病的病理就是，以前跟恩人、冤家、情人或仇人等发生了诤执，一般还是有些误会。这人就耿耿于怀；日子久了，诤劫进入了无意识，就成为心理疾病了。治疗的办法就是把恩人、冤家、情人或仇人找来，面对面地把矛盾解决了。人不见面，病治不好（注1）。见面三分情，很少有不能把矛盾谈开的。病人的心结解开了，病就好了。”
She replied: "Didn't I just ask about his personal history? After you arrive at his home, you should pay attention to the decoration of his home, such as the paintings on the wall, the shrine in the backyard, etc.; when chatting with relatives and friends, you should pay attention to find problems, and your uncle will tell you himself because he is worried about it. "
She continued: "The pathology of ‘favor grudge love and revenge’ disease is that one has previously had a quarrel obsession with a benefactor, a wrongdoer, a lover, or an enemy, etc., and there is generally still some misunderstanding. This person then holds an obsession; as time passes, the obsession enters the unconscious, and it becomes a mental illness. The way to cure it is to bring the benefactor, the wrongdoer, the lover, or the enemy, and resolve the conflict face to face. If people don't meet, the disease cannot be cured (note 1). Meeting has 30% humanity, there are very few conflicts that cannot be talked out. When the patient's knot is untied, the disease is cured."
我感觉为难了，说：“这不是几句话的事，这要能言善辩的人说和，从中调解。看来，我学不了这事儿。没知识，没经验，我还不健谈。”
注7.5-1,此中治疗心理疾病的原理是佛的六种主要觉悟（即等、正、生、老、病、死, 参见15.1节）中的对病的觉悟（参见10.6 治疗心理疾病的原则）。
I felt difficult and said: "This is not a matter of a few words. It requires eloquent people to make peace and mediate. It seems that I can't learn this. I have no knowledge and experience, and I am not good at talking."
Note 7.5-1, the principle of treating mental illness (see 10.6 Principles of Curing Mental Illness) is an enlightenment to illness among the six main enlightenments of Buddha. The six enlightenments are equality, correct, birth, aging, illness, and death (see section 15.1).
7.5.1-2 法眼 Juristic Eye
她反驳道：“你错了！你还真就能办这事儿。如果你不行，从开始我就不会给你讲。我看你行，才说的。”
我迷惑不解：“你什么时候看我能行？”
她说：“这事你得这么看，学办事与性格有关。就这事，如果没有合适的性格，有的人学两、三年也整不好。你有这性格，现在我把道理和办事步骤给你讲清楚。如果你在舅舅家碰上这事，你办起来就得心应手，能办成。如果你不行，我也不能给你讲啊！那，人家那里要死人了，我怂恿你过去，打架生气，什么正面作用没有。那我办得是什么事！我有那么缺德吗！”
She retorted: "You're wrong! You can really do this. If you couldn't, I wouldn't have told you about it from the beginning. I saw that you could, so I said it."
I was confused: "When did you see that I could do it?"
She said: "You should look at it this way. Learning how to do affairs is related to personality. As for this matter, if learners don't have the right personality, some people won't be able to learn it for two or three years. You have this personality, now I explain the principles and procedures clearly to you. If you encounter this matter at your uncle's house, you'll be able to handle it easily. If you can't, I wouldn’t explain it to you at the beginning. People are dying there, and I'm encouraging you to go over there to fight and get angry, which has no positive effect. Then what kind of work am I doing! Am I that unethical!"
我问：“我有什么性格？你怎么知道的？”
她说：“咱俩上次见面的时候，你和现在就不一样。当时，你笑呵呵的，那样儿，我都没认出来你！直到你问我，‘你是刘健君吗？’我就愣住了，心想：怎么还换人了呢！谈恋爱这事儿还带换人的！我想了好长时间，才想明白：你是个多重性格的人。就在刚才，你又变了，幸亏我知道了；若不然，可被你吓着了！截止现在，我看出来你有三个性格，其中一个就能办这事。”
I asked: "What is my personality? How do you know that?"
She said: "The last time we met, you and now are different. At that time, you were smiling, like that, I didn't even recognize you! Until you asked me, 'Are you Eve Liu?' I froze, thinking how come the person is changed! How come the person replaced in the affair of falling in love! I thought about it for a long time before I realized: you are a person with multiple personalities. Just now, you changed again! Fortunately, I knew, otherwise, can be scared by you! As of now, I see that you have three personalities, and one of them can do this."
她给我解释了好多，还举例子。我根本听不懂，处于云里雾里，问：“怎么能确定，我在我舅舅家的时候，刚好是那种能超渡人的性格？”
她说：“你的性格随着环境的改变而改变。现在你这性格是溜边儿、躲躲闪闪。你到你舅舅家，如果碰到这种情况，你就自然而然地变了；你就勇敢起来了，挺身而出。你相信我，这点事儿，我100%不会看错。这事儿只要有人牵头，就能办成。谁和谁有多大的仇，不能原谅一个将死的人。”
She explained a lot to me and gave me examples. I couldn't understand it at all, was confused, so I asked: "How can you be sure that when I was at my uncle's house, I happened to have the kind of personality that can transcendently ferry people?"
She said: "Your personality changes with your environment. Right now, this personality of yours is to slip around the edges and hide. When you go to your uncle's house, if you come across such a situation, you change naturally; you get brave and stand up for yourself. Believe me, I am 100% not wrong about this. This is something that can be done if someone takes the lead. Anyone who has a grudge against anyone can't forgive someone who's going to die."
注7.5-2，法即轨持。我认为本文刘健君的这种看人神态的能力就是法眼。她的这个能力是从她家的一本书和父母学来的。那本书，俗称《天书》，是我故乡的法师（即牧师）和算命先生的通用教材，但只以师徒相传的方式传播，不公开贩售，我听说过很多次，没见过。根据传说的描述，我认为那套《天书》实际就是古典心理学，书中以金童玉女为基本模型（如图7.5.1-2；参见10.9《三位一体》）。
7.5.2 无所得 No Objective Gain
刘健君问我：“你对人一生能得到些什么，怎么看？”
我回答：“人死如灯灭，也没有能得的主体呀！不过人过留名，雁过留声！”
刘健君回答：“我也是这么认为的。世事无常，人死如灯灭，这第三条就讲人生无所得，万法皆空，无罪无福（注1）。我爸说，要死的人就爱听这句话，听了就乐。如果你和快要死了的人告别，只有机会说一句话，就说这句。无所得的解脱力非常大，是出世间智。这一条就围绕无所得来说。”
Eve Liu asked me: "What do you think about what people can get in life?"
I replied: "People die like lights out, and there is no subject that is capable to gain! But people leave their names behind, and geese leave their sounds!"
Eve Liu replied: "I also think so. Things are impermanent and people die like a lamp going out, this clause talks about life without gain, all laws are empty, and there is no sin or fortune (Note 1). My dad said that the liberating power of gainless is very great, and it is wisdom of transcending mundaneness. People who are dying love to hear this and are happy to hear it. If you're saying goodbye to someone who's dying and only have a chance to say one sentence, say this. This clause revolves around no gain."
注7.5.2-1，日常人的每一个行为都会产生业习气，因此有罪和福的业报（即报应）。读者当知，本文的谈话对象是个将死之人。死人无受，故 “无罪无福”。但，人的生命分为智慧生命和身命（即形体寿命）两部分。智慧生命如发明创造，所撰写的书籍，名声等；形体命终后，智慧生命还会生存多年，甚至千年。形体会腐朽，化成泥土和青烟，不会变得什么都没有。
Note 7.5.2-1, every behavior of ordinary people will produce habitual karma, so there will be sinful and fortunate karmic recompenses (i.e. retribution). The reader should be aware that the person in this article is talking to a dying person. The dead have no acceptance, so "no sin, no fortune”. However, human life can be divided into two parts: intellectual life and physical life. Intelligent life such as inventions, books written, reputation, etc.; after the death of the physical body, intelligent life will survive for many years, even thousands of years. The flesh body will decay and turn into soil and smoke, but it will not become nothing.
佛经中有这样的说法。一、般若无所得，二、波罗蜜无所得，三、菩萨无所得，四、摩诃萨无所得。般若无所得，以实性无性故。转换成现代汉语：一、智慧无所得，二、到彼岸无所取，三、真人没得到什么，四、大真人（或佛，或上帝）也什么都没得到。什么都没得到的原因是实性无。
There is this saying in the Buddhist scriptures. 1. Prajna (i.e. gnosis) has nothing to gain, 2. Paramita (i.e. arriving at another shore, Arrival Ark, Noah’s Ark) has nothing to gain, 3. Bodhisattva (i.e. real human) gain nothing, and 4. Mahasattva (i.e. Buddha, God, and Goddess) has gained nothing. Gainless because there is no factual nature.
7.5.2-2 慧眼 Gnostic Eye
刘健君问我：“他们说，人死的时候，想去哪儿去哪儿，你是怎么看的？”
我回答：“那是人已经没呼吸了，还有思想活动，进入了幻觉状态。他想像中的像就是幻境的境，想去哪儿的想立刻取来了目标地的像；幻境立刻变成了目标地的环境，他就已经到达了想去的地方。”
刘健君想了一会儿，说：“我从小就听我爸讲，可我以前就没像你说的这么想。我认为你说得对；我以前想错了。”
Eve Liu asked me: "They say that when people die, they can go wherever they want. What do you think?"
I replied: "That is because the person has no breathing, still has thought activities, and has entered a state of hallucination. The image in his imagination is the hallucinational environment. When he wants to go somewhere, his Think immediately fetches the image of the destination; the hallucinational state immediately changes into the destinate environment becomes the destination, therefore he has been instantly translocated to where he wants to go.”
Eve Liu thought for a while and said: "I have listened to my dad since I was a child, but I never thought like you said before. I think you are right; I thought wrong before."
我说：“我听说这几句超渡的话很特别，有些人说不出口，必须按照书上写的说，差一个字也不行。你爸爸是怎么说的？”
她说：“我爸说，不能用书上的话，不能用你自己的话，你要用对方的话给对方讲明白。但是，我懂你的意思，我想想我爸是怎么说的，给你找几个话题。” 她走到了一边去想，不说话了。
I said: "I heard that these few sentences of Transcendently Ferry are very special. Some people cannot open their mouth to say them. People must say them according to what is written in the book, without mistaking a single word. What did your father say?"
She said: "My dad said, you can't use the words in the book, you can't use your own words. You must use the opponent’s words to explain it clearly to he or her. But I understand what you mean. I want to think about what my dad said and find several topics for you." She walked aside to think about it and stopped talking.
我等得着急，就几次过去提醒她，换了几种说法：“这事要从外界都是内心的投影考虑。比如在这里，就在这儿，依心，即这棵树，为中心，来投射外界（环境1）。” 我一边说，一边对她做着肢体的表示。“你向外看。忽然，你看见了那座雕像，心想：那是什么？”我拉她来到了雕像旁，说：“就与此同时，大脑把那座雕像放大了，新的世界相应地生成了（环境2）。你忽略我们来到这里的过程，幻觉世界里，这过程是一刹那就完成的。我们从以那棵树为中心的世界（环境1）来到了以这个雕像为中心的世界（环境2）；这就是幻觉世界里的瞬间变化：想去哪儿去哪儿（即瞬间转移，亦作天腿通，如图15.2.2-38）。”
I was waiting impatiently, so I went over to remind her several times and changed my words: "This matter must be considered from the outside world as a projection of the heart. For example, right here, with the heart, that is, this tree, as the center, to project the outside world (Environment 1)." I said while making physical gestures to her. "You looked outside. Suddenly, you saw the statue and thought: What is that?" I pulled her to the statue and said: "At the same time, the brain magnified the statue, and the new world (Environment 2) is generated accordingly. You ignore the process of us getting here. In the world of hallucination, this process is completed in an instant, from the world centered on the tree (Environment 1) to the world centered on this statue (Environment 2). It is an instantaneous change in the world of hallucination: you can go wherever you want (i.e. instant transfer, teleportation, see fig. 7.5.2.2-38)."
她忽然说：“我想起来啦！我不说看见你就想起了我爸爸么！已经两三次了。我终于发现你么俩哪里相像了。在讲这个的时候，我爸爸就像你似的，老是从不同的角度说，还举不同的例子，一边说，还一边比画。在这方面，你们俩一样一样的。”
She suddenly said: "I remembered! Didn't I think of my dad when I saw you? It has been two or three times. I finally found out how similar you two are. When talking about this, my dad is just like you, always speaking from different angles, giving different examples, and showing pictures at the same time. In this regard, you two are the same."
注7.5.2.2-1，天眼是如图7.5.2.2-1至8的经历。作者我小时候练过气功（参见第12章《禅》），经历过，所以我能思考幻觉世界里的现象如天腿通（图38），他心通（图37），天耳通等。这种知识，佛教中称作慧，亦作慧眼。慧眼是个心眼儿，从喻得名。刘健君没有足够的幻觉经历，慧根（天眼）有缺失，所以她不能思考幻觉世界里的事。另外，人的语言形成之前必须有完备的思想环境，刘健君的思想取不到现象，头脑中不能形成幻觉环境，所以她不能开口说话（见下文），来谈论幻境。
Note 7.5.2.2-1, Celestial Eye is the experience shown in Figures 7.5.2.2-1 to 8. The author, I practiced meditation (see Chapter 12 "Meditation") and experienced it when I was a child, so I can think about phenomena in the hallucinational world, such as Celestial Leg (Figure 38), Reading Other Heart (Picture 37), Celestial Ear, etc. This kind of knowledge is called Gnosis in Buddhism, also known as the Gnostic Eye. Gnostic Eye is a “heart eye”, gets its name from the metaphor. Eve Liu did not have enough hallucinational experience so her gnostic root (Celestial Eye) was deficient, so she could not think about affairs in the hallucination world. In addition, there must be a complete inner mental environment before the formation of human language. Eve Liu's mind cannot obtain hallucinational phenomena, so the hallucination environment cannot be formed in her mind, so she cannot speak (see below) to talk about phenomena of hallucinations.
7.5.2-3 刘健君不能说Eve Liu can’t Say.
我回答：“你想什么呢！我又没见过你爸爸，我的行为怎么可能像他呢！”
刘健君说：“我知道你们俩没见过，我就说你们俩的动作、表情和说话的方式相像。好了，现在我来想他说过什么！” 忽然，她转身跑了。
我追过去，发现她害怕我，怕得快要哭了。我站在远处，问：“怎么了？你怕什么？”
她说：“以前我听我爸讲，就感觉奇怪，说得跟真的似的。我才明白，你们俩都去过那儿！”
I replied: "What are you thinking! I've never met your father; how could I behave like him!"
Eve Liu said: "I know you two have never met, so I just said that your movements, expressions and ways of speaking are similar. Okay, now let me think about what he said!" Suddenly, she turned and ran away.
I chased after her, found that she was afraid of me, was about to cry. I stood far away and asked: "What's wrong? What are you afraid of?"
She said: "When I heard my dad tell it before, I thought it was strange, and it sounded like it is true. Then I realized that you both have been there!"
我反应过来了，说：“我们不是在谈幻觉吗？就算是去过那儿（死亡的世界），又回来了，不就没死么！”
她回来后说：“刚才，我又想错了！现在我告诉你我爸爸是怎么说的。”
我认真地听，可我听不见她说话。我靠近她，看着她的嘴在动，可我听不见。我探身，耳朵凑到了她的嘴边，还是听不见。我着急地说：“你等会儿说，我的耳朵突然出毛病了，听不见声音了。我开始在一边测试我自己的听力。
她说：“我没出声，你怎么能听得见！”
I came to my senses and said: "Aren't we talking about hallucinations? Even if I have been the world of death and came back, I am not dead!"
When she came back, she said: "Just now, I thought wrong again! Now I will tell you what my father said."
I listened carefully, but I couldn't hear her. I got close to her and watched her mouth move, but I couldn't hear it. I leaned forward and put my ear to her mouth but still couldn't hear. I said anxiously: "You will tell me later, something suddenly happened to my ears, and I couldn't hear the sound.” I started to test my own hearing on the side.
She said: "I didn't make a sound; how could you hear me!"
我发现我听到了，反应过来后，气得蹦起来了，喊道：“不说话，你动嘴干什么！啊！你在戏弄我，这一点儿都不好笑！”
她说：“我知道这不好笑，也没逗你玩。我想说，可我想不起来怎么说。”
我说：“你从小就听你爸爸给别人讲，到现在，至少听了上百回了，怎么可能，连一句也没记住？”
I realized that I heard it, and when I reacted, I jumped up in anger and shouted: "If you don't speak, why are you moving your lips? Ah! You are teasing me; this is not funny at all!"
She said: "I know it's not funny, and I'm not kidding you. I want to say it, but I can't remember how to say it."
I said: "You have listened to your father telling others since you were a child. You have listened to it at least hundreds of times now. How is it possible that you haven't remembered even a single sentence?"
她回答：“是呀！我也感觉奇怪！这是怎么了？我怎么不能说话了呢！诶呀！你整我！”
我没听懂。
刘健君又说，“那我为什么说不出来呢（参见前面的注解）！？”
She replied: "Yes! I feel strange too! What's going on? Why can't I speak! Hey! You are trying to pinch me!"
I did not understand.
Eve Liu added: "Then why can't I say it (see previous note)!?"
7.5.3 慧伤痴 Gnosis Harms Ignorance
我回答：“我刚刚认识你，整你干什么！再说，我哪里有那样的本事，能让你说不出话来！”
刘健君叨咕：“我也感觉奇怪，刚刚认识，你怎么老是整我呢！你是没能力让我说不出话来。这一条，我认为你说得对。你懂这个，在给你舅舅讲的时候，你就按顺序，系统地说。他经历过的，听了就明白了。没经历过的，他知道了，以后遇见不害怕。”
I replied: "I just met you, why am I trying to pinch you! Besides, I don't have the ability to make you speechless!"
Eve Liu muttered: "I feel strange too. We just met, why do you keep pinching me! Indeed! You don't have the ability to make me speechless. I think you are right about this clause. You understand this when you talk to your uncle you explain it in systematically sequence. He will understand what he has experienced, to those he has not experienced, he will not be afraid when he encounters it in the future. "
可我瞪着眼睛，不知道这条该说什么，该如何给我舅舅讲。
她说：“现在我帮你把咱俩讨论过的这几条内容整理一下。”讲完后，让我给她讲。
刘健君听了我讲超渡这几句话后，非常生气，说：“你整我！怎么你讲的比我讲的好呢？还一套一套的，你知道还问我干什么！”
But I stared, not knowing what to say or how to tell my uncle.
She said: "Now I'm going to help you organize these items we've discussed." After speaking, she asked me to lecture her.
When Eve Liu heard me speak these clauses of the Transcendental Ferry, she was very angry and said: "You're pinching me! How is it that you speak better than I do? It's also many sets of words, why do you ask me if you know!"
我回答：“我不知道！我以前在一本杂志上看过大般若经的序言，我不懂，觉着如果背下来，将来能懂，我就有了些优点。即便弄不懂，这几句文采飞扬，我也可以用它乍现异相、哗众取宠，说一些谁也听不懂的话来标新立异。”
I replied: "I don't know it before! I read the preface of the Maha Paramita Sutra (i.e. Greater Ark Sutra) in a magazine. I didn't understand it and thought that if I memorized it and could understand it in the future, I would have some merit. Even if I can't figure it out, these lines are so literate that I can use them manifest strange, to clamor for attention, to say something that no one can understand to make a new point."
她听了后，对我大加赞赏：“你这想法真好！”可一转身，她被气得哭了。我问她又怎么了？她说：“我从小就认为我懂这个，是我的长处之一，可我爸爸总说我不懂。现在，连你都明白了，我还是不懂！我是怎么回事！？”
When she heard this, she praised me: "That's a great idea!" But when she turned around, she was so exasperated that she cried. I asked her what was wrong again. She said: "I grew up thinking I understood this, that it was one of my strengths, but my dad always said I didn't understand. Now, even you understand it, and I still don't! What's wrong with me!?"
我听了后，被气得发晕：怎么我懂了这点儿事，就把你侮辱哭了！你从骨头里往外瞧不起我！为什么还要和我谈恋爱！？不谈了！我转身就走。走出去一段距离后，我又想：就这样离开了，也太没礼貌了！就又走回来了。
When I heard this, I was furious: how is it that I insulted you to tears by understanding this little affair! You despise me from your bones! Why do you still want to fall in love with me! I don't want to talk about it! I turned around and walked away. After walking out for some distance, I thought it's too rude to leave like this! So, I walked back.
7.5.3-2
刘健君问我：“你以前真不明白这几句话？”
我回答：“我上哪里去知道，我还没结婚呢！”
她叨咕：“这事和结没结婚有什么关系！我也没结婚呢！” 她一转身，笑了，问：“为什么没结婚就不能知道这几句话？”
我腼腆地说：“这是农村人的说法。”
Eve Liu asked me: "You really didn't understand these words before?"
I replied: "Where would I know, I'm not married!"
She muttered: "What does this have to do with being married or not! I'm not married either!" She turned around, laughed, and asked: "Why can't you know these words if you're not married?"
I said coyly, "It's a rural saying."
她立刻说：“我上高中的时候，就听说过，许多民间老说法的背后有我们不知道的原因。大学的时候，就有这个实习项目，调查民间的说法，我就参加了。我们相信这个，你想一想，为什么你刚才那么说？我想听。”
我说：“小时候，我们村子里有人作法事。那个被作法的人死前想见见我父母。法师就派助理来找我父母，对我妈说：我先给你讲讲给人送终要说的几句话；这几句话不让小孩儿听，因为慧能害痴。我妈说：不痴，还不好？！ 那个法师助理说：老辈子们说，太痴了不好，但没痴也不好。不痴情对谈恋爱和婚后生活都有不好的影响。”
She immediately said: "When I was in high school, I heard that there are reasons behind many of the old folk sayings that we don't know. When I was in college, there was this internship program to investigate folk sayings, and I took it. We believe in this, so think about it, why did you just say that? I want to hear it."
I said: "When I was a kid, someone in our village performed a ‘Juristic Affair’. The man who had been amended wanted to meet my parents before he died. The Juristic Teacher then sent his assistant to my parents and said to my mom: ‘I'll first tell you the few sentences of Transcendental Ferry. These words are not to be listened to by children because gnosis harms ignorance. My mom said, ‘isn’t that good to not be ignorant?’ That juristic assistant said, ‘The old lifers say that it's neither good to be too non-ignorant nor good to be very ignorant. Non-ignorant has a bad effect on falling in love and on married life."
刘健君听了之后不笑了，想了一会儿后说：“是有这说法。我刚去医院实习的时候，听说他们也给病人讲这个，我就好奇，想知道他们讲的和我爸爸讲的一样不，就问。老大夫说：你们年轻人，可不能学这个！你再想一想，你还听见什么了？”
Eve Liu stopped laughing after hearing this and said after thinking for a while: "There is this saying. When I first went to the hospital for my internship, I heard that they also told this to the patients, I was curious to know if what they told was the same as what my father told, so I asked. The old doctor said, ‘You young people, should not learn this! Think again, what else did you hear?’"
7.5.3-3
我说：“他们去了，我就跟去了。到那家不远处，有护法在外面看守着，不让进。有几个人跟那个年轻的护法唠嗑。护法说，师傅们都不教我们，也不给我们看那套书。师傅们说，‘什么天书、地书的，那就是一套书。我们没人在意谁泄露秘密。等到你们四十岁的时候，肯定给你们每人一套。现在不教你们是为你们好。你们现在什么也不知道，那找对象成功了就是瞎猫碰上死耗子了。实际上找对象，瞎猫碰死耗子这个办法最好。你们这些瞎猫出去一溜达，准能撞上死耗子。’”
I said: "They went, and I followed. When I got not far from that house, there were ‘Juristic Defenders’ (i.e. guardians) outside watching and not letting in. A few people were chattering with the young Juristic Defender (i.e. Juristic Teacher’s assistants or disciples). The young man said, ‘The masters don't teach us, and they don't show us the book. The masters said, ‘What is the Sky Book, the Book of Death and Life? It is just a set of books, and no one cares who reveals the secrets; when you are forty years old, we will surely give each of you a set of the books. It is for your own good that we do not teach you now. If you don't know anything now, then you succeed in finding a spouse, it would be like a blind cat bumping into a dead rat. In fact, this is the best way to find a spouse. When you blind cats go out, you're bound to run into a dead rat.”
“如果教你们，还让你们看书，你们就把慧眼（参见7.5.2节）、法眼（参见7.5.1节）都睁开了。你们有了他心通（一种古代的心理分析法；慧眼包括他心通），专看人家的阴暗面。人有黑暗的经历不见得就是坏人，你们却认为人家怪。你们看这个邪，那个歪，时间长了，你们自己就长歪了，变成了怪人。慧伤痴，不痴情，你们谈恋爱不专心，今天跟这个谈，明天跟那个谈，招三慕四的，到头来，哪个也不成，把自己耽误了。”
"If we teach you and let you read the books, your Gnostic Eye (see section 7.5.2) and Juristic Eye (see section 7.5.1) will open. When you have “Reading Others Mind Through” (an ancient method of psychoanalysis; the Gnostic Eye includes “Reading Others Mind Through”), and you specialize in looking at people's dark sides. People who have dark experiences are not necessarily bad people, but you think that they are strange. You see this as evil, that as crooked, and over time, you yourselves grow crooked and become weird. Gnosis hurts ignorance. No ignorance, you are not focused on love, today with this talk, tomorrow with that talk, recruiting three, four, in the end, which will not be able to, to delay your own.”
“等你们把法眼睁开了，你们就该分析自己性格和对象的匹配了，用条条去套，用框框去选。那找对象，三、二年才能遇到一个符合条件的；再用你们那法眼一看，这个有魔障、那个有业障，都是妖魔鬼怪的，想找个人都难，那你们的对象还咋找！”
刘健君说：“我听这说法挺有道理的！”
I continued: "When your juristic eye open, you would analyze the match between your personality and the spouse and use the bars to set and the boxes to choose. Then looking for a spouse, three or two years to meet a qualified. Then with your juristic eyes, this has a demonic hindrance, that has karmic hindrance, are all demons and monsters, want to find a human is difficult, that your spouse how to find!"
Eve Liu said: "I hear this argument is quite reasonable!"
7.5.4 觉悟的特质 Trait of Conscientiousness
我早就听说过，《天书》既能救人也会害人，所以有那本书的人都把书藏起来，不给别人看，就问：“你爸爸给别人讲这个的时候，就没背着你？”
她说：“那时候我还小，他们说话我在旁边听，也没人太在意我，后来就习惯了。”
我问：“我听说，有那套书（天书）的人会把书里三层外三层地包裹起来，再锁在箱子里，别人谁看都不行。你爸爸就没把那书藏起来？”
I had heard long ago that the Sky Book could save as well as harm people, so those who had that book hid it from others, so I asked: "When your father told this to others, he didn't carry it behind your back?"
She said: "I was little then, I listened next to them as they talked, no one cared too much about me, then I got used to it."
I asked: "I've heard that people who have that set of books will wrap the book in three layers and lock it in a box, so that no one else can look at it. Didn't your dad hide that book?"
她想了一会儿，说：“也看不出他藏没藏。那时候我才十三、四岁。一天，他们俩不在家，不知怎么地我就瞄着我爸爸总看的那本书了，就拿出来看了。他们俩回来看我在看，是很生气，但我以为他们是怕我把书弄坏了。”
我问：“你爸没把那书藏起来？”
她想了一会儿说：“也看不出我爸爸藏没藏。我爸爸跟一般人不一样。”
我问：“不一样？有什么不同？”
She thought for a while and said: "And I can't tell if he hid it or not. I was only thirteen or fourteen at the time. One day, when the two of them were not at home, I somehow caught sight of the book that my father always read and took it out to read it. When they both came back and saw me reading it, they were angry, but I thought they were afraid I would break the book."
I asked: "Your dad didn't hide that book?"
She thought for a moment and said: "I can't tell if my dad hid it or not. My dad is different from ordinary people."
I asked: "Different? What's different?"
刘健君说：“我举例子说。他晚上躺在床上看书。该睡觉了，他不把书一扔，或者放在褥子底下。他先坐起来，穿好鞋。站起来之后，他先踢踢鞋，把鞋穿舒服喽，再扣好衣服扣，挺挺身，把书拿起来，摆在书架里，摆正。从左边调调线，再从右边看看，确定把书摆正了，他再转身，坐在床上，脱衣服，脱鞋，上床。”
Eve Liu said: "Let me give you an example. He lies in bed at night reading a book. When it's time to go to sleep, he doesn't throw the book away or put it under the mattress. He first sits up and puts on his shoes. When he stands up, he kicks his shoes and makes them comfortable, then he buttons his shirt, stands up, picks up the book, puts it in the bookshelf, and arranges it correctly. Adjusting the line from the left, then from the right, to make sure the book is in the right place, he turns around, sits on the bed, undresses, takes off his shoes, and gets into bed."
我听了感觉稀罕：“啥事都这样儿？”
她说：“我爸爸做什么事都这样儿，总是先造个计划，然后依计行事。我再给你举个例子，他即便是晚上出去溜达，也要先计划好，他就先站在那儿想：能下雨不，带不带伞；带水，带多少水；走到哪儿休息；喝水，喝多少。他看看瓶子，水带多了，那绝对不可以，就去把多余的水倒掉。”
I heard her say: "Is that how everything works?"
She said: "My father does everything like this. He always plans first and then acts according to it. Let me give you another example, even if he goes out for a walk at evening, he has to plan first, he just stands there and thinks can it rain, with or without an umbrella; bring water, how much water to bring; where to rest; drink water, how much to drink. He looks at the bottle and brings too much water, that's absolutely not allowed, and goes to pour out the excess water."
我听了，感觉新奇：“还有这样的人！那你从小就受熏染，一定很有规矩，也是很利索！”
刘健君骄傲地说：“我小时候很利索，什么都有个样儿！” 她又变得羞愧地说：“上大学住宿舍，我看别人躺在床上看书，看完了，把书一扔就睡觉；我就变得邋遢了。”
随后，她在一边来回地走，说：“你整我！我看见你在笑话我！”
When I heard this, I felt new: "There are such people! Then you have been inculcated since childhood, you must be very disciplined and neat!"
Eve Liu proudly said: "I was very neat as a child; everything has a style!" She then became ashamed and said, "When I went to college and lived in the dormitory, I watched other people lying on the bed reading books, and when they were finished, they threw the books away and went to sleep; I became sloppy."
She then walked back and forth, saying, "You pinched me out! I saw you laughing at me!"
我回答：“我没笑话你。我没发现你有什么好笑话的。”
她生气地说：“我也没发现你笑话我什么，但我几次看见你在笑话我，弄得我毛毛的！我长这么大，头一次丢这么大的脸！”
我生气地回答：“今天是我丢尽了脸，怎么你也丢脸了呢！”
I replied: "I wasn't laughing at you. I don't see what you have to laugh about."
She said angrily: "I don't see what you're laughing at either, but I've seen you laughing at me a couple times and it's getting on my nerves! It's the first time in my life I've ever been so embarrassed!"
I replied angrily: "I'm the one who lost all the face today, how come you lost face too!"
7.5.5 给舅舅送终 Farewell to Uncle
我坐在舅舅对面的凳子上跟舅舅唠；没聊几句，我就感觉非常困倦，努力地睁开眼睛，双手支撑着凳子，疲惫不堪地坐直了。一会儿后，我出了一身汗，又精神起来了。从舅舅家里出来，老姨问我：“你和你舅舅说了些什么？还有说有笑的，当时我没注意。”这时，我知道我是来给舅舅送终的，讲那几句话的，但忘了那几句话是什么了，已经把我们的谈话内容全部忘了（注1）。
I sat on the stool opposite my uncle and chatted. After a few words, I felt very sleepy. I tried to open my eyes, supported the stool with both hands, and sat upright exhausted. After a while, I broke out in a sweat and became energetic again. When I came out of my uncle's house, my aunt asked me: "What did you and your uncle talk about? You were joking and laughing, but I didn't pay attention at the time." At this time, I knew that I was there to transcendently ferry my uncle, but I forgot what those sentences are, and I have completely forgotten the content of our conversation (Note 1).
注7.5.5-1，现在想来，正如前文刘健君所说（参见7.5.1-2《法眼》），我是个多重性格的人，性格随着环境的不同而变化。在性格改变时我很疲惫，性格之间记忆不相通或单向相通。现代心理学认为多重性格人处在不同性格时有不同的智商水平，不同的行为习惯，面目表情，和不一样的言辞。这让我联想起了萨满教（即沙门教）中跳大神的事，巫师像似神灵附体。笔者我认为，巫师神灵附体的怪异表现，其本质即是性格的变化。那如果巫师的性格没变，他（或她）就不能施法吗？就常有巫师跳唱了几天，神灵不来附体的现象，结果法事不能如期进行。
Note 7.5.5-1, now that I think about it, as Eve Liu Jianjun said earlier (see 7.5.1-2 "Juristic Eye"), I am a person with multiple personalities, and my personality changes with different environments. I was very tired when my personality was changing, and the memories between personalities were not connected or connected in one direction. Modern psychology believes that people with multiple personalities have different IQ levels, different behavioral habits, facial expressions, and different oral capability when they have different personalities. This reminds me of the God Dance in shamanism, where the shaman seems to be possessed by a god. Author me believes that the essence of the weird manifestations of Sharman possession by spirits is the change of personality. So, if the Sharman's personality doesn't change, can't he (or she) cast spells? It is common for Shamans to dance and sing for a few days without the spirit coming to possess them. As a result, rituals cannot be carried out as scheduled.
7.5.5-2
两年后，一次妈妈从老姨家回来后，问我：“人么说，你舅舅死前一个多月，你跟他唠过。从你和他谈话后，他就变了。他变好了，好得不得了！你二嫂子都不敢自己在家呆着了，跟人说，‘自从他那个沈阳的侄子来了，跟他说了一会儿话，某老公公就变了，啥事都有说有笑有商量；没人时，他还总跟自己说话，比比画画的，还偷着乐！他是不是疯啦！？”
Two years later, once my mom came back from my aunt's house, she asked me, "People say that you talked to your uncle a month or so before he died. After you talked to him, he changed. He's changed for the better, too good to be true! Your second sister-in-law didn't dare to stay at home by herself, telling people, 'Since that nephew of his from Shenyang came and talked to him for a while, the old man has changed, and he talks and laughs and discusses everything; and when no one is around, he is always talking to himself, comparing drawings and painting, and stealing smiles.' Is he crazy?"
妈妈说：“南北屯儿的人，好多人去看你舅舅！看了都惊讶，糊涂了！他咋变成那样了呢！你舅舅见谁跟谁说，‘没想到，我得我二外甥（即卢岩）的记了（注2）！人们说，‘不懂！不过即便是疯了，疯成那样儿也是福气呀！自己高兴就行呗！’”
Mom said, "A lot of people from North and South Tuner went to see your uncle! They were all surprised and confused! How could he have become like that! Your uncle said to everyone he met, 'I didn't think I'd get my second nephew's (i.e., author mine) Gain Remembrance (Note 2).' People said, 'I don't understand! But even if he is crazy, it's a fortune to be crazy like that! If he is happy.'"
随后，妈妈说：“他们说你知道那几句给人送终的话。提起这事儿来，你老姨就哭了，说，‘小卢岩知道，我问他，他不告诉我！我就想：人家说会说那几句话的人，那才能说呢！我学会了，也算有个长处！’看你老姨以后还搭理你不！”
我回答：“是有那么回事，那几句话，我是真的忘了！”
“是什么？我也想学学。” 那时，我回忆不出来；直到2014年，我写回忆录时，才想起来我给舅舅送终时的谈话内容。
Then Mom said, "They say you know the words sending dying people away. When we mentioned this, your aunt cried and said, 'Little Luyan knows, but when I asked him, he wouldn't tell me.' I thought to myself, ‘people say that only those who know how to say those words are capable talkers! If I've learned it, and it would be one my advantages! ' Let's see if your aunt will still take care of you in the future!"
I replied: "That's what happened. I really forgot those few words!"
"What is it? I want to learn too." At that time, I couldn't recall it; it wasn't until 2014, when I was writing my memoirs, that I remembered the content of the conversation I gave my uncle when he died.
注7.5.5-2，什么是授记？什么是得记？超渡的过程中，有对被超度人的人生评价。我评价他为 “入流果圣人” （参见7.5.8-3）。这个评价要客观、真实，如果被超渡的人自己都对这个评价不信服，那这超渡就废了。我是按照当时中国流行的 “入流果 （15.2.4《四沙门果》）” 的标准逐条跟他解释的。那时，卢岩在他的眼中，还是个孩子，他怎么就信了呢？
Note 7.5.5-2, What is Bestowing Remembrance? What is the Gain Remembrance? In the process of transcendent ferry, there is an evaluation of the life of the person being transcended. I evaluate him as a "stream-entering sage" (see 7.5.8-3). This evaluation must be objective and true. If the person being transcended is not convinced by the evaluation, then the transition will be useless. I explained it to him one by one according to the standard of "stream-entering fruit (15.2.4 "Four Shamanic Fruit") which was popular in China at that time. At that time, Luyan was still a child in his eyes, so how did he come to believe in it?
刘健君给我讲超渡的时候考虑到了这个问题说：“你跟你舅舅都七、八年没见面了，你在他的心里还是个孩子，这不行！你的说你是从哪个权威人氏那儿听来的。”我就跟我舅舅实话实说了：“我去向医大的一个研究生同学请教了，新学来的。”我舅舅一听就信了，还说：“沈阳市老城，有几个活佛不奇怪！还就你的那个同学那种人厉害，从小，家大人跟人谈论这事，她进进出出听着一句半句的，熏出来的。其它的，学校出来的，师傅带徒弟带出来的，和自学成才的，都不如这种熏出来的。”
Eve Liu took this issue into consideration when he told me about transcendent ferry and said: "You and your uncle haven't seen each other for seven or eight years. You are still a child in his heart. This is not okay! You should say which authority did you hear from." I told my uncle the truth: "I went to ask a graduate student at the China Medical University for advice. I just learned it." My uncle believed it as soon as he heard it and said: "It's not surprising that there are a few living Buddhas in the old city of Shenyang! Only your classmate, the kind of person is amazing. But also, on your classmate kind of people powerful, since childhood, the family adults talk to people about this, she went in and out to listen to a sentence and a half, smoked out. Other, school out, master with apprentice out, and self-taught, are not as good as this smoked out."
7.5.6 圆满 Perfect Fulfillment
下面是根据我给舅舅送终时的谈话，整理出来的三个话题。
舅舅说：“这一条，我听明白了！无所得，看着不起眼儿，道理却很深，很有用。你说下一条吧！”
我对舅舅说：“这条讲圆满，我先用书上的话说，你听明白意思就行。云何满？法无不合，不必修遣。诸法无性不可修遣，如是不修不遣。心净无着，如是不起。能所如幻，如是无取无执。此其所以速得圆满也。佛说，‘无有少法与少法合，但自然法必然与其自身合’，不明白这个道理，他就不会得到圆满，到不了完美的世界；明白了，稍作练习就功德圆满了。”
Here are three topics based on conversations I had when I was transcendently ferrying my uncle.
My uncle said: "This one, I understand now! No gain, looks insignificant, but the truth is deep and useful. You say the next clause!"
I said to uncle: "This clause speaks of Fulfillment, I'll use the words from the book, you hear and understand the meaning. What is the fulfillment? There is no unmatched law, and you must not amend to send it away. Laws have no nature and cannot be amended or repatriated with; thus, no amendment no disharmony. The heart is immaculate and unattached; thus, it does not arouse. Cause and effect are like hallucination, thus, no fetch and no obsession. This is way one achieves perfect fulfillment quickly. The Veda said, 'There is no lesser law that match with the lesser law, but the natural law is bound to be united with itself.' Without understanding this, he will not attain perfect fulfillment and will not arrive at the perfect world; understanding this, with a little practice he will have perfected his merit and virtue."
舅舅说：“我听懂了，你继续，怎么看待和练习？”
我说：“佛经有说，万物自有功，当言用极处；事存函盖合，理应箭锋柱。这是说，世间的万事万物千百年来存在，各自有它自己的道理和美德。当你把这道理推广到极限，一物一理，事物存在了就是道理和事物匹配了。当你觉得事情合情合理了，你应该知道，你正在攀爬一个布满剑锋的柱子，必定受伤。”
舅舅说：“我听明白了，但是没抓住要领，你举个例子说，怎么做？”
Uncle said: "I understand; go on, how do you see and practice?"
I said: "It is said in the Buddhist scriptures that all things have their own merits, what we should say that using their extreme place; that thing exists shows box and cover fit, reasonable and fair you have climbed up a pillar covered by blades. This is to say that everything in the world has existed for thousands of years, each with its own reasoning and virtues. When you extend this reasoning to the limit, one thing, one reason, things exist is the reasoning and effects match. When you think things make sense, you should know that you are climbing up a pillar covered with sword blades and are bound to get hurt."
Uncle said: "I hear you, but I don't get the gist of it, so give me an example of how to do it."
7.5.6-2
我说：“比如，你到后院溜达，看见一颗水稗草，就单看这棵草，别看苗儿。你就想，几天没注意，你长这么大了，又壮实，又水灵。你用不着对我二哥大喊：草长得都比苗儿高了。人家就三口人，不在忽这仨瓜俩枣的。你就想，我铲你都铲了50年了，你还长得这么旺盛，今天我饶你一命，不拔你了。你单看这棵草的美丽；这就是一物一理。你这么观待每一个事物，就远离了地狱，走向天堂，进入了佛的境界。”
I said: "For example, you go to the backyard, see a barnyard grass, just look at the grass alone, do not look at the seedlings. You just think, a few days did not pay attention, you grow so big, and strong, and watery. You don't need to yell at my second brother: the grass has grown taller than the seedlings. They are just three people, not mind of these three melons and two dates. You just think, I shoveled you have shoveled 50 years, you still grow so vigorous, today I spare your life, do not pull you. You look at the beauty of this barnyard grass alone; this is one thing and one reason. When you view everything in this way, you are far from hell, advance toward heaven, and into the realm of the Buddha."
舅舅问：“看草不看苗儿，看苗不看草。那会怎么样？”
我说：“当你单单欣赏水稗草的美的时候，美的等流果（参见11.6.2节《等流果》）就会随意而聚；这就是如意（参见13.1.6-4 知足天）。如果不联想别的，世界就是美好的。一想到苗和收成，这不合理呀！美好的世界就被破坏了。”
舅舅想了想，说：“确实，水稗草壮实水灵！我能感觉到。这个例子挺好！你再举个别的例子。”
Uncle asked: "Look at the grass but not the seedlings and look at the seedlings but not the grass. What happens then?"
I said: "When you appreciate the beauty of the barnyard grass alone, the Equal Stream Fruits of beauty (cf. 11.6.2 Equal Stream Fruit) will be gathered at will; this is “As Wish” (cf. 13.1.6-4 Contentment Sky). If one does not associate it with anything else, the world is beautiful. When one thinks of seedlings and harvests, this is unreasonable! The beautiful world is destroyed."
Uncle thought for a moment, said: "Indeed, the barnyard grass is prosperously strong and watery! I can feel it. This example is quite good! You give another example."
7.5.6-3
我说：“你看你家的墙头草，东风东倒，西风西随，一段时间不下雨，你以为它们死了，可人家年年都长得不错，还长生不老。”
舅舅惊奇地说：“那草长生不老？”
我说：“那草没有生老病死的烦恼。它们不知道生死，生死对它们自己来说，没有差别，所以会说话的人说它们长生不老。你得设身处地，从它们的角度出发！”
舅舅说：“那有啥用！？我没听明白。”
I said: "Look at your family's wall grass, east wind east, west wind west follows, a period of time does not rain, you think they are dead, but they grow well year after year but also live forever."
Uncle said in amazement: "That grass lives forever?"
I said: "That grass doesn't have the annoyances of birth, getting old, illness, or dying.
They don't know about life and death, and there is no difference between life and death for themselves, so people who can talk say they live forever. You must put yourself in their shoes and take their point of view!"
Uncle said: "What's the point of that! I don't get it."
我说：“佛不生不灭，为什么？因为成佛前，要求把生死扔掉，就是别管生死了，忘了生死。这在佛经里都写着呢！”
舅舅问：“这是真的吗？”
我回答：“是真的！佛经里的修炼过程中就有这一步：舍掉生死的概念想法和记忆；就是除掉生死劣种。你这么看，这么做，就逐渐地步入了人间仙境。”
舅舅叨咕：“是这么回事儿！？”
I said: "Buddhas have no birth and death, why? Because before becoming a Buddha, one is required to throw away birth and death, that is, forget about birth and death. This is all written in the sutras!"
Uncle asked: "Is this true?"
I replied: "It is true! There is this step in the cultivation process in the Buddhist scriptures: to give up the conceptual ideas and memories of birth and death; that is, to get rid of the inferior seeds of birth and death. When you see and do this, you gradually step into the realm of earthly immortality."
Uncle chattered: "That's how it is!?"
我回答：“就是这么回事！人说佛祖的金刚山（和尚山），连鸟的头上都不长毛。我一看佛经，那是真的，那鸟是秃鹫。佛经说衣服长在树上，也是真的！他们用木棉织袈裟。佛就善于发现现实生活中的美。为什么佛土总是那么好？他就单从事物的自身发现美，不相互比较。他们就单设身处地地从所观本身出发，想问题；这是极端多元主义，是佛的世界观。现在西方世界流行多样儿化；就是这种多元主义。”
舅舅问：“你练习过这个吗？”
I replied: "That's how it is! People say that Buddha's Mount Sumeru (Monk's Mountain) doesn't even have hair on the heads of birds. When I looked at the sutra, that was true; the birds were vultures. The sutra says that clothes grow on trees, and that's also true! They weave robes out of cottonwood. Buddha was then good at finding beauty in real life. Why is the Buddha's land always so good? He finds beauty in things by themselves alone, without comparing them to each other. They just put themselves in the shoes of what they are looking at and think about it. This is extreme pluralism, the Buddha's worldview. Nowadays the western world is popular for diversification; it is this kind of pluralism."
Uncle asked: "Have you practiced this?"
我回答：“我琢磨明白了这个道理，但是我还得挣钱吃饭买衣服，不能老是让父母养活，还不到进入妙智世界的时候。你不一样了，吃饭的时候，儿女给你放在这儿，供上。你就应该脱离苦海，登岸，进入妙智世界了。”
舅舅说：“这条叫圆满。这么看，这么做，就是圆满。按日常的道理想和作，那就烦恼无尽。你讲下一条吧！等回头再说说这条，你不就是来给我讲这个的吗！”
我回答：“是呀！你想听，我就一直说。”
I replied: "I have pondered and understood this, but I still have to earn money to eat and buy clothes; I can't keep letting my parents feed me; it's not yet time to enter the Wonderful Intelligence World. You are different from me, when you eat, your sons and daughters put it here for you and make offerings. You should then be free from the bitter sea, disembark, and enter the Wonderful Intelligence World."
Uncle said: "This clause is called Perfect Fulfillment. To see like this and to do like this is Perfect Fulfillment. To idealize and act according to the daily path, that is trouble without end. You speak about the next clause! Wait until later to talk about this one, isn't that what you came to tell me!"
I replied: "Yes! I'll keep talking if you want to hear it."
7.5.7 想去哪儿去哪儿 To Think Where to Go is Arriving There
我引导话题地问：“舅舅，你有没有见鬼的经历，比如看见已经过世的人；或者感觉身上有东西，比如虫子、小老鼠在爬什么的？”
舅舅瞪大了眼睛，反问：“有怎么的？没有怎么的？” （注1，他在防卫自己，保护自己的隐私。）
我回答：“没什么！你病了半年多了，身体变得虚弱了，或者保持某种姿势久了，就可能产生幻觉。幻觉过去被称作鬼。”
I steered the conversation by asking: "Uncle, have you ever experienced seeing ghosts, such as seeing someone who has passed away; or feeling something on your body, such as bugs or mice crawling or something?"
Uncle's eyes widened and he asked rhetorically: "Any how? No how?" (Note 1, he's on the defensive, protecting his privacy.)
I replied: "Nothing! You've been sick for more than six months, and when your body becomes weak, or when you stay in a certain position for a long time, you may hallucinate. Hallucinations used to be called ghosts."
舅舅问：“那是为什么？怎么造成的？”
我回答：“幻觉和梦一样，都是正常的生理现象，人就有时候做梦，有时候有幻觉。”
舅舅问：“幻觉和过去的经历有关系吗？”
我回答：“幻觉和梦类似，当然也不会无中生有，应该说和过去的经历有关系。有人胡思乱想地解梦，也有人胡乱联系地解释幻觉现象，自寻烦恼。幻觉就是过去人所说的鬼，什么胳肢鬼，淘气鬼，索命鬼，什么的。”
Uncle asked: "Then why? How is it caused?"
I answered: "Hallucinations, like dreams, are normal physiological phenomena; people just sometimes dream and sometimes have hallucinations."
Uncle asked: "Do hallucinations have anything to do with past experiences?"
I answered: "Hallucinations are similar to dreams, of course they don't come from nothing, so we should say that they are related to past experiences. Some people interpret dreams in a haphazard manner, while others interpret the phenomenon of hallucinations in a haphazardly connected manner, at their own peril. Hallucinations are what people used to call ghosts, what tickling ghosts, naughty ghosts, life-suppressing ghosts, whatever."
7.5.7-2 鬼神境界 Realm of Ghosts and Gods
由此，我系统地讲述触觉、听觉和视觉的幻觉现象，和处理办法（参见第12章《禅》）。
舅舅说：“我明白了，有幻觉了，无论是什么感觉，无论什么声音，无论什么样儿，反正都是幻觉，性质都一样儿，喜欢，可以逗它玩；不喜欢了，就像对待小孩儿一样，赶它走，出声地说，‘你走开’。”
From this, I systematically describe the tactile hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, Visual Hallucinations, and how to deal with them (see Chapter 12 Meditation).
Uncle said: "I understand, when there is a hallucination, no matter what kind of feeling, no matter what kind of sound, no matter what kind of thing, it's all a hallucination, and it's all of the same nature; if you like it, you can tease it; if you don't like it, you can just drive it away like a child, and say out with sound, 'Go away!' "
我回答：“对！幻境中的影像是思想的‘想’；彼是内虑所托。刚才说的都是局部幻觉，整体呢？阴间的整个世界，即幻境，也是随着你的思想意志改变的。比如说，你忽然有个想法， ‘天堂’。在幻境中，就在你想‘天堂’二字的同时，你的‘想’取来了天堂的形象，接着无意识就按匹配，生成了天堂的幻境。你就到了天堂了。”
I replied: "Right! The images in the hallucinations are the 'thoughts' of the mind; they are held by internal considerations. What I have just said is a localized hallucination; what about the whole? The whole world of the netherworld, i.e., the realm of hallucination, also changes with the will of your thoughts. For example, you suddenly have a thought, 'Heaven'. In the hallucination just as you think the word 'heaven', your 'Think' takes the image of heaven, and then the unconscious, by matching, generates the realm of heaven. So, you arrive in heaven."
舅舅问：“想去哪儿去哪儿，任何地方，任何情况下？”
我回答：“完全正确！刚才说的‘蹬墙入画’的例子，就是进入了太虚幻境，也就是进入了阴间那个平等世界。你进去之后，开始时，那里很小，很快便生成了一个世界。”
舅舅问：“然后呢？”
Uncle asked: "Wherever you want to go, whatever, in any situation?"
I replied: "Exactly! The example of 'stomping on the wall and entering the painting' that I just mentioned is entering the realm of netherworld (including heaven), that is, entering that world of equality in the netherworld. When you go in, at first, it is very small there, and soon a world is generated."
Uncle asked: "And then what?"
我回答：“到了另一个世界，开始时，那里还是很小，很快便生成了一个大的世界。一个世界从形成到崩坏就是一大劫。一大劫就是一个永恒。阴寿有很多大劫，或说有很多个恒时。”
舅舅说：“我明白了，我遇到的奇怪现象就是这个世界和那个世界逐渐地连接了；我要死了！”
我对舅舅的说法感觉惊讶，回答：“可以说是这个世界和幻觉世界有了连接，但不说明你要死了。我小时候练气功，常去那里玩，可我现在还活得好好的，没死。有幻觉经历和死亡没关系，只是幻觉世界是人们对死亡世界描述的来源。”
I replied: "When you went to the other world, it was still small at first and soon a large world was generated. A world from its formation to its collapse is a great catastrophe. A great catastrophe is an eternity. There are many great catastrophes, or eternities, in the after life (including netherworld and heaven)."
Uncle said: "I see, the strange phenomenon I am experiencing is that this world and that world are gradually connecting; I am going to die!"
Feeling surprised at my uncle's statement, I replied: "It can be said that there is a connection between this world and the world of hallucination, but it does not mean that you are going to die. I practiced meditation when I was a child and used to go there, but I am still alive and not dead. Having hallucinatory experiences has nothing to do with death, except that the hallucinatory world is the source of people's descriptions of the world of death."
7.5.7-3 痛苦吗？Is It Painful?
舅舅问：“那里很可怕，很痛苦吧？”
我回答：“很新奇，不可怕。当身体的感觉没了的时候，就可以说那里是阴间，天堂，也可以说是地狱。不痛苦，很舒服的。我说了，我小时候练气功，去过那里多次，我很喜欢去那里探索世界。”
舅舅问：“怎么天堂和地狱是一个地方？”
Uncle asked: "It's scary and painful there, right?"
I replied: "It's very novel, not scary. When the physical sensation is gone, you can say that it is the underworld, heaven, or hell. It is not painful and very comfortable. As I said, I practiced Meditation when I was a child. I’ve been there many times, and I love going there and exploring the world.”
Uncle asked: "Why are heaven and hell the same place?"
我回答：“那里是日常积累的业习气自发的世界。邪恶的人，日常就生活在暴乱和恐怖之中；到了那里，他的业习气自发的世界就是地狱。好人的生活和平快乐，到了那里，他的业习气自发的世界也是和平和欢乐，人们就说他进入了天堂。”
舅舅叨咕：“是这么回事！那里有多可怕，多痛苦？”
我回答：“就像是到了一个新的地方。刚进去的时候，还有身体的记忆。身体像是一个影子。接着，身体就没了，没了身体，就没有身体的痛苦了。像你，肺癌很疼，在那儿，就没有疼的感觉。没有身体痛苦就很少，可以忽略了。”
舅舅问：“那后来你怎么不去那里了？不练气功了？”
I answered: "That is the world where the karmic habits accumulated daily are spontaneous. Evil people live in riots and terror every day here. Once there, the world where their karmic habits are spontaneous is hell. Good people live peaceful and happy lives here. The world where his or her karmic habits are spontaneous is also peaceful and joyful, so people say that he or she has entered heaven.”
Uncle muttered: "That's what it is! How terrible and painful is it there?"
I answered: "It's like arriving in a new place. When I first entered, there was still the memory of the body. The body was like a shadow. Then, the body was gone. Without the body, there is no physical pain. Like you, lung cancer is very painful here. There is no physical pain, so it can be ignored."
Uncle asked: "Then why didn't you go there anymore? Didn't you practice meditation?"
我回答：“后来，我发现去那儿会产生阳寿中（即日常生活中）记忆的丢失。例如，一次，我听见我爸问我妈，‘卢岩怎么不生气了，我还以为他得生气几天呢！’我妈回答，‘可能是他又练气功了。有时候他练完气功就高兴，前后院儿跑，看哪儿哪儿新鲜，像似多天没回家了似的。’再比如，有同学对我说，‘哎，咱俩前天不是打架了吗，你怎么跟没事似的？’ 我想，‘呀，我怎么不记得了呢！’ 我就发现了，入定（幻觉状态）会造成短期记忆的遗失（幻境刷新了临时或短期记忆）。这要是我忘了两年的事，那我不得回去读小学了么！我就不练气功了。”
舅舅说：“啊！在那儿越活越年轻。”
我回答：“到了那里，就感觉像似几岁的孩子。 我不是就在给你送终，送你回老家吗！ 那里是神的世界，我在送你归位。”
I answered: "Later, I discovered that going there would cause memory loss in the solar light world (that is daily life, or vessel world). For example, once, I heard my dad ask my mom, 'Why is Luyan not angry anymore? I thought he must be angry for several days.’ My mother replied, ‘Maybe he practiced meditation again. Sometimes he is happy after practicing meditation and runs around looking at everything, as if he hasn't been home for many days." For another example, a classmate said to me, ‘Hey, we had a fight the day before yesterday. Why did you act like nothing happened?’ I thought, ‘Oh, why don't I remember it?’ I discovered that the state of trance (hallucination) causes the loss of short-term memory (the hallucination refreshes the preconscious and short-term memory). If I forget this for two years, then I must go back to primary school! Then I stopped practicing meditation."
Uncle said: "Ah! The longer you live there, the younger you become."
I replied: "When I get there, I feel like a child of several years old. Aren't I just seeing you off and sending you back to your old home? That is the world of God, and I am sending you back to your own position."
7.5.7-4 如果我走错路了怎么办？What if I go the wrong way?
舅舅感叹：“还真是回老家啊！如果我走错路了，怎么办？”
我回答：“不论你在哪儿，西天极乐世界，还是龙宫，地狱，还是和玉皇大帝在一起，你都是‘想去哪儿去哪儿，立刻就到’。对了！刘健君当时告诉我，可得注意点儿：你别把你舅舅送错地方了！”
舅舅问：“怎么还能送错地方？”
Uncle exclaimed: "It's really back home! What if I go the wrong way?"
I replied: "No matter where you are, the Western Paradise of Ultimate Bliss, the Dragon's Palace, Hell, or with the Jade Emperor, you are 'going wherever you think of simultaneously. ' Right! Eve Liu told me at the time, be careful: you don't send your uncle to the wrong place!"
The uncle asked: "How could it be sent to the wrong place?"
我回答：“刘健君说有。就在她们医院里，有个老太太，她理想很特别，想下辈子在一个什么庵做个侍女。超渡的法师讲完离开后，她就不明白了。后来，那个老太太的家人就问那个法师是不是给讲错地方了？那个法师说：‘地方是真的错不了，全中国64种宗教都去那一个地方，就是用词或说法不一样。对于基督教和伊斯兰教徒，我们也是这么超渡的，就是换个名字，送他们去见上帝或者安拉。”
I answered: "Eve Liu said yes. In their hospital, there was an old lady with very special ideals. She wanted to be a maid in some nunnery in her next life. After the juristic teacher finished speaking and left, she got confused. Later, the old lady's family asked the juristic teacher if he had sent her the wrong place. The teacher said, ‘The place is not wrong. All 64 religions (including Christian and Islam) in China go to that same place, but the words or expressions are different." Christians and Muslims also are transcendently ferried in this way, just by changing their names and sending them to see God or Allah.”
舅舅问：“怎么所有宗教都一样？”
我回答：“刘健君从小就听她爸爸给别人讲这个，她研究生实习的时候，发现法师到医院超渡将死的病人。她跟那些法师熟了，就问他们。她发现，所有的法师都用这几句话，都用这几个道理来超渡，不同的宗教说法和用词不一样，比如神教把无意识称作神，佛教称作佛，现代心理学称作无意识，都是人们所说的良心。”
Uncle asked: "Why are all religions the same?"
I answered: "Eve Liu has heard her father tell this to others since she was a child. When she was doing her postgraduate internship, she found that juristic teachers went to the hospital to transcendently ferry dying patients. She became familiar with those masters, so she asked them. She found that all the masters use these words and principles to transcend. Different religions have different expressions and terms. For example, theistic religions call the unconscious God, Buddhism calls it Buddha, and modern psychology calls it the unconscious. All are people so-called conscience.”
7.5.8 神通正等明 Heart Connects with Correct Equality Light
舅舅问：“如果我掉地狱里了，咋办？”
我回答：“任何情况下，都是‘想去哪儿去哪儿’。”
舅舅说：“还是这个道理！即便是我掉地狱里了，我说天堂，就到天堂了。”
我回答：“对！这和信阿弥陀佛的人认为：“死的时候，说一声阿弥陀佛，阿弥陀佛就回来接他去西方的极乐世界是一个道理。想啥是啥，一想就到，有愿望就会立刻实现。”
Uncle asked: "What if I fall in hell?"
I replied, "In any case, to think where to go is arriving there."
My uncle said, "Or this! Even if I fall in hell, when I say heaven, I’m arriving at heaven."
I replied: "Exactly! This is the same reason that people who believe in Ometeotl Buddha think, 'When they die, say Ometeotl, and Ometeotl Buddha will come to take them to the Western World of Ultimate Bliss.' Think what you want when you want it, you will get that, and if you have a wish, it will come true immediately."
舅舅叨咕：“这说法都是真的？”
我回答：“道理是这样的。 这是心理机制原理，机器一样的前后序列事件。”
舅舅说：“这回我可真明白了。你说下一条吧！”
Uncle chimed in: "Are these claims all true?"
I replied: "The causes and effects are like this. It's the principle of psychological mechanisms, machine-like sequences of events before and after."
Uncle said: "I really understand this time. You say the next clause!"
7.5.8-2 平等 Equality
我说：“这条是神通正等明。等是说阴间，或说天堂，或说纯幻觉状态，是一个平等世界。凡是有两条腿的都平等，平等于有四条腿的，平等于有六条腿的，平等于有多条腿的，平等于没有腿的，平等于诸神佛世尊，平等于鸟兽鱼虫；平等于花草树木，平等于山川河流大海等。平等的原因是无意识（古作神识）的性质，是毕竟空（如图7.5-2）。”
舅舅说：“我知道，就是都一样。”
我问：“他们别的法师也说了这个？”
I said: "The clause is Connection with Correct Equality Light. Equality means the afterlife, or heaven, or the state of pure hallucination, is a world of equality. All those with two legs are equal, equal to those with four legs, equal to those with six legs, equal to those with many legs, equal to those with no legs, equal to the gods and buddhas of the world, equal to the birds, animals, fish, and insects; equal to the flowers, plants, and trees, and equal to the mountains, rivers, and oceans, and so on. The reason of equality is nature of unconsciousness (aka. God-sense), is “Empty After All” (see fig. 7.5-2)."
Uncle said: "I know, it's just all the same."
I asked: "They other juristic teachers also said this?"
舅舅回答：“他们都说了；但是你说你的。”
我想了想“都一样”，回答：“比如你到后院，那儿什么都有，都平等。你不能瞧不起树。在阴间，你打石头，石头也会蹦起来反击，打你！必须平等对待众生。”
舅舅惊讶了，回答：“啊！那我被石头打了，会发生什么事？”
我回答：“打得严重，那个世界就坏了。你就会去到另一个地方，生成另一个世界，就从一劫到了另一劫。”
Uncle replied: "They all said it; but you say yours."
I thought about "all the same" and replied: "For example, you go to the backyard, there is everything there, all equal. You can't look down on trees. In the afterlife, if you hit a rock, the rock will jump up and hit you back! All beings must be treated equally."
Surprised, uncle replied: "Ah! So, what happens when I get hit by a rock?"
I replied: "Hit badly, that world collapses down. You then go to another place, generate another world, and go from one catastrophe to another."
7.5.8-3 授戒 Bestowing Precept
舅舅问：“嗯！打架不好！怎样才能不打架呢？”
我回答：“我小时候练气功，琢磨过这个问题，就守戒有用。在阳间（即器世间）生活中心平气和了，在那个世界（即阴间，佛教作五蕴世间，参见11.4 五蕴）里就是平和快乐的。”
舅舅问：“他们都这么说，但他们用书上的话说的，你是自己总结出来的。你说你的，守什么戒？”
Uncle asked: "Hmmm! Fighting is not good! How can I stop fighting?"
I replied: "I practiced meditation when I was a child and pondered over this question, and it is useful to keep the precepts. When you have peace of mind in this Solar Light World (daily life world, Vessel World), you are peaceful and happy in that world (i.e., God’s World, Five Nodes World; cf. 11.4 Five Nodes)."
Uncle asked: "That's what they all say, but they say it using the words of a book; you summarized it yourself. What precepts do you keep when you say yours?"
我回答：“我小时候看过很多佛学杂志。我赞同他们的说法，守十戒。前三条，一）不杀生，二）不偷盗，三）不邪淫，是约束身体行为的。四）不妄语，五）不绮语，六）不恶口，七）不两舌，是约束语言行为的。八）不悭贪，九）不嗔恚，十）正信因果道理（参见《苦谛》）是约束意识行为的。”
我继续说：“戒条有很多，‘三千威仪八万四千细行（参见16.2节）’是从那些戒法算出来的。我看杂志上的和尚们都说，这十条就完全够用。”
I replied: "I read a lot of Buddhist magazines when I was a kid. I agree with them about keeping the Ten Precepts. The first three, 1) do not kill, 2) do not steal, and 3) do not commit heretical sex, are constraints on physical behavior. 4) not to speak delusionally, 5) not to use flowery speech, 6) not to speak of coarse ferocious language, 7) not to two-tongue (not to sow discord among people), the four are oral precepts. 8) not being greedy, 9) not being irritated, and 10) believing in causes and fruits, the last three are to constrain the intent behaviors."
I continued: "There are many precepts, and the ‘3,000 Majesties 108,000 Enchantments (see Section 16.2)’ are calculated out from those precepts. The monks in the magazines I read say that these ten are perfectly adequate."
舅舅回答：“我明白了，这就行！”
我说：“戒法就是佛法的法，俗称天条。正等明的‘正’是说戒法是正确的。‘等’字就是前面说的平等。‘明’字是说那个世界会变得越来越光明，直至常寂光天（即插图17.5-2，亦作涅槃）。正等明是佛的觉悟，无上正等正觉的简称，梵语啊褥多罗三藐三菩提。”
舅舅问：“最后什么样儿？”
Uncle replied: "I see, that's fine!"
I said: "The precepts are Buddha’s (God’s) laws, commonly known as the Heavenly Clauses. The word 'correctness' of the “Correct Equality Light” is saying that the precepts are correct. The word Equality is the equality mentioned earlier. The word Light means that that world will become brighter and brighter until the Constant Silent Light Sky (i.e., Illustration 17.5-2, also known as Nirvana)." The ‘Correct Equality Light’ is Buddha’s (or God’s) enlightenment, is short for Non-Upper Correct-Equality Correct-Perception, Sanskrit as Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi.”
Uncle asked: "What will it look like in the end?"
我回答：“佛经说，或青、或黄、或赤、或白的常色遍处，即常寂光天，主观和客观是一体的了。环境不变，所以人没有记忆。这事就是有人经历过，回来后，根据记忆说的。”
舅舅说：“我琢磨也是那么回事，都是死人又活过来了的经历。然后，有像你这样的，练过气功的，经历过，一看，啊，是这么回事！”
我说：“佛说，‘全世界所有人的工作，我的工作最好，佛座人人都应该坐。这正等明座位解脱力极强，你不坐不得解脱，你一坐很快就解脱了’。 这条也需要练习。”
舅舅问：“怎么练？”
I replied: "Buddhist sutras say that the Constant Silent Light Sky of turquoise, or yellow, or red, or white is pervasive, where subjectivity and objectivity are merged as oneness. The environment does not change, so one has no memory of it. This is the case of someone who has experienced it, comes back, and speaks from memory."
Uncle said: "I figured it was something like that, all the experiences of dead people coming back to life. Then there are those like you, who have practiced meditation, who have experienced it, and look, ah, it's so true!"
I said: "Buddha said that I have the best job of all the people in the world, and that everyone should sit on the Buddha's seat. This seat of Correct Equality Light is extremely liberating; you can't be liberated if you don't sit on, and you're quickly liberated once you sit on. This clause also needs to be practiced."
Uncle asked: "How do I practice?"
我回答：“你就作为上帝或佛，用这几句超渡（拯救）那张桌子，这座房子，花草树木，山川河流，或者山神土地，四海龙王，等等；不超渡人，‘应化非真’。”
舅舅问：“为什么要超渡假的，不能超渡真的？”
我回答：“佛经上是这么说的，不是你一定不能超渡人，而是说超渡那些假的效果好。”
I replied: "Just as God or Buddha, you use these clauses to transcendently ferry (to save) that table, this house, flowers, plants, trees, mountains, rivers, or gods and goddesses of mountains and lands, dragon-kings of the four seas, and so on; not transcending people, ‘should transcend those not real'."
Uncle asked: "Why should we transcend those fake and not the real ones?"
I replied: "That's what the sutras say, it's not that you necessarily can't transcend people, but that transcending those that are fake works the best."
7.5.8-4 授记 Bestowing Remembrance
我又从开始重讲。舅舅也试着超渡我，还说：“这回我可真明白了，我感觉全身像似透明了似的，以前的那些全身都不舒服，都不见了；当然，肺癌还是那么疼。”
我感觉惊讶，这么快！说：“我向同学刘健君学习这事的时候，她说她爸自己说的，‘他能把人说明白得像似全身透明似的’。”
舅舅说：“我说的是真的；她爸，像你说的似的，是活佛。我真信！沈阳是个老城，有几个活佛不奇怪。”
I started to re-tell it from the beginning again. Uncle also tried to transcendently ferry me, and said, "This time I really understand, I feel as if my whole body is transparent, and all those previous discomforts all over my body are gone; of course, the lung cancer still hurts so much."
I feel surprised, so soon! Said: "I learn this from my classmate Eve Liu, she said her father said himself, 'he can make people understand like as if the whole body is transparent'."
Uncle said: "What I said is true; her father, like you said, is a living Buddha. I really believe! Shenyang is an old city; it is not strange to have a few living Buddhas."
我说：“我从佛学书上看过，等明天早上，你再回忆一遍咱俩的谈话，就算觉悟了。我认为你已经得到了入流果（参见15.2.4 四离系果）。入流是进入了圣道流，就是入门了，是小乘佛教中的第一个果位，一果圣人。我可不是瞎说。我以前在杂志上看过，他们评估证得入流果有六项条件。我跟你说的这些和那些条件是对应的，内容只多不少。这个成就可不低呀！许多和尚、尼姑忙了大半辈子，也不敢说自己证得了入流果。 这是因为，我说了，你就信了！”
I said: "I've read about it in a Buddhist book, and tomorrow morning, when you recall our conversation, you'll be enlightened. I think you have attained the Entering Stream Fruit (see 15.2.4 Four Off-is Fruits). To enter the stream is to enter the stream of the holy path, that is the first fruit sage in Hinayana Buddhism. I'm not making this up. I've read in magazines before that they assess that there are six conditions for attaining the first fruit sage. What I'm telling you corresponds to those conditions. This is not a low achievement! Many monks and nuns have been busy for most of their lives, but they don't dare to say that they have attained the Entering Stream Fruit. This is because, when I say it, you believe it!"
舅舅说：“我知道！我自己也认为明白了！咱爷俩有缘！ 你不知道，这几句话我学了八年多了。你二哥给我请了六七个法师了。另外，前街的XXX，是我从小的朋友，是法师，他一个人就给我讲了十来遍了。”
我问舅舅：“我讲的，和那几位法师比起来怎么样？”
舅舅回答：“讲得挺好！比他们大多数的法师强！”
Uncle said: "I know! I think I understand it myself! We are destined to be together as masters! You don't know that I've been learning these words for more than six months. Your second brother has hired six or seven juristic teachers for me. In addition, XXX on Front Street, a friend of mine since I was a child, is a juristic teacher, and he alone has taught me dozen times."
I asked: "How does my preaching compare to those juristic teachers?"
Uncle replied: "The preaching is quite good! It's better than most of those juristic teachers!"
我兴奋地说：“我感觉我今天挺聪明！不知咋回事，刘健君给我讲得，不多不少，我全想起来了，全用上了！”
舅舅笑着说：“我发现了，毕竟第一次给人送终，有些紧张。我发现你不知道下面该说什么了，我就提醒你。你的素质真好，我一问，你连想都不想，张嘴就回答！”
我恍然大悟，说：“我才明白，我怎么把刘健君说的话全记住了呢！原来是你引导着我们的谈话。”
I said excitedly: "I feel like I'm pretty smart today! I don't know what happened, but what Eve Liu told me, no more, no less, I remembered it all and used it all!"
Uncle laughed and said: "I realized that, after all, it's the first time you've given a sermon, so you're a bit nervous. I realized you didn't know what to say next, so I reminded you. You have such good qualities, when I ask, you don't even think about it, you open your mouth and answer!"
I realized and said: "I just realized how I remembered everything Eve Liu said! So, it was you who guided our conversation."
7.6 她的影响力大 She Has Great Influence
从舅舅家回来后，我联系刘健君约会，她说她忙，没时间。我去向张利民宿舍的室友们请教此事。还没说完我和刘健君的事，张利民笑得闭不上嘴了，对我说：“别误会！你进屋一说女朋友，甲同学就告诉我，你今天是来向我们请教如何解决你的那个女朋友的问题。”他又对甲：“真神！你没说卢岩病了，我还真没看出来！咋才见几面，他就闹心成这样了！？”
After returning from my uncle's house, I contacted Eve Liu for a date, but she said she was busy and had no time. I went to ask my roommates in Zhang Limin's dormitory for advice on the matter. Before I could finish talking about Eve Liu and I, Zhang Limin couldn't shut his mouth from laughing and said to me: "Don't get me wrong! As soon as you came into the room and said girlfriend, Classmate A told me that you came here today to ask us for advice on how to solve that girlfriend problem of yours." He added to A: "Holy! I didn't really see it until you said Luyan was sick! How come he's so upset after just a few dates!"
同学甲说： “就有这样的人，那个女的就是个让人闹心的人！我给你举个例子说，咱这些人正在这讨论得热闹呢，她来了，说几句，就掩（杀）倒咱这一群人。她的知识面比咱们宽，看得就是比咱们深。那咱们还能说啥！”
张利民问：“你咋知道那个女的就是那样儿的人？”
乙同学说：“看看咱们东北大学天才班那帮疯子，谁能整得了！中国医科大学天才班的学生肯定比咱东大的疯多了！”
Classmate A said: "There are such people, that girl is a disturbing person! Let me give you an example. We are having a lively discussion here, she comes and says a few words, houses up (pinches, kills) our group of people. Her knowledge is wider than ours, and she sees deeper than we do. What else can we say?"
Zhang Limin asked, "How do you know that woman is that kind of person?"
Classmate B said, "Look at those crazy people in the genius class at our Northeastern University, who can handle them! The students in the genius class at China Medical University are much crazier than our Northeastern!"
张利民说：“我还挺喜欢他们呢！找个有学问的女朋友，挣钱多，有啥不好！卢岩为啥闹心？”
同学甲说： “受气！又说不过人家，整的连话都不敢说了，人家看不起你！那个女的优点明显，卢岩否定不了；缺点突出，卢岩忍受不了。处与不处，卢岩决定不了，所以问咱们来了。” 甲对我说：“这个不行！长痛不如短痛，当即立断！”
张利民对他说：“哎！哎！卢岩没让你给做决定！这才刚认识。时间长了，你咋知道那女的不会喜欢上卢岩，让着他呢！”
Zhang Limin said: "I quite like them! What's wrong with finding an educated girlfriend who earns more money! Why is Luyan so upset?"
Classmate A said: "Being squeezed (pinched, housed)! Speeches are inferior to her, even dare not to speak! She despises you! The girl's advantages are obvious, Luyan can not deny; shortcomings are prominent, Luyan can not countenance. Luyan can't decide whether to get along or not, so he came to ask us. This won't work! Long pain is worse than short pain, break up immediately!"
Zhang Limin said to him: "Hey! Ai! Luyan didn't let you make the decision! They've only just met. After a long time, how do you know that the girl will not like Luyan, give way to him!"
他们认为，“诤（1）”是刘健君的个人特质，终生不变，一辈子学不会个“让”字。医大天才班的人，那是全国一流的天才，我卢岩资质平平，和她结婚，我一辈子就只能畏畏缩缩地活着。这婚姻不般配，建议我找个和自己差不多的。
我打电话给刘健君，说话支支吾吾的，她说：“我也觉得咱俩不合适。” 就这样，我和她分手了。
一周后，我已经把她忘了，逐渐从不舒服的身心状态恢复了健康。
They think, "Expostulation (1)" is Eve Liu's personal strong trait, lifelong, can not learn the word "Concession". The people in the genius class of the China Medical University are the first-class geniuses in whole China, and I, Luyan, have mediocre qualifications. If I marry her, I can only live in fear for the rest of my life. This marriage is not a good match, suggest that I find a like me.
I called Eve Liu, stammered, she said: "I also think we are not suitable." Thus, she broke up with me.
A week later, I gradually recovered from the uncomfortable physical and mental state of health, and I had already forgotten about her.
注7.6-1，诤是好心劝谏义，但佛认为诤是一切暴乱的起因，故戒诤是佛教社区的第一戒。这个年龄阶段的玉女（夏娃，观音菩萨），诤心特别重。如图7.6-1是古墨西哥的，约20-39岁的翠玉女（夏娃）的特质画。眼睛长在头顶，身体很宽，表示她傲慢，看不起别人。这是释迦摩尼（即亚当，金童，世界末日判官）在给观音菩萨（夏娃，众生之母）加冕时夸她， “无诤住最为第一” （参见《金刚经》的17.2.9 节《禁果》）的原因，旨在提醒她戒诤。
Note 7.6-1, Expostulation is the act of earnestly protesting or remonstrating, but Buddha believes that Expostulation is the cause of all riots, so abstaining from Expostulation is the first precept of the Buddhist community. The Jade Girl (Eve, Guanyin Bodhisattva), at this age, is especially heavy in Expostulation. Figure 7.6-1 is a drawing of the traits of the Jade Girl (Eve) from ancient Mexico, about 20-39 years old. Her eyes are on top of her head and her body is very wide, indicating that she is arrogant and looks down on others. This is the reason why Shakyamuni (i.e., Adam, the Golden Boy, the Judge of the Doomsday) complimented Guanyin Bodhisattva (i.e., Eve, the mother of all living beings) when he coronated her as "The Upmost Number 1 of No Expostulation Dwell” (cf. Section 17.2.9, Forbidden Fruit, of the Diamond Sutra), which was meant to remind her to abstain from expostulation.
7.6-2
一天中午，路过祝老师的宿舍门口，他叫我过去。我笑着进了他们的房间。祝老师让我走近些；我郑重其事地听。他说：“刘健君她妈让我告诉你，她说你见人往后缩，一说话还脸红，啥也不知道！她不愿意和你相处了。我不是告诉你了，要注意接人待物的举止吗！”
我立刻生气地大叫：“她早就告诉我了！” 转身离开了。
祝老师对他室友叨咕：“怎么搞的？这事不用告诉两遍。走，咱俩过去看看！” 他们俩跟到了我的房间。
One day at noon, passing by the door of Teacher Zhu's dormitory, he called me over. I smiled and entered their room. Teacher Zhu asked me to come closer; I listened solemnly. He said: "Eve Liu's mom told me to tell you that she says you shrink back when you see people, blush when you talk, and don't know anything! She doesn't want to get along with you anymore. Didn't I tell you to pay attention to your demeanor in dealing with her!"
I immediately yelled in anger: "She told me that already!" Turning away.
Teacher Zhu chattered to his roommate: "What the hell? You don't have to tell this twice. Come on, let's both go over and look!" The two of them followed me to my room.
祝老师说：“卢岩伤自尊了！” 他室友叨咕：“他还能伤自尊！”
祝老师对他的室友嚷嚷：“你闭嘴！你看谁都和你自己一样！” 对我说：“这事不怪你，你很好，很正常，是刘健君那丫头太厉害了！”
我流着眼泪说：“她厉害！那不还是我不行么！”
他的室友说：“哎呀！卢岩真的哭了，真动情了！怎么反应这么强烈？”
Teacher Zhu said, "Luyan hurt his pride!" His roommate muttered, "He can still hurt his self-esteem!"
Teacher Zhu yelled at his roommate: "Shut up! You look at everyone like yourself!" To me, he said: "You're not to blame for this, you're fine and normal, it's that girl Eve Liu who's too powerful!"
I said with tears in my eyes: "She's awesome! Then it's still me who's not good!"
His roommate said: "Oops! Luyan really cried and got emotional! Why did you react so strongly?"
祝老师对他说：“这不明摆着的事么！” 对我说：“不是你不行！刘健君是真的与众不同。这丫头挤怼人，那才让人难受呢！你别看我都四十来岁了，在没人的时候，就因为她，我都哭过五、六次了。你看，我就这么帮她介绍男朋友，她怎么对我？你和她见面那天，你都看见了（参见7.3节《相亲》）。有一次，在没别人的时候，她就这样（侧着脸）就咬牙切齿地叨咕，还让我听着，‘没用的东西，这点事儿都办不好，你还能干啥！’诶！我给她介绍男朋友，是给她办事呢；我是看在她爸爸的面子。”
Teacher Zhu said to him: "It's not obvious!" To me, he said: "It's not that you are inferior! Eve Liu is different. This girl squeezes dislike, that's what makes it hard! Look at me, I'm in my forties, but when no one's around, I've cried five or six times because of her. Look, I just introduced her to boyfriends, how did she treat me? You saw it the day you met her (cf. section 7.3 Blind Date). Once, when no one else was around, she just gritted her teeth like this (with his face turned sideways) and made me listen, 'Worthless thing, if you can't do this, what else can you do!' Eh! I introduced her to a boyfriend as a favor to her; I did it for her father's sake."
我自己也觉得这事怪，怎么反应这么强烈，说：“我没事，她说的都是事实，只是感觉委屈。”
他的室友说：“没伤自尊，人家都说对了！”
祝老师对他嚷嚷：“说错了怎么能伤自尊呢！” 又对我说：“那丫头看人的短处，那看得才准呢！”
I think this is strange, how to react so strongly, said: "I'm fine, what she said is the truth, just feel aggrieved."
His roommate said: "It didn't hurt his pride; Eve Liu is right!"
Teacher Wong yelled at him: "How can saying the wrong thing hurt self-esteem!" He also said to me: "That girl looks at people's shortcomings, that's only accurate!"
7.7 无事生非 Much Ado About Nothing
一周后，祝老师满面愁容地来找我问：“你和刘健君怎么了？打架啦？”
我当时就不耐烦了，说：“我和她没关系。在路上遇见她，我们相互不认识！你跟我说她干什么！”
祝老师说：“我是介绍人! 还一手托两家，你们之间发生了什么事儿，我有权问问！”
我认为他说的有道理，回答：“那倒是，可以问！我和她才见几面，什么事儿也没有!”
A week later, Teacher Zhu came to me with a sad face and asked: "What happened to you and Eve Liu? Were you fighting?"
I became impatient and said: "She has nothing to do with me. I met her on the road, and we didn't know each other! Why did you tell me what she was doing!"
Teacher Zhu said: "I am the matchmaker! I am also responsible for two sides. I have the right to ask what happened between you!"
I thought what he said made sense, replied: "That's true, you can ask! I've only met her a few times, nothing happened!"
祝老师说：“前天，刘健君她爸听她们娘儿俩唠嗑。刘健君气得不得了，对她妈说：卢岩一说话，脸就红！都三十来岁的人了，咋还能那样呢！还见不起人，见人往后缩！那天我们遇见我们医院的科长，我要介绍给他，他落在后面不过去！祝老师跟我说，他爱打架。那架打得才大呢！连和平区政府都出面去调解了。我问他，他说他不记得了！啥也不知道！”
Teacher Zhu said: "The day before yesterday, Eve Liu's father listened to the mother and daughter two of them chattering. Eve Liu was furious and said to her mom, ‘Whenever Luyan talks, her face turns red! He's in his thirties; how can he still be like that? He's still not good enough to see people, shrinks back when he does! The other day we met the head of our hospital's department, and I wanted to introduce him to him, but he lagged and couldn't get through! Teacher Zhu told me that he loves to fight. That fight was so big! Even the Heping District Government stepped in to mediate. I asked him, and he said he didn't remember! He didn't know anything!"
“她妈一听就来气了， ‘还啥也不知道’，那不是傻子吗！这可不行！我得找小黄子问问，某家闺女啥时候得罪他啦！他找个傻子来埋汰某家闺女！’ 她妈说着，就找我的电话号码。她爸觉着这事儿不对，就说，‘还是我给他打个电话吧’。刘健君她爸就跟我说，让我想想，问问，‘过几天你阿姨问你，怎么回答；你得先了解了解情况。’”
"Her mom got angry when she heard, 'and knows nothing', that's not stupid! This isn’t right! I'll have to ask little Huang when our daughter offended him! He's found a fool to make dirty our daughter! As her mom said, looking for my phone number. Her father thought that was not right, so he said, 'Let me call him’. Eve Liu's father then told me to think about it and investigate, 'How will you answer when your aunt asks you in a few days; you have to understand the situation first.'"
祝老师对我说：“你想想他们说的那话，你还说都是事实，那你是啥人！从东北大学四千研究生中找出个傻子来，很难！再说了，我这么大个人埋汰她干啥！你和她打架啦？”
我回答：“刘健君说的都是事实（参见7.3《相亲》），但她根本就没在意我，对我没感觉，她怎么可能被我气哭了呢？”
祝老师说：“你是说，我说谎？”
Teacher Zhu said to me: "Think about what they said, and you still say it's all true! It's hard to find a fool from the four thousand graduate students at Northeastern University! Besides, I'm a big guy like this, so what's the point of insulting her! Did you fight with her?"
I answered: "What Eve Liu said is true (cf. 7.3 Blind Date), but she didn't care about me at all and had no feelings for me. How could she be angry with me and cry?"
Teacher Zhu said: "Are you saying that I lied?"
我回答：“我没说你说谎。”
祝老师说：“这事是她爸爸告诉我的，那是她爸爸说谎？”
我回答：“她爸爸编这谎言的可能性不大。”
祝老师说：“那这事就是事实。她没对你生气，那她对我生气了？”
I answered: "I didn't say you lied."
Teacher Zhu said: "Her father told me this, so her father lied?"
I answered: "It is unlikely that her father made up this."
Teacher Zhu said: "Then this is the fact. She is not angry with you, so she is angry with me?"
我们谈了很长时间，我认为我和刘健君只是通常的处对象，见了几面，不合，分手了，这事没争议。
祝老师认为刘健君是对他不满意了，在整他。我很诧异：“她整你？”
祝老师看着我认真地说：“刘健君那丫头可不一样！你不能用通常人的认识来看她！”
We talked for a long time. I think Eve Liu and I are just ordinary lovers. We met a few times, didn't get along, and broke up. There is no dispute about this.
Teacher Zhu thought that Eve Liu was dissatisfied with him and was bullying him. I was very surprised: "She was bullying you?"
Teacher Zhu looked at me and said seriously: "Eve Liu is different! You can't look at her with the common understanding of people!"
一周后，祝老师又来找我说这事。他说他为此病了，说自己本来是四川农村来的一个义务兵，老校长对他一手培养提拔到将军，却从未求他做过别的事。二十几年来，老校长就只求他为刘健君介绍对象这一件事。结果这事越办越糟糕，弄到现在反目成仇了。
祝老师说：“老校长相信我不会做这事，可老头子的身体不好，有病，不一定哪天就咽气了。如果我现在不把这事查清楚，她爸爸死后，我们两家就没法相处了。” 他要再次调查我；区政府出面为我调解打架的事，我怎么会不记得呢！
我同意了。
A week later, Teacher Zhu came to me again to talk about this. He said he was sick because of this. He said he was originally a conscripted soldier from a rural area in Sichuan. The old principal (Troupe Leader Liu) trained him and promoted him to a general but never asked him to do anything else. For more than 20 years, the old principal only asked him to introduce Eve Liu to a boyfriend. As a result, the matter got worse and worse, and now they have become enemies.
Teacher Zhu said: "The old principal believes that I will not do this, but the old man is in poor health and is sick. He may die one day. If I don't investigate this matter now, our two families will not be able to get along after her father dies." He wants to investigate me again; how could I not remember that the district government intervened to mediate the fight for me!
I agreed.
注解7.7，这事对我的人生有什么影响？前文6.9《活见鬼》中描述了：因为那次关于黑社会的调查，至少两年房产局的人不会给我介绍女朋友；在社会上，至少影响十年。就因为这调查，后文，我的导师告诉我： “你在东北大学是不行了！别着急，你的条件不错，等以后到了工作单位，没人知道这事了，介绍女朋友的人多的是！”
Note 7.7, How did this affect my life? Described in 6.9, "Seeing Ghost Alive”, because of that investigation about the black society, people in the Heping Housekeeping Bureau would not introduce me to girlfriends for at least two years; socially, it had an impact for at least ten years. Because of this investigation, later in the text, my mentor told me: "You won't make it at Northeastern University! Don't worry, you're in good condition, when you get to your workplace later, no one will know about this, and there will be plenty of people to introduce you to girlfriends!"
一年后，我被此事气得发晕。那这事怎么闹得那么大？比如说，刘团长找几个人同时调查这事，他请沈阳市公安局长亲自来到东北大学向我们的校长询问，再请辽宁省科学委员会主任打电话给我们的系主任询问。那我们的校长和系主任当然得调查，于是我在沈阳和平房产局与黑社会有联系的事就传到了东北大学。更大的问题是刘健君比黑社会的地位要高很多。那这，刘团长是在滋事？是的，本书的第七、八章就是讲述刘团长和我打架，是我堕入地狱（即精神病）和刘团长死不瞑目的原因。
A year later, I was so angry about it. So how did it get so big? For example, Troupe Leader Liu got several people to investigate this at the same time, he asked the head of the Shenyang City Public Security Bureau to come to Northeastern University in person to ask our president about it, and then he asked the director of the Liaoning Provincial Science Committee to call our department head to ask him about it. Then, of course, our president and our department chairman had to investigate, and so the story of my contacts with the triads at the Shenyang Heping Housekeeping Bureau reached Northeastern University. The bigger problem was that Eve Liu was much higher up than the triads. So, this, Troupe Leader Liu is provoking me to fight with him? Yes. Chapters 7 and 8 of this book are about the fight between Troupe Leader Liu and me, the reason for my descent into hell (i.e., mental illness) and Troupe Leader Liu's death with eyes open.
7.8 你是谁？Who Are You?
一周后的一天，我的室友，那个来自国务院的警察（不记得他的名字了），问我：“你是谁？” 他问了又问。
我被问糊涂了，回答：“我现在真的不知道自己是谁了！”
他大发感慨：“我一向认为自己是个合格的警察，对周围的人了如指掌。今天在祝老师屋里看了他们调查你的报告。他们正在汇总你的调查报告呢。我才知道，我对我同寝室住了半年的人都一无所知。”
One week later, my roommate, the policeman from State Council (I don’t remember his name anymore), asked me, “Who are you?” He asked again and again.
I was confused and answered, “I really don’t know who I am now!”
He said with great emotion, “I always thought I was a qualified policeman and knew the people around me very well. Today I read their investigation report on you in Teacher Zhu’s room. They are compiling their investigation reports about you. I realized that I knew nothing about the people who lived with me in the dormitory for half a year.”
注7.8-0，这位来自国务院的警察室友就是前文4.5节《真人医学实验的报纸新闻》中所说的维护这项医学实验的特殊警察，就是美国电影中直接执行总统命令的那种X-File警察。本书所研究的领域位于心理学和哲学之间，对应的警察部门就是国家安全局。这是个灵魂转世实验。刘团长让他多次问我 “我是谁” 这个问题，就是让我在写回忆录时意识到我要回答上帝的无字墓碑的问题，即回答上帝的 “我是谁” 的问题。本回忆录的全书就是在系统地回答这个问题。
Note 7.8-0, this police roommate from the State Council is the special policeman who protects this medical experiment mentioned in Section 4.5 "News of Real-Life Medical Experiments", the X-File policeman who directly executes the president's orders in American movies. The field studied in this book is between psychology and philosophy, and the corresponding police department is the National Security Agency. This is a soul reincarnation experiment. By having him ask me the question, “Who am I?” so many times, Troupe Leader Liu was making me realize as I wrote my memoir that I had to answer the question of God's Wordless Tombstone, the question of God's “WHO AM I?” The whole of this memoir is a systematic effort to answer that question.
7.8-1 局长的脸 the face of bureau chief
我说：“我们家祖宗三代都是农村种地的，哪里有什么秘密可言！”
他问：“你说你们和平房产局是什么地方？”
我回答：“我听说，我们和平房产局很有名，在全国排名中是一百零几。”
I said, “Our family has been farming in the countryside for three generations, so where are the secrets to be found!”
He asked, “What did you say about your Heping Housekeeping Bureau?”
I replied, “I've heard that our Bureau is very famous and is ranked one hundred and something in the whole China.”
他说：“行！你还知道你们局有名儿。我不想误导你，你说的那个名儿是来自公安部的事故统计数字。公安部每年按地区、行业等分门别类地对事故做出统计。几年的统计数据一起看，就会发现某些地区或行业围绕着什么利益有那么一群人。那群人可能是有组织的，可能没组织，也可能是有某种松散的联系。你说你们房产局有什么利益？”
He said, “OK! You still know that your bureau is very famous. I don't want to mislead you, the name you mentioned is from the accident statistics of the Ministry of Public Security. The Ministry of Public Security makes annual statistics on accidents by region, industry, and other categories. When you look at several years' statistics together, you'll see that certain regions or industries have that group of people around what interests them. That group of people may or may not be organized, or they may be loosely connected in some way. What interests would you say your Heping Housekeeping Bureau has?”
我回答：“我们局是沈阳最大的地主，有四千处房地产。”
他说：“对了！房地产有巨大的经济利益。那你和他们是什么关系？”
我回答：“我和他们没关系！”
I replied: "Our bureau is the largest landlord in Shenyang, with 4,000 real estate properties."
He said: "That's right! Real estate has huge economic benefits. So, what is your relationship with them?"
I replied: "I have nothing to do with them!"
他说：“连我这个外行人都看明白了！你看你的那些职位，你说你们局长一天都干些啥！你不是你们局长的脸吗！”
我一想，真的！问：“怎么回事？我一个大专刚毕业的，他们怎么就要培养我当局长？”
他说：“我怎么会知道！我在问你呢！你可把我吓着了！”
He said: "Even an outsider like me can see it clearly! Look at your positions, what do your bureau chief do all day? Aren't you the face of bureau chief?"
I thought, really! I asked, "What's going on? I just graduated from college, why are they training me to be the bureau chief?"
He said, "How should I know! I'm asking you! You scared me!"
7.8-2 炮校的女婿 Son-in-law of the Artillery School
国务院警察室友又问我：“你说祝老师那群人是什么人？”
我回答：“听我舅舅说，这个炮校本来是一九三几年的延安炮校。解放后，东北的GDP约占全国的三分之一；其中，辽宁占了四分之三。那时候，大炮、雷达和导弹都是高科技。毛主席把这个炮校（即沈阳炮兵学院）安排在了沈阳，就是把屁股坐在沈阳了。我舅舅还说，老沈阳人都知道，没人敢惹他们。他们一出动，总是一群一群的，一出来就是上百人。欸！你看他们，真是一出动就是一群一群的；来念研究生，一来就来了三五十个。”
My roommate, the policeman from the State Council, asked me again, “Who do you think Teacher Zhu’s group is?”
I answered, "My uncle told me that this artillery school was originally the Yanan Artillery School in the 1930s. After liberation, the GDP of Northeast China accounted for about one-third of the country's total; Liaoning accounted for three-quarters of it. At that time, artillery, radar, and missile were all high-tech. Chairman Mao arranged this artillery school (i.e., Shenyang Artillery Academy) in Shenyang, which meant he had his butt in Shenyang. My uncle also said that old Shenyang people all knew that no one dared to mess with them. When they went out, they always came in groups, with hundreds of people at a time. Hey! Look at them, they really go out in groups; when they come to study for graduate degrees, there are thirty or fifty of them at a time."
室友说：“啊！他们这伙人叫炮校，我才知道。根据你舅舅说的和我看他们调查你的那种方式，我判断这伙人比你们房产局还出名，排名应该是三十多。”
我惊讶了：“我舅舅说沈阳有两伙人，另一伙人是我们和平房产局。我是怎么搞的！”
室友问：“你和祝老师是什么关系？他怎么那么喜欢你？”
My roommate said, "Ah! I just knew that this group of people is called the Artillery School. Based on what your uncle said and the way I saw them investigating you, I judged that this group of people is more famous than your Heping Housekeeping Bureau, should be ranked in the top 30."
I was surprised: "My uncle said there are two groups of people in Shenyang, and the other group is our Heping Housekeeping Bureau. How did I do it!"
My roommate asked, "What is your relationship with Teacher Zhu? Why does he like you so much?"
我回答：“没什么关系。你来之前，他的室友踢水房的门，把我的眼眉骨撞伤了，害得我疼了几个月。他对我有些歉意。”
室友想了想说：“这是一方面。到这儿我就发现了，他看你的眼神不一样。”
我回答：“他是想给刘健君找对象，喜欢观察，喜欢农村人的朴实。”
I answered, "Nothing. Before you came, his roommate kicked the door of the bathroom and injured my eyebrow bone, which caused me pain for several months. He felt a little sorry for me."
My roommate thought for a moment and said, "That's one aspect. I realized here that he looks at you differently."
I replied, "He wants to find a boyfriend for Eve Liu. He likes to observe and likes the simplicity of rural people."
室友又想了想说：“还有别的。”
我说：“就是介绍个对象，素不相识的，还能有什么！”
室友说：“他都调查你三次了。我看见了他们的材料，他那工作量可不小啊！你还说和他没关系！”
我感觉奇怪：“我都让你给说糊涂了！我是怎么混的！怎么和他们都扯上关系了！”
My roommate thought about it and said, "There are other things."
I said, "It's just to introduce someone to someone. We don't know each other, what else can it be!"
My roommate said, "He has investigated you three times. I have seen their materials. His workload is not small! And you still say you has nothing to do with him!"
I felt strange: "You have confused me! What did I do! How did I get involved with them!"
室友笑着说：“你想不出我今天的感觉。我以前在国务院，天天看公安部的报告，觉得我的工作挺有意思的。怎么也没想到，我到沈阳，一个住邻居，一个住同屋。你们辽宁省，还就有这两伙人。哎！你说十年以后，咱俩再见面，说个啥？”
我回答：“我和他们没关系。说啥？青梅煮酒论桑麻！酸溜溜的，和今天说的一样。”
室友说：“不一样！到那时候，我心里知道你是谁，干什么的；你心里知道我是谁，做什么工作的，心里正在敲鼓呢！”
My roommate smiled and said, "You can't imagine how I feel today. I used to work at the State Council, reading reports from the Ministry of Public Security every day, and I thought my job was quite interesting. I never thought that when I arrived in Shenyang, one of them would live next to me, and the other would live in the same room with me. There are these two groups of people in your Liaoning Province. Hey! What do you think we will talk about when we meet again in ten years?"
I replied: "I have nothing to do with them. What are we talking about? Drinking wine and talking about mulberry and green apricot! It's sour, just like what we talked about today."
My roommate said: "It's different! By then, I know who you are and what you do; you know who I am and what I do, and you are beating a drum in your heart!"
我说：“你还要约谈我！我可没那个荣幸。”
室友叨咕：“十有八九，到时候你就知道了！”
我惊讶地问：“怎么会十有八九呢？”
室友不高兴地说：“我差啥呀！也是根红苗正，博士毕业！将来，就不能当个小官儿啥的！也出来活动活动！”
I said, “And you're going to interview me! I don't have that honor.”
My roommate chimed in, “Nine times out of ten, you'll find out then!”
I asked in surprise, “How can it be nine out of ten?”
My roommate said unhappily, “I'm not that bad! I'm also a correct stalk with red root, graduated with a doctorate degree! In the future, can't I become a small official or something! Be able to move around too!”
我说：“啊！你能！但我当不上什么老舵把子！”
室友笑着说：“什么事，最终都落实在人才！我真没看出你哪里特殊，可我能看出他们都看中你了，还跑了你了！”
随后，我对此事想过多次，想不出个所以然。
I said, “Ah! You can! But I can't be any old helmsman!”
My roommate laughed and said, “In the end, everything comes down to talent! I really don't see where you're special, but I can see that they've all got their eyes on you! You can’t get away with them!”
Subsequently, I have thought about this matter many times, can not think of a reason.
7.9 第三次调查核实 Third Survey Verification
第二天的下午，祝老师找我核实他的第三次调查。他根据前两次的调查记录，把调查工作分成了三部分，三伙人同时进行。关于和平区政府派人来调解我和毕姐打架的事是他们调查的重点之一。那时，说是毕姐去找四个年青的美女来扒光我的衣服，然后押着我裸体游街。同事们害怕了，就让我回去东北大学躲开了。
In the afternoon of the second day, Teacher Zhu approached me to verify his third investigation. Based on the records of the first two investigations, he divided the investigation into three parts, with all three groups working at the same time. The matter about the Heping District government sending someone to mediate the fight between Sister Bi and me was one of the focuses of their investigation. At that time, said Bi sister went to find four beautiful young women to strip my clothes, and then escorted me naked parade. Colleagues are afraid, let me go back to Northeastern University to avoid.
祝老师问：“可事后，你还是听说了。你的那位毕姐坐在大街上哭，几千人围观，最后怎么结束的？”
我回答：“我听说，毕姐坐在大街上哭；很长时间，谁也劝不好。人们对局长说，你得想想办法，公安局很快就该来找我们了，咱们阻碍交通了。局长到毕姐的旁边小声叨咕，‘小毕你知道不？就在刚才，你差点儿坏了我的大事！’ 说完，他就回局里去了。过了一会儿，毕姐忽然不哭了，问，局长说什么了？人们告诉了她，她听后就不哭了，站起来就回家了。”
Teacher Zhu asked, "But you still heard about it afterwards. Your sister Bi sat on the street crying, with thousands of people watching. How did it end?"
I answered, "I heard that Sister Bi sat on the street crying for a long time, and no one could persuade her. People said bureau chief that he had to think of a way, because the Police Bureau would come to find us soon, and we were blocking traffic. The bureau chief came to Sister Bi and whispered, 'Little Bi, do you know? Just now, you almost ruined my plan!' Then he went back to the bureau. After a while, Sister Bi suddenly stopped crying and asked, ‘what did the bureau chief say?’ People told her, and she stopped crying after hearing it, stood up and went home."
祝老师问：“怎么你们局长的大事还和你有关系？”
我回答：“人们都琢磨了，怎么咱局长的大事还和我卢岩有关系？没人明白，我不知道。”
祝老师笑着，转到背后，弯腰干什么去了（注1）。我没注意到他的奇怪举动。
Teacher Zhu asked, “How come your bureau chief's big plan still has something to do with you?”
I replied, “People have wondered how our bureau chief's big affair has something to do with me Adam Luyan. No one understands; I don't know.”
Teacher Zhu smiled, turned around, and bent over to do something. I didn't notice his strange behavior.
注7.9-1，他转身去干什么了？后面的谈话中，他的室友哭着和他争吵，他认为是他们的调查报告毁坏了刘健君六年的恋爱生活。他的室友哭着告诉我：“他趁你没注意，转过身去乐！他为什么乐成那样儿了？他认为这次刘建君要倒霉了！” 作者卢岩现在认为祝老师高兴的原因是这样的。刘团长在对卢岩下死不瞑目的诅咒，就是他后半生三十几年一直在背后帮助卢岩，只求卢岩回报一件事，娶他女儿刘建君为妻。在和平房产局期间，刘团长做了很多工作，帮助卢岩，卢岩得要知道，记着那些恩惠，那他的死不瞑目诅咒才有效。通过本文的问答，祝老师发现卢岩知道和平房产局发生的事，而且不知道背后的主使者是刘团长。也就是刘团长在和平房产局对卢岩的做法取得了完全的成功，所以他高兴，禁不住地笑。
Note 7.9-1, what did he do when he turned around? In the following conversation, his roommate cried and argued with him. He believed that their investigation reports had ruined Eve Liu's six-year love life. His roommate cried and told me: "He turned around and laughed while you were not paying attention! Why was he so happy? He thought Eve Liu was going to be in trouble this time!" The reason author Luyan now thinks Teacher Zhu is happy is this. Troupe leader was using “Die with Eyes Open” to curse on Luyan, that is, the second half of his life for more than thirty years has been behind the scenes to help Luyan, only asking Luyan in return for one thing, to marry his daughter Eve Liu as wife. During the period of the Heping Housekeeping Bureau, Troupe Leader Liu did a lot of work to help Luyan, Luyan must know and remember those favors, then his curse of “Die with Eyes Open” will be effective. Through the questions and answers in this article, Teacher Zhu found out that Luyan knew what happened at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau and doesn't know that the mastermind behind it is Troupe Leader Liu. That is, Troupe Leader Liu's approach to Luyan at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau was a complete success, so he was happy and couldn't help but laugh.
祝老师的室友问他：“那你派去他们公司调查的人怎么说的？”
祝老师对我说：“我从军区里找了几个职业的调查员。他们人多，有十多个人，到你们公司后就分别去了各个科。你们公司的人说，别人区政府都调查了，就没调查卢岩。卢岩！这事区政府为什么出面？为什么没人问你？你听说了吗？”
Teacher Zhu's roommate asked him, “So what did the people you sent to investigate their company say?”
Teacher Zhu said to me, “I got a few professional investigators from the military district. There were many of them, more than a dozen, and when they arrived at your firm they went to each section. The people in your company said that all other people district governments have investigated, but not Luyan. Luyan! Why did the district government intervene in this case? Why didn't anyone ask you? Have you heard?”
我回答：“我听说了。在我这事的一年前，我的那个职位也是个大学刚毕业的，他被局里的那群女人扒光了衣服。听说，那人受到了刺激（轻度精神病），市工会把他安排到别的地方去了。那个案子还没处理完，我的事就发生了。这事就被和平区工会报告给了市工会。市工会的人生气了，报告给了一位副市长，还说：‘这触犯刑法了，你们把责任推脱给我们，我们处理不了。这次，你们和平区的区长自己立刻组织人调解。如果卢岩被吓着了（注2）。我们出面把你们和平区政府告上法庭。’和平区政府就立刻派出了一位区长出面调解。”
I answered, "I heard about it. A year before my case, the person who held the same position as me was also a recent college graduate. He was stripped naked by the group of women in the bureau. I heard that the man was stimulated (mildly mentally ill), and the city labor union arranged for him to work somewhere else. That case had not been handled yet when my case happened. The Heping District Labor Union reported this to the Shenyang City Labor Union. The City Labor Union people were angry and reported it to a deputy mayor, saying, 'This violates the criminal law. You are pushing the responsibility onto us, and we cannot handle it. If Adam Luyan is frightened (Note 2). We'll take your Heping District Government to court.’ The Heping District government then immediately sent a district governor to mediate.”
我继续说：“他们找到了我们的科长付国青。付科长说，这调解的目的是别让小卢被吓着了。卢岩不知道，也不懂，所以他不害怕。如果你们调解，给他讲明白了，反倒是吓着他了。所以，他们就告诉所有人，谁也别和我说这事。”
注2，受惊吓与精神病相关，这在精神病学中被誉为铁律。这次调查核实后，我确实想起了那事，后怕！我清晰地记得，此次谈话后，我就又有了被刘建君创伤后的精神病人的感觉。那时我不懂，2014年，写回忆录时，才懂的。
I continued, “They found our section chief, Guoqing Fu. Fu said that the purpose of this mediation was not to let Luyan be scared. Luyan doesn't know and doesn’t understand, so he's not scared. If you mediate and make it clear to him, it will scare him instead. So, they just told everybody, nobody talks to me about this.”
Note 2: Being frightened is related to mental illness, which is known as an IRON LAW in psychiatry. After this investigation and verification, I did remember that incident and was scared! I clearly remember that after this conversation, I felt like a mental patient who had been traumatized by Eve Liu. I didn't understand it at the time, but I understood it in 2014 when I was writing my memoirs.
祝老师说：“可你还是都知道了，怎么没当回事呢！”
我回答：“要不是你告诉，我没认为这事儿有多少是真的！”
调查核实结束时，祝老师说，因为他们的调查报告，刘健君从开始就因为这次打架的事对我产生了误会，该怎么办？我这时想起她就全身难受（注，被刘建君刺激伤了），回答：“过去，就让它过去吧！”
Teacher Zhu said: "But you knew everything, why didn't you take it seriously?"
I replied: "If you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have thought much of it was true!"
At the end of the investigation, Teacher Zhu said that because of their investigation report, Eve Liu had misunderstood me from the beginning because of the fight. What should I do? I felt uncomfortable all over when I thought of her (note, I was traumatized by Eve Liu), answered: "Past! Let it go!"
祝老师就和他的室友吵起来了：这可怎么跟那老公姆俩（刘健君父母）说！祝老师的室友哭着抱怨：“咱这三次调查卢岩，三个报告中的三个人，现在看起来都不是卢岩！那咱们以前的那些报告呢！？刘健君，年青人多做些谈恋爱的工作没什么大不了的，咱们把她的青春耽误了！”
Teacher Zhu quarreled with his roommate about what to say to the old couple (Eve Liu's parents)! Teacher Zhu's roommate cried and complained, “We've investigated Adam Luyan three times, and the three people in the three reports all don't look like Luyan now! What about our previous reports? Eve Liu, it's no big deal for young people to do more work on love affairs, we've ruined her youth!”
7.10 父母和她吵 Parents Quarrel with Eve
随后的一天中午，我在祝老师的屋里一边吃饭，一边说话。他说：“这些天，刘健君他们家那架打得才热闹呢！被她爸妈骂得一声不吭。”
我说：“说说就行了呗！怎么还能打架这些天呢？”
祝老师说：“她都多大了，这个不行，那个还不行，这对象咋找哇！得给她留下个教训。”
我问：“他们是怎么教训她的？”
The following day at noon, I was eating and talking in Teacher Zhu’s room. He said, “These days, the fights in Eve Liu’s family are intense! She was scolded by her parents without saying a word.”
I said, “Just talk about it! How can they even fight these days?”
Teacher Zhu said, “How old is she, this isn’t right, nor that, how can she find a boyfriend! Must teach her a lesson.”
I asked, “How did they teach her a lesson?”
祝老师说：“她妈说她，‘你看人行；你看人比和平房产局局长都厉害。人家局长说，卢岩和人成事，什么事发生了，有他在，我放心！让你一看，愣子！人家局长是啥人呐！他看人还能错！再说人家那是多少人开会研究出来的。这对象还怎么找！算了，别找了！’”
Teacher Zhu said, “Her mom said her, 'You are good at looking people; you identify people better than the chief of Heping Housekeeping Bureau. The bureau chief said, ‘Luyan unites people and establish affairs, what happened, have him in, I am at ease! Let you look, a Dumb! What kind of person is the Bureau Chief! He can still see people wrong! Besides, that is decision many people have met and studied? How can we find a boyfriend! Forget it, don't look for him anymore!”
我问：“那刘健君说啥？”
祝老师说：“刘健君一声不出，啥话也不说。这我看着才好笑呢！”
我指着祝老师，祝老师一躲，像小孩似的，说：“你这人咋幸灾乐祸呢！”
祝老师说：“六、七年了，她可把我欺负苦了。我这还是头一次，借你的光，赢了。”
I asked, "What did Eve Liu say?"
Teacher Zhu said, "Eve Liu kept silent, didn't say a word. I looked it funny and amusing!"
I pointed at Teacher Zhu, who ducked, like a child, and said, “Why are you gloating!”
Teacher Zhu said, “For six or seven years, she's bullied me hard. This is the first time I've ever, by your light, won.”
我对这话不理解，问：“借我的什么光？我怎么感觉不到！”
祝老师说：“那你说，你和刘健君的事咋办？”
我说：“我和她早就分手了！过去就过去了！”
祝老师和室友商量了一下，说：“刘健君那么说你，说你傻，像小孩儿似的，你就不生气？”
I didn’t understand what he said, so I asked, “What light are you borrowing from me? Why can’t I feel it?”
Teacher Zhu said, “Then tell me, what are you going to do about your relationship with Eve Liu?”
I said, “I broke up with her a long time ago! Let bygones be bygones!”
Teacher Zhu discussed it with his roommate and said, “Eve Liu said that about you, that you're stupid, like a child, and you're not angry?”
我说：“人家在自己家里爱说什么说什么！我和她不相关，大街上遇见了，根本就不认识对方。你们要是不说，我根本就不知道，跟你们生气才对！”
祝老师叨咕：“她妈说，这都不行！看来卢岩是被她给整伤了，没有她那样的，见面就诤。人家刚见面都是说些简单轻快的话，让对方感觉舒适。她可好，一点儿面子也不给留！”
我听了后，能感觉到被刘健君刺激得全身沉重和伤痛，觉得她妈可真是个体贴人的女人，被感动得几乎哭了。
I said, “People say what they like in their own homes! I'm not related to her, we met on the street, we don't even know each other. If you guys hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have even known, and it's only right to be angry with you!”
Teacher Zhu muttered, “Her mom said, this is not even acceptable! It seems that Luyan has been hurt by her. Nobody like her, expostulating whenever meeting. People just met are saying some simple and light words to make each other feel comfortable. But she, left others no little face!”
After listening to it, I could feel the heaviness and pain all over my body caused by Eve Liu. I thought her mother was such a considerate woman, and I was so moved that I almost cried.
7.10-2
这个话题祝老师说了又说，一次，祝老师一说，我转身就走了。
我的室友，国务院警察，回来问我：“好好地说话呢！你怎么就不高兴，走了呢？”
Teacher Zhu talked about this topic again and again. Once, when Teacher Zhu talked about it, I turned around and left.
My roommate, the State Council policeman came back and asked me: "We were talking peacefully! Why are you so unhappy and leaving?"
我回答：“她们家打架与我有什么关系！老说因为我，我听了就全身不舒服。再说，事情都已经过去了，他们总是这么说，我怕我会患单相思病。”
过了一会儿，他说：“你说得对，考虑你和刘健君以前的关系，她的话题对你不合适。他们是我的同学，我告诉他们，以后别在你面前说她家的事了。”
I replied: "What does the fight in their family have to do with me! They always say it's because of me, and I feel uncomfortable all over. Besides, it's all over. They keep saying this, and I'm afraid I'll fall into the illness of unilateral love.”
After a while, he said: "You are right. Considering your previous relationship with Eve Liu, her topic is not suitable for you. They are my classmates, and I will tell them not to talk about her family in front of you in the future."
7.10-3
在这期间，（我的精神病潜伏症发展迅速）。我接触的房产局那帮人，只是和平房产局的一些小人物，但让我感受到了“黑社会”。炮校，刘健君她爸可比和平房产局的人厉害很多，让我感觉恐怖。博士生宿舍和其它的学生宿舍不一样，这里面什么人都有。
那时，我哥哥是沈阳东塔机场的飞行员。他们机场距离沈阳炮兵学院（炮校）不远。我和哥哥说起了炮校。
他说：“什么炮校？我怎么不知道！部队里，学校都是师级以上的单位。在沈阳，还在我们附近，如果有，我不可能没听说过。”
我说：“我听王玉山大舅说过。沈阳是有这个炮校，这错不了！”
哥哥想了一会儿：“有可能，解放初期，那些老功臣没地方安排，就给他们个名头，让他们自己玩去吧！”
During this period, (my latent psychosis developed rapidly). The people in Heping Housekeeping Bureau that I met were just some small figures in the Bureau, but they made me feel the "mafia". In the Artillery School, Eve Liu's father was much more powerful than the people in Heping Housekeeping Bureau, which made me feel terrified. The doctoral dormitory is different from other student dormitories, there are all kinds of people in it.
At that time, my brother was a pilot at Shenyang Dongta Airport. Their airport was not far from the Shenyang Artillery Academy (Artillery School). I talked to my brother about the artillery school.
He said, “What artillery school? How come I don't know! In the army, schools are all above division level. In Shenyang, and in our neighborhood, if there is one, there's no way I haven't heard of it.”
I said, “I heard from uncle Yushan Wang. Shenyang is there this artillery school; this can not be wrong!”
My brother thought for a while, replied, “It's possible that, in the early days of liberation, those old meritorious officials had no place to arrange for them, so they gave them a name and let them play on their own!”
7.10-4
一天，祝老师来到我的房间，我以为他又要撮合我和刘健君的事。他不好意思地说，他看常和我在一起的同学垢遵义不错，问我他有没有女朋友。我帮助祝老师介绍垢遵义给了刘健君。
过了一段时间，我和他在一起时，忽然想起了他和刘健君的事，就问：你和刘健君怎么样了？他转身“蹭” 一下！跑啦！我不知道发生了什么事，却看到他到一边闲逛去了。这我可生气了。他回来后，我就刁难地说： “我也没说什么呀！我这当介绍人的就随便问一下。” 他说：“老弟别介意，这是哥的错！人家跟咱哥们可不是一个档次的；哥哥这次可丢脸丢大了！以后千万别再说她了！” 说完，他说有事，走了。
One day, Teacher Zhu came to my room, and I thought he was going to match me up with Eve Liu again. He said shyly that he thought Zunyi Gou, a classmate I often hang out with, was pretty good, and asked me if he had a girlfriend. I helped Teacher Zhu introduce Zunyi Gou to Eve Liu.
After a while, when I was with him, I suddenly remembered what happened between him and Eve Liu, so I asked him: “How are you and Eve Liu doing?” He turned around and ran away! I didn't know what happened, but I saw him wandering off to the side. This made me angry. After he came back, I said to him in a difficult way: "I didn't say anything! I was just asking casually as a matchmaker.” He said: "Don't mind it, brother, it's my fault! She is not on the same level as us brothers; I am so embarrassed this time! Don't talk about her again in the future!" After that, he said he had something to do and left.
我心想，“这刘健君可真厉害，怎么把垢遵义刺激成这样了；他还不如我呢！我没被刺激得转身就跑。”（那时，我还不知道，我已经被刘建君刺激疯了）。
一天，在走廊里我遇到了祝老师，好奇地问垢遵义和刘健君的事。他一听就不高兴了，阴沉着脸，对我的意见很大。我说，那是你的主意，你跟我发脾气干什么！他无可奈何地说，别说了，不行，那俩人没的谈！她还叨咕呢：东北大学也是个名牌大学呀，学生的素质怎么都这么差！
我听了，感觉难为情，面露惭愧。
I thought to myself, "This Eve Liu is really amazing. How could she stimulate Zunyi Gou to this extent? He is not as good as me! I was not so stimulated that I turned around and ran away." (At that time, I didn't know that I had been driven crazy by Eve Liu).
One day, I met Teacher Zhu in the corridor and asked him curiously about Zunyi Gou and Eve Liu. He was unhappy when he heard it, and his face was gloomy. He was very dissatisfied with me. I said, “that was your idea, why are you angry with me!” He said helplessly, “Don't say it, no, there is no point in talking about those two people! She was still mumbling: Northeastern University is also a famous university, why are the students’ quality so low!”
When I heard this, I felt embarrassed and ashamed.
祝老师看着我，叹了口气，说：“你们都正常，是刘健君太聪明了，谁也骗不了她。她处了一百多个男朋友了，我们都看得清清楚楚。她以为自己对谁都挺好，可是那些男的，谁也受不了她的好，见着她就躲。有的，在街上遇见她了，假装看不见，转身就跑。这事，我和她爸妈都看得清清楚楚。就因为她的婚事，我们仨人早就有上吊、自杀的心啦！”
注7.10-1，和第2章古代《桃花劫》中刘员外总是因为常公和桃花女打架类似，本文刘团长夫妇总是因为我卢岩和刘健君吵架，目的是确保让她记住我，同时也在培养我的精神病潜伏症。
Teacher Zhu looked at me, sighed, and said, "You are all normal. Eve Liu is too smart. No one can fool her. She has had more than a hundred boyfriends, and we can all see it clearly. She thinks she is nice to everyone, but those men can't stand her kindness and hide when they see her. Some men, when they meet her on the street, pretend not to see her and turn around, run away. Her parents and I saw this clearly. Just because of her marriage, the three of us have wanted to hang ourselves to commit suicide!"
Note 7.10-1, like the ancient story of "Peach Blossom Catastrophe" in Chapter 2, where Publican Liu always quarrels with Peach Flower Girl because of Constant Fair; in this article, parents always quarrel with Eve Liu because of me, Luyan, to make sure she remembers me, and at the same time cultivate my latent mental illness.
7.11 性格互补 Complementary Personalities
在1996年夏的一天，食堂里，我看见祝老师表情呆滞，就过去逗他：“给刘健君物色对象呢！看花眼了吧？”
祝老师瞥了我一眼，说：“工作丢了，心情还能好！”
我听了一愣，说：“噢，贪污受贿太多了!那你都躲到学校来了，它们还不依不饶啊！”
祝老师生气地说：“前几天，刘健君告诉她妈：‘以后别让祝老师和卢岩给我介绍对象了，他们介绍的那些人都不行！’”
One day in the summer of 1996, in the cafeteria, I saw Teacher Zhu with a dull expression, so I went over to tease him: "You are looking for a partner for Eve Liu! Are you dazzled?"
Teacher Zhu glanced at me and said: "I lost my job; how can I be in a good mood!"
I was stunned and said: "Oh, too much corruption and bribery! Then you have hidden in the school, how come they still won't give up tracing you!"
Teacher Zhu said angrily: "A few days ago, Eve Liu told her mother: 'Don't let Teacher Zhu and Adam Luyan introduce me to boyfriend in the future, the ones they introduce are not good enough!'"
我听了高兴又好奇：“这里面怎么还有我的名字呢？”
祝老师说：“刘健君就是这么说的，她记性好。”
我和祝老师一边吃饭一边唠嗑。他说：“都过去了，说那个没啥用。我们都绝望了！”
我说：“咋还绝望了呢！她自己琢磨着，发现了，就自己改正了；不都说女大十八变吗！”
I was happy and curious: "Why is my name here?"
Teacher Zhu said: "That's what Eve Liu. She has a good memory."
Teacher Zhu and I chatted while eating. He said, "It's all in the past. There's no point talking about that. We are all hopeless!"
I said, "Why are you hopeless? She figured it out, found it, and corrected it herself. Don't people say woman transform 18 times when they are growing up?"
7.11-2
祝老师说：“她们家又打起来了，她妈就骂她，‘那个卢岩的同学，人家祝老师在他的单位，和平区文化局，下属学校，和东北大学研究生院，问了三十多人，都说是标准小伙儿。让你一看，还不如一个愣仔（即卢岩）！这对象还咋找？不找了!’”
我说：“垢遵义可不傻，咋还出来 ‘不如一个愣仔’，这话了呢？”
祝老师听了，来兴趣了，说：“没人说垢遵义傻。借你的光，我得到了表扬！”
我好奇地问：“我哪里有光？怎么表扬你的？”
Teacher Zhu said: “Their family fought again, her mother scolded her, 'that Luyan's classmate, Teacher Zhu asked more than thirty people in his working place, the Heping District Cultural Bureau, the subordinate schools, and the Graduate School of Northeastern University, all said he is a standard boy. Let you look, not as good as a dumb (i.e. Luyan)! How to find a boyfriend? Do not look for it!'”
I said, “Zunyi Gou is not dumb, how come out ‘not as good as a dumb’, this word?”
Teacher Zhu got interested and said, "No one said that Zunyi Gou is a Dumb. By your light, I got praised!"
I asked curiously, "Where did I have the light? How did they praise you?"
祝老师说：“后来，她妈分析：垢遵义是个标准小伙儿，这肯定错不了。她说他不如卢岩，那不是对卢岩有那么一点儿好印象吗！”
我琢磨了一会儿，说：“你这是在表扬我，还是在损我？谁能把随口说话中的那一小点儿好感当好感！”
祝老师说：“我是在正经地说话。你可别小看这半句好话。自从我们开始给她介绍对象，到现在都介绍100多个了，就只从你身上得到了这半句从字缝里抠出来的好话。这我们就高兴了。”
我回答：“我不认为这算好话；只能算是有印象。”
Teacher Zhu said, “Later, her mom analyzed: Zunyi Gou is a standard young man, this is not wrong. She said he is inferior to Luyan, isn't that a good impression of Luyan!”
I pondered for a while and said, “Are you praising me, or are you undermining me? Who can take that little bit of favorable impression in casual speech as favorable impression!”
Teacher Zhu said, "I am speaking seriously. Don't underestimate this half-sentence of compliments. Since we started introducing her to potential partners, we have introduced more than 100 people to her, and you are the only one who got her this half-sentence of compliments. We are happy about this."
I replied, "I don't think it is a compliment; it is just a little good impression."
7.11-3
祝老师说：“对！就是有半点儿好印象！她还不用我给她介绍对象了！你不知道，五六年了，我和她爸妈，还有几个别人，我们就一起研究她，研究怎么给她介绍对象。从开始我就买书看，研究怎么看人，怎么进行婚姻搭配。跟你这么说吧！虽然我这个东北大学的博士学位还没拿着，要是有婚姻介绍的博士学位，那我早就得着了。我那心得呀！早就够编一本书的啦！”
我说：“举个例子听听。”
祝老师说：“就说你和刘健君吧。我们发现了六个方面你和她互补。”
Teacher Zhu said, “Right! It's just half a good impression! She doesn't need me to introduce her to anyone anymore! You don't know, for five or six years now, her parents and I, and a few other people, we've been studying her together, studying how to introduce her to someone. I've been buying books since the beginning, studying how to read people, how to make marriage matches. Let me put it to you this way! I haven't gotten my doctorate from Northeastern University yet, but if Northeastern University had a doctorate in marriage introduction, I would have gotten it a long time ago. I'd have gotten a doctorate in marriage introduction! I could have written a book about it!”
I said, “Give me an example.”
Teacher Zhu said: "Let's talk about you and Eve Liu. We found six aspects in which you complement each other."
我问：“什么互补？”
祝老师说：“要说夫妻百年好合，它得夫妻双方都有对方喜欢的优点。你学习不好，从小就喜欢好学生；刘健君是个好学生。就这一点，你们俩在一起，你就总喜欢她，她干啥错事儿，你都能原谅她；这，一辈子不变。”
我问：“其他方面呢？”
祝老师摇头：“我不告诉你！”
I asked: "What complements?"
Teacher Zhu said: “To say that the couple is good for a hundred years, it must be that both husband and wife have the advantages that the other likes. You do not study well since childhood, like good students; Eve Liu is a good student. On this aspect, the two of you together, you always like her, she did what wrong, you can forgive her; this, the same for life.”
I asked: "What about other aspects?"
Teacher Zhu shook his head: "I won't tell you!"
7.11-4
沉默了一会儿，祝老师说：“找对象是关系一辈子幸福的大事，有知识的人要全面地分析。你得从一辈子的时间上来考虑。你说啥叫少年夫妻老来伴儿？”
我回答：“我说不好，你说吧！”
祝老师说：“夫妻老了，互相是个说话的伴儿。如果夫妻没有共同语言，那就不是伴儿了。就刘健君那个知识水平，那个脾气，到头来是孤家寡人，身边连个说说知心话儿的人都没有。”
After a moment of silence, Teacher Zhu said, "Finding a partner is a major event that affects your lifelong happiness. Knowledgeable people should analyze it comprehensively. You must consider it from a lifetime perspective. What do you say of young couples and old companions?’"
I replied, "I can't explain it, tell me!"
Teacher Zhu said: "When a couple grows old, they are companions for each other to talk to. If a couple has no common language, they are not companions. With Eve Liu's level of knowledge and temper, she ended up being a lonely woman without even someone to intimately talk to."
我说：“你怎么就那么肯定，人都在变。”
祝老师说：“我当然肯定，不肯定我不说。这个，她就不变，谁能受得了她呀！你能受得了。”
我说：“谁都受不了；我能受得了，我咋就那么能忍呢！”
I said, "How can you be so sure? People are changing."
Teacher Zhu said, "Of course, I am sure. If I am not sure, I won't say it. Well, she won't change. Who can stand her? You can stand it."
I said, "No one can stand it; I can stand it. How can I be so tolerant?"
祝老师说：“你是那性格。”
我说：“我是啥性格？我就能受气？”
祝老师说：“这我们都看得好好的了。你们俩刚好般配，谁也不吃亏，谁也不占便宜。你比她长得好那么一点点儿；可她比你聪明。”
Teacher Zhu said, "You have that kind of personality."
I said, "What kind of personality do I have? Can I bear being bullied?"
Teacher Zhu said, "We can see this clearly. You two are a perfect match, neither of you will suffer a loss, and neither of you will take advantage. You are a little bit better looking than her, but she is smarter than you."
7.11-5
我说：“你活该！介绍人都是灶王爷上天，好话多说，坏话少说；好事两头传，坏事两头瞒。你是怎么介绍的！我就从来没听你说过刘健君一句好话，有你这样的介绍人吗！如果你告诉我：刘健君喜欢我。在我这方面，感情培养得不就快！我对她的好感强，自然影响她。你说她对我有半点儿好印象，我怎么可能做成功率这么低的事。我得找个对我好感多些的来培养。”
祝老师严肃地说：“那话是你说的，不是我说的。我不在这里面添油加醋，有个梗就掭个叶儿。我只是如实说实际发生了的事儿。这样，假如有一天，你和刘健君之间发生了纠纷，后果都是由你们自己的决定造成的，与我无关。”
I said, "You deserve it! The introducer is like the Kitchen God, who says more good things than bad things. It spreads the good to both sides and conceal the bad from either end. How did you introduce her? I have never heard you say a good word about Eve Liu. Is there an introducer like you? If you told me that Eve Liu liked me, then in my case, the relationship would be cultivated quickly! I have a strong liking for her, so it naturally affects her. You said that she had the slightest good impression of me, so how could I accomplish such a low success rate? I have to find someone who likes me more to cultivate."
Teacher Zhu said seriously, "You said that, not me. I won't exaggerate or make up stories. I just tell the truth about what happened. In this way, if there is a dispute between you and Liu Jianjun one day, the consequences will be caused by your own decision and have nothing to do with me."
我说：“我和她对面不相逢，还能有什么纠纷（注5）！？你连这么点儿责备都不想担，为什么还要做介绍人？”
祝老师说：“我说假如有一天你和刘健君之间发生了纠纷。我可不是媒婆，是你们俩的长辈。我这样对待你们，有益于你们的成长。”
我似有所悟。
I said, “She and I don't meet even when we face each other, what dispute can there be (Note 5)!? You don't even want to take so little blame, so why do you still want to be the matchmaker?”
Teacher Zhu said, “I'm saying that if one day there is a dispute between you and Eve Liu. I'm not a grandma matchmaker, I'm the elder of the two of you. It's beneficial for you to grow up if I treat you this way.”
I seemed to be enlightened.
注7.11-5，我和刘健君之间有什么纠纷？本书的7.3节《相亲》，刘建君故意创伤了我，给我留下了精神病潜伏症（亦作腐尸虫，蛊，雷音的恶魔）。本文祝老师正在重复刺激我，培养我的精神病潜伏症，即正在喂养我身体里的腐尸虫（蛊），送我去地狱（即患上精神病）。
Note 7.11-5, What is the dispute between Eve Liu and me? In section 7.3 of this book, “Blind Date”, Eve Liu deliberately traumatized me and left me with psychotic latent disorder (also known as carrion beetle, Thor’s Devil). In this article, Teacher Zhu is repeatedly stimulating me and cultivating my psychotic latent disorder, i.e., he is feeding the carrion beetle (Thor’s Devil) in my body to send me to hell (i.e., suffering from psychosis).
7.12 百变神通 Hundred Godly Transformations
梁伯给我讲过，百变神通是一种古代说书人的职业技能。表演者在台上作一百个动作，观众可能看成几十个人物。这在现实生活中会产生什么效果？
一天晚上，宿舍对门的韩华伟告诉我，祝老师找我有事，让我在宿舍门口等他。我自己站在宿舍门口对面的路边等了20多分钟。
忽然看见他和一对儿三十多岁的男女（人物一）从宿舍楼口出来了。我追了过去。他们三个看见我跑过去，站住了，面对我。
祝老师给我介绍说：“这是我们学校的老师，孩子在本院上一年级，学习忙，没时间回家；他们就过来看孩子了。”
Uncle Liang once told me that Hundred Godly Transformations is an ancient storyteller's professional skill. When a performer makes a hundred movements on stage, the audience may see them as a few dozens of characters. What effect does this have in real life?
One evening, Huawei Han, who was across the corridor from the dormitory room, told me that Teacher Zhu was looking for me and asked me to wait for him at the dormitory entrance.
I stood on the curb opposite the dormitory entrance and waited for more than 20 minutes. When I suddenly saw him and a pair of men and women in their thirties (Character 1) coming out of the dormitory building. I ran after them. The three of them saw me running to them and stood still, facing me.
Teacher Zhu introduced me, "This is a teacher from our school, the child is in first grade at this institution, is busy with his studies and doesn't have time to go home. They came over to see the child."
我尴尬地抬头看XXX，四十多岁（人物二；即刘团长，刘健君她爸，这时他应该约66岁），高个子，尖下颌，笔直地站在那里看着我。她妈对他说话。她妈穿着件花色衣服，三十多岁。她爸大笑着走动了，到我的跟前，落了个前式（险些向前摔倒）。我过去扶他，距离他的侧脸很近，我看见他是个七十多岁的老人（人物三）。他起来了，五十多岁的人（人物四）。我们说了几句话，她妈拉她爸，要离开，俩人都是不到四十岁（人物五）。他们俩像似情人一样打闹着，接着俩人各举起一只手，十指相扣（如图7.12-1），像似热恋的情人一样，离开了。
I looked up awkwardly at XXX, in his forties (Character 2; i.e., Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu's father, who would have been about 66 years old at this point), tall with a pointed jaw, standing straight and looking at me. Her mom spoke to him. Her mom was wearing a floral dress and was in her thirties. Her dad walked around with a big smile, came up to me and fell forward style (nearly falling forward). I went over to help him, close enough to the side of his face that I saw he was a seventy-something year old man (character 3). He got up, in his fifties (character 4). We said a few words and her mom pulled her dad, to leave, both under forty (character 5). The two of them jostled as if they were lovers, and then both raised one hand each, interlocked their fingers (see fig. 7.12-1), and left as if they were passionate lovers.
祝老师说他没找我。我对韩华伟感到气愤，走在宿舍的走廊里，忽然觉得不对。我感觉刚才有很多人从我身边经过，有些人是从楼的墙里出来的，不知所终。我仔细地感知我的身体，没有异样；这说明我刚才没有幻觉。我回到了刚才见面的地方琢磨刚才发生了什么事：人不可能从墙里出来，这时也没什么人。
Teacher Zhu said he didn't look for me. I was angry with Huawei Han, and walking in the corridor of the dormitory, I suddenly felt something was wrong. I felt that many people had just passed by me, and some of them had come out of the wall of the building and disappeared. I carefully felt my body, and there was nothing unusual; this meant that I didn't hallucinate just now. I returned to the place where we had just met and thought about what had happened just now: people couldn't come out of the wall, and there were not many people at that time.
注7.12，这件事迷惑了我20多年，2014年写完回忆录才分析出来，他们是刘健君的父母，有男神和女神的外貌（参见11.4.1节色蕴中的极略色）。刘团长是讲故事的演员出身，由于他有男神的外貌，所以练成了百变神通。那时是傍晚，天色是灰色的。这种灰色的天色下，无意识不抓取事物的特征。我的无意识没有抓到他们俩的特征，而是被他们的特征性举止误导了，所以随着时间的推移，把他们俩当成了一群人。
Note 7.12, this case has puzzled me for more than 20 years. I only figured it out after I finished writing my memoirs in 2014. They are Eve Liu's parents, who have the appearance of God and Goddess (see the “Extremely Abstract Colors” in Section 11.4.1). Troupe Leader Liu was originally a storyteller. Because he has the appearance of a God, he has mastered the ability of “Hundred Godly Transformations”. It was evening and the sky was gray. In this gray sky, the unconscious does not grasp the characteristics of things. My unconscious did not grasp the characteristics of the two of them, but was misled by their characteristic behaviors, so as time went by, I thought they were a group of people.
那时，我是研究生一年级。从我刚进入中学，高中，和大学都有奇怪的事发生来看，他们是来为我庆祝上研究生的，并且为我表演了百变神通。另外，刘团长还给了我一个祝福：他们俩心心相印的扣手（如图7.12-1）是佛教中欢喜佛的象征。刘建君的父母在祝福我和刘建君“十全十美，百年好合”（即欢喜佛，如图2至4）。
At that time, I was a first-year graduate student. From the strange things that happened when I just entered middle school, high school, and college, they came to celebrate my admission to graduate school and performed “Hundred Godly Transformations” for me. In addition, Troupe Leader Liu also gave me a bless: the two of them holding hands with ten fingers Interlocked (as shown in Figure 7.12-1) is a symbol of the Consummation Buddha in Buddhism. Eve Liu’s parents are blessing me and Eve Liu “ten aspects perfection, 100 years good match”, that is, the Consummation Buddha (as shown in pictures 2 to 4).
