暖冬cool夏
这里一年四季温暖如春，没有酷暑没有严寒......
The pandemic outbreak of coronavirus, raging like a wildfire in the states, forcibly shut down schools, stores, and offices. Entering the second week of working from home, I started to miss the days in office, where I am single-minded and have more time to myself. The almost routine 20+ minutes noon nap in the car is a luxury now, though a comfy bed is right next to me. With three mouths to feed, my lunch hour is busily spent in the kitchen.
It's Friday morning. The temperature outside is in its 60s. Getting up and having curtains drawn to the sides, I saw the sunlight casting through the rectangular window some patterns on the carpet, squared sun with shawdows of leafy willows dancing upon it. I sat with my back to the desk, a hiatus as the laptop is running the data. The room without heating, which is not recommended at the time of coronovirus, is cold. I drank some hot water, put on socks, but my toes still felt icy. As the hour ticked by, the sunny patterns on the floor changed, with and without leafy silhouette. The squared sunlight then got brighter and warmer, inviting me to place my feet in it.
It is a quiet morning, as I enjoy the reading of Maugham's Of Human Bondage on the Ipad. Without the muffled phone conversation from the next door (he is at meeting again), I would have thought it a weekend morning. The sun now shines shiningly on the leaves outside the window. The long hanging willow-like branches are dotted with pink bell-shaped flowers. I revel in the moment I spare for myself, knowing that soon I have to plunge back to work.
The other room across the aisle did not have any sound. She must be still in bed.
The "social distancing" is a buzz word now with rampant coronavirus infection numbers. While 6 feet is assumed to be safe, shall we also keep a distance in the family? If so, how many feet? "A bowl of soup", as people once suggested?
I learned not to wake her up, to give her enough space and freedom. Her coming home this time is not voluntary, and her slight antagonism puts me on a cautionary note. For the first few days, I was seized with a pang of remorse and anguish. I am no longer confident that I did the right thing to have her cancel the trip. As Maugham puts in his novel that " one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one’s own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody’s else advice. “
But is my advice considered as right?
She is a fully fledging bird, young she is in our eyes, her wings strong enough to steer her on her course. The new resting place, adrifting and away from home, has its appealing. And distance breeds differences, giving rise to the ultimate gap. Perhaps, she no longer feels at home in the place she once called home, scupulous we are to tend to her need.
The bond that ties us together for more than 20 years is not as strong as we thought. It is not cemented like concrete, but fragile and breakable.
Every day, I cook the best meals as I can, and then serve the plates outside the door for her to pick up, now that she is quarantined. The communication between us is very limited. But the meal must have done its job arousing in her the flavor of home, old sweet home in her memory, drawing her back nearer to me. As days go by, the grudge or bitterness, if any, melts away, like an ice in the water, like the sun penetrating the window, like a shell softening in the vinegar.
The night before, she offered to go grocery shopping with me, eager to cook her dish for us. With the masks on, we went to a Korean supermarket before it closes at eight. Back home, he came downstairs to help carry food and vegetables from the car. With a joke, we all laughed behind the masks, her eyes above the covered face beaming in the dim streetlight.
I am reading Maugham's novel Of Human Bondage now. It is a great read, and I highly recommend it to you. (You can download for free online). You will like it. The inner self revealed through his descriptive writing is immensely powerful, and of course the language and the structure help weave a masterpiece.
Thanks again for your encouraging comment. Take care!
I read your sadness and fully get it. I have a friend who are experiencing the same as you did. you are not alone. Your little girl has grown into an adult who has independent thoughts. It's hard to see it a good thing or bad thing. I believe you and her dad still are the two most important person in her heart.
Take care.
在美国长大的孩子都很有主见，我们家女儿也是，
不过，事实证明你这次没让她出去旅行是对的，孩子慢慢会理解的。
女儿回家了，发现人就是要相处才有感情，我会珍惜的，就如你说的，这样的日子不会常有的。谢谢迪儿，保重啊!
你女儿的自觉性太强了，这样严格的隔离真不容易。你在女儿身上的体验，我也在我女儿身上看到。每次她回来，我经常想，幸亏只有一个周末，时间长了我也受不了。
不过如你所说，磕磕绊绊一段之后，新的平衡会形成。这是病毒给我们带来的团聚，按住自己的火气，用心享受这段难得的时光。以后，我们都会怀念这一段日子。
我家儿子小一点，加上心思简单，和他相处还算轻松。
The new cases in the state of WA is actually decreasing day by day, while the situation here in CA is getting worse:)) But as far as we stay at home, it shall be fine. God bless America! Thanks for sharing, and take care, 闻香!
Yes, we interrupted their travel plans, but in retrospect we were right, they now understand why we did it. Through this, our relationship will only be better.
女儿在家的日子是不是好像又回到了她高中时代？突然发现一天要做两顿饭，而且每顿饭还要费心思做孩子喜欢吃的；）
Thanks for saying that. Hopefully kids growing up in America will agree that blood is thicker than water:)) I can only change myself. Yes, let's be strong ourselves, physically and mentally. Thanks, my friend. Have a great week too!
I have been reading that book for a long time at snail pace. I like the quote but more importantly, whatever I do, I feel pointless to blame these days. Nothing compares with the blood tie between parents and children. So I don't worry about it and just need to be strong myself.
Have a great week.
那天大杉短信卖弄中文 包子打狗。 俺乘机灌输 狗咬吕洞宾，忠言逆耳，良药苦口，苦口婆心 :)