医院笑话集锦

在一本医疗杂志上看到的笑话，没翻译，看原文更有意思。



A Collective From Medical Interview Records written by various paramedics, ER receptionists, and (we are afraid) a doctor or two at major hospitals.

• The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
  

• Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  

• The skin was moist and dry.
  

• Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
  

• The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  

• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
  

• Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
  

• The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
  

• I saw your patient today, who is still under out car for physical therapy.
  

• The patient lives at home with his mother, father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
  

• Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
  

• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
  

• She is numb from toes down.
  

• Exam of genitalia was completed negative except for the right foot.
  

• While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
  

• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  

• The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
  

• Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
  

• coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
  

• Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
  

• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  

• When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.