Jolene22

心想事成,不等于一帆风顺。当你跌倒时,千万不能怀疑自己.
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To Unlimited18 -女儿可能有忧郁症,焦虑症,强迫症

(2017-03-29 06:20:57) 下一个

Sorry I don't have Chinese on my working computer.

Girls at this age are difficult. My older daughter used to be very moody and cried a lot. She is 22 now and recently remind me that I used to call her "monster" when she was in high school. They behave this way because:

  • Lack of Confidence – Girls compare themselves to movie stars and always find faults with their body and appearance.
  • School is too stressful – High school is the worst. Geting B is fine.
  • Kids are selfish at this age – High school kids are self-centered and cruel. They compete and hurt each others. At the same time, they can't live without each other. Only very few friends are true friends. The good news is that they will grow up once in college. They will understand that to make lasting friendship they have to invest time and effort to nourish the relationship, and be there for each other. 

Few things I learned from my older daughter's interactions with her little sister:

  • Don't panic and act as normal as possible. You and your home are the rock for your daughter. She is supposed to de-stress nd unwind once home. Don't add more presseure to her. Make sure home is full of love and warmth.
  • Don't be judgmental and hold your tongue – Yes the shirt is too short and she does not need makeup. But these things will not have significant impact on her grades or the person she is. Let her have the freedom to express herself. Maybe help her pick up some tasty outfits and take her to makeup artists to learn some tricks.
  • Be her friend – Ask her about school, friends, boys, music, and things she is passinate about. Don't make mean comments and hopefully she will open up to you.
  • Friends are everything at this age - She needs to have friends. Help her reconnect with her best friends or make some new friends. Invite her friends to your house and offer to drive them to places.
  • You can indirectly influence her by telling stories about making and keeping friends, caring about others, and being generous about your time and effort when in need.
  • Seeing a psychiatrist is helpful - The doctor will teach her how to deal with problems by focusing on the most important aspects of her life. Medical record is private and nobody except your family and the doctor will know. 
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