每一份情绪，都有它的时光
最美好的事，都是没有原因的
My wife
Writing this section, I toyed with the idea of including – perhaps concluding with – an entry on ‘love’. But then it occurred to me that if I wrote one about my wife, that would amount to the same thing. I sometimes wonder why a preternaturally beautiful, free-thinking Russian, who skipped St Petersburg in her twenties during the chaotic period after the fall of Communism, would want to hang out with someone like me. And sometimes it seems she wonders too. While I tend to tie myself in verbal knots of evasion and euphemism, Anya is often very direct. I remember once asking her, during a conversation about Socrates*, if she could ever love a man who was hideous. ‘I think you are hideous,’ she remarked. She later claimed that she thought the word ‘hideous’ meant ‘eccentric’, although I’ve always subsequently wondered if this was a retrospective improvisation.
Admittedly, there have been other occasional malapropisms that suggest her explanation may have been honest. She once told me that she had no respect for foreigners who came to England and refused to ‘disintegrate’. She refers to hip hop singers as ‘rappists’, and on another occasion endearingly misremembered the title of the romantic comedy in which Bill Murray’s misanthropic weatherman is forced to live the same day over and over again. She called it The Day of the Badger, which you could argue is actually a better title than Groundhog Day, although it might be more suited to a sci-fi horror film in which farmers finally get what’s coming to them.
Many years ago, when I was single, a friend warned me that before he got married he was the most important person in his life. Afterwards, with a wife and child, he found himself demoted to number three. What he didn’t say was that this painful process, which seems to be central to the enterprise of love, might have the desirable side-effect of making you cooler. I’m still resisting the process, but I can recognise the benefits of having one’s self-love chipped away at: a sculptural task at which Anya exhibits the skill of a Rodin. I treasure the memory of the time I asked her what kind of men she goes for. ‘Clowns,’ she replied.
P215 我的妻子
在写这一部分的时候，我曾想过在书中加入一个关于“爱”的条目，也许是作为结尾。但后来我突然想到，如果我写一篇关于我妻子的文章，那也是一样的。我有时会想，为什么一个异常美丽、思想自由的俄罗斯人，20来岁时，在共产主义垮台后的混乱时期逃离了圣彼得堡，会想和我这样的人在一起？有时她似乎也想知道其中原因。当我倾向于用回避和委婉的语言来包装自己，而安雅往往非常直接。我记得有一次在一场关于苏格拉底的谈话中，我问她，她是否会爱上一个丑陋的男人。"我觉得你很丑，"她说。她后来又说，她认为“丑陋”这个词的意思是指“古怪”，尽管我总是怀疑这是她回头临时编凑的。
诚然，也有其他一些偶然出现的误用现象，这表明她的解释可能是诚实的。她曾经告诉我，她不尊重那些来到英国并拒绝“解体”的外国人。她把嘻哈歌手称为“强奸犯”，还有一次还可爱地记错了浪漫喜剧的片名。在这部喜剧中，比尔·默里饰演的厌世的天气预报员被迫过着日复一日的生活。她称其为《獾日》，你可能会认为这实际上是一个比《土拨鼠之日》更好的名称，尽管它可能更适合科幻恐怖电影，农民最终得到了他们的报应。
很多年前，当我还是单身的时候，一个朋友提醒我，在他结婚前，他是他生命中最重要的人。后来，有了妻子和孩子，他发现自己被降到了第三位。他没有说的是，这个痛苦的过程是爱情机构的核心，且会有令人满意的副作用，它让你变得更酷。我仍然在抵制这个过程，但我能意识到一个人的自爱被削弱的好处:安雅在雕塑任务中展示了罗丹的技巧。我珍惜问她喜欢什么样的男人的那一刻。“小丑”, 她回答。
Lao Tzu
Be cool. That, in a nutshell, is the philosophy of the Ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu as summarised in his book the Tao Te Ching, though there’s a bit more to it than that. The Tao or ‘Way’ is a benign force that governs the universe, and the key to happiness is to live in accordance with it. In practice, this involves a combination of quietness, kindness, humility, humanity, not caring what other people think (whether good or ill), and making no distinction between success and failure. All of which prompts the response: nice work if you can get it.
Yet it has to be said that you’re much more likely to get it if you take the trouble to read the book (preferably in the translation by Stephen Mitchell), which is a remarkable blend of poetry and practical advice. Its most intriguing concept is that of wei wu wei, literally ‘doing not doing’. It’s such a vague phrase that it’s open to a wide range of interpretations. At its least controversial, it refers to a method for carrying out a task with such focus you cease to notice the effort involved or the time passing. When you finish, the result seems to have been effortless and immediate. Most of us have had this experience. The goal of the Tao master, however, is to make it his or her default gear, from when they wake up in the morning to when they go to bed at night.
Like Homer*, Lao Tzu may never have existed. His book may be the work of several authors. Yet the stories that have come down to us about his life are instructive. He’s said to have been an archive keeper in one of the petty kingdoms of 6th-century BC China, and to have passed his life quietly.
until, in old age, he decided to set out on a water buffalo (a suitably lowly, slow-moving mode of transport) to cross the vast expanses of the country, before heading west into lands unknown. When he duly reached the border, the customs officer, on learning who he was, asked him first to write down his wisdom so it wouldn’t be lost. This was a bold request. One of Lao Tzu’s best-known maxims was the classic conversation-stopper, ‘Those who know don’t talk. Those who talk don’t know.’ We can only be grateful that he chose to make an exception on this occasion. Having handed over the first-ever copy of the Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu wandered off and spent his remaining years impressing anyone who met him with how incredibly relaxed he was. The Buddha, some say, became his pupil.
P217 老子
酷可酷，非常酷。简而言之，这就是中国古代哲学家老子在他的《道德经》一书中总结的哲学，尽管不止于此。道或“道”是一种良性的力量，统治着宇宙，幸福的关键是按照它生活。在实践中，这包括安静、善良、谦逊、人性，不关心别人的想法(好或坏)，不区分成功和失败。所有这些都会促发回应:如果你能领悟它，那就太好了。但不得不说的是，如果你不辞辛苦地读这本书(最好是斯蒂芬·米切尔的译本)，你更有可能理解它的奥妙，这本书是诗歌和实用建议的绝妙结合。
它最有趣的概念是“无为而治”，字面意思是“不做”。这是一个很模糊的短语，可以有很多种解释。最不容易引起争议的是，它指的是一种专注完成一项任务的方法，让你感觉不到付出的努力或时间的流逝。当你完成时，其结果似乎毫不费力一趋而就，我们大多数人都有过这样的经历。然而，掌握道德人让它成为他或她的从早上起床到晚上睡觉的内在动力。像荷马一样，老子可能从来就不存在。他的书可能是几个作家的作品。然而，流传下来的关于他的生平故事是有启发性的。据说他曾是公元前6世纪中国一个小王国的档案管理员，并平静地度过了自己的一生。
直到年老的时候，他决定骑着牛(一种移动缓慢的交通工具)穿越广袤的国土，然后向西进入未知的土地。当他到达边境时，海关官员得知他是谁，让他先把他的智慧写下来，这样就不会失传了。这是一个大胆的要求。老子最著名的格言之一就是那句经典的“知者不言，言者不知”。我们只能对他这次破例表示感激。在交出了只此一本的《道德经》之后，老子就云游四海度过余生，他悠闲自在样子给所有见过他的人都留下了印象。有人说，佛陀成了他的弟子。
Anti-celebrities
A story is told in Plato’s Republic of how, after his death, the Greek hero Odysseus was asked in the Underworld what kind of person he would like to be in the next life. A great warrior perhaps? Or a powerful king? Neither, replied the man who had been both. He wanted to be a no one: a person of no consequence. (The Greek word is apragmon, meaning ‘free from business’.) Odysseus, then, is perhaps the patron saint of ‘anti-celebrities’: people who possess enormous talents but have little desire for the fuss or hassle of the fame that would ensue if they allowed it to.
A nanny named Vivian Maier was found after her death to have taken thousands of photographs, which in many cases she hadn’t bothered to develop. The images have since earned her acclaim as one of the most gifted photographers of the 20th century. The novels of Elena Ferrante are adored by critics and public alike. Yet no one, apart from her publisher, knows who she is. The American singer-songwriter Sixto Rodriguez became a huge star in South Africa without even realising. On being informed of the fact many years later, his reaction was supremely relaxed.
A low-key contender for the title of the coolest man of all time, the singer-songwriter J.J. Cale merits a paragraph to himself. Never much of a megastar, in his day he was revered by the likes of Johnny Cash and Eric Clapton. (The latter called him his ‘all-time favourite person’.) Cale’s ‘anti-Rubicon moment’ – the point at which he might have become massive, but decided to step back – came in the 1970s when he was invited to perform his drowsy, bluesy single ‘Crazy Mama’ on a TV show watched by millions. He declined on hearing he would be expected to lip-sync, and the song reached only No. 22 in the charts, his biggest hit. Glance at the artwork of his albums and you notice something strange: he’s not there. “ I always wanted to be a part of the show,’ Cale once confessed. ‘I never wanted to be the show.’ As a motto, it sums up the anti-celebrity creed
P218 拒绝名望
柏拉图的《理想国》中有这样一个故事: 希腊英雄奥德修斯(Odysseus)死后，在阴间有人问他下辈子想做什么样的人。是个伟大的战士? 还是一个强大的国王?“都不是，”两者皆是的奥德修斯回答，他想当一个无名小卒，一个无足轻重的人。(希腊语单词是apragmon，意思是“从庶务中解放出来”。) 因此，奥德修斯可能是“拒绝名望”(anti-celebrities)的守护神。“拒绝名望”指的是那些拥有极高的天赋，但不愿因名望而介入争执或麻烦的人。
一位名叫维维安·迈尔的保姆在她死后被发现拍摄了数千张照片，在很多情况下，她都懒得冲洗。但这些照片为她赢得了20世纪最有天赋的摄影师之一的赞誉。埃琳娜·费兰特的小说深受评论家和公众的喜爱。然而，除了她的出版商，没有人知道她是谁。美国创作型歌手西斯托·罗德里格斯在并不知情的情况下成为了南非巨星。多年以后，当他得知此事，他的反应异常轻松。
作为有史以来最酷男人头衔的低调竞争者，创作型歌手约翰·韦尔登·凯尔(J.J. Cale)说：（我）从不是超级巨星。在他的时代，他受到像约翰尼·卡什和埃里克·克莱普顿这样的知名大家的尊敬。(后者称他为自己“任何时候都最喜欢的人”。)凯尔的“拒渡卢比孔河时刻”——在这个时刻他可能已经成名，但却决定退出——1970年，他被邀请在一个有数百万观众观看的电视节目上表演他的蓝调单曲《疯狂妈妈》。当他得知需要自己假唱时，他拒绝了，这首歌在排行榜上只排到了第22位，这是他最热门的单曲。瞥一眼他的专辑照片，你会发现有些不对劲儿: 他不在那里。“我一直很愿意成为表演的一部分，”凯尔曾经坦白道，“但我不想成为表演出本身。” 这句座右铭成为了“拒绝名望”人士的信条。
Tycho Brahe
If you were to invent a historical figure as an embodiment of cool, you might come up with someone a bit like the 16th-century scientist Tycho Brahe. Born into one of the richest families in Denmark, he was kidnapped by his uncle at the age of two, who brought him up as his own. At twenty, he lost part of his nose in a duel with his third cousin Manderup Parsberg, after they had argued about the validity of a mathematical formula. Brahe replaced the missing cartilage with a piece of brass, which he kept attached with a tube of glue that he carried with him everywhere. Some say he also had gold and silver nose-pieces to wear on more formal occasions.
His uncle died of pneumonia after saving the Danish king, Frederick II, from drowning. The inheritance made Tycho fabulously wealthy. To add to his fortunes, Frederick gifted him the island of Hven, where he built an observatory in which to pursue his lifelong passion for star-gazing. The scientist went on to build up the largest-ever collection of astronomical data, which he used to disprove Aristotle’s assumption about the immutability of the heavens. In 1573 he published De Nova Stella, showing that, contrary to Aristotle’s teaching, new stars are born. He went on to work on his magnum opus, the Astronomiae Instauratae Progymnasmata (Prelude to a New Astronomy). His obsessive records have led some to see him as a pioneer of the scientific revolution and a forerunner of the empiricists, although in truth Brahe was enough of a man of his time to be susceptible to the lure of less purely rational pursuits such as alchemy and astrology.
After Frederick died, he was succeeded by his son Christian, who was less of a Brahe fan. The latter was ousted from Hven and instead took up a post in Prague as astronomer to the Bohemian king and Holy Roman Emperor Rudolph II. In his downtime he enjoyed hanging out with a dwarf named Jepp, who used to sit under his table at mealtimes. He also had a pet elk with whom it’s said he liked to engage in drinking contests. The unfortunate beast eventually died after drinking too much beer and falling down a flight of stairs. Brahe himself also seems to have perished in a drinking-related incident. During a banquet in Prague, he refused to go to the loo because he thought it was bad form and later perished of a ruptured bladder. Some, though, don’t buy this story. They say he was poisoned, either by his pupil Johannes Kepler who wanted to get his hands on Brahe’s data, or else at the behest of King Christian who believed Brahe had had an affair with his mother. This rumour of royal Danish adultery may conceivably have inspired Shakespeare when he came to write Hamlet*
P219 第谷·布拉赫
如果你想创造一个历史人物作为酷的化身，你可能会想到一个有点像16世纪科学家第谷·布拉赫(Tycho Brahe)的人。他出生在丹麦最富有的家庭之一，两岁时被叔父绑架，并被当作亲生孩子抚养成人。20岁的时候，他和他的三表哥曼德尔鲁普·帕斯堡为了一个数学公式的正确与否发生争执，在决斗中失去了部分鼻子。布拉赫用一块黄铜代替了缺失的软骨，并用胶水粘在上面，随身携带。有人说，他还会在更正式的场合佩戴金的或是银的鼻罩。
他的叔叔为了救落水的丹麦国王弗雷德里克二世死于肺炎，遗产让第谷变得极其富有。弗雷德里克更赠予他汶岛也增加了他的财富，在那里他建立了一个天文台，追求他毕生对星空的热爱。这位科学家继而建立起有史以来最大的天文数据收集，并用这些数据来反驳亚里士多德关于天空不变性的假设。1573年，他出版了《新星》，表明与亚里士多德的学说相反，新恒星是孕育出来的。他继续致力于他的巨著《新天文学的序曲》。他的执着记录让一些人认为他是科学革命和经验主义者的先驱者，哪怕事实上，布拉赫在他的时代依旧容易受到炼金术和占星术等不那么纯粹理性的追求的诱惑。
弗雷德里克去世后，他的儿子克里斯蒂安继承了王位，他不太喜欢布拉赫。后者被驱逐出了汶岛，转而在布拉格担任天文学家，为波西米亚国王和神圣罗马帝国皇帝鲁道夫二世服务。在他的闲暇时间，他喜欢和一个叫杰普的小矮人呆在一起，而杰普在吃饭的时候就坐在他的桌子底下。他还有一只宠物麋鹿，据说他喜欢和这只麋鹿一起参加喝酒比赛。这只不幸的野兽最终在喝了太多啤酒后从楼梯上摔了下来死了。他本人似乎也死于与饮酒有关的事件。在布拉格的一次宴会上，他拒绝上厕所，因为他认为那样做很不礼貌，结果因为膀胱破裂而死。不过，有些人并不相信这种说法。他们说，他是被毒死的，要么是他的学生约翰内斯·开普勒想要得到布拉赫的数据，要么是克里斯蒂安国王的命令，因为他认为布拉赫与他的母亲有染。这个关于丹麦王室通奸的谣言可能是莎士比亚创作《哈姆雷特》时的灵感来源。
