Defecation and Treason
～ Departing China for USA in 1979
August 2023
For the sake of completeness, I must begin the story in the summer of 1966. I was 20 years old at the time. Before completing my freshman year in the Radio Engineering Department at Xi’an Jiaotong University, the Cultural Revolution erupted. I was labeled a reactionary student due to a few remarks I had made about Jiang Qing (江青), Chen Boda (陈伯达), and Lin Biao (林彪), coupled with several fabricated accusations. As a result, my belongings were searched, and some of them confiscated. I was paraded through the campus, subjected to denouncing sessions and confinement, and forced to write endless self-criticisms in order to expose the ideological and class roots of my reactionary thoughts.
Later, I managed to escape from the university confinement. After my trip to the China-Vietnam border in Pingxiang (凭祥), I was additionally charged with "defection and treason." These crimes led to two years in the First Prison of Shaanxi Province. After my release, I spent one year as a reactionary student undergoing labor reform at the "May 7" cadre school in Xi'an Jiaotong University, where I made bricks and constructed air-raid shelters in anticipation of the Third World War.
In 1972, I finally left the absurd Xi'an Jiaotong University and was assigned to a small factory in Xi'an. I endured there until the Great Sage finally passed away in September 1976. By early October of that year, Chen Boda (陈伯达·), Lin Bio (林彪), and Jiang Qing (江青) had successively become labeled as counter-revolutionaries. As a result, my status as an old counter-revolutionary turned into that of a hero against the new "counter-revolutionaries."
In 1978, after a 12-year hiatus, universities resumed the admission of graduate students. On July 11, the Ministry of Education issued a document to increase the number of students sent abroad for study, along with a plan to dispatch 3,000 scholars overseas. On New Year's Day of 1979, China and the United States officially established diplomatic relations, followed by the signing of an agreement to exchange scholars and students. The U.S. agreed to accept 500 to 700 scholars and students from China for the academic year of 1978-1979.
Fortunately, after passing the entrance examinations and becoming a graduate student in the Mathematics Department at Nanjing University, I had obtained an opportunity to participate in the English proficiency examinations for selecting 3000 scholars and students studying abroad on September 15, 1978. It was reported that a total of 14,717 people nationwide took the selection examinations for studying abroad. On November 24, I received the news that I was selected and would be sent overseas for study.
No one knew when or where we would be sent. It was said at one point that even the Ministry of Education didn't know which country or school overseas we would be sent to for study. According to one rumor, the four eligible scholars and students from the Mathematics Department at Nanjing University would all be sent to West Germany. There was also a rumor that whoever could establish contact with a destination would be sent there by the Ministry of Education.
However, by the end of 1978, it was evident that Nanjing University had made contact with the University of Wisconsin in the United States; or, more likely, the University of Wisconsin had made contact with Nanjing University, making the Madison campus of the University of Wisconsin an actual possibility. We filled out the relevant forms for going abroad and provided two-inch photos, high school and university diplomas and transcripts, a resume, and a letter of recommendation. These were clearly specific requirements that had been proposed by the westerners at the University of Wisconsin, totally different from the usual political performances, social connections, leadership evaluations, and revolutionary mass opinions that we were accustomed to in China.
On February 11, 1979, Irving Shain, the Chancellor of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, led a delegation to visit Nanjing University. They interviewed and accepted about ten visiting scholars and four graduate students, including me. From May 20, 1979 on, we started receiving DSP-66 forms, which later called the IAP-66 from 1980 on, for people in exchange programs to apply for visas.
In June, seven of us received a notice issued by the Ministry of Education. We were to go to the Beijing Language Institute for preparations to go abroad. In Beijing, the Overseas Study Administration at the Language Institute helped us fill out passport application forms. We were also taken to an internal shop at the foreign service department of the Wangfujing Department Store, where we had western suits tailored for us and bought other necessary items that were not yet available then in ordinary stores, such as ties and leather shoes. Most importantly, we underwent a series of political trainings involving reports and speeches on regulations for overseas study, as well as rules for international students.
I can't remember the specific details of these political trainings, except for one thing that left a strong impression on me. Those of us who were sent abroad needed to guard against making mistakes, and the most serious mistake was defection and treason.
At that time, China’s enemies were the imperialists, revisionists, and reactionary forces all over the world. It could be said that our enemies were everywhere. Therefore, anyone who went abroad and didn't return to China was considered a “defector.” This was treason in nature.
How were we to avoid committing such treason? There were three ways. Firstly, we were to raise our consciousness and be grateful to the party and the country for giving us the opportunity to study abroad. We needed to know how many workers and peasants had sacrificed their blood and sweat in order to support us.
Secondly, we had to be aware that the consulates of our country abroad had ways to monitor us. We were told a story about a visiting scholar who was sent to West Germany. One night, the consulate called him and found out that he had not returned to his residence overnight. After an investigation, it was discovered that he had spent the night with a Taiwanese woman. He was later recalled by the consulate and sent back to China. Later, we also heard about a diplomatic personnel stationed in Africa who, after showing signs of "defection and treason,” i.e, not returning to China, was given a dose of some kind of drug and then escorted back to China.
Thirdly, we were to take necessary precautions. We were not to carry any money in our pockets during our journey abroad. The logic was that, without money in our pockets, we had no chance of running away, i.e., committing "defection and treason." In fact, we had not heard of any cases indicating that someone with money in their pockets had run away and committed "defection and treason." It only seemed that the country was taking good care of us, fearing that we might make mistakes out of some kind of momentary confusion.
Unfortunately, this third way had previously led to a “loss of national dignity" incident. One person going abroad, when transferring at the Paris airport, had experienced the sudden urge to use the restroom. However, he saw someone sitting at the entrance of the restroom collecting money, and since he didn't have a single penny in his pocket, he didn't dare to enter. Helpless, he had to resort to the traditional rural Chinese method of finding a secluded area where no one else was around. It was regrettable that in the vast, largely carpeted Charles de Gaulle Airport, he couldn't find a suitable place. As a last resort, he committed a “loss of national dignity" mistake by relieving himself in an inappropriate location, where he was apprehended by airport staff.
By the time the first group of 52 visiting scholars left Beijing for the United States on December 26, 1978, a solution to the restroom problem had already been found. Each person was granted one U.S. dollar, which was kept by the team leader. When transferring during the journey, if someone needed to use the restroom, they would ask the responsible person for the restroom fee. According to an article written by Liu Bocheng (柳百成), one of the 52 people in the first group, he was the person responsible for managing the restroom money. However, he mentioned that it was not strictly one dollar per person, but an approximate amount. The total amount given for the 52 people was apparently only 50 dollars.
Back then, we found these ways of preventing defection and treason to be very reasonable and natural. However, looking back now, they do have a somewhat West Korean flavor. Fortunately, at that time, West Korea didn't understand the meaning of contract constraints. Those of us who were sent abroad on government scholarships were not required to sign any contracts or documents stating that we must return to China. It was said that such contractual documents began to gradually emerge several years later.
After our political trainings in Beijing, we went back to Nanjing and awaited our next instructions. For quite some time, the only thing we received were rumors about potential dates when we would go to Beijing again and then leave China for the USA. But the dates of those who were supposed to depart before us were postponed again and again.
We had been mentally prepared for these continuous delays all along. In fact, deep down in our hearts, we were even prepared for the possibility that we would be unable to leave the country in the end. Since I could remember, the gates of West Korea had always been tightly closed, and going abroad was an unimaginable thing. Some people said, "Don't believe that you're going abroad until you're on the plane." Others countered, "Even if you're on the plane, it still doesn't count." It was said that some people boarded the plane, but then new investigation materials arrived, and those who had already boarded were disembarked.
Finally, we received a phone call from the Ministry of Education summoning seven of us to Beijing before July 24. Everyone thought this was our final trip to Beijing, and thus we said goodbye to our teachers, colleagues, friends and relatives. Many people came to the university garage to see us off onto a big van, which took us to the train station.
On the afternoon of July 26, 1979, we went to the U.S. Consulate for an interview to apply for a U.S. visa. The young and handsome American guy who interviewed me appeared about thirty years old — around the same age as me or even younger. At first, I was quite nervous and looked around his office, thinking that there must be a secret recording device in the room. The young man, on the other hand, assumed a very casual attitude and started with some small talk. He spoke fluent Chinese and introduced himself, saying, "My name is Hou Shide (侯士德).” I asked him how he could speak fluent Chinese at such a young age. He said he had studied Chinese in Taiwan for six years. I thought to myself that he had probably married a Taiwanese wife. I asked him about the origin of his Chinese name. He said it was given to him by his Chinese teacher.
After that, he asked some routine questions, and I gave answers one by one according to what we were taught at the Language Institute. I don't remember the specific questions he asked or how I responded. I only remember that he suddenly asked me if I had been a Red Guard, and I smiled bitterly and gave him the simplest answer, "No." At that time, I thought to myself that he was indeed an American, with only a superficial understanding of China. Although I had never been a Red Guard, I knew that during the Cultural Revolution, there had been various types of Red Guards. Moreover, the nature of Red Guards in different periods of the lengthy revolution varied greatly. Therefore, whether a young person had been a Red Guard or not was a meaningless question--it was only Americans who had a fixed, rather oversimplified definition for “Red Guards.” After the interview, I received brochures such as "An Introduction to Tourism in the United States" and "The United States in Pictures."
However, obtaining the visa to go to the United States turned out to be impossible. It was said that the U.S. Consulate had claimed that the person in charge of visa stamps was on vacation. Privately, we discussed this and everyone thought that the excuse was ridiculous. We believed that what they truly needed was time to investigate and determine if any of us were spies or secret agents.
We were truly like Pigsy looking in the mirror—neither side resembling a human! The Chinese government was afraid that we would "betray the country and defect," while the U.S. government was afraid that we were "spies and agents.”
So, we all returned to Nanjing in early August. Unexpectedly, a few days later, we received another notice telling us to go immediately to Beijing and proceed to the U.S. Due to the previous back and forth, we thought it was just another reversal. After discussing among ourselves, we decided that this time we would quietly leave Nanjing without saying goodbye to anyone. On the evening of August 16th, we quietly boarded train No. 14 and left Nanjing. We arrived in Beijing on August 17th at noon and reached the Language Institute around 2 o'clock.
There, we joined the fifth group of more than 40 scholars and students from all over China who were to travel to the U.S. On August 18, we each put on our tailored suits and leather shoes. At 5:30 PM, we departed from the Language Institute in a large van, driving along the tree-lined road that led to the airport. The Beijing airport at that time was small and lacked air conditioning. There was only one China Civil Aviation Boeing 707 plane on the tarmac, which we were to board. It was my first time flying, and when we took off after 8 PM, the airport was dimly lit. It was only after takeoff that I saw the lights of Beijing below.
At that time, there was probably only one route from China to the United States. It involved flying westward in the direction of Xinjiang, then heading south to Karachi, Pakistan, before flying northwest to Paris, France, and finally crossing the Atlantic to reach the United States.
On Sunday, August 19, we arrived at Karachi airport around 4 AM, which was nearly 1 AM local time. There was no air conditioning at the airport, and it remained uncomfortably hot and humid even after midnight. The airport staff greeted us with poorly spoken but understandable Chinese phrases, saying, “Wanjingyou (万精油), wanjingyou!" We had heard about this before leaving China, and most of us had carried several boxes of the herbal ointment specifically for them. The staff were delighted when they received the wanjingyou. This was the first time in my life that I saw the world outside of China, and it filled me with curiosity. Although the airport was smaller and more rudimentary than Beijing's at that time, I had never seen Pakistani cultural goods on display before.
I don't recall encountering any issues with using the restroom at that airport, probably because our layover was very short, around 45 minutes, just for refueling the plane. We took off again around 5 AM, and arrived at Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport to transfer to a Trans World Airlines flight to New York. Due to a delay, we had to wait at the airport for six and a half hours. Such a long layover naturally led to hunger and the need for restroom facilities.
Let's talk about the restroom situation first. We had come prepared, so everyone was confident about it. According to the established policy, each person had been allocated one US dollar for restroom use on the journey. This money was supposed to be kept by a designated person responsible for the entire group of more than 40 individuals. However, neither of the appointed leaders showed any interest in taking on this responsibility. Fortunately, Liu Guangjian (刘广鑑), a teacher from the Chemistry Department at Nanjing University, recommended himself for the honor of this duty. Since our English language studies had begun, I had not been aware of this person's existence until he volunteered for this task. If it weren't for his involvement with the restroom money, I might have never known about him. All in all, the person in charge of managing the restroom money left a deep impression on me. He seemed quite pleased with his assigned task, as it indicated the party and the country's extra trust in him, and provided him with an opportunity to demonstrate loyalty and competence.
However, I was still very curious, because I had never before used foreign restrooms in my entire life. To satisfy my curiosity, I observed the surroundings for a while and casually walked back and forth in front of the restroom entrance. I wanted to thoroughly understand the situation.
In front of the restroom, there was an old lady sitting with a small table in front of her. On the table, there was a box where people threw coins before entering the restroom. Upon careful observation, it became evident that the size and quantity of coins thrown by each person into the box varied greatly. It seemed quite random, and I even saw a young boy enter without giving any money. At that time, for those of us who had lived our entire lives in a superior, privileged socialist society with a planned economy, we had never heard, seen, or understood the concept of "tips." Reflecting on the pioneer who had committed the "loss of national dignity," he had truly misunderstood the situation — using the restroom actually didn't require payment, and if one genuinely had no money, it was acceptable not to give a tip. Of course, since 99% of people did give tips, not giving a tip could be seen as a "loss of national dignity" act as well.
During the six and a half hours of waiting time, everyone used the restroom at least once, with some needing to urinate and others needing to defecate. At such times, we would go to Liu Guangjian to ask for money, receiving coins worth one or two nickels, dimes, or quarters. Based on imagination, those who needed to defecate would give a little more, while those who only needed to urinate would give a little less. Teacher Liu Guangjian diligently handled the matter of managing other people's restroom needs and never caused any difficulties for anyone.
Now let's talk about the issue of hunger. Everyone's stomachs were growling, and we didn't have a single penny in our pockets. Even if we had money, everything at the airport seemed extremely expensive and beyond our reach. The two leaders in charge acted as if nothing was wrong, while Teacher Liu Guangjian only dealt with restroom matters, and his limited funds were of no use. Fortunately, we were all tough guys, and having a hungry stomach wasn't a big deal. We just had to overcome it. Therefore, no one complained or made any demands.
However, to our pleasant surprise, there was a remarkably capable young man among us. We didn't know his name or which institution in China had sent him abroad. He was tall, fair-skinned, obviously without any nutritional deficiencies since childhood, and very young, probably in his early twenties. He was most likely an undergraduate student studying abroad, while the rest of us were in our thirties and forties, postgraduate students or visiting scholars. Not only did he speak fluent English with an impeccable accent, but he also had an air of elegance and clearly had prior experience with international travel. Since our delay at Charles de Gaulle Airport was due to the delayed connecting flight with Trans World Airlines he quietly approached the airline desk to negotiate. Before long, TWA provided each of us with a sandwich and a drink.
Having solved the "in and out" issues, this slightly extended stay at Charles de Gaulle Airport wasn’t a big problem for us. After all, this was the first time in my life that I had seen the decadent world of capitalism with my own eyes. Every item on the shelves of the shops in the airport was something I had never seen before. All the goods were openly displayed, and one could touch and even take them down to examine them closely. In contrast, all the stores I had known in China, including those at Beijing Airport, had displayed goods behind glass counters that separated customers from the salespeople. There were also those stunning saleswomen in the shops, whom I had never seen in person. However, I didn't like the slightly contemptuous look in their eyes, perhaps because we seemed uncultured. Maybe my tailor-made suit didn't really fit well, not to mention my choice of greenish fabric — I had never selected any fabric for myself in my entire life. Of course, it could also be that they could see that we didn't have a single penny in our pockets.
It was quite comedic when two men wearing suits approached me in the airport lounge while I was waiting for my flight. One of them kindly asked me, “Are you…?" Seeing my confusion, he introduced himself. “I am a teacher from the Department of Power Engineering at Xi'an Jiaotong University, and this person here is also a graduate from Xi'an Jiaotong University. We were here for a conference and are now heading back to China. We know you.” They must have seen me when I was a notorious reactionary student at Xi'an Jiaotong University, perhaps during the time when I was paraded through the campus and criticized and denounced by the entire university. And now, unexpectedly, I was meeting them again at Charles de Gaulle Airport. It truly was a surprising turn of events! They said they would definitely tell the teachers from the Radio Engineering Department about this encounter when they returned.
At 12:30 PM local time, we boarded the Trans World Airlines flight 803, a Boeing 747, and left Paris. On Sunday, August 19, around 2 PM Eastern Time we arrived at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York. It was my first time entering a country outside China through customs. I don't remember at all how I went through US customs.
What I do remember vividly is that, as I strolled out of the airport, curious to see what the United States was like, I was greeted by a bustling crowd of people and cars, along with streets that weren't particularly clean. But in that moment, my heart was filled with a sense of coming home. It's strange to describe this feeling. Since I can remember, I have been indoctrinated with the idea that evil American imperialism is the enemy of all the people in the world; that America is where the masses live in the deep waters and fiery heat of capitalism, waiting for us to liberate them. Apart from that, my actual knowledge about the United States was almost nonexistent. Nevertheless, deep down, I knew clearly that this would be my home, a place where I could live safely and happily. Here, I wouldn't be searched, paraded through the campus, criticized, denounced, confined, or forced to write endless self-criticisms to dig into my ideological and class roots. Here, I wouldn't be unjustly imprisoned or sent to labor camps.
Here, there wouldn't be those endless political study sessions and political reports that exhausted me, all for the sake of consolidating the regime. Here would be the place where I could have a meaningful life through diligent studying and hard work.
We took off from New York around 7 PM and arrived at National Airport in Washington, D.C. at 9:30 PM. Embassy staff came to pick us up and arranged for us to stay in the guesthouse at the embassy on Connecticut Avenue. I shared Room 359 with Teacher Shen.
We were informed that the embassy had purchased this building, which was full of listening devices. As a result, experts were sent from China to remove the bugs. However, they discovered listening devices everywhere. They were on the walls, doors, windows — everywhere. It was impossible to completely eliminate them. The final solution was to create a sealed meeting room on the top floor that blocked all signals. In the first few days after our arrival, we convened several meetings there.
Later, I heard that some people had not forgotten that one dollar meant for each person’s restroom use. It's possible that some people only used the restroom once and not twice, or maybe some only needed to urinate once instead of both urination and defecation. In any case, the money had not been used up. Although Teacher Liu Guangjian might have had exceptional administrative abilities, it's unlikely that he meticulously recorded everyone's restroom activities. Even if he had, he wouldn't have had enough change to distribute to everyone. He finally came up with a clever solution to resolve the matter.
One day, Teacher Liu Guangjian gave me a piece of string. He told me that the $40 he had kept for everyone's restroom needs hadn't been used up. So, he had used the remaining money to buy a roll of string, which he cut into pieces of equal length, one for each person. “We're all about to go to our respective schools, and there will be things to tie and bundle!”
When I left Washington to go to the University of Wisconsin, it seemed I didn't have anything to tie or bundle. My piece of string quickly disappeared without a trace. Later, whenever I thought about that piece of string, I deeply regretted not preserving it properly. Otherwise, when someone established a museum dedicated to the reform and opening up of West Korea, I could have donated that string, procured from a journey from “defection and treason” to “restroom money,” for future generations to admire. As it is, I have no other choice but to write this article to commemorate it.
By the way, the two internally secretly designated team leaders were informed that their luggage had been “permanently lost.” The airline compensated them each with $2000, which undoubtedly made some people envious. Of course, what amazed everyone even more was the precision and accuracy of the intelligence work of the United States, right at the beginning of the establishment of diplomatic relations with China.
