六年前的这个月，一个为期十天的沉浸式S舞蹈课程，让我重新连接上了自己的身体。就在我即将跳舞的那一刻，得到了公司的噩耗，那是一个倾注了我16年心血的事业。但在同一天，我真正感受到了姐妹情谊的支撑力。
当叫到名字时，我穿着12 公分黑色过膝长靴，来到房间中央，跪了下来，像孩子一样张开了双臂等待梦醒时分。舞蹈室的天花板上的灯光很暗，两盏角落里的灯投射出了暖暖的红色光芒。
随着那首歌响起，但我无法动弹，只觉得光滑冰冷的地板贴住了有着温度的手臂。那天早些时候，和姐妹们一起练习的时候，快乐的气息一直涌到了我的脸颊；此时此刻，好像有一个黑洞在肚子中间把我吸到了地球的核心，重重得把我紧紧地往下拉，无论如何努力，肌肉都无法发力。
头顶上彷佛有一个巨大的黑色圆盘压着我，把所有的快乐都冲到了地上，身体里什么也没有了。肩膀耷拉下来，眼泪在大腿上形成了一滩水洼。房间似乎消失了，只有我，一个孤独的灵魂躺在地板上，穿着黑色聚乙烯皮靴和闪闪的亮片连衣裙。抱着头，我把脸埋在又黑又长的头发里，开始抽泣，彷佛陷入了无比黑暗的虚空里，正一步步地沉入无底洞中。
老师温柔的手指轻轻触碰着我的肩胛骨，她的手指摸着我很凉，但我能感觉到她内心的温暖，她低声说:“如果不想跳，也没关系。”
“你说什么! 放弃不是我的选择！” 没有回应，但内心在呐喊。
双手撑起了大腿，再一寸一寸把脊椎骨挺起来，脚后跟踩下去，大腿肌肉彷佛在燃烧，身体又恢复了力量。歌声在我昂首挺胸站起来的那一刻结束了，感觉像一场千年的旅行，用尽了全身力气才站起来。
透过泪水，睁开眼睛，看到了19位同学，连成了半月形，守护着我，当我坐下来哭泣的时候她们守护着这个空间，她们的眼睛里充满了爱与共情，让我感到身体变得柔软而踏实。透过那温暖的光线，我感受到了姐妹间的神圣力量。
感谢上帝，在那痛苦的十天里，当我的世界以无法理解的速度崩溃时，我正在姐妹们爱的怀抱里。她们向我展示了姐妹情谊的力量，激励我为其他女性创造同样的力量。正是这样的姐妹情谊支撑着我，爱着我，帮助我重建了一个更快乐、更美好的生活。正是这样的姐妹情谊，我才有足够的勇气每周分享博客。
谢谢你们，我的姐妹们！我爱你们！
传递给大家满满的爱
伟丽
Exactly six years ago from this month, I was attending a 10-day S factor immersion class to reconnect with my feminine body. Right before it was my turn to dance, I received devastating news about my company to which I had devoted 16 years of my life to serve children with disabilities. On that day, I got a glimpse of the power of a loving sisterhood:
My name was called. In my 7 inches, thigh-high black boots, I walked to the center of the room, knelt down, extended my arms into a child’s pose and exhaled.
The ceiling light was dim. A couple of corner lamps cast a warm, reddish hue in the dance studio.
My song started to play but I couldn’t move. I felt the cold surface of the shiny wood pressing up against my bare arms which were radiating heat. Earlier that morning, I had been filled with crisp, bubbling joy all the way up to my cheeks from dancing with my sisters in class. But at that moment, I felt as if there was a black hole at the center of my belly sucking me down into the core of the planet. The gravity pulled me down so firmly, no matter what I tried, none of my muscles fired.
A big dark disc above my head was pressing down through my body and flushing all of the joy down into the ground. I had no more left in my body. My shoulders were drooping. Tears were forming a puddle on my lap. I felt the room had disappeared. There was only me, a lonely little soul on the floor, in her black vinyl leather boots and sparkly midnight sequin dress. I grabbed the top of my head, buried my face in the long blackness of hair and started to sob. I was in a dark void and was sinking to the bottomless pit in pieces.
I felt the gentle fingertips of my teacher in the delicate space between my shoulder blades. Her fingers were cool to the touch, but I could feel the warmth of her heart as she whispered to me, “It's okay if you don't want to dance.”
“What the fuck are you talking about! As if quitting is an option!” I didn’t respond but screamed inside.
I braced my hands on my thighs as inch by inch, I rolled my spine up. I dug down in my heels and felt the burning of muscles in my thighs and the return of strength to my body. My song ended at the exact time when I finally stood tall with my head held high. It felt like a journey of a thousand years. It took every ounce of me to just stand up.
Through the tears, I opened my eyes to see all 19 of my classmates, forming a half-moon shape, protecting me as I sat and wept and held space for me. Their eyes were full of love and compassion and I felt my body soften and become grounded. Through the warm light, I felt the sacred support of a sisterhood. That was the very first time I ever cried outside my bedroom in America, in the 22 years I had been here, exactly half of my life.
traumatic 10 days when my world was shattering at a speed that I couldn’t comprehend. They showed me the power of sisterhood and inspired me to create the same for other women. It was this sisterhood that held me and loved me and helped me to rebuild a life that is even more grand and beautiful. It is through this sisterhood, that I have gained enough courage to write this blog every week.
I thank Divine for placing me in the loving arms of my sisters during those
Thank you, my sisters. I love you.
Love,
WeiLi
