Yellow outside, White inside

中午一起吃饭时，偶然听到一当地出生的Chinese同事说：“I'm yellow outside, but white inside”。因只听到他说这句话，不清楚什么话题引发他这么说，但事后这句话一直在我脑海里转，让我无法释然。

记得在新加坡时，当地年轻人被成为“banana"。原因是他们外表黄皮肤，内心却很西化。因他们从小受英文教育，有些崇洋媚外，总觉得西方的东西，西方的观念，西方的想法就是好，当然他们自己的感觉也很好。

我当时并没有特别的感觉，他们怎么想是他们的事，跟我没有关系。

但这次不一样，我想到了我的孩子。他们将来也会这么想这么说吗？这绝对是我不想看到不想听到的。

什么是"yellow outside, white inside"? 皮肤有黑白黄之分，内心怎么还有颜色之分？这明显就是说白色比黄色有优越感，要和我们这些地道的黄皮肤人划清界限？

我绝对不希望我的孩子说这样的话甚至有这样的想法。首先，说这话明显就是不自信的一种表现，认为黄皮肤不好，自己看低自己。如果我的孩子有一天真得因为自己是黄皮肤而受到歧视，让他们感觉低人一等，他们可能会怪怨我们为什么把他们生成黄皮肤或生在这里，我会感觉对不起他们，会反省移民加拿大的决定是否正确；如果我的孩子们因为出生在这里，受教育在这里，就认为他们比中国出生的华人有优越感甚至看低他们，这跟看不起我们没什么两样，其实也是看不起自己。

我希望我的孩子以作为华人而自豪，为中国而自豪，为能说中国话而自豪。我希望他们不管在哪里不管做什么都要充满自信。无论如何，不能说：”I'm yellow outside, but white inside."

说了这么多，我并不是想批评我的同事。其实他的人很好，相信他对中国也很关心，我知道地震时他还捐了款。他说这话也许只是想表达他的思维想法和中国移民来的华人不一样，虽然他也是华人。不管怎么样，我觉得我们作为第一代移民，在怎样教育孩子培养孩子的世界观方面确实充当很重要的角色，应该付出一些努力。
 
English follow...

During the lunch time, when I sit down, I heard one of my Chinese colleagues, who was born here in Canada, said:”I’m yellow outside, but white inside.” As I didn’t know what caused him to say this, I don't want to make judgement on what he said, but the words really brought me many thoughts.

The first time I heard about “yellow outside, white inside” when I was in Singapore. The young Singaporean were called “banana” because they are Chinese but can’t read and write Chinese; They are educated in English; Their ways of thinking and acting are more close to western people and that’s also the trend they want to follow.

At that time I didn’t think too much. That’s the fact and I respect others’ thoughts.

Now I think of my children and think about the meaning behind these words. What if one day they say the same words? For sure, I will feel sad about it and for sure I don’t want this happen to my children.

People have different colors. We can’t control this and nothing wrong with this. But why there are different colors inside? What means that? By saying it, I can sense the meaning behind that : White is superior to yellow; White should be treated differently than yellow.

I don’t want my children to say this even have such thinking. If one day they are treated differently just because of the color of the skin, it may make them lose self-confident, probably they will blame us why gave them yellow skin not white; If they feel they are different from Chinese from China and look down on them or don’t want to be treated the same way as them, there is no difference than they look down on their parents, the same as they look down on themselves. That will be my big mistake in educating my children.

I want my children to be proud of being Chinese, can speak Chinese and also benefit from speaking Chinese; I want them to be confident all the time no matter what they are doing and where they are. In any cases, never say: “I’m yellow outside, but white inside.”

I don't mean to blame my colleague or judge him here. He is a good guy. I believe he cares about China. He ever donated for China's earthquake...Probably he meant to say that his way of thinking or looking at things was different from Chinese from China and closer to the local people. No matter what, this gives us a warning. As parents of children who were born or grow up here, we should be responsible for guiding them to have the right view. We should REALLY put effort on this.