《优雅的离婚》(Elegant Divorce)

(2023-11-22 16:20:25) 下一个

优雅的离婚 (Elegant Divorce)


Zhang Ziyi and Wang Feng have divorced, and I must admit I'm somewhat surprised and disappointed by this. Normally, I don't pay much attention to things in the entertainment world, but I do appreciate Zhang Ziyi's acting, so I've been somewhat more interested in her compared to other celebrities.


When they got married, some people made unkind comments, suggesting that she reluctantly married a famous person for her nth marriage because she was getting older and had to settle. Some even predicted their divorce within three years because Wang Feng had a history of repeated divorces (which might be true). Others went so far as to post paparazzi photos of her on the beach in the United States with her ex-boyfriend, which was quite malicious. What's wrong with a young Zhang Ziyi having dreams of making it in Hollywood and marrying into wealth? After all, there are plenty of men making a living off their looks and other people's fortunes these days. For instance, that "Tang Seng" guy married a wealthy old lady, always calling her "President" everywhere they are together.


Over the course of eight years, Zhang and Wang raised two children together, in addition to Wang Feng's existing daughter, making it a family of five. From some photos and body language, it seemed like they were a happy family. I believe there was once love between the two. As for showing affection and being lovey-dovey in public, I think they did so largely naturally. They are from the entertainment industry after all and can't be held to the same standards as software engineers.


In the past couple of years, the chaos that ensued after the divorces of Wang Baoqiang, Wang Leehom, and others left me somewhat dismayed. I told my friends that to reach the level of composure displayed by people like Gates and Bezos, despite the turmoil beneath the surface, public figures in China should strive to do better. Thinking again, it doesn't seem that difficult. As long as divorce can shift from being "an individual's matter" to "a mutual matter," one can see how "elegant divorce" is far better than public squabbles. It's a "win-win" when the marriage can no longer be sustained.


In reality, compared to ordinary people, the elegance of divorce for the wealthy is as easy as their elegant weddings. Common people sometimes have to be meticulous about assets, status, children, and other factors, but the wealthy face fewer "must-dos." An elegant, mutually agreed-upon divorce is better for their reputation, careers, and businesses. The chaos and messiness that sometimes occur reflect issues with certain individuals' character and vision. There are indeed some people who can't be happy themselves and won't let others be happy either.


Looking at the statements from both Wang and Zhang, about 80% of their language is the same, indicating thorough coordination. At least for now, this could be seen as a form of "elegant divorce." Now, numerous gossip articles about their divorce are flooding the internet, but I'm not paying attention to any of them. I just hope that this "elegance" can be maintained and wish both of them, as well as their children, the best in the future.

稍微说开一点儿 —— 我始终认为,在尴尬或不顺的情况下(未必是离婚),一个人表现出“优雅”,未必是虚伪的掩饰。这也use lemons to make lemonade的素质。人生短暂,长时间在灰暗和挫败下生活首先对自己的残酷。张爱玲说“生命是一袭华美的袍,爬满了蚤子。” 这个说法太过分了。大部分人的人生并非如此不堪。在袍子的下面,更有可能的是破旧的内衣,或是不靓丽的肌肤。So what?  要我看,穿着“一袭华美的袍”,不装什么凡尔赛,带着笑容、好意和坦诚,度过不完美的人生的几十年,也是个不错的选项。

To digress a bit – I've always believed that displaying "elegance" in awkward or challenging situations (not necessarily divorce) isn't necessarily a facade. It also demonstrates the quality of making lemonade when life hands you lemons. Life is short, and living in gloom and defeat for extended periods is first and foremost cruel to oneself.  Zhang Ailing once said, "Life is a splendid robe crawling with fleas." I think that description is too extreme. Most people's lives aren't that unbearable. Underneath the robe, there's more likely to be old underwear or not-so-perfect skin. So what? In my view, wearing that "splendid robe" without putting on airs, but with a smile, good intentions, and honesty, and spending several decades in an imperfect life, is a fine option.

【Edited from ChapGPT translation.】

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