【诗歌的译写】 -Yixie and translation

【译写】 -Yixie and translation
Notes, from reading a Chinese poem.

【诗歌欣赏】

---

People are scrambling with the notion whether or not poems are transferable from one language to another. Surely, as English is still the dominant language internationally, this topic is basically under discussion for people who still consider themselves language learners. It is same to a nation.

If poems are some times defined as the soul of literature, then should we be more careful in translating them in another language. Some people, like my self, are too eager to try the conveying jobs, which requires a great deal of trainings. It seemed sometimes they were too much influenced by the ideas inspired by the material they are working on, or mixing in too much of thoughts of own that makes the work being transferred hard to recognize.

Yixie，" 译写“ as discussed with one friend of mine online is not loyal translation!  For a large part of it is done with whose own words. To be honesty, I am guilty for being among one of them. In Chinese, they call what they have done "Yi-Xie" -write their own words while doing the translating, -which means "translation takes small portion of the original works, however, the basic ideas, feelings, and imagery are generated or even copied from the original author.

It is still called translated, maybe only for the thinking follows the same direction of the original author...But is it good translation? Myself cast a lot of doubts on what they've done. 
Here, another example of this.

前言：
。。。诗人是语言提炼的大师，他们并不简单堆砌词汇,造美丽的墙，而是用想像的手，拉着你去看他们所看到的，观察到的生活和景物： 第一句：”一个人爱过，痛过，挣扎过踏万水千山苦苦寻来眼神热烈 又寂寞，“ -这就是诗的刻画，我仿佛立刻被推到了一幅人物的肖像面前，努力开始自己审美，思维和情感，甚至生活中的记忆，开始全部参与进来，。。。我想每一个，认真阅读的人，是否都会这样的想着，读着。

一语，2009 08

---

图片提供：安静

---

原创链接： 你还好吗？ - 文学城: 热点论坛 web.wenxuecity.com
Authored by Hongxiu Wenxue city Chinagate,
原创 红袖

”你还好吧“！

当一个人
爱过，痛过，挣扎过
踏万水千山苦苦寻来
眼神热烈 又寂寞，问：
你还好吗？
请你一定
认真地，诚实地告诉他：
我很好！或者
我不好！

不过，无论你选择怎样的回答
此时他的心都已经
毫无选择地碎了。。。

所以我没有勇气跑去问
你还好吗？
因为我承受不起任何一种回答

于是，我自暴自弃
每当喉咙哽塞
思念澎湃难息
会去一个寂寥的湖边
轻声地，一遍又一遍地问
你还好吗?
你还好吗？
。。。

不是试图呼唤
只是想让清幽的回声
苍凉地追逐
飞翔的野鹤

---

A place called water-down

Some times easy, some times hard to inquire;
"how's everything?" so normal, plain, but heavy to start,
a question mark at a time, to a man of everyday,
suffered, loved, hungered, or traveled some miles,
"good, or no," a sincere voice, n' a honest smile,

Without a choice，or choose with all sorts,
a reply, Yet, hard to tell some thousand miles,
rocks he climbed, seas of rough tides!
No tears you see but winkles near his eyes，
of a man with strong body but a broken heart.

So, I laid down my pen and papers torn to the ground,
Not a word or a line inked but an empty mind,  at
a lake-place, called water-down, whispers heard within,
the questions all gone,

The answers are in the winds, blowing at
a place called water-down, as I caught his eyes a first look with smile
as a rock in the mountain behind,
words freeze on my lips, never dare to ask.

So, I let go my  heart, turn the sad music on,
watching out for the summer clouds,
and August rains keep falling down,
a place called water-down whisperings as waves rushed ashore,


Rain-storm cleared, Rainbows appeared
Horses run, and eagles fly,
Home town afar,still five hundred miles.

A five hundred times, I whispered,
Taste a bitter salty the Bud-light
a place called water-down, soft memories, and room so quiet,
"It's gonna be alright，... alright"

Neither to ask, nor inquire,
Please, drop the question mark,
at a place called water-down, but echoes in the air, so sweet,
Raindrops cold in this August,
summer birds fly high and wild.  

湖边
译写

---

---

Review：

当一个人爱过，痛过，挣扎过踏万水千山苦苦寻来眼神热烈 又寂寞，问： 你还好吗？请你一定认真地，诚实地告诉他：我很好！或者我不好！
不过，无论你选择怎样的回答, 此时他的心都已经毫无选择地碎了。。。 所以我没有勇气跑去问, 你还好吗？因为我承受不起任何一种回答
于是，我自暴自弃, 每当喉咙哽塞, 思念澎湃难息 会去一个寂寥的湖边 轻声地，一遍又一遍地问, 你还好吗? 你还好吗？。。。
不是试图呼唤, 只是想让清幽的回声, 苍凉地追逐, 飞翔的野鹤