一日三笑

一日三笑

                                                     一

几个roommates里有两兄弟，是房东的儿子。老大憨厚，老二朴实。我很喜欢他们。

            走进客厅时他们正在讨论去哪里买礼物。今天是老二与女友认识两年的日子，他想给她买个礼物，晚上再带她去好好吃一餐。见我一副醉生梦死的样子，就拿我开涮。

            “My friend, you are crazy. Everyone knows you are crazy.”

            我说：“You want to know what’s crazy? Let me tell you-----One day I am gonna write ‘Made in China’ on my forehead to show you how crazy this whole world is.”

                                                   二

            正巧想去Bose买耳机，我们三人就一起到Mall。

            圣诞前夕，商家促销。一个美如天仙的甜妞把我们拦下。

            “Hey, you.” 美女把我挑出。

            一惊，故作惧怕状，我发楞，说：“Normally I am the one picking girls up……”两兄弟晒笑。

            美女偷笑，双手轻轻握住我的右手（好暖和！），用美丽的蓝眼睛平视我的色眼，按预谋无畏发问：“It is Christmas. Do you have a sister?”

            “I, I have an old sis--”

            “Do you have a Mom?”

            “Who doesn’t?”

            “Then they will---hahaha…….”她自知好笑。

            “Hey, sweetheart. I need to pick up a gift with my friend ASAP. We will be back.”我乘机脱身。

            “You are lying. You are not coming back.”美女翘起小嘴。

            “I promise. I would like to spend the rest of my life listening to you, sweety.” 她没料到我有这招。一愣，我拔腿就溜。途中不忘回头，指了指她，拍拍我的心，竖起双手大拇指。留下美女灿烂地对我会心一笑。

                                                   三

            老二想买根项链给女友。我戏说应让老大的女友帮老二参考买礼物，and vise versa. 又讲自己平时逛街就零零散散收集good deals，才不至于事到临头手忙脚乱，再细述自己有个礼物箱，里面礼物三六九等，按需要手到擒来之种种好处。老大听痴了，说：        

            “Ok, we will go home check your pimp box up.”

            我和老二笑翻。