不要再批评我、给我建议了！

My aunt called and asked me about Yangyang's new videos, or the lack of them. She loves Yangyang, and is a No.1 fan of his videos and pictures. She was concerned about Yangyang's well-being, feeling that he is not as "bright" as before, and looks very tired from the pictures. I don't know what to say. When I told him about my worry, she immediately dismissed me like most people. She told me that I should talk to him more, read to him more, love him more, hug him more, and worry less. She did not think that I should take YY to see a specialist or a doctor. At times like this, I could get pretty upset. All these people, they don't know anything about me and my baby, and they just give me unsolicited advices all the time. They tell me what I should do, and then tells me that I should not listen to anyone, and tells me how to improve my parenting skills. I have tried everything anyone has ever told me, I even have tried to "not try anything". Nothing really "works" in our family, and I accept it and am willing to seek professional help. Then these people say that I need help myself, because I am "sick". This is just so upsetting.

Everyone tells me that it's good that YY is not walking early. My mom calls me to tell me that everyone tells her that it is good that YY is not talking early. Everyone seems to think that it's good for a baby to develop more slowly. I tell them that I am not worried about his slowness, but I worry about his lack of communication and social skills. They won't listen to me. They keep telling me how I should just let YY develop in his own way. I do let him, but I would like to help him if he needs and be part of his life. If I don't worry about his development, who will? I am the only mother he is got, and I am the one who is responsible for him. Everyone else should worry about their own children, and stop criticizing me.

Maybe these people wish to have done something differently with their children in the past, and they want to share their experience with me. It is OK to share, but it is not OK to impose. If they want to share, they should just tell me how they raised their children, and what they think about their own approach. They are not our doctor and they don't know us, so they are not qualified to impose their ideas on us.

I think I will not share with these people anymore. We can manage ourselves.

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Yangyang woke up early today, and was playing with his toys in the crib. After he had some milk, I tried to leave him alone for a while as usual, he started crying. He used to be so good at being left alone in the morning, or even if he protested, he would only "cry" for a few seconds and then began to play his toys or read his books. But today he would not stop for a few minutes--he stopped crying a few times to play something, and then resumed crying again. He was faking it at first, and then he just got used to the idea of crying. I had to take him out of the crib. Then he refused to have his diaper changed. The last few days was always difficult to change him. He cries and cries, twisting this way and that way, and as soon as the diaper change is over, he comes to all fours and smiles. I think he is learning to manipulate us by crying. I consider this as a progress.

Today the Melissa & Doug fruits toy arrived. It is prescribed by the OT to help him use both hand to grab. He was able to play with it correctly for a while, then he started throwing the fruits around. His favorite "toys" these days are the answer machine (I had to record a couple of messages just for him), my computer keyboard and mouse (he could browse the internet by clicking the mouse), cell phone and camera (of course). He often pretends to pick up small thread of stuff from some fabric and quickly put "it" into his mouth, and he would repeat this for a while, laughing, looking at me. I don't know why he does it, but at least he is initiating some plays with us.

It's very windy, so we didn't go to the park. Instead, we went to the library to check out the children's area. There were three other little boys with their mothers, picking up books and reading together. Yangyang just crawled around and around, never wanted to sit with me to read. He sometimes reached for other kids or moms. I love reading and I love to share books with him, but I have never been able to read together with him.

We went to Bottle Inn for dinner. He ate some pasta and sausage and meat, and when we got home, he ate a lot of baby food, and half a banana. I don't think restaurant food is suitable for him yet.

[DuoDuoMaMa2007]

I don't think you need to be so upset, just be who you are and not you're told to. When I hear something I don't want to hear, I just let it go as long as it's not insulting.

BTW, toddlers at YY's age have a very short attention span. My son was no exception, too. I think it will be much better after a couple of months. My son now can sit with me asking me to read for him. It seems that YY's progressing. Good luck!