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An Irish Joke
(2009-01-13 12:13:35)

JohnO'Reillyhoistedhisbeerandsaid,"Here'stospendingtherestofmelife,inbetweenthelegsofmewife!"
Thatwonhimthetopprizeatthepubforthebesttoastofthenight!
Hewenthomeandtoldhiswife,Mary,"Iwontheprizeforthebesttoastofthenight."
Shesaid,"Aye,didyenow.Andwhatwasyourtoast?"
Johnsaid,"Here'stospendingtherestofmelife,sittinginchurchbesidemywife."
"Oh,thatisveryniceindeed,John!"Marysai...[阅读全文]
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Financial Crisis
(2009-01-13 11:10:30)
Dearemployees,
Duetothecurrentfinancialsituationcausedbytheslowdownofeconomy,Managementhasdecidedtoimplementaschemetoputworkersof40yearsofageandaboveonearlyretirement.ThisschemewillbeknownasRAPE(RetireAgedPeopleEarly).
PersonsselectedtobeRAPEDcanapplytomanagementtobeeligiblefortheSHAFTscheme(SpecialHelpAfterForcedTermination).PersonswhohavebeenRAPEDandSHAFTEDwillbereviewedundertheSCREWprog...[阅读全文]
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Canadian Morality Test
(2009-01-13 08:52:03)

CanadianMoralityTest
Thistestisveryquickwithonlyonequestion,butit'saveryimportantone,especiallyconsideringthenewsofthepastweek.Bygivinganhonestanswer,youwilldiscoverwhereyoustandmorally.
Thetestfeaturesanunlikely,completelyfictionalsituationinwhichyouwillhavetomakeadecision.
Rememberthatyouranswerneedstobehonest,yetspontaneous.
Pleasescrolldownslowlyandgivedueconsiderationtoea...[阅读全文]
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One Wish Genie
(2009-01-13 08:49:19)

OneWishGenie
Awomanrubbedabottleandoutpoppedagenie.Theamazedwomanaskedifshegotthreewishes.
Thegeniesaid,'I'maonewish-genie.So....whatwillitbe?'
Thewomandidnothesitate.Shesaid,'IwantpeaceintheMiddleEast.Seethismap?IwantthesecountriestostopfightingwitheachotherandwantalltheArabstolovetheJewsandAmericaandvice-versa.Itwillbringaboutworldpeaceandharmony.'
Thegenielookedatthemapande...[阅读全文]
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Two Jokes on Seniors
(2009-01-13 08:47:36)

Adistraughtseniorcitizenphonedherdoctor'soffice.
"Isittrue,"shewantedtoknow,"thatthemedicationyouprescribedhastobetakenfortherestofmylife?"
"Yes,I'mafraidso,"thedoctortoldher.
Therewasamomentofsilencebeforetheseniorladyreplied,
"I'mwondering,then,justhowseriousismyconditionbecausethisprescriptionismarked'NOREFILLS'."
----------------...[阅读全文]
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Can I borrow $25?
(2009-01-13 08:44:06)

CANIBORROW$25?
Amancamehomefromworklate,tiredandirritated,tofindhis5-yearoldsonwaitingforhimatthedoor.
SON:'Daddy,mayIaskyouaquestion?'
DAD:'Yeahsure,whatitis?'repliedtheman.
SON:'Daddy,howmuchdoyoumakeanhour?'
DAD:'That'snoneofyourbusiness.Whydoyouasksuchathing?'themansaidangrily.
SON:'Ijustwanttoknow.Pleasetellme,howmuchdoyoumakeanhour?'
DAD:'Ifyoumustknow,Imake$...[阅读全文]
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A More Effective way to Write
(2009-01-13 08:39:38)
*******
Ihavereceivedthebelowarticlefromoneofmyassociates
andleaveithereforyoutoenjoy.
*******
AMoreEffectivewaytoWriteanExplanationonasamething
Ablindboysatonthestepsofabuildingwithahatbyhisfeet.Heheldupasignwhichsaid:"Iamblind,pleasehelp."Therewereonlyafewcoinsinthehat.
Amanwaswalkingby.Hetookafewcoinsfromhispocketanddroppedthemintothehat.Hethentookthesign,turne...[阅读全文]
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\'I was going the exact speed limit.\'
(2009-01-13 08:36:09)

Astatetrooperseesacarputteringalongat22mph.Hethinkstohimself,"Thisdriverisasdangerousasaspeeder!"
Soheturnsonhislightsandpullsthedriverover.Approachingthecar,henoticesthattherearefiveelderlyladies,twointhefrontseatandthreeinthebackseat,wide-eyedandwhiteasghosts.
Thedriver,obviouslyconfused,saystohim,"Officer,Idon'tunderstand.Iwasgoingtheexactspeedlimit.Whatseemstobetheproblem?"
Th...[阅读全文]
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Here\'s a list full of Blonde jokes.
(2009-01-13 08:34:30)

Here'salistfullofBlondejokes...
HowBlondewasshe???ShewasSooooooooBlonde...
Shethoughtaquarterbackwasarefund.
ShethoughtGeneralMotorswasinthearmy.
ShethoughtMeowMixwasaCDforcats.
ShethoughtBoyzIIMenwasadaycarecenter.
Atthebottomofanapplicationwhereitsaid"Signhere:"shewrote"Sagittarius."
Shetooktherulertobedtoseehowlongsheslept.
Shesentafaxwit...[阅读全文]
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MEMO: NEW OFFICE POLICY
(2009-01-13 08:32:02)

MEMO:NEWOFFICEPOLICY
EFFECTIVEOCTOBER21,2008
DressCode:
1)Youareadvisedtocometoworkdressedaccordingtoyoursalary.
2)IfweseeyouwearingPradashoesandcarryingaGuccibag,wewillassumeyouaredoingwellfinanciallyandthereforedonotneedaraise.
3)Ifyoudresspoorly,youneedtolearntomanageyourmoneybetter,sothatyoumaybuynicerclothes,andthereforeyoudonotneedaraise.
4)Ifyoudressjustright,yo...[阅读全文]
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