《老同学聚会“13点”公约 》（ A Goofy Convention for Schoolmate Reunion)

老同学聚会“13点”公约

A Goofy Convention for Schoolmate Reunion

 

“忽如一夜春风来，千树万树梨花开”。亲爱的同学们，在飘雪的冬季，在毕业x周年之际，我们都盼望着重逢的惊喜与欢愉。为了保证聚会的愉快和睦，特诚挚提出以下建议：

“As though the snow is brought by the overnight wind in the spring.  It’s like thousands upon thousands of pear trees blooming.” Dear friends, in this snowing winter, after x years since graduation, we all look forward to the joys of reunion. To ensure the pleasant and harmonious atmosphere of the gathering, I sincerely propose the following suggestions:

 

1. 相互尊重为第一要旨。聚会中不存在行政级别高低。平日居庙堂之高者应表现虚怀若谷之气度，处江湖之远者宜展示超尘脱俗之风骨。

Mutual respect is the top priority. There is no hierarchy in the gathering. Those who are usually in top positions should show a humble attitude, and those who are usually far from high chamber should display an otherworldly demeanor.

2. 禁止对老同学的外貌、着装、发型、化妆、发色、秃顶、皱纹、腰围、胸围、臀围、身高、体重、视力、行走姿势等身体特征进行恶意评论或讥讽。

Malicious comments or mockery regarding the physical characteristics of old schoolmates, such as appearance, clothing, hairstyle, makeup, hair color, baldness, wrinkles, waist circumference, chest circumference, hip circumference, height, weight, vision, walking posture, etc., are strictly prohibited.

3. 请勿攀比财产。尺有所短，寸有所长。腰缠万贯者或感念物质丰富之惬意，两袖清风者可享受精神富有之充实。

Do not compare wealth. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Those with wealth may appreciate the comfort of material abundance, while those with a simple life can enjoy the richness of the spirit.

4. 欢迎配偶一同前往。不要求原装，但须明婚正配。小三、二奶、甜爹、小秘、鲜肉等不在本聚会展示之列。

Spouses are welcome to attend. Originality is not required, but serious relation must be clear. Mistresses, sugar daddies, secret lovers, young hunks, etc., are not included in the display of this gathering.

5. 不得攀比配偶和子女。但其中如有担任国家元首、政府首脑、联合国秘书长，或荣获诺贝尔奖、奥斯卡奖等，则不在禁止之列。大家举杯同庆，共享殊荣。

Do not compare spouses and children. However, if anyone of them has served as a head of state, government leader, UN Secretary-General, or has won Nobel Prize, Oscar, etc., they are not subject to the prohibition. Let's raise our glasses to celebrate together and share the honor.

6. 欢迎公开当年暗恋、钦慕之情。建议在公开场合以轻松、幽默、超脱之方式娓娓道来。禁止一对一深情倾述。

Openly express past crushes and admiration is welcome. It is recommended to narrate in a light, humorous, and detached manner in public. One-on-one deep confessions are strictly prohibited.

7. 切勿翻老账、续旧仇。过去的情敌、政敌等今已不复存在。 不论是感情纠葛、竞争恩怨、财物纠纷，还是性格相悖、话不投机，如今均一笔勾销。

Do not bring up old grudges or continue past conflicts. Past rivals, political enemies, etc., no longer exist. Whether it's emotional entanglements, competition grievances, property disputes, or personality conflicts, they are all now settled.

8. 房中术、敛财术、摸鱼术、驭人术、厚黑术，以及爱情攻略、撩人技巧、夜夜新郎的感受等，不是本聚会之主要议题。

Techniques in the bedroom, wealth accumulation, slacking off, manipulating people, thick-and-dark arts, as well as love strategies, flirting techniques, and the experiences of new-girlfriend-weekly are not the main topics of this gathering.

9. 在探讨政治制度、风俗习惯、宗教信仰等问题时，请注意求同存异，遵守和平共处N项原则。

When discussing political systems, customs, religious beliefs, etc., please seek common ground while respecting differences,  and please adhere to N principles of peaceful coexistence.

10. 请尊重母校，勿讽刺、挖苦、谩骂老师，勿恶意模仿其语调、口音、手势、外貌和行为特征。

Please respect our alma mater. Do not mock, ridicule, or insult old teachers. Do not maliciously imitate their tone, accent, gestures, appearance, and behavior.

11. 欢迎展示个人绝技，但禁止以少林拳，南拳，北拳，柔道，空手道，跆拳道，散打，拳击，泰拳、摔跤、相扑等形式挑战或比武。

Displaying personal skills is welcome, but challenging or competing in the forms of Shaolin Kung Fu, Southern Fist, Northern Fist, Judo, Karate, Taekwondo, Sanda, Boxing, Muay Thai, Wrestling, Sumo, etc., is strictly prohibited.

12. 吸烟请一律到室外。饮酒请注意分寸。小饮怡情，大饮伤身，强饮灰飞烟灭。

Smoking is strictly limited to outdoors. Please drink alcohol in moderation. A little drinking is enjoyable, and excessive drinking harms the body. If you are shit-faced, you are dead!

13. 聚会费用以平均分摊为基本原则，但请勿斤斤计较至人民币1元以下。

The gathering expenses are based on the principle of equal sharing, but please do not nitpick amounts below ￥1.

【Manually edited from ChapGPT translation.】