陪你走完这一程

中午刚刚坐下来吃午饭，ICU就page 我，而且是stat,这种情况往往是有病人突然恶化，我赶紧回到ICU。

没想到出状况的竟然是Ms. W，她是80多岁的老太太，严重的心衰，在急诊code了两次，奇迹般地活了下来，而且不断好转，是我们的magic 老太太。她瘦瘦小小的，很安静，说话也很礼貌。

我走进房间，老太太完全紫绀了，呼吸也很费力，两个肺全是啰音，提示着她的心力衰竭又一次加重了。这种情况下，是应该重新气管插管的，但她是no code，就是不抢救的。我把现在的情况解释给老太太听，她奋力地摇头，虽然带着氧气面罩，但是我能依稀听出来她说，let me die with peace。我用力握了握她的手，把氧气调到了最大流量，然后，她就在上帝的手里了。老太太的先生已经去世了，儿子早已失去了联系。房间里只有我和她，还有她沉重凝滞的呼吸声。

这时候另外一个病人也突然恶化了，家人要求全力抢救，房间里熙熙攘攘的医生护士，呼吸技师，病人家属，我们一边交待病情，家属一边大声哭泣。

等到病人稳定下来，我又回到 Ms. W的房间，她已经丧失了意识，只有间歇的挣扎呼吸，和监护仪上的心电图，还在记录着她微弱的生命痕迹。

隔壁房间是繁忙的家属来回走动，打电话联系更多的家属，哭泣声此起彼伏，而这个房间，只有她一个人孤零零地走向死亡。我握起她的手，至少让我，陪她走完人生的最后一程。

最后心跳和呼吸停止了，我关掉了监护仪。她的脸很安详，我没有办法挽回她的生命，但是至少她最后的愿望，die with peace，得到了尊重。至少她最后的一程，有人握着她的手，说再见。

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

[流浪的人群]

落花飘零,
死别的痛苦，就像断了线的风筝，绝望地越来越远。。。没经历过，很难体会那种彻骨的痛。很感动你的温柔和善良，握着她的手。God bless you!
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

[落花飘零]

谢谢forever young，有空常来。

[Forever_Young/]

落花妹妹，我是偶然的机会才幸运的看到你的博克的。
很真实，有你的欢乐和悲哀，谢谢分享，愿你的博克越来越精彩！

[落花飘零]

幸运的番茄头，谢谢你的留言，面对生死挣扎，我总有种说不出的忧伤，随着工作时间越来越长，我也变得越来越能够内敛自己的感情，这对我，对病人和家属，都是有好处的。你说的书，我有机会找来看看，谢谢。
heyheyhey,山水清音，谢谢你们的留言，和高兴认识你们，有空常来。

[heyheyhey]

found your blog by an accident. fell in love with your stories. not only this one, they are all pretty good. You should be an author insead of a doctor. You will do a much better job in writing though you've been doing well as a doctor....just kidding

[山水清音]

又是一个如此善良心细的好女孩！祝福你！

[lucky_tomatohead]

落花,一直关注你的博客.心情也会一直随着你、你的病人而起伏。不忍看你每次心痛。

我知道你有可能不信佛。但是我诚恳的推荐你一本书，Brian Weiss 写的Messages From The Masters.我希望这本书能够改变一些你的世界观，人生观。请你有时间一定要去读一读。

希望你每天快乐。

[AppleFlower]

Luo Hua,

Ms. W is very fortunate to have you as her doctor.

[落花飘零]

xux, you are right, it is very hard to make the final decision at that moment, but once made, we should all respect, every one deserves a fairwell with dignity. living in this modern society, even with kids, no one knows what will happen when that final moment comes...

punny，这个月在ICU，经常要面对这些，虽然外面阳光灿烂，但是心情总是沉甸甸的。

[punny]

虽然她走的很平静，但是看了心里还是很难过

[xux]

This one is very touching. It makes me cry. My husband and I chose not to have kids. One thing we talk about sometimes is, when we die, who will be there, especially for the last one of us to die. People can choose no code, but no one wants to die alone. It is very nice of you to do what you have done.