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一个富商后代的平凡人生

(2024-06-13 18:20:28) 下一个

2024年父亲节到了,很想讲一些关于我岳父的故事来纪念这位长辈,感谢他养育了一个很好的女儿,成为了我一生的伴侣,改变了我的人生。

岳父是一个极其平凡,忠厚老实,朴实无华的普通工人。通过和岳父的多年相处,这位善良的长辈在我心中留下了深刻美好的印象。今年是他诞辰88周年,瑾以此文纪念这位默默无闻, 几乎已经被人遗忘的人,以表示我对他的尊敬,感谢和怀念。 

岳父个子不高,身体瘦弱,大大的眼睛,闪闪有神,脸上常带微笑。每次到他家去,总是看到他忙上忙下。岳母在厨房里忙着做饭炒菜时,他在旁边默默帮忙,洗菜,擦桌,见事做事,忙个不停。他是一个话语不多,言谈举止非常小心谨慎的人,大家在一起热闹聊天时 ,他常常在一旁微笑着静静聆听,点点头,偶尔简单地插上一两句

我和太太刚谈恋爱时,有一次,我们经过长沙市中心五一广场的一家大绸缎店时,太太告诉我一段有关她祖父的往事。她说这个绸缎店解放前是她祖父的,1949年前夕, 她祖父本来准备移居香港,但是,她祖母不让他去,使他错过社会动荡大变天前逃离的机会。50年代初,他的财产都被新中国政府没收了,只留下一些自住房,而他也被强迫到农村劳动改造。他因为个子矮小,被分派在队里放牛。作为一个从小在城市长大,从来没有干过农活的商人,每次放牛时,他都不敢走在牛的前面,而是拿着牛绳胆怯地跟在牛的后面,紧握着牛绳,生怕牛会跑掉。有一次,牛受惊吓后,开始奔跑,他为了防止牛逃跑,紧紧抓住牛绳不放手,结果被狂奔的牛拖倒在地,拖了很长一段距离,受了重伤,不久后去世。

岳父生长在一个大家庭,有八个兄妹,他是老三。他的弟妹都是文革前受过良好教育的高级知识分子,兄妹关系相处不错,每逢节假日,在城市附近的几家亲戚会相聚在一起热闹一两天。 我和太太结婚后不久,还去参加过在她的一个姑妈家的聚会,兄妹几家亲情气氛十分隆厚,给我留下了特别深刻的印象。 

岳父的大姐住在上海,她们夫妻俩都是生意人。我在上海读研时,有时候周末去她家拜访。姑妈一家都很热情,每次都要留我在那里吃饭。她有三个儿子,老大在深圳办印刷厂,老二是外企的德语翻译,老三是日语翻译。他们都非常友好,健谈,聊天的话题都离不开办企业,出国。八十年代初期,祖国大地正是南下深圳,西去美国的大潮开启阶段。到了上海更是出国热浪逼人。我刚到那里时根本没有出国的想法,在和他们家几个兄弟接触几次后,他们点燃了我心中出国的那把火,开启了我出国留学梦想。姑妈老人家也很健谈,她讲的大多都是她和先生年轻时来上海做生意的往事。那是她们家生意做的很好,她每次到上海都是住在当时最有名的和平饭店,出门坐黄包车,结帐用签单,不用付现金。她说“我是我们家唯一的一个,在年轻时真正享受过我们家财富的人”。

岳父上中学时,不小心摔坏了脚,缀学在家,不久,他开始在父亲店里当徒弟。刚到店里时,有同店的伙计故意把钱放在他很容易拿到的地方,来考验他是不是诚实可靠的伙伴,他非常自律,从来不会被这些钱诱惑。有一次,他到其它店去收钱,那时候货币是银元,他没有注意装钱的布袋底下烂了一个洞,他刚把很多的银元倒进布袋,只听到一阵锭锭锭的声音,银元都从洞里哗啦,哗啦落到地上。他当时非常紧张,赶快把银元一个个从地上捡起来。很幸运,钱没有丢失。

岳父和岳母结婚是一段小的传奇。50年代,岳父已经是一家大药厂的仓库管理员。岳母16岁时,便报名去西藏拉萨支边,在那里闯荡了两年多。因为她家庭出身不好,父亲是前国民党官员的缘故,不能继续在拉萨工作,她又不得不从西藏回到湖南农村老家。不久后,她到药厂做临时工,在参加车间青年团员活动时,认识了当时的车间团支部书记,也就是岳父。最初,岳父的兄妹并不看好他们的关系,都认为双方出身不好,女孩又太漂亮,这样的恋情难以长久。不过,他们还是顶住了压力,一年多后,结为夫妻。在50年代的中国,两个出身不好的年轻人结婚是一件很不容易的事,还真要有一点胆量和勇气来抵御家庭和社会各方面的压力。岳父和岳母是天生的一对。他们当年在长沙海旋门照相馆拍摄的结婚照,作为商店的最佳作品,还被挂放在照相馆的大窗口展示了很长一段时间。

岳父是一个聪明好学的人。他有几十年的药厂仓库管理工作经验,他的化学很好,精通药物原料和药厂的很多配方。他退休前几年就有很多小药厂和他联系,要他退休后帮他们办 药厂。他的珠算也打的很好,大药厂的原料计算数字很大,精度要求高,那时候还没有计算机,他便用两个算盘连成一排来计算原料的用量,这对珠算的技巧,准确度都要求很高。

太太经常提到她小时候的往事。长沙的夏天非常炎热,她父亲有时会用一点维C,加上一杯水,调配出一些非常清凉可口的饮料,喝起来有点像酸梅饮料。有时侯,爸爸对她们姐妹生气唠叨,但是,只要她妈妈一回家,爸爸便会停止唠叨。每次爸爸不高兴时,她们姐妹们便盼着妈妈早一点回家,这样爸爸就不会唠叨了。她上中学时,放学后,她总是呆在学校参加文艺宣传队跳舞,玩乒乓,一直玩到很晚才回家。她的大妹妹每次回家很早,然后开始生火做饭,有时侯不小心把饭烧糊了,爸爸就会责备她妹妹,唠叨她没有把事情做好。生活中有时候很不公平,做事得多的人,挨骂也越多。

太太说她父亲是个观念比较传统的人,心情不好时总是抱怨自己命苦。因为家中没有男孩子,许多体力活都得由父亲一人承担,加之他个子瘦小、身体欠佳,难免感到苦恼。她父亲也是个胆小怕事的人。她家当年住在一个很老旧的房子里,里面很多老鼠。每到夜晚睡觉时,老鼠就出来活动了,在家里跑来跑去,有时候还会爬到他们的蚊帐顶上,床头旁边打架。有一次,岳父没有注意踩到了一只老鼠,只见他吓得一身发抖。

“穷人家的孩子早当家”,太太是家中三个孩子的老大,从小就是一个小管家。她长大后,父亲平时很多事情都会和她商量,要她去办理,还要承担家里的许多体力活。她和父亲的关系非常好,她们总是有很多的话说。她们在同一个单位工作,从家走到单位有十多分钟的路程。在冬天,她怕父亲摔跤,喜欢挽着父亲的胳膊,一起不紧不慢走到办公室。很多同事看见她们,都夸她父亲有福气。她父亲总是很开心,特别享受他和女儿的温馨时刻。有一次,她帮她父亲盖被子后,她悄悄地在他额头上亲了一下,她父亲笑着对她说“耍姑娘”,这是她一生中唯一的一次亲吻她父亲。她二十多岁时,她父亲看到她没有男朋友,到了星期天,他总是在她的背后拍一拍,笑着对她说“星期天休息,你怎么不出去玩啊”?她知道父亲的意思,便对父亲说“哪一天,我有了朋友,就不呆会呆在家了,不要催我出去玩”。

我和太太刚认识不久的一个周末的晚上,我离开她家时已经晚上九点多了。冬天的夜晚,外面一片漆黑。我刚一骑上单车,往下一坐,突然感到座椅是空的。我赶忙下车捡查,发现单车坐椅被别人偷走了。我不得不返回她家,告诉他们单车的坐椅被别人偷走了。岳父听说后很生气,摇摇头说“这里真是一个贼窝啊”。由于时间太晚,已经没有了公交车,我只好留在他们家过夜。接着,我把单车搬到楼上,停放在他们家门口。

岳父家只有两间房,那天晚上,我和岳父睡一个床。他很快就睡着了,接着开始打鼾,他的鼾声越来越大,真是鼾声雷动,我整晚几乎没有入睡。第二天起床后,太太带我到后山去跑步,她问我昨晚睡得好不好,我点点头回答说“睡得还好”。她笑着说“我爸爸打鼾声音很大,三楼的人都可以听到”。我们跑步后刚进家门,岳父告诉我们单车的坐椅找到了。原来,单车坐椅被岳父对面邻居家,厂保卫科长的儿子偷了,听邻居说他家的单车坐椅已经被人偷走了三个。所以,他儿子也想偷一个回来,没想到正好偷了邻居家的,赶快把偷到的坐椅送了过来,真是很尴尬啊。

有一天,我太太要我周末上她家吃饭,那天正好是我的生日,她妈妈准备了一桌丰盛的美食。在八十年代,食品非常贫乏,那样丰盛的美食确实使我这个长期吃食堂的人有点受宠若惊,毕竟我和太太才认识几个月,我也从来没有庆祝过生日。 我太太看到我有点不好意思,她赶忙告诉我她爸爸生日和我的生日只差两天,这是我们一起庆祝你们两个人的生日。她这样的解释倒使我松了一口气,托我岳父的福气,后来,每逢我们生日的那个周末,岳母总是会准备一桌精美可口的湖南菜,摆上几瓶美酒,请一些亲朋好友和我们一起庆祝生日。饭后大家打麻将,聊天,玩得很开心。岳母的厨艺很好,做的菜都是美味可口,特别是她做的蒸腊鱼,腊肉更是我最喜欢的两个老家传统菜。我到美国几十年后,每次回家乡,我都会品赏到岳母做的蒸腊鱼,腊肉,真是爱心难忘。

记得我和太太刚结婚不久,岳父对我说:“你和大妹子结婚真是找对了,她是一个很会当家的人“。岳父说的很对,几十年来,太太一直以井井有条的方式管理着我们的家。特别是在我们刚来美国的前几年,那时候,我们家的收入很少,生活艰难,但是,太太总是每餐都可以为我们做出各种美食。

 

岳父每天晚餐喜欢喝一点点白酒,岳母都会为他准备一些可口的下酒菜,我太太总是喜欢帮老爸夹菜,照顾非常周到。岳父一生都保留了饭后抽一支烟的习惯,虽然他的烟瘾不大,但是至少也是两天抽一包。岳父抽烟后,老是咳嗽,有时咳得满脸通红,家人都劝他把烟戒掉,他总是说没事。戒烟这事说起来容易,做起来很难,对一个抽了一辈子烟的人更是不容易,他尝试过几次戒烟,但是都没有成功。我太太见她父亲戒烟不成,便总是买一些好牌子的烟给他,不要他抽太差的烟。 

岳父没有什么业余爱好。到退休时,他身体开始变得越来越差,心肺功能不好,体力下降,走路喘气不过来,经常吃完饭后坐在沙发上就睡着了。一个周末,我带大女儿去动物园参观,然后,我们一起到了岳父家。那天中午,他独自一人在家,看上去很疲倦,走路也很吃力,我和他一起准备中餐,快吃饭时,他说他到楼下去一下就回来。过了十来分钟,他提着一瓶啤酒,很吃力地从门外走进来。看到这情景,我赶忙说“谢谢您,您太客气了”,他说“没事呐,没事呐”。这事一直铭记在我的心中,使我心存感激,又深感内疚。他病的那样严重,走路都走不动了,还忘不了要去给女婿买一瓶啤酒。十几天以后,也就是1992年12月初,岳父突然心脏病发作,病危住院,两天以后不幸与世长辞,享年61岁。

岳父离开我们已经三十多年了,他是一个非常平凡的人。他那诚恳待人的态度,与世无争的性格,对家人无微不至的关怀永远铭刻在我的心中。每次看到我太太高兴得笑时,我总会对她说”你笑起来和你爸爸一模一样,真可爱“。

English Version

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评论
PingJiangLi 回复 悄悄话 回复 '油翁' 的评论 : 谢谢你的翻译。我的英文翻译不好,所以,每次我都是用chatGpt,它翻的英文比我的好太多了,时态都可以翻出来。
油翁 回复 悄悄话 不好意思。文章太好,我不小心當了一回翻譯,請刪去無妨。
油翁 回复 悄悄话 Father's Day in 2024 has arrived, and I want to share some stories about my father-in-law to commemorate this elder, thank him for raising a wonderful daughter who has become my lifelong companion, and changed my life.

My father-in-law is an extremely ordinary, honest, and humble common worker. Through years of being with my father-in-law, this kind elder has left a profound and positive impression in my heart. This year marks his 88th birthday, and I write this to honor this forgotten figure and express my respect, gratitude, and remembrance towards him.

My father-in-law is not tall, with a slender body, big bright eyes, always smiling. Every time I visit his home, I see him busy with various tasks. While my mother-in-law is busy cooking in the kitchen, he helps out quietly by washing vegetables, wiping the table, attending to chores diligently. He is a man of few words, always listening attentively during lively conversations, occasionally interjecting a simple sentence or two with a smile.

My father-in-law grew up in a large family, with eight siblings, being the third eldest. His siblings are all well-educated senior intellectuals before the Cultural Revolution, and their relationships are harmonious, gathering together during holidays at several relatives' homes near the city. Soon after my wife and I got married, we also attended a gathering at her aunt's house, where the familial atmosphere left a deep impression on me.

My father-in-law's eldest sister lives in Shanghai, where she and her husband are businessmen. When I was studying in Shanghai, I sometimes visited her home on weekends. Their family was very warm and welcoming, and I remember being impressed by their conversations about running businesses and going abroad. This exposure kindled my desire to study abroad, a dream that I pursued later on.

During my wife's childhood, her grandfather told her stories about the family history. He had a silk store on the May Day Square in downtown Changsha, which was taken away in the early 1950s. Despite his intention to move to Hong Kong, his wife's reluctance caused him to miss the opportunity to escape the societal upheaval. After his property was confiscated, he was sent to labor reform in the countryside, where he passed away due to an injury from being dragged by a cow at work.

Father-in-law's height, he apprenticed in his father's shop after accidentally breaking his foot in secondary school. He showed honesty and reliability by passing tests set up by fellow shop assistants. Despite facing challenges, like a bag with a hole causing coins to fall out, he maintained integrity. His dedication and hard work earned respect among peers.

Father-in-law and mother-in-law's marriage was a tale of patience and courage. Despite societal pressures due to their backgrounds and a lack of physical support, they prevailed and tied the knot. Their marriage endured through hardship, a testament to their love and commitment to each other.

Father-in-law was a savvy and dedicated worker, excelling in managing a pharmaceutical warehouse. His expertise in chemistry and mathematics served him well throughout his career, earning the respect of his peers. His retirement years saw him getting offers from small pharmaceutical companies to assist them post-retirement, a testament to his skills and reputation.

Father-in-law was a man of simple pleasures, enjoying a glass of white wine with appetizers every evening. While his habit of smoking caused discomfort, his daughter would buy him high-quality cigarettes, accompanying his post-dinner routine. His struggles to quit smoking showcased his resilience and his daughter's unwavering support.

Despite his declining health in his later years, father-in-law remained selfless and caring towards his family. His small gestures, like buying a beer for a visiting son-in-law, demonstrated his kindness and consideration. His sudden passing due to a heart attack left a void in our family, but his memories and legacy continue to inspire and shape our lives.

Three decades have passed since father-in-law's departure, yet his genuine character, humble demeanor, and unwavering love for his family remain etched in our hearts. His influence on my wife's upbringing and my own life will always be cherished and remembered. As I see my wife's resemblance to her father when she smiles, I can't help but remark, "You look just like your dad when you smile - it's adorable."
timex2 回复 悄悄话 美好的一家人,真情实感,写的很感人。
goingplace 回复 悄悄话 你也是个善良的人,这么多年过去了,你记得你岳父对你的好。
PingJiangLi 回复 悄悄话 回复 '菲儿天地' 的评论 : 谢谢鼓励!
PingJiangLi 回复 悄悄话 回复 '混迹花草中的灰蘑菇' 的评论 : 谢谢蘑菇的鼓励。
菲儿天地 回复 悄悄话 回复 '混迹花草中的灰蘑菇' 的评论 : +1

写得真好,感情真挚,很棒的父亲节纪念文。文里还读到很多亲情的描述,真实,感人。。。
混迹花草中的灰蘑菇 回复 悄悄话 喜欢李兄以平实的文字和生活细节来纪念岳父,有一种轻言细语娓娓道来的氛围感,感觉得到那份真情实意。“你笑起来和你爸爸一模一样,真可爱“,好有爱:)
混迹花草中的灰蘑菇 回复 悄悄话 还说先在老乡家坐个沙发呢,板凳吧:)
红泥小火炉2022 回复 悄悄话 写的非常感人!拜读了!
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