己所欲，也勿施于人

己所欲，也勿施於人

Do Not Impose What You Desire Upon Others

我们都有这样的经历：常把自己喜欢的东西推荐给别人，认为别人也一定喜欢。

We all have such experiences: we tend to recommend what we like to others, assuming they must

like it too.

我们爱吃火锅，就理所当然地以为别人也爱吃；其实，不少人并不习惯与人共食一

锅。

We love hot pot and naturally assume others do as well; yet many people feel uneasy sharing one

pot with others.

欺骗过别人的人，总怀疑别人也在欺骗他；信奉礼尚往来的人，也总以为别人必会

同样回报。

Those who have deceived others often suspect others of deception; those who believe in reciprocity

assume others will always return the favor.

心理学称这种“己所欲，强加于人”的现象为投射效应——即人们往往站在自己的

角度，想当然地认为别人也会作出与自己相同的反应、选择或行为。

Psychology calls this phenomenon “projection”—the tendency to assume that others will think,

feel, and act as we do.

《庄子》中有一个寓意深刻的故事：尧巡视华山，华封人祝他“长寿、富贵、多男

子”，尧都辞谢了。封人问：“寿、福、多男子，人之所欲也；汝独能不欲，何也

？”尧答道：“多男子则多惧，富则多事，寿则多辱。是三者，非所以为美德也，

故辞。”

There is a story in Zhuangzi: When Emperor Yao visited Mount Hua, a hermit blessed him with

“long life, wealth, and many sons.” Yao declined. The hermit asked, “Long life, riches, and

many sons—are these not what all men desire? Why do you refuse them?” Yao replied, “Many

sons bring many worries; wealth invites many troubles; longevity adds many shames. These are not

the marks of virtue—therefore I decline.”

我们常说“己所不欲，勿施于人”，这固然是为人处世的准则。然而，即使“己所

欲”，也不宜轻易“施于人”。

We often say, “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you.” Yet even

what we do desire should not be easily imposed upon others.

人的年龄不同，经历不同，心理特征亦各异。即便是“福、寿、多子多孙”这样的

好事，也未必人人渴望。

People differ in age, experience, and temperament. Even blessings such as longevity, wealth, or

many descendants may not be everyone’s wish.个人都是独立的个体。

Each of us is an independent being.

我想，未必他人所想；我为，未必他人所为。

What I think may not be what others think; what I do may not be what others do.

Never think or act as though others would think or act the same way.

Never think or act as though others would think or act the same way.