英语与文化
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7 Signs Your Parents Are Emotionally Immature
1. They are insensitive to your feelings
他们对你的感受不敏感
Do your parents refuse to put effort into understanding you and seeing things from your point of view?
你父母拒绝尽力理解你并从你的观点来看问题吗？
Instead of being considerate and empathetic, your parents don't seem to care about your feelings at all.
非关怀和具同理心，你父母看上去根本不关心你的感受。
They don't think about how their words or actions might affect you or how it might make you feel.
他们不考虑他们的言语或行为给你带来的影响或感受。
They expect you to be grateful and go along with everything they want because they say it's for your own good.
他们期望你感激并赞同任何事，因为他们说这是为你好。
2. They take their problems out on you
他们因自己的问题而向你发泄
Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around your parents when they've had a bad day?
当你父母这天过得很糟糕，你会觉得自己战战兢兢，如履薄冰吗？（像走在蛋壳上吗）？
Instead of being calm, rational（理性的）, and level-headed(头脑冷静的）, your parents are defensive, easily frustrated and they lose their temper a lot.
你的父母并不安详、冷静、头脑冷静，而是防御性的，容易沮丧和发脾气。
They don't know how to keep their feelings in check, so they take their anger and frustration out on you.
take out on sb: 对某人发泄
他们不知道如何检视自己的情绪，于是把他们的怒气向你发泄。
parents who are emotionally mature know how to control their feelings rather than letting their feelings control them.
情感成熟的父母知道如何控制他们的情绪而不是让他们的情绪控制他们。
3. They demand too much from you
他们对你要求太多
Do your parents make you feel like nothing you do will ever be enough for them?
你父母让你 感觉你做的一切对他们来说都不够？
They set impossible goals for you and then make you feel guilty for failing to live up to their unrealistically high expectations.
live up to: 不辜负、做到 （fail to live up to：辜负、没有做到）
他们为你设立了不可能达到的目标，让你因为辜负了他们不现实的高期望而内疚。
parents who are emotionally mature on the other hand, understand that it's the effort and not the outcome that matters.
而情感成熟的父母知道努力比结果更重要。
You don't need to be the smartest, most athletic, or most accomplished to make them proud.
你不需要是最聪明的，最强壮的，或最成功的来让他们骄傲。
4. They are quick to point fingers
他们不加思索地指责你
Your parents blame you for everything. A mark of emotional maturity is when you learn to hold yourself accountable and to take responsibility for your actions.
你父母对任何事都指责你。一个感情成熟人的标记是，你学会为你的行为承担责任。
So, if your parents always put the blame on others when things go wrong, it's a sign that they may be emotionally immature.
put the blame on others 把责任推给别人，甩锅别人
如果你的父母总在事情错时把责任推给别人，说明他们的情感不成熟。
You will never hear them say:" It's my fault" or "I know I made a mistake" because in their eyes they can do no wrong.
你从来不会听他们说：“这是我的错”或者“我知道我犯了个错误”。因为在他们眼里他们不会犯错。
5. They are not aware of their own flaws
他们对自己的缺点不察觉
Do your parents think they're always right and that you should always listen to them?
你父母认为他们永远是对的，你应该永远听他们的吗？
They may be judgmental（主观臆断）, closed-minded（思想封闭的） and unaware of their own shortcomings.
他们有可能主观臆断的，思想封闭的，不察觉自己的缺陷。
Those who are emotionally immature fail to see that they could be wrong sometimes or that they might not know everything.
他们没有认识到他们可能犯错或者他们也可能不懂任何事。
Because of this, they instill a lot of self-doubt and feelings of dependency in their children, making them think that speaking up or standing up for themselves is wrong.
由此，他们对他们的孩子灌输了很多自我怀疑和依赖的感受，让他们觉得大胆为自己说话是错的。
6. They are too controlling of you
他们对你控制太多
Are your parents rigid, stubborn and overbearing?
你的父母古板、固执、专横吗？
They have their values and ideals that they expect you to live by.
They don't allow you to disagree with their choices or question their judgment.
他们有自己的价值观和想法希望你遵从。他们不允许你不同意他们的选择或质疑他们的判断。
Because of this: your self-esteem becomes dependent on their approval of you and you feel the need to hide certain aspects of yourself and fear。
因此，你的自尊变得依赖于他们的肯定，你觉得有隐藏你某些方面的自己和恐惧的需要。
7. They have low stress tolerance
他们对压力忍受力低
Another mark of emotional maturity is a person's willingness to be flexible and to adapt to their situation.
对于情感成熟的人来说的一个标记是，他的愿望是灵活的并能适应环境。
But if your parents have low-stress tolerance, they're likely to be rigid and overbearing.
但如果你的父母具有低压力耐受力的话，他们可能是古板的和专横的。
They don't cope well when their plans fall apart or when things don't go the way they expected.
当他们的计划泡汤或者事情不是他们预期的那样时，他们应对不好。
It's hard for them to accept when you want something for yourself, that's different from what they want for you.
对他们来说，很难接受当你想为自己要一些和他们对你的预期不一样的东西。
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