天凉好秋
留不住岁月，就记录下岁月里的日子给自己，也给愿与我分享的人
（欢迎来访，转载请告知）
丽达走了。大家互相转发着这个悲哀的消息，有几个外部门的同事还跟我联系，询问她具体的死因，可惜我也不知道。从网上搜索不到任何关于她葬礼的线索，唯一知道的就是她姐姐的男友打电话通知了办公室，但是没有透漏任何具体细节。
一星期过去了，我还是不能接受这个事实，脑子里总是出现丽达灿烂的笑脸。
我和丽达一起工作了15个年头，她比我晚大半年到的办公室，爱聊天，很快就跟我分享了她的很多故事。
她30多年前从爱尔兰的一个小农场来到加拿大，两个哥哥前些年相继英年早逝，只留下一个姐姐，也在多伦多。姐妹俩都没有结婚，姐姐开着一个烘焙店，有个长期的男友，她一直单着，跟我说年轻的时候曾经有过一位相处9年的男友，后来分了手。照她自己的话说是找不到有担当，有责任的男人，所以宁愿享受自由。
她在市中心地段有一个小小的房子，没有车库，据她说买下来的时候刚几万加元，比租房子要划算。我有机会去过一次，还是第一次见到那么小的独立房，象是专门给单身设计的。房子五脏俱全，她收拾得也很干净。后院一片野生的小树林，一点都没有修剪，不知她是顾不上，还是故意想保持那种风格，没有问。地下室也非常小，不过那么小的面积她竟然加了卫生间，租给在附近做工程的工人挣些房租。
她和唯一的姐姐时常会闹些口角，有一个圣诞节两个人谁都不理谁，僵持了很长时间。她讲给我听，我劝她有个姐妹在身边非常难能可贵，我羡慕都来不及，一定要珍惜这种亲情。她们后来当然是和解了，如很多吵吵闹闹的姐妹一样。
何止与她姐姐吵架，丽达跟办公室几个girls都发生过不愉快，她是个性情中人，喜怒哀乐完全写在脸上，高兴的时候手舞足蹈，激动起来马上翻脸，还会流眼泪。
她喜欢闲聊，总有说不完的话题，路过她桌子的每个人都会被她拉住聊个没完没了。不过一碰到稍有挑战的工作任务，她就犯怵，不愿意去花时间学习，对别人的反应还特别敏感。
有一次我跟她要一个特别简单的统计表，她拖来拖去，就是提交不上来。我实在等不及了，就去直接跟她谈，问她需不需要帮助。她说她看不懂这张表是什么意思，我那天也是没有耐心，脱口而出，这么简单的数学公式都不知道！她就一下失去了控制，大声喊，你多聪明，我从小就数学不好！搞得周围的几个同事都探头朝这边看。
还有一次她请了天病假，第二天来上班，我本来是好意，问她怎么了，结果她莫名其妙就发火了，认为我是怀疑她装病，故意来打探。
这个人就是这样，我知道她情绪化，从来没有跟她计较过。过了那股劲，她又会回来有话没话地跟我聊这聊那，间接表示她的歉疚。
丽达到办公室很多年，经过几次正式面试都没有通过，到后来终于转正，听说是有两位老同志到领导那里替她求情，说她干了那么多年了，没有功劳也有苦劳，领导才送了个人情。
丽达不修边幅，长了一头典型的爱尔兰红发，过一段时间不修剪，就会蓬松得象个大蘑菇。她有着好奇的性格，与路边的流浪汉和街头艺人都能聊起来，从她那总能听到一些有趣的故事。连她的猫咪都是她有一次走路看到一个陌生女孩抱着猫正要扔掉，便领养了回家。后来她发现那只猫身上伤病很多，花费了她不少钱，这对单身的她来说有些心疼，有时会跟我抱怨，羡慕我有个老公可以分担日常花销。不过她还是很爱那只猫，常常跟我描述猫咪的可爱。
她喜欢喝两杯。每年的办公室圣诞派对，每人发两张酒票，我顶多用一张，就会把剩下的一张顺手给她，别的几个女同事应该也是这样做了，她手里攥着酒票，总是很兴奋。女同事们多是早早收场回家，她却会留下来和几个男同事畅饮到半夜，第二天还会跟我描述，非常开心。她认识一对有钱的朋友，每次人家去度假便请她过去帮着看房子，给她留几瓶酒晚上喝，那也是她很快乐的时光。
丽达另外一件喜欢做的事就是一个人驾车神游。很多年前有一次她开到北边很远的一片森林，看到人家正在挂牌卖一小片宿营地，还包括一辆Trailer，心头一动，就买了下来。那片地就从此成了她夏季的固定度假地。每年从五月底到十月初，就会听她讲述周末开车几个小时到她北边的Trailer去宿营的经历。Trailer里不能洗澡，她会在旁边的小河里解决；她有一个喂鸟的笼子；晚上她的驻地还进来过一只黑熊… …讲不完的故事。
除了那片宿营地，她后来又在附近买了一块地。
去年的时候她告诉我说每年总去一个地方有点烦了，想把那两片地卖了，还给我看了她的代理帮她打的广告。
疫情开始后我们都在家工作，就没有机会再聊天。我又调去了其它部门，就更没有机会联系了。
八月份的时候突然收到了一封她发到我私人邮箱的邮件，很长，如她说话的风格。我当时工作很忙，嫌她太啰嗦，草草读了一遍，但还是给她回了信。现在想想，有些后悔没有认真地多花时间跟她聊聊。
我花了一个晚上的时间从邮箱里把她那封邮件又找出来，一句一句地细读，还在地图上研究了她提到的每一个地名。
她说她这次终于卖了北边的那两片地，13年来第一次自由驾车到另外的地方旅游，一口气开了13个小时跨越魁北克，到了一个叫Tasoussac的小镇去观鲸鱼。一路的风景美如梦境，回来的路上她乐不思蜀，又转头坐上劳伦斯河上的游船去了更远处的Gaspe 国家公园。公园很大，中间3个多小时没有加油站，她只有半箱油，吓坏了，好在油箱没有耗空。她在一家小餐馆吃到了非常新鲜的鱼，还和森林中的工作人员聊了1个多小时。
回来的路上她除了加油，没有做任何停留，清晨5：30出发，一口气开了17个小时晚上10点多才到家，第二天早晨就兴奋地给我发了这封长信，兴奋之情溢于言表。她说现在好想退休，等这辆车租期一到，就去退了，然后买一辆小宿营车，开始海阔天空的旅行… …
OMG, 亲爱的丽达，我不能一遍一遍再这样读下去了，我的心跟着你一会儿澎湃，一会儿又沉入海底。
我把丽达的邮件完整地贴在下面，一个字都没有改。那就是她，一个真实的她。
想为丽达写篇文章，还想为她找首歌听。在YouTube上看到这首由几个西方人无乐器伴奏翻唱的Beyond的《海阔天空》，觉得如果丽达还在，推荐给她听，她一定会露出孩子般的好奇和欣喜。
丽达，你终于完全自由了，不用再为工作和生活的柴米油盐而烦忧，就让我用这首歌送你一程吧，听好了， 海阔天空：
未作任何修改的丽达的邮件原文：
Hi, how are you doing?? I have been meaning to email you FOREVER but then remembered i had your personal email.
How is the job going??? I hope you are coming back to us !!!!!! I am assuming you are working from home!!
Have you taken any vacation or interesting trips???
I sold my two pieces of land up north, just felt it was time to MOVE ON!!! glad I did ....!!!
Last week is the first time I have taken a trip apart from land in 13 years ....went to Tasoussac, Quebec, whale watching, what a trip !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT LONG ENOUGH .....as I hadnt planned Gaspe!!!!
Left for Tadussac last Sunday week …made it in one day, I wanted to get drive over me 13 hours…after Quebec City, the scenery UNREAL, mountains forests, lakes, BREATHTAKING, gorgeous wee village, Tadoussac ferry is 24/7, I didn’t realize this and was panicking as I got there at 8pm…Quebec, construction, you have to detour on highway, I didn’t see that and took me an hour to get back on track.
I stayed 2 days and sunday night, luckily I booked ahead with backpackers, (really old beautiful building right in village, village is small) 80.00 a night (had my own room), tons of accomodation but more expensive, also for really rich people HOTEL TADOUSSAC, right on coast, looks old and magnificient... after I arrived on Sunday, tired Monday so toured around village and area, Tuesday took the large boat, you can go on small ones, but you can have drinks (expensive, i took my own) on large cruise ship, saw three whales, 6 belugas, one sea lion, whales were magnificent, I had my binoculars, they are good ones, bushnell, so saw very close, never saw anything like the size of their tails, and they were breaching, you cant get too close, because of environment reasons, but MAGNIFICIENT, MAGNIFICIENT.!!!!!!!!!!!! what an experience.
Wednesday took ferry back, so in the back of my mind I thought I still have 5 days and I sort of don’t feel like going to a city or going back the same way, (thought I would go to Ottawa, as I have never been) so stopped in St. Simeon, and got a coffee and saw a sign for a ferry boat, asked the lady where it went, she said its an hour and a half across St. Lawrence and you get to Riviere du Loop, you can take 132 (small highway) or 20 (large) either back to Toronto or turn left and go to Gaspe….so hopped the Ferry, and turned left and went to Gaspe, had NO plan to go, but my god IT WAS SO WORTH IT, ….132 takes you RIGHT along the coast, stopped half way stayed over Mount St. Anne, went to tourist office, she suggested doing half of gaspe, if i did the whole loop, she said i would be on the road constantly, not enough time....... had fish dinner in a restaurant on the beach, (unreal how fresh) next day through Gaspe National Park, which is the half way mark...had a bit of a fright, as I was so diligent about filling up car all the time, didnt do it this time, but had over a half tank not ONE gas station for 3 hours or a shop, but it lasted, car is great on gas, but i was nervous….MAGNIFICIENT, talked to a park ranger, for an hour, he was gorgeous, my age, lots of fly fishing, beautiful rivers and lakes, mountains SO HIGH.... he said it borders Appalachians….got to other side stayed for two nights on the ocean, small chalets, tons of accommodation, but you have to be careful as it books up fast, I wanted to stay in Carleton on Sur, it had gorgeous fish restaurant and pub, but no accommodation, so I stayed 20 minutes this side of it in New Richmond, everyone speak English there, wee chalets on ocean, but nothing in the town, which was fine, glad to get a bed for the night …then Saturday …took 132 south as far as I could, along the coast, beautiful small picturesque towns, and finally torrential rain, so took 20 (way faster) …so I never stopped 17 hours, just wanted to get back, LONG DAY but worth it, left Gaspe at 5:30 ...got in here last night at 10pm....and i only stopped for gas.
WHAT A TRIP ...i could have gone on and on and on ...OH GOD I WANT TO RETIRE SOOO BADLY, give my car back at the end of a lease and buy a NEW SMALL CAMPER VAN.....so many parked at the ocean ....cos you couldnt find accomodation on the ocean ALL BOOKED UP but next time if i wanted to see rest of Gaspe, then head to Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick (when we are allowed) i would know now to booked ahead and WHERE .
Back to the computer today BUT GOD ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO NICE not having to go to the office....SO THATS MY STORY..I LOVED IT !
Cheers (keep in touch)
