对家暴说不
普及关于家暴的心理以及法律知识，澄清家暴的心理与法律误区，帮助受家暴荼毒的姐妹，推动国内关于家暴的立法。
正文
翻译：御树林枫
作为证据，你应当把能帮助你呈示家庭暴力发生过的任何东西和任何人带到法庭上。也许是听见你呼叫求助，看见你在流血或是你有青肿的邻居，朋友或亲戚。如果你有医生或医院治伤的医疗证明，你应当带上。 警方报告也是重要证据。
能显示青肿或其他可视伤痕的相片（伤处可以特写， 但至少一张要有你的脸—译者注）也是最有力证据之一。有些地区，警察会带着一个相机；或急诊室工作人员也能照相。在身体伤害几天后再照相片也是好主意，因为青肿要过几天显示。如有可能，相片上最好有日期。
证人对于你的案子很重要，但是最重要的是你对法官说什么。事先准备你要说的内容；把这些内容写下来是个好方法。要做一个关于你希望法庭为你做什么和保护令上要包括什么的清单。这个清单应该包括你所需要的能帮助你停止暴力和使你安全的事项。同时法官可以帮你做的事情有：
• 通告施暴者离开和远离你的家、你的工作、你的朋友或亲戚。
• 指示施暴者不能通过电话、信件或通过其他人传话来接触你。
• 命令施暴者远离孩子和照看孩子的人、幼儿园或学校。
• 要求警察陪你回家拿个人用品。
• 决定有关抚养权、探访和子女抚养费的议项。
• 命令施暴者支付有关虐待的费用如医护、财产损失等等。
• 决定有关特定财产的分割的议项。
法官也可以命令施暴者去进行打人者介入调停计划（Batterers Intervention Program）和/或酒精或毒品治疗。然而，即使他停止喝酒或用毒品，这不意味着施虐就会停止。即使他同意去得到有关帮助，你仍应要求拥有保护令。
准备解释为什么你需要各种你想得到的支援。如果你要求施暴者支付你的费用，带着账单、收据或其他显示这些费用的证明。
听证会当天你一定要出庭。你到场，法官才能发给你保护令。如果你没出现，法官会撤消案子，你就要重新开始。如果你有原因以至你在听证会当天不能出庭，马上给法院文员打电话并且作出解释。要求案例持续（CONTINUANCE）并且解释为什么你需要案例持续。听证会将会定在另一天。
Getting The Evidence Together
http://www.domesticviolence.com/evidence.html
As evidence, you should bring to court whatever and whomever can help you show that the violence took place. Maybe a neighbor, a friend or relative heard you call for help or saw that you were bleeding or bruised. If you have medical records from a doctor or hospital that treated your injuries, you should bring them. A police report can also be important evidence.
One of the strongest pieces of evidence you can have is a photo of yourself that shows bruises or other visible injuries. In some areas, the police carry instant cameras and will take a picture of your injuries, or someone working in an emergency room can take a picture. It's a good idea to have pictures taken again a few days after a physical assault as it sometimes takes a while for bruises to show up. If possible, it is best to get film that has a date on it.
While witnesses strengthen your case, the most important evidence is what you tell the judge. Going over what you plan to say ahead of time and writing it down is a good way to prepare. Make a list of things you would like the court to do for you and specifically ask the judge to include those things in the Order of Protection. The list should include things you need to help stop the violence and make you safe. Among other things the judge can:
• Tell the abuser to leave and stay away from your home, your job, your family or friends;
• Direct the abuser to have no contact with you meaning no phone calls, letters or messages through other people;
• Order the abuser to stay away from the children, their baby-sitter, day care or schools;
• Require the police to accompany you into your home to retrieve personal belongings;
• Decide issues related to custody, visitation and child support;
• Order your abuser to pay for expenses related to the abuse such as medical care, property damage, etc;
• Decide issues related to dividing up certain kinds of personal property.
The judge can also order your partner to go to a Batterers Intervention Program and/or to alcohol or drug treatment, However, even if he stops drinking or using drugs or goes to a batterers program, it doesn't necessarily mean that the abuse will stop. Even if he agrees to get help, you may still want to have an Order of Protection.
Be prepared to explain why you need each type of relief you want. If you are asking that your abuser pay for your expenses, bring bills, receipts or other proof to show what these expenses were.
YOU MUST APPEAR IN COURT ON THE DATE SET FOR THE HEARING. The judge cannot issue an Order of Protection unless you are there. It you don't show up, he or she may dismiss the case and you would have to start all over again. If there is a reason that you can't come to court on the hearing date, call the clerk right away and explain. Ask for a CONTINUANCE and explain why you need it. The hearing will be set for another date.
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相关文章链接
尊严这东西 怎能因为环境的改变而丧失？
“对家暴说不”群组链接【遭遇家暴的姐妹们，以及反家暴自愿人士，例如社会工作者（SOCIAL WORKERS），律师，妇联干部、人大代表或者你们认识这样的人，请自荐或者向她们推荐我们的群组和博客，期待你们加入此组，与我们一起并肩工作。请点击此处申请入组。】请认准原创防伪图标（如下图红色底板黑色字体的“对家暴说不”题图），以及查对核实此群组管理员名单（汉代蜜瓜，寻ME，老姐，花雨101，Youshijie，随意了，piao11，小泥山......等）。谢谢！
点击图标即可申请！
你问了个好问题，真的。
冷暴力是一种感情虐待：不同于肢体暴力，取证难，界定难，定性更难。我查阅了些资料，还没有很满意的答案。很感谢你提示了一个努力方向。
从我目前掌握的资料来说，可以有以下方案：
首先，建议去看医生，把感受告诉他/她。如果医生做了记录，并且推荐去咨询（counseling）等，这可以作为证据。如果给National Domestic Violence Helpline （1-800-799-SAVE）打了电话, 并且允许电话录音，录音包含如何被配偶的行为所影响，这也能称作证据。可以通过给热线经理（helpline manager）写信来获取这些记录---但是电话记录只保存一年。我的博客里有全美加Local家暴热线（避难所）的汇总网页。
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201107&postID=24490
开始把所经历的感情虐待记录下来也许有用。记下时间和日期，说了什么，他/她伤害了你什么，是否有其他人在场。保留带虐待性质的文字短信（abusive text messages），电子邮件或语音短信（voicemail messages）；因为当和律师讨论时，这些信息会真正有帮助。
如果其他人看见任何感情虐待，那么他们的证词也会被用到。
另外一些资料表明录音、录像证据已被法院认可—这还需根据当地法律进一步确认。
我一般要找到8篇以上“合格”资料，才敢写些东西贴到群组来，或者选一篇转载或翻译。以上信息根据我现有的有限相关资料翻译、整理而来。不做权威发言，仅供参考。希望有用。
也希望有相关知识和资料的网友通过悄悄话或留言的方式，对我们给予支持。 谢谢。
youli，再次感谢你的评论。
飘姐姐过奖了。能为深受家暴荼毒的受害者提供一些信息，为反家暴尽一份绵力，实属荣幸；这也是我的社会责任和义务。
法庭不是去讲理的地方，是去摆证据的地方。拿证据说话，这是司法公正性的体现。
既然去法庭了，那就得为自己和孩子争取多一些利益，证据是法官依法执法的依据，这些平常不在意的“人、物证”等，一旦呈上法庭，很大程度上就是赢得官司的关键。
再谢林妹妹。