湖边小雷-lakeshore
Readings & Translations
汉诗英译,徐志摩诗 一首试译 ( 续 )
A Chinese modern poem, 《我等候你》 by Xu, Zhi-Muo, (try to match the verse, …. )
徐志摩的情诗是他爱情生活的留痕 , 《我等候你》是他对陆小曼痴情的见证。 Love poetry mirrors poet's love in life. " I will wait for you, or I want you so" sang evidently his deepest love to the Lady -Lu Xiao Man.
这首诗不仅体现了徐志摩的爱情观、生活观 , 即追求爱、自由与美 ; 也体现了他的艺术观 , 即诗歌的目的不是表现政治理想 , 而是抒发内心情感。 The poem reflects not only the love he held, his belief, his dreaming for love, freedom and beauty but also his artistic view: poetry expresses no ideals of ideologies, but the emotions and feelings from the deepened-inside.
这首诗按情感的自然流动分行 , 不讲究压韵和格式的整齐 , 具有浓厚的散文风格 , 同时兼具绘画美与音乐美 , 被认为是他最好的一首抒情诗之一 . Readers see the beauty of his poem from its aesthetic value depicted with unique style that flow so naturally, elegantly, and smoothly with his innate passion, which leads him obeying no formalities and rules in general. The essay-like style amazed numerous readers and many alike. This particular romantic poem, among his admirers home and abroad, was considered his best.
( 续 译自上文: 北美文学城 丽人博客 璐娜 )
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=200801&postID=41538
我等候你 , by 徐志摩
( 一语习译）
我等候你
Waiting, with my soul ( I wait for you?)
我望着窗外的昏黄
Looking, out of window, sunset, yellow
如同望着将来
Longing, was I, as if for the fate to be told
我的心震盲了我的听
Yet, I could feel, only from my heart,
the vibrancy, it's echo
你怎还不来
Or was that your voice, (steps?) quite n slow
希望在每一秒钟上允许开花
In mere seconds, let all (it?) bloom, bold
我守候着你的步履
Waiting, was me n my soul
你的笑语你的脸
I vision thy face tender as spring's rose
(fresh?) (in springtime?)
你的柔软的发丝
Smiles in thy eyes, your hair in my fingers,
I hold (smell rose?)
Curly n' softly, O le' amour
守候着你的一切
You and me, Soul to soul, (two, in soul?)
in whole ( a world )
希望在每一秒钟上
枯死 ── 你在哪里？
The time's hands hang my dreams n hope
aimlessly in sadness n dry
Round and round points nowhere.
I will wait for you,
我要你，要得我心里生痛，
我要你火焰似的笑，
要你灵活的腰身，
你的发上眼角的飞星；
我陷落在迷醉的氛围中，
像一座岛，
在蟒绿的海涛间，不自主的在浮沉 ……
It's burning, it's the fire,
In my heart, there is hole, I want you so
In your eye, there is smile, I want you so
Like the stars in the night n fly
Your figures and voice, that I adore,
in dances and singing, n in all
A lone island, in the deepest green, waves flow
my heart, locked by, and in the lakes I hide
喔，我迫切的想望
你的来临，想望
那一朵神奇的优昙
开上时间的顶尖！
你为什么不来，忍心的！
你明知道，我知道你知道，
你这不来于我是致命的一击，
打死我生命中乍放的阳春，
教坚实如矿里的铁的黑暗，
压迫我的思想与呼吸；
Oh, I will wait for you, I want you so,
It's urgent, and it's my only hope
It's not a cloud, normal, No,
It's beyond the time or mortal,
but an unknown, like a miracle
You knew, I want you so
I know you knew, I want you so
You will come, in dream,
Like sunrises to be covered by a joke
If not so, my heart and soul, as though
to be canned, shipped, and sold
打死可怜的希冀的嫩芽，
把我，囚犯似的，交付给
妒与愁苦，生的羞惭与绝望的惨酷。
这也许是痴。
竟许是痴。
我信我确然是痴；
Fresh as the new life on leaves of the tree,
Please, don't put my heart and soul in jail
locked into darkness, a lonely soul behind the iron face
Craziness, insanity, Oh, as if not,
I believe so
但我不能转拨一支已然定向的舵，
万方的风息都不容许我犹豫 ──
我不能回头，运命驱策着我！
我也知道这多半是走向毁灭的路，
但为了你，为了你，我什么都甘愿；
When the ship out for sail, n an arrow
fly away from the bow
Driven by the fate, sad n sorrow
towards end of the road, though
I know, it's death and hell
I will wait for you, still
I 'm waiting for you n want you so
I will wait for you, with my soul
这不仅我的热情，
我的仅有理性亦如此说。
痴！想磔碎一个生命的纤维
为要感动一个女人的心！
想博得的，能博得的，至多是
她的一滴泪，她的一声漠然的冷笑；
但我也甘愿，即使
我粉身的消息传给
一块顽石，她把我看作
一只地穴里的鼠，一条虫，
A voice in side, not the lust says so
with all my wit and will, no
I am nothing, just search my soul
( for her ) a drop of tear n a smile pretty, n cold
I will, I want you so
Let the rock smash my mail
Let my feeling crow, like warm in earth hole
我还是甘愿！
痴到了真，是无条件的，
上帝也无法调回一个痴定了的心
如同一个将军有时调回已上死线的士兵。
I will wait you, ( Cz' ) I want you still
Mad, I am, it's unconditional
A heart dies away, speed, n God says NO!
Can they return from death to home, a soldier or a general
枉然，一切都是枉然，
你的不来是不容否认的实在，
虽则我心里烧着泼旺的火，
饥渴着你的一切，
你的发，你的笑，你的手脚；
任何的痴想与祈祷
不能缩短一小寸 你我间的距离！
Waste, all, impossible
Still, in my sight, you didn't show, down the road
It's burning, it's the fire
Thirst, to you, all, I will wait you
I want you so
your hair-do, smiles, your toe
I squeeze all my words of praying
I cut the distance between me and you
户外的昏黄已然
凝聚成夜的乌黑，
树枝上挂着冰雪，
鸟雀们典去了它们的啁啾，
沉默是这一致穿孝的宇宙。
钟上的针不断的比着
玄妙的手势，像是指点，
像是同情，像的嘲讽，
每一次到点的打动，我听来是
我自己的心的
活埋的丧钟。
Already, sunset, smoky yellow
Look, the dark night, that glow
Waiting for you, till the ice turned from snow
Waiting for you, till the birds singing weakened and low
Universe, covered by the silence, like a black coat
Hands of times change, not my poem
as if pity, or to signal like a joke
When it strikes the time,
yet, on my soul, it stroke
so heavily, n so deadly, a blow
Completed
新年一语: I posted a part of this poem earlier this year, but now,
when the Lunar Chinese New Year is just around corner, i would post it to share with all:
Sunday, February 03, 2008 - 约翰,雷Shaw
You can reach him at:
lakeshore_viewer_2008@yahoo.cn (China)
john.canjourno.2008@gmail.com ( International )
I did not know him and his poem much. I read somewhere he was born in southern China, educated in British. Among few earlier learners in Europe, He, as i read later, enjoyed great reputation in Chinese Love Poem. The translation of his poem, i have not read many, but recently by listening some of the music from Luna's post gave me a lot of inspiration. As to the Translation quality, to be honest, i am really not sure, but if you say so, i feel greatly at ease, and i will be happy if you could advise any good one that we may both enjoy. I read your posts quite often, and look forward to hear you more.
Lakeshore, in early morning. -Burlington Ca.
我还是第一次读徐志摩的《我等候你》, 译的精彩，也喜欢你配的图片，很诗意，谢谢分享。
周末快乐，
Rebecca
I am glad that you like the way i did it, Take good care, and Happy New Year 2008! I lookward to coperate more with you, in 2008.
Ciao!...lakeshore.
Great job, lakeshore!