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《优雅的离婚》(Elegant Divorce)

(2023-11-22 16:20:25) 下一个

优雅的离婚 (Elegant Divorce)

章子怡与汪峰离婚了,对此我稍有意外和遗憾。本来我对娱乐圈子里的事情不关心,但章子怡的演技我比较欣赏,所以比起对其他艺人,我对她的关注稍多一点。

Zhang Ziyi and Wang Feng have divorced, and I must admit I'm somewhat surprised and disappointed by this. Normally, I don't pay much attention to things in the entertainment world, but I do appreciate Zhang Ziyi's acting, so I've been somewhat more interested in her compared to other celebrities.

他们结婚的时候,有些人的评论很损,说她不得已勉强找个n婚的名人,年龄渐大,只好退而求其次。有人断言3年内必然离婚,因为老汪是离婚专业户(有可能哈)。还有人把狗仔队拍的她在美国跟前男友海滩上的照片贴上,这就比较恶毒了。年轻的章子怡有到好莱坞发展、有嫁入豪门的梦想,有多大罪过呢?靠脸吃饭、吃软饭的男人如今也大有人在。比如那位“唐僧”与女富豪结合,自言任何场所都是以“董事长”敬称。

When they got married, some people made unkind comments, suggesting that she reluctantly married a famous person for her nth marriage because she was getting older and had to settle. Some even predicted their divorce within three years because Wang Feng had a history of repeated divorces (which might be true). Others went so far as to post paparazzi photos of her on the beach in the United States with her ex-boyfriend, which was quite malicious. What's wrong with a young Zhang Ziyi having dreams of making it in Hollywood and marrying into wealth? After all, there are plenty of men making a living off their looks and other people's fortunes these days. For instance, that "Tang Seng" guy married a wealthy old lady, always calling her "President" everywhere they are together.

八年中,两人抚育了一双儿女,加上汪峰原先的一个女儿,是个五口之家。从一些照片和体态语上看,其乐融融。我相信夫妻两人曾经是有感情的。至于秀恩爱、撒狗粮这种事情,我感觉还算是表现得比较自然。人家是演艺界的,不能按照码农的标准。

Over the course of eight years, Zhang and Wang raised two children together, in addition to Wang Feng's existing daughter, making it a family of five. From some photos and body language, it seemed like they were a happy family. I believe there was once love between the two. As for showing affection and being lovey-dovey in public, I think they did so largely naturally. They are from the entertainment industry after all and can't be held to the same standards as software engineers.

前两年王宝强、王力宏等人婚变后的一地鸡毛,令我几分感叹。我曾跟朋友说,要做到像盖茨、贝佐斯那样,不论底下怎么暗流涌动,面上都保持优雅的那种火候,中国的公众人物还要多努力。现在想来,也不那么难。只要将离婚从“一个人的事”变成“两个人的事”,就知道“优雅的离婚”比撒泼斗狠要好得太多。它是婚姻已经无法维持的情况下的“双赢”。

In the past couple of years, the chaos that ensued after the divorces of Wang Baoqiang, Wang Leehom, and others left me somewhat dismayed. I told my friends that to reach the level of composure displayed by people like Gates and Bezos, despite the turmoil beneath the surface, public figures in China should strive to do better. Thinking again, it doesn't seem that difficult. As long as divorce can shift from being "an individual's matter" to "a mutual matter," one can see how "elegant divorce" is far better than public squabbles. It's a "win-win" when the marriage can no longer be sustained.

其实,跟普通老百姓相比,富人离婚的优雅与结婚的优雅一样,都要容易许多。老百姓因为房子、票子、面子、孩子等原因,有时不得不斤斤计较。富人“不得不”的情况较少。优雅的协议离婚对他们的名声、事业和生意都好。那种鸡飞狗跳的情况,反映的是某些人的人格和眼界的问题。这个世界上也确有一些自己过不好,也不让别人过好的双输人士。

In reality, compared to ordinary people, the elegance of divorce for the wealthy is as easy as their elegant weddings. Common people sometimes have to be meticulous about assets, status, children, and other factors, but the wealthy face fewer "must-dos." An elegant, mutually agreed-upon divorce is better for their reputation, careers, and businesses. The chaos and messiness that sometimes occur reflect issues with certain individuals' character and vision. There are indeed some people who can't be happy themselves and won't let others be happy either.

从汪、章二人的声明上看,语言80%都是相同的,表明经过了充分的协调。至少目前来看,这算是一种“优雅的离婚”。现在,有关两人离异的种种花边文章开始大量出现在网上,我对这些都不关注,只是希望这种“优雅”能够保持下去。也祝两人以及他们的孩子们未来好运。

Looking at the statements from both Wang and Zhang, about 80% of their language is the same, indicating thorough coordination. At least for now, this could be seen as a form of "elegant divorce." Now, numerous gossip articles about their divorce are flooding the internet, but I'm not paying attention to any of them. I just hope that this "elegance" can be maintained and wish both of them, as well as their children, the best in the future.

稍微说开一点儿 —— 我始终认为,在尴尬或不顺的情况下(未必是离婚),一个人表现出“优雅”,未必是虚伪的掩饰。这也use lemons to make lemonade的素质。人生短暂,长时间在灰暗和挫败下生活首先对自己的残酷。张爱玲说“生命是一袭华美的袍,爬满了蚤子。” 这个说法太过分了。大部分人的人生并非如此不堪。在袍子的下面,更有可能的是破旧的内衣,或是不靓丽的肌肤。So what?  要我看,穿着“一袭华美的袍”,不装什么凡尔赛,带着笑容、好意和坦诚,度过不完美的人生的几十年,也是个不错的选项。

To digress a bit – I've always believed that displaying "elegance" in awkward or challenging situations (not necessarily divorce) isn't necessarily a facade. It also demonstrates the quality of making lemonade when life hands you lemons. Life is short, and living in gloom and defeat for extended periods is first and foremost cruel to oneself.  Zhang Ailing once said, "Life is a splendid robe crawling with fleas." I think that description is too extreme. Most people's lives aren't that unbearable. Underneath the robe, there's more likely to be old underwear or not-so-perfect skin. So what? In my view, wearing that "splendid robe" without putting on airs, but with a smile, good intentions, and honesty, and spending several decades in an imperfect life, is a fine option.

【Edited from ChapGPT translation.】

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唐宋韵 回复 悄悄话 回复 '梧桐之丘' 的评论 :
谢谢梧桐兄。也祝您和家人节日愉快!
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