(2012-02-13 18:29:59) 下一个


Ladies, Let me share some serioussecret with you, in case you haven’t known it yet.

There is one holiday in the entire year, we, men, in this country are extremely consternated and terrified. Well, you guess it – It’s Valentine’s Day  (a.k.a  Doomsday in males' vocabulary).  As the matter of fact, some dudes I know would be rather to endure root canal surgery instead of V-day. J

It’s natural for you ladies to ask why we dislike V-day somuch.  Fine,  I’ll tell you why with details in a minute.  My same species, I am going to spill the beans here; so I’d  like to ask your forgiveness in advance, please don‘t call me trader or other unpleasant names okay ? You should know what I am trying to say here  may practically “save” your lives later. J  Are you with me ?

To spare the agony  and anguish, I am going to just give you two reasons hidden in the secret.

Reason number one: It’s so ubiquitous and pervasive.  The whole V-day concept stains and defiles men across all walks of life; worse of all, we can run, but we can’t hide from these forced/demanded romance pressed down onto us from the formidable alliance of Madison Ave. and women in America.  

For example, in the city where I live, each year right after the crystal ball touches the ground at Time Square, our breath  sill smell some residuals of champagnes from the party of celebrating New Year;  all of the sudden, with no warning, as if there were a person who casts a magic spell with a wand:  cheap looking pink heart shapes pop up on almost every store windows on every block in the city.

As a direct result, from Jan. 2nd to Feb 14th,  poor guys in this fine city have to bear the brunt of daily dose “friendly reminder”. The bombardment of messages are everywhere you turn,  from Hallmark's seductive V-day greeting cards at the  stores’ shelves to slutty transparent little pink sleepwear in the window displays, which is normally supposed to turn us on but during this time of the year it actually debilitates our manhood with the mounting stresses. L

Ladies, you don’t understand how much the pressures are built within us because there is no equivalent holiday on your calendar to “stare” at you. Guess what, I think V-day essentially promotes sexism that targets and discriminates males as a whole. Why ? Go  and figure it out yourself. J

Reason number two:  It is so tortuous for men to buy so called “right” gifts to their loves. Surveys have suggested  that over 70% of guys failed to match their ladies’ expectations when it comes to give V-day gifts.

In fact, even the most creative guys on the earth may be at their wits’ end in terms to find perfect V-day gifts for their ladies. Moreover,  the ladies who are supposed to be kind, graceful  and caring for their men suddenly become merciless and heartless before V-day, giving either too little hints or too subtle ones for us. Therefore, the pain and suffering for men become so unbearable that some of us may actually  suffer severe V.G.S ( V-day gift syndrome, which may include symptoms such as agitation, muscle ache, insomnia, cold sweat, dilated pupils, nausea and impotence ... ). In some cases, gift-buying could turn ugly and smash a guy’s dignity to pieces. L

Today at our morning briefing,  Mike,  one of my guys shared with us his heartwrenching experience at the Mall of Short Hills, New Jersey last Sunday. The incidents roughly went like this:

Setting: in the Victoria’s Secret store crowded with clueless men (Please note,  in the rest to  the year, V.S is  almost a  no-man’s land.)

Mike put down a bag of  fine Chocolate on the floor and was about to pick the last piece of  “Balconet Babydoll” for his wife. Coming nowhere, a hands stretched from his back grabbed the garment from his head, the speed and power, according to Mike,  might surpass the professional NBA players.

“Man, this piece is mine, give it back to me!”  Irritated Mike said to the man who held the garment in his hands.

“Says who ?”  the sully man barked back.

“Man, I was here first, and I was about to take it .” Mike tried to soft his tone, reasoning with the guy.

“Yeah, I got it in my hand now, finders keepers!” the guy sneered at Mike, sounding like a toddler fights a toy with his competitor. 

“How about I give you 100 bucks, you give it to me.” Mike made an offer that he thought  he could  win guy over.

“Forget about it, this is not ebay!  You can’t bid me off here, man. Besides, If I don’t get her some good gift, my baby will kiss me and say goodbye!”  The guy gave Mike a sorry look and walked to the counter victoriously, leaving Mike surrounded by the sea of female’s under garments and his own regrets.LL

Now, let me ask you ladies a very simple question, have you ever face this kind of challenge and humiliation in men’s stores ?  Of course not, right ? Now, you know how we'd feel!

The funny part is that after Mike’s “emotionally devastating recounts”, not a single woman (there were three of them in the room) showed any sympathetic sentiments to ego-depleted Mike as if it were Mike’s fault, and he should suffer the consequences. The only comforting words offered was from a girl in her 20th  “Then get her something that's more romantic.”

“More romantic ?”  Are you kidding ? Here is a thing, when it comes to be romantic , men and women see thing thousand miles apart.  Something is romantic to women may have no appeal to men, and vice versa.

Ladies, do you get my points ? However, please do have a great V-day tomorrow.  Please don’t let my exaggerations and dry humors ruin your mood.  

Oh, by the way, just  in case your gift is a piece of cloth from Victoria Secret, please give you man a big kiss because he might stand up just for you at V.S . J J

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