《百万富翁的免费食物》

 

12月份回国的时候，我找朋友艳推荐一本书路上读。艳推荐了美籍韩裔作家Li Min-jin的《Pachinko》。这本书讲述的是20世纪30年代到80年代末漂落到日本的一群朝鲜人几代人的故事。正巧我的第一站是首尔，而且YY的房间里有这本书，于是我带它上了路。一开读，便是欲罢不能。同行的小K已经读过这本书，说我忘记了这本书是我曾经送给她的生日礼物，我是忘记了，但我的确喜欢选《纽约时报》的畅销书当作礼物送人。小K说，YY也读过这本书，但是YY更喜欢这个作家另外一本《Free Food for Millionaires》（“百万富翁”）。我很喜欢Pachinko,所以非常好奇YY更中意的“百万富翁”。于是从中国返程的路上，我开始阅读“百万富翁”。

读完掩卷，我发现自己也跟YY一样，更喜欢这一本。YY短信我，你为什么喜欢？YY不太喜欢人写很长的东西发给她，但我觉得只总结一段话未免对这部好作品不够尊重，于是我决定写一页纸，告诉跟书中女主角一样毕业于藤校并曾经在华尔街投行拼打过、年龄相仿的YY，我的读后感。没有读过这本书，会对我的浓缩版读后感完全无感。我觉得很多年轻人，无论名校与否，出了校园，都经历过迷茫。曾经的我也是如此。从我们记事起，一条路已经被父母规划好，我们懵懂地走在路上一直到大学。然后出了大学，父母的翻云覆雨手失去了控制力，自由的我们却在自由的面前迷茫了。路，该怎么走？

YY的中文水平有限，所以我用英文写了读后感，回复了她的问题。

I enjoyed Free Food for Millionaires because the author portrays a deeply authentic character in a truthful way.

Unlike the sweeping, multi-generational scope of Pachinko, this novel zooms in on its characters, offering an intimate perspective. Casey, an elite graduate, wrestles with two diverging paths: one that society expects of someone with her credentials and another that speaks to her true desires but is constrained by her limited financial means and the biases of the elite world. She struggles between following the conventional route and defining a life on her own terms.

Casey is a gifted yet complex individual. She has an uncanny ability to visualize her future, and those mental images reflect her hidden fears, desires, doubts, frustrations, and defiance. Her decisions—deferring law school at Columbia, clashing with her father, breaking up with Jay, rejecting Sabine’s financial support, and seeking comfort in Hugh—are all unconventional choices, but they serve as outlets when her emotions spiral beyond her control.

The novel’s final scene is my favorite: Casey and Unu in Ella’s garden. Their brief dialogue, his gesture of framing the flower she chalked, and the way he gently lifts her by the wrists—it all conveys the author's deep sympathy for Casey. She has walked a winding road, torn between personal aspirations and societal expectations, often feeling lost, fragile, and rebellious. Unu, having endured his own painful journey between convention and self-discovery, understands her. He forgives her and, in doing so, finds peace within himself.

The title, Free Food for Millionaires, is also symbolic. The scene where wealthy bankers urge Casey to take the free food highlights a deeper theme: even the rich are not immune to feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction.

When it comes to life choices, I tend to prioritize safety, while Dad prefers embracing a “splendid failure” at the expense of self-exploration. In the end, everyone must choose between a conventional path and one defined by personal exploration. Not uncommonly, some may wander between both, on and off.