Archive : DOC and Chase Hughes

 

DOC interview Chase Hugh -fascinating, learned a lot.

You need to build a relationship with the future you

How we live off-camera is coming through in our confidence. If I can live my life off camera the way on camera, my confidence is already on an upper level.

 

Confidence, discipline 

Enjoyment (or mindfulness- enjoy the moment,calmly-which is the most magnetic in human 

 

Blink rate ( Jury selection and Pitch an investor)

Behaviour profiling- 5Cs  / Observe behaviour on 3 categories

1 Change ( e.g saw a behaviour change)

2, Context ( within the context)

3. Clusters (a cluster of behaviour)not just one behaviour but a cluster of identical  behaviours,   

      hide genitals, licking lips, touch nose–hygienical behaviour)

4. Culture(shaking head in Pakistan vs in West)

5. Check list

 

Triangle

Left bottom angle -Authority (talk and move slow)

Communication 

6 category of people(based on what do they need from other people)

 

In every conversation you have with them, they will reveal which group of people they are seeking.

1. Significance

2. Acceptance

3. Approval

4. Intelligence

5. Pity

6. Strength/Power

( Arthur Brooks. fame, money, power, pleasure

fame, -Significance

Money-Intelligence

Power, -Strength/Power

Pleasure-acceptance +approval 

E.G:

1. Significance- significantly driven person, they want to have an impact on making a difference.

2. Acceptance ( we/ us/ our, I am a member of some group, we went to Miami…I am a member of some group, or  I suck at public speaking on stage -they want to hear, no, you did great last time)

3. Approval

4. Intelligence (I did my master thesis on …)

5. Pity (the hardest people to communicate. “They want to hear “I can’t believe how much suffering and struggle you have gone through to get you here. ' They want recognition of suffering.

6.Strength/Power (they want control over other people

Whenever I think about the needs(of other people), I always think about the neurotransmitters. If I can compliment someone on their needs, that’s what we need from others.  When I give them the words they need to hear, I am giving them 500 milligrams of neurotransmitters being released when they hear this, 

Not only do we suffer and feel insecure from childhood trauma etc, but we are all also drug addicts, everybody, just needs to identify the drug that person is addicted to. 

“They have the same quality but they just can’t stop to have a full connection “

 

CONNECTION is a powerful word in the English language

Change Identity vs change idea.

Elicitation( initially comes from John Nolan’s book “ Confidential” which is no longer available other than eBay)

 

Elicitation =using statements instead of questions

 

“ I read an article says Uber driver are the most satisfied self-employees

 

Or talk to the Wholefood staff ( I read an article that Whole food staff makes $30 per hr, that's fantastic.” 

 

They are going to voluntarily correct you - give you the correct answer

Triggering their need to correct the record, to voluntarily offer some kind of info 

Disbelieve ( 3rd layer)-- you sound like you just came back from vacation

 

So…

I bet …

 

Bracket 

The more info you need, the less question to ask

PCP Model:

Perception—context–-permission:  is a way of understanding how to get someone to do something from joining a cult to buying an item-

3 steps but domminals pattern effect 

 

Changing identity is the most effective way to change their behaviour.

Just because you made an agreement

 

Novelty-Milgram experiment (Accept the role of the teacher?)

 

Novelty = my brain expects some routine to happen as the known script, something happens that breaks what I was predicting about the world.

Any kind of novelty generates focus in the mammalian brain.

4 things we can manipulate/influence  the inside of the human or any mammal  brain:

 FATE model

Focus

Authority

Tribe

Emotion (Praise)

 

(Dog whisper-Cecer Milan:

 

Redirect Focus

Establish Authority

Show the context of the Tribe 

Praise the right behaviour

 

This is also the infomercial that gets you to buy something

 

Giving sb an opportunity to comment on who they are

 

Communication on dispute topics

1. Wait till the end, let the other people vent out all their points without interruption, defuse 

2. Decide: What is the idea outcome from this for both of us? If in “ heat” condition, I want to hear what’s not being said. 

3.  

Winning an argument does not mean you are right before or after

 

People want to be right
 

Narcissist  off switch:

 

The biggest is what they are using to get out of you??

FOG: Fear, obligation and guilt.

E.g guilt: “if you don't do xxx I have to do extra xxx”

To disarm the NARC, you should say in a non-confrontational way: “ maybe you did not mean…. But It sounds like… it made me feel guilty about xxxit. I guess you don't mean that- (give the MARC an exit, Chinese the art of wars- golden bridge of retreat—Give your opponent an golden bridge on which they can retreat.)

 

“Maybe you didn’t mean this” 

 

Find out the hidden feeling, or fear behind their attack or saying. Any kind of argument there is a concealed fear,  by stopping and looking at the person AFTER they do their argument, is so incredibly powerful, just stopping and looking at them. 

 

When your eyes look right then left then center - when eyes move in multiple directions,  it’s called trans derivational search 

 

What’s the fear???

Habituation Filter

How can I level up my discipline?

 

Define Discipline

 

Your ability to prioritize the needs of your future self ahead of your own present. 

 

VISION BOARD: How do I explain my life mission to my dog?

“If you are exposed to a product that can't tell you the problem they are solving, you need to be terrified.”

 

DoorDash or Uber eat, Amazon solves our daily problems/provides a solution to our needs.

Apple Vision Pro/Meta’s AR Goggle- are not problem solvers. None of these products can tell you the problem they are solving, because it’s loneliness, and people need to anesthetize themselves from being in their own lives, and we are in the loneliness epidemic. 

 

We've never had this level of connection, but we have never had more loneliness than in this world right now, so there are so many products are out there, they seem great but they cant articulate what they’re realy solving and it’s usually loneliness boredom or need to anesthetize myself so I don’t have to think about my life, I dont have to be in my life.

All Apps use hypnosis, it called Fractionation -make your emotion up and down  increase the suggestibility

 

Dr. Milton Erikson ‘s research in 1996 

Short-form social media is terrifying.

 

All ads sell two main goals:

#1 Make yourself compare yourself to other people in unhealthy ways

#2 Make you think, I am not enough
 

We see this everywhere: I am not enough and I am comparing with other people. And it gets us vs them, then it traps you into a corner of confirmation bias.

 

Decencetize 

 

Mindfulness

 

Nature

 

So practice self forgiving,  almost delusional 

 

Be delusionally self-forgiving about everything.

 

If you can do that, your ability to stay in the present and not be stuck in the past will be 10x overnight. Just the ability to be delusionally self-forgiving.

Thinking about the future is great. Especially once we follow that” discipline” practice.  We are putting concern forward and gratitude backward.

 

NCI.university- neurocognitiveIntelligence