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“古句译探”

(2009-07-14 16:48:11) 下一个

* 今日湖上阳光明媚,群帆点点,鸥翔蓝天;美语坛有贴证古句英译,小战士曾受德利君指点,有“三步译诗妙法” 果然,今日战机不容错过,略略一想,句上心来,记之,祥与美语,诗坛众友

"露从今夜白,月是故乡明"
古句英译初探,回忆“德利三步法”

Courtesy Link : http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=18339


"露从今夜白,月是故乡明"
古句初探,运用“德利三步法” 思吾友 德利 李唐 两君


Sentences:

01:现有白话句:
Look, the morning dew so clean and white, formed through night,
the moon hung high up tonight, reminds me the home moonlight.

02 初稿:
"Stars falling from sky high become the morning dew, brightens tonight D' moonlight home"

03调整音节音律及韵:成如下句:(就是长了点)

  1. "Twilight fall from sky, tonight, morning dew clean n' white, silver shines in home soft moonlight." -First
  2. "Twilight fall from sky, tonight, morning dew clean n' white, soft moon home, shines with delight."-Optional
  3. "Twilight falls tonight, morning dew white, soft moon home, shines with delight."-
    Concise

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一语译



July 14, 2009

一语湖边
2009 七月 湖边



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一语湖边_lakeshore 回复 悄悄话 但据另外的帖子:here,the “露”做节气“白露”解,特记!
一语湖边_lakeshore 回复 悄悄话 露从今夜白”说明了当时的时令实在白露,同时又给作者一种凄凉,寒意之感,意思是“叶上的白露从今夜开始,才发现是白的”,

“而天上的月亮还是故乡的比较明亮”(这一句尤其关键,明明是同一轮明月,而作者却固执地认为故乡的比较白,更令得读者体会到他的思乡情节)

The morning dew becomes frost since tonight;
White like the moon over my home, always bright

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