影片采访了大量相关人员。最令人感动的是,那些失去孩子的父母成立了一个团队,他们聚在一起成为精神健康的有力推动者和积极活动家,比如2005年第一起自杀事件的孩子JP的母亲,她多次在公众会议上分享自己的心路历程,冀望社区能够意识到问题所在。
1)确保孩子至少每天6小时睡眠;
2)只允许孩子因为喜欢而非同学压力而选这门AP课;
3)如果你的孩子常规性地不能在12点以前睡觉,应该退出AP课或降到低档课程;
4)课外活动主要是让孩子通过做他们喜欢的事得以从课业压力中解脱放松和学习团队精神及人际交往能力。确保孩子不是仅仅为了增色简历而非个人爱好而选择课外活动;
5)告诉孩子你爱他们本身,不是爱他们带回家的成绩。告诉他们,他们是你的命根子!告诉他们你每天都爱他们。告诉他们在他们以后漫长的生命旅程中会有更多的人爱他们;
6)告诉孩子在Palo Alto高中一个普通孩子(每学期至少一个B)将会是南加大的学习尖子。不要用这个高中的标准判断自己在世界的位置。告诉他们"你比你想象的要更联明有能力。你会在大学感觉很棒"。所以好日子就要来了;
7)带孩子出去参加爬山、露营或其它户外活动,这是减压的好方法。男孩在共同活动如车里或爬山时易于敞开心扉。睡前和餐桌上也是和孩子交流的好时机;
8)告诉孩子经历挫折和失败是好的经验,它使你对克服它并从中走出来更有经验和信心。所以拥抱挫折失败吧,因为它使你强大,不要害怕它;
9)学会从朋友、父母、老师和其他成人那里寻求帮助,这叫"有路子",高情商的重要特质。寻求帮助是聪明而非软弱的表现;
10)通过活动、宗教等方式帮助孩子找到他们的热诚,使之了解生命的目的;
11)每天至少花半小时坐在孩子边上一起做事或只是说说话。
为方便与孩子交流,以下是英文的list,感谢Debra, Amy and the PACPC team的整理:
1) Make sure your kid has AT LEAST 6 hours sleep every day.
2) Only allows your kids to take the AP class if he/she likes the subject, not for peer pressure.
3) Drop AP class or downlane if your kid routinely can't go to bed by 12:00.
4) Extracurricular activities are primary for kids to get relaxed from their academic stress by doing what they enjoy and learn team work and people skill. Make sure your kid does not pick extracurricular activities for boosting his resume only, not for personal enjoyment.
5) Tell your kids you love them who they are, not what grade they bring home. Tell them you love them every day. Tell them they are your apple of your eyes!Tell them you love them every day. Tell them that they will be loved by more people in their long journey of life later.
6) Tell your kids the average kid in Paly (at least one "B" per semester is an academic star at USC). Don't use Paly standard to judge themselves in the world. Tell them "You are a lot smarter and capable than you think. You will feel great in college." So better time is coming.
7) Take your kids out for hiking, camping or other outdoor activities, a good way to decompress. Boys tend to open up when doing parallel activities together like in the car and hiking. Bedtime and dinner table are also the good time to talk to your kids.
8) Tell your kid it is good to experience setback and failure which gives you experience and confidence that you can overcome it and therefore become resilient. So embrace setback and failure because it makes you strong, don't be scare of it.
9) Learn to ask for help from friends, parents, teachers and other adults. It is called "Resourceful", a very important trait for high EQ individual. Ask for help is being "Smart" not being "Weak".
10) Help your kids to find their passion which gives them the purpose of their lives through activities, religion, etc.
11) Spend at least half hour everyday sitting side by side with your kid(s), doing things together or just talking.
正好学区也制作了一个可以贴在冰箱上的提醒牌,内容也是关于家长如何爱护帮助孩子的。
有一句著名的话,It takes a village to raise healthy kids(教育出健康的孩子需要全村的努力),我想同样,it also takes a village to hurt the kids(伤害孩子的也来自全村的环境)。这是我们全社区应该意识到的。
让我们全都脱下面具,真实地面对世界,以内心的阳光面对这个下雨的现实。
******* 编后语 *******
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