（六）吃大蒜的传票官
英国中世纪最杰出的诗人杰弗里·乔叟（Geoffrey Chaucer，1343-1400年）开始创作《坎特伯雷故事集》（The Canterbury Tales）时，原本打算写大约120个故事，可惜去世前只完成了二十几个。十四世纪的坎特伯雷面积约一平方英里，离伦敦约六七十英里，人口不多，结伴而行比较安全，又可以排除旅途寂寞。在往返需四天的路上，二十九个香客进行讲故事比赛。乔叟在《坎特伯雷故事集》的《总序》（general prologue）里介绍了这些香客的身份和性格特点。我注意到其中一位爱吃大蒜的传票官(Summoner)，现将总序里关于他的诗行翻译如下：
“那个地方有一位传票官和我们在一起，有着一张因患湿疹而火红的丘比特天使脸。他的眼睛缝成一条缝儿，和麻雀一样淫荡好色。黑眉毛上结满痂，胡子稀疏，他有着一张让孩子们害怕的脸。无论是水银、硫磺、密陀僧，还是硼砂、铅粉、塔塔粉，或任何一种软膏，都治不好他脸颊上的疖子、白色的脓包和疙瘩。他非常喜欢吃大蒜、洋葱和韭菜，喝着鲜红如血的烈性酒，然后他会像疯子一样大声喊叫。当他狂饮了许多酒后，只会喊出拉丁语。他从法院的判决里学到了两三个拉丁短语，这也难怪，因为他整天都在听。而且你很清楚，即使是松鸦也能把‘沃特’说得和教皇一样好。但若是你想挑战他说些别的，就发现他只会一遍遍地用拉丁语说：‘哪条法律适用于这种情况？’ 他是一个好心肠的无赖，很难找到比他更好的家伙了。为什么呢？为了一夸脱的酒，他会把自己的小妾让给某个好男人十二个月，而且彻底原谅他。（虽然我们私底下知道，他可以偷偷去找另一个女人）。如果他碰巧遇到一个好人，在这种情况下，他就会教那人不必敬畏总执事的诅咒，除非他的灵魂躺在他的钱袋里。因为在钱袋里才会受罚，‘钱袋是总执事的地狱。’他说。然而我很清楚他是在撒谎，每一个罪人都应该害怕诅咒，害怕进坟墓前被革除了教籍。（因为诅咒是死路一条，蒙赦免是获救）。他凭借权利，轻而易举地知道了教会管辖的教区里的少男少女们的秘密。他的头上戴着一个大花环，和小酒店木桩上的招牌一样大，他用他们烤的一个面包做他的盾牌。”
(A summoner was with us in that place,
Who had a fiery-red, cherubic face,
For eczema he had; his eyes were narrow
As hot he was, and lecherous, as a sparrow;
With black and scabby brows and scanty beard;
He had a face that little children feared.
There was no mercury, sulphur, or litharge,
No borax, ceruse, tartar, could discharge,
Nor ointment that could cleanse enough, or bite,
To free him of his boils and pimples white,
Nor of the bosses resting on his cheeks.
Well loved he garlic, onions, aye and leeks,
And drinking of strong wine as red as blood.
Then would he talk and shout as madman would.
And when a deal of wine he'd poured within,
Then would. he utter no word save Latin.
Some phrases had he learned, say two or three,
Which he had garnered out of some decree;
No wonder, for he'd heard it all the day;
And all you know right well that even a jay
Can call out "Wat" as well as can the pope.
But when, for aught else, into him you'd grope,
'Twas found he'd spent his whole philosophy;
Just "Questio quid juris" would he cry.
He was a noble rascal, and a kind;
A better comrade 'twould be hard to find.
Why, he would suffer, for a quart of wine,
Some good fellow to have his concubine
A twelve-month, and excuse him to the full
(Between ourselves, though, he could pluck a gull).
And if he chanced upon a good fellow,
He would instruct him never to have awe,
In such a case, of the archdeacon's curse,
Except a man's soul lie within his purse;
For in his purse the man should punished be.
"The purse is the archdeacon's Hell," said he.
But well I know he lied in what he said;
A curse ought every guilty man to dread
(For curse can kill, as absolution save),
And 'ware significavit to the grave.
In his own power had he, and at ease,
The boys and girls of all the diocese,
And knew their secrets, and by counsel led.
A garland had he set upon his head,
Large as a tavern's wine-bush on a stake;
A buckler had he made of bread they bake. )
（注：bush 指的是从前挂在小酒馆前作为小酒馆标志的树枝或常春藤）
传票官的职责是为教堂法院发传票给那些被指控为违反教会法律的教徒，他不属于神职人员编制。从他喜欢吃大蒜、洋葱和韭葱这个事实来判断，他应当属于中下阶层。因为一直到十九世纪，英国贵族和神职人员还是很抗拒吃大蒜的，我们可以从著名诗人雪莱（Percy Bysshe Shelley，1792—1822）的一封书信得到证明。1818年，诗人去意大利旅游，在信里提到了他对意大利的印象：“这里有两个意大利…… 一个是人们想象中的最美妙和最可爱的意大利，另一个是最堕落、最讨厌和最恶心的意大利。你怎么看呢？年轻的上等女人实际上吃了 – 你永远也不会猜到-大蒜！我们可怜的朋友拜伦勋爵和这群人生活在一起，也受到了严重腐蚀。事实上，过着一种与他的身份不相配的生活。”（“There are two Italies…. The one is the most sublime and lovely contemplation that can be conceived by the imagination of man; the other is the most degraded, disgusting, and odious. What do you think? Young women of rank actually eat — you will never guess what — garlick! Our poor friend Lord Byron is quite corrupted by living among these people, and in fact, is going on in a way not worthy of him.” ）
所以传票官满嘴蒜味在教堂里发传票，是对上帝的一种亵渎和对职业的不敬。他藐视神灵的存在，对犯错的人说“钱袋是总执事的地狱”，暗示他们可以靠行贿来逃避责罚。他官当的不大，却懂得以权谋私，似乎屡屡得逞，还好色好淫。
和传票官结伴同游的是一位在教堂里卖赎罪券的赦免官（Pardoner），乔叟是这样形容他的：“和他一起结伴骑行的是他的朋友和同行，一个名叫若望西瓦的温和的赦免官，直接从罗马教廷来。他高声唱着‘爱人，来到我身边’，传票官的和唱让人不胜其扰，一只喇叭的声响都不及他一半。这位赦免官的头发像蜡一样黄，似一小束亚麻散落地垂下来，一绺一绺地垂在头四周，他让这些头发披在了肩头，只是一缕缕披散得稀稀拉拉的。虽然兜帽一直装在他的钱袋里，为了图潇洒他一直没有戴。他似乎在追赶时髦，披头散发，脑瓜上只戴着便帽。他的眼睛像野兔的眼睛一样闪闪发亮，帽子上逢着精致的圣维罗尼卡像。他的钱袋坠在他的大腿上，里面塞满了从罗马带来的赎罪券。他的声音像绵羊又弱又尖，他没有胡子，也永远不会长，他的脸光滑得就像刚刮过胡子一样，依我看，他不是阉过的雄马就是母马。从伯立克到韦尔，很难找到骗术如此之高的赦免官。他的袋子里有一个枕套，他说那是圣母的面纱。他说他拥有圣彼得的一张船帆，是圣彼得在海上航行时用的帆，直到耶稣改变了他的信仰。他有一个镶满了石子的黄铜十字架，一个装着猪骨头的瓶子。凭着这些圣物，当他遇见一个头脑简单的教士，那么他在一天挣到的钱比那些可怜的傻瓜两个月挣到的还多。因此，凭着这些吹捧和花招，他把教士和其他人骗得团团转。但最后还要说一句大实话：他在教会里是一位好传教士，擅长念经文、说故事，在奉献仪式上唱得最动听。因为他清楚地知道当那首歌唱完之后，他就可以用最华丽的语言传道。为了尽他所能挣些银子，他唱得又欢快又响亮。”
(With him there rode a gentle pardoner
Of Rouncival, his friend and his compeer;
Straight from the court of Rome had journeyed he.
Loudly he sang "Come hither, love, to me,"
The summoner joining with a burden round;
Was never horn of half so great a sound.
This pardoner had hair as yellow as wax,
But lank it hung as does a strike of flax;
In wisps hung down such locks as he'd on head,
And with them he his shoulders overspread;
But thin they dropped, and stringy, one by one.
But as to hood, for sport of it, he'd none,
Though it was packed in wallet all the while.
It seemed to him he went in latest style,
Dishevelled, save for cap, his head all bare.
As shiny eyes he had as has a hare.
He had a fine veronica sewed to cap.
His wallet lay before him in his lap,
Stuffed full of pardons brought from Rome all hot.
A voice he had that bleated like a goat.
No beard had he, nor ever should he have,
For smooth his face as he'd just had a shave;
I think he was a gelding or a mare.
But in his craft, from Berwick unto Ware,
Was no such pardoner in any place.
For in his bag he had a pillowcase
The which, he said, was Our True Lady's veil:
He said he had a piece of the very sail
That good Saint Peter had, what time he went
Upon the sea, till Jesus changed his bent.
He had a latten cross set full of stones,
And in a bottle had he some pig's bones.
But with these relics, when he came upon
Some simple parson, then this paragon
In that one day more money stood to gain
Than the poor dupe in two months could attain.
And thus, with flattery and suchlike japes,
He made the parson and the rest his apes.
But yet, to tell the whole truth at the last,
He was, in church, a fine ecclesiast.
Well could he read a lesson or a story,
But best of all he sang an offertory;
For well he knew that when that song was sung,
Then might he preach, and all with polished tongue.
To win some silver, as he right well could;
Therefore he sang so merrily and so loud.)
（注：Veronica，圣维罗尼卡，曾用她的面纱擦拭耶稣脸上的血和汗，耶稣的面容奇迹般地印在织物上）
同传票官一样，赦免官也不是教堂的神职人员。在乔叟那个年代，人们认为一个人的外表是他内心世界的真实写照，赦免官的光滑的不长胡子的面孔和绵羊般的声音暗示了他的性取向，所以乔叟怀疑他和传票官在搞同性恋。他以上帝的名义行骗，骗术高超，从毫无戒心的信徒身上谋取暴利。他在教堂里优美动听的歌唱并非出于宗教热情，而是一种包装手段，用来谋取更多的经济利益。
看得出乔叟对传票官和赦免官是相当鄙视的，他俩丑陋的行径是否也暴露了教会腐败的一面呢？
