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成功和失败乃是过眼云烟 —读林书豪脸书上的一封公开信

(2015-12-22 01:36:54) 下一个

成功和失败乃是过眼云烟
读林书豪脸书上回应“矽谷自杀问题
的一封公开信

(图片来自于网上)


在人们的刻板印象中,亚裔在美国的主流社会和文化中很难占有一席之地。也许我们可以在大学做科研当教授;不妨培养情操弹钢琴、拉小提琴;或是周末带着孩子到处补课;也可以开餐馆,卖补药。 但是打篮球这种具有博击美国精神的玩意儿跟我们华人似乎没有任何干系。一个“林来疯”地道的华裔家庭长大的孩子不仅从名校哈佛毕业了而且打进了美国NBA职业篮球联盟,瞬间颠覆了多少人的正常思维,打碎了这块刻板印象的魔镜。

早些年自己和大家一样在Facebook上追着"林来疯" 热情高涨不下, 今天NBA夏洛特黄蜂后卫林书豪针对美国一个著名杂志《大西洋月刊》本月号的“矽谷自杀问题”专文,发表了令人深思感想—揭开了他从小生长的北加就读的巴罗艾托高中(Palo Alto High School)位于矽谷这个电脑王国有多少自杀的倾向及为什么自杀?他的文章及后面的跟读都是这样发人深省。传奇人物当他们去世后,他们的事迹被一次两次的拍成电影。光是乔布斯,在短短的几年内就有两个电影讲他的故事。如果他们的生活真的是这么的舒坦,如果他们真的是这么高的收入住在这么漂亮的豪宅里公司还提供三餐,帮你打扫房子,为什么还会有人要自杀呢?林书豪应对学业压力以及大学毕业之后到了职业篮球联盟来之职业方面的压力 ,他给了我们自己当时最深切的感受。

亚裔家庭过度重视孩子学习成绩,学子们也深怕自己成绩不够理想让父母失望。林书豪在巴罗艾托这样一所有名的高中(Palo Alto High School)自己有被课业压力追得喘不过气的经验。他写道:“读高中时,非成功不可的压力,我再清楚不过。”“我每天都想着,每一份回家作业、每一个项目、每一次考试都可能带来不同的未来,决定我会读好大学或是平凡的大学,决定我会成功或失败,决定人生幸福或悲惨。”在硅谷这样一个优秀的高中里比一般的学校竞争更激烈、残酷,他常常因晚上噩梦而浑身大汗地惊醒,梦到:考试没有通过。尽管他是这样的出色,学习成绩一直是这样的好。那时,他只考虑三件事:GPA、SAT分数和读什么大学。每到周日晚上就要陷入无比痛苦,周末开心的他喜欢的篮球训练比赛结束了,周一肉入强食的虎口折磨又要开始了 。他目睹一年中同桌和友人先后自杀,使陷入困境的同理心有强烈倾吐心声的愿望。

林书豪曾经也相信分数就是一切,但随着年岁渐长,才懂得成功要由自己来定义,也终于放下心头的重担。“高中一年年过去,我了解到虽然有成功的压力,我还是得做出个人选择,自己定义我的成功和成就。我从兄弟、牧师和朋友那里了解我是谁,我的价值在哪里,而不只是我的分数。”虔诚的林书豪也从不回避宗教信仰对他的全部支托。

他在巴罗艾托高中担任得分后卫,但NCAA第一级分区的学校没有提供给他任何体育奖学金。没有体育奖学金的哈佛大学助理教练霍登(Bill Holden)一开始只评价他"和其他一般般的高中球员一样",要他考虑分区第三级分区。霍登直到在业余大西洋联盟赛事碰巧看到林书豪比赛,才看见他的潜能。

林书豪从小就习惯外人用有色眼镜看他,多年来已经习惯了。他在接受勇士官网采访时说:“这反倒是我的优势,我乐于当Underdog(被小看的人)。”林书豪在哈佛大学篮球队表现得很好,打破了常春藤盟校的成绩,但2010毕业后在NBA选秀会成了遗珠。林书豪自己的NBA路也是一波三折。2012年他带领纽约尼克打出一波“林来疯”连胜潮,轰动全美,林书豪做到了我们原以为绝对不可能的事情。现在他一次次地被交换转队,作为NBA职业球员,他很可能一辈子都不会有戴上冠军戒指的荣耀。林书豪比我们谁都清楚地意识到这一点,也许他无法再创十五分钟的辉煌(15分钟定律是美国艺术家安迪·沃霍尔做出的预言:每个人都能在15分钟内出名)

林书豪说,他在生命的每个阶段,都要重新上这一课:
“这个世界总是要你完成更多、做更多、更成功。我进哈佛之后,还是有得到好成绩、在哈佛出人头地的压力。林来疯之后,还是有每场比赛都拿出好表现、入选明星对抗赛、赢得总冠军的压力。我还是胸怀大志,做每件事都全力以赴,但我知道成功和失败都转眼即逝。”

这就是一个明智人的素质;一个优秀运动员同时拥有冷静的特质;一个经历过成功和失败人的感悟。

成功道路很狭,负载很重; 
拥有精彩很短,岁月难逮;
生活红尘若梦,沧海桑田;
人生不尽完美,尽量简单;


原文:

Jeremy Lin 

12月8日下午 8:05 · 
As someone who was raised in the Bay Area, I've always taken great pride in being from Palo Alto - the greatest city in the world, as far as I’m concerned. Like many others, I read "The Silicon Valley Suicides" in this month’s Atlantic and it led me to reflect on my own experience at Palo Alto High School.
http://theatln.tc/1NY7nlK
The pressure to succeed in high school is all too familiar to me. I distinctly remember being a freshman in high school, overwhelmed by the belief that my GPA over the next four years would make or break my life. My daily thought process was that every homework assignment, every project, every test could be the difference. The difference between a great college and a mediocre college. The difference between success and failure. The difference between happiness and misery.
I remember not being able to sleep well on Sunday nights, waking up covered in sweat from nightmares that I had just failed a test. I dreaded Sundays because it meant I just finished my weekend basketball tournament - my precious outlet from academics - and now faced a whole week of immense pressure at school. I felt the pressure coming from all around me - my parents, my peers and worst of all, myself. I felt that I had one shot at high school and that my GPA, SAT score and college applications were the only barometers of my success.
One day, I remember attending a panel discussion where a college student was asked, "What is your biggest regret from high school?" Expecting to hear about opportunities missed or paths not taken, I was surprised when the student replied, "My biggest regret is not enjoying high school more and thinking that my grades and test scores mattered so much. In fact, I don’t even remember what I scored on the SATs." I had filled out more Princeton Review practice test Scantrons than I could count and one day, I wouldn’t even remember my SAT score?!?
As each year of high school passed by, I realized that even though there was pressure to be great, I had to make a personal choice not to define myself by my success and accomplishments. I learned through my brother, my pastor and my friends that my identity and my worth were in more than my grades. Growing up my parents always said, "Do your best and trust God with the results." When I learned to truly understand what that meant, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Separating myself from my results is not an easy lesson and I’ve had to relearn this in every stage of my life. The world will always need you to accomplish more, do more, succeed more. After I got into Harvard there was the pressure to get good grades and stand out at Harvard. After Linsanity there was the pressure to have great performances every night, to become an All-Star, to win championships. I still dream big and give my all in everything I do, but I know that success and failure are both fleeting.
When I was a freshman at Palo Alto High, a classmate who sat next to me committed suicide. I remember having difficulty registering what had happened. A year later, a friend committed suicide. I saw up close the pain and devastation of their loved ones and in my community. I realized then that there are so many burdens we don’t see the people around us carrying. I told myself that I would try to be more sensitive and open to other people's struggles.
We may not have the answers to how to completely solve these issues, but we can take more time to really listen to each other, to reach out and have compassion on one another. I don’t have any great insight and I don’t know exactly what it’s like to be a high school student today. I do know that I’m proud to be from Palo Alto, a resilient community that I see striving to learn how to better support and care for each other. I hope that my personal experience can remind someone else that they are worth so much more than their accomplishments.


林书豪脸书贴文的译文:

我在湾区长大,向来对全世界最棒的城市巴罗艾托深感骄傲。我和许多人一样,读了《大西洋月刊》本月号的"矽谷自杀问题"专文,让我开始反思自己就读巴罗艾托高中时的经验。

读高中时那非成功不可的压力,我再熟悉不过了。我清楚记得刚进高中时,脑中塞满了未来4年GPA使我的生活不堪重负。我每天都想着,每一份回家作业、每一个项目、每一次考试所产生的差异,决定我会读好大学或是平凡的大学,决定我会成功或失败,决定人生幸福或悲惨。

我记得星期天的夜晚常常睡不好,因为梦到考试不及格,大汗淋漓地惊醒。我很怕星期天,因为星期天代表我周末的篮球赛时光结束了──我很珍惜这个逃离课业的出口──接下来我一整周都得在学校面对密集的压力。我感觉到压力从四面八方而来──父母、同伴、而最糟糕的是压力也来自我自己。我觉得我在高中只有一次机会,GPA、SAT分数和大学申请结果是衡量成功的唯一指标。

我记得,有一天我参加小组讨论,有人问一名大学生,"你在高中最后悔的是什么事?"我预期会听到他错失了哪些机会或道路,他却出乎意料回答,"我最遗憾的就是没有更享受高中生活,太过重视我的分数和考试成绩。其实我什至不记得SAT考几分"。我写过的模考题多到连自己都算不清,有一天我竟然会连自己的SAT分数都不记得? !

随着高中生活一年一年过去,我了解到虽然有成功的压力,我还是得做出个人选择,自己定义我的成功和成就。我从兄弟、牧师和朋友那里了解我是谁,我的价值在哪里,多过我的分数。从小到大,父母总是说,"尽力而为,相信上帝的安排"。当我真正了解这句话的意义时,才终于除掉肩上的重担。

把自己跟成绩分开来,并不是容易的事,我在人生每个阶段都要重新学到这一课。这个世界总是要你完成更多、做更多、更成功。进入哈佛后,还是有要取得好成绩、在哈佛出人头地的压力。林来疯之后,还是有每场比赛都拿出好表现、入选明星对抗赛、赢得总冠军的压力。我还是胸怀大志,做每件事都全力以赴,但我知道成功和失败都转眼即逝。

当我还是巴罗艾托高中一年级生的时候,我的同桌自杀了。我记得当时很难意会过来,究竟发生了什么事。一年后,一个朋友自杀,我体会了亲人们的切肤之痛和社区满目疮痍。接着我了解到,我们周围的人背负了许多看不见的重担。我告诉自己,我要试着以更加体贴、开放的态度来面对他人的困难。

我们或许不知道该怎么彻底解决这些问题,但我们可以花更多时间来真正倾听彼此的想法,向他人伸手、表达同理心。我没有什么很棒的真知灼见,也不是很清楚现在的高中生怎么过日子。我知道我对巴罗艾托很自豪,这是个韧性非凡的社区,大家都努力在学习对彼此付出更多关怀、照顾。我希望我的个人经验可以提醒其他人,他们的价值远远不是成绩能够相比拟的。

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