一日三笑 一 几个roommates里有两兄弟,是房东的儿子。老大憨厚,老二朴实。我很喜欢他们。 走进客厅时他们正在讨论去哪里买礼物。今天是老二与女友认识两年的日子,他想给她买个礼物,晚上再带她去好好吃一餐。见我一副醉生梦死的样子,就拿我开涮。 “My friend, you are crazy. Everyone knows you are crazy.” 我说:“You want to know what’s crazy? Let me tell you-----One day I am gonna write ‘Made in China’ on my forehead to show you how crazy this whole world is.” 二 正巧想去Bose买耳机,我们三人就一起到Mall。 圣诞前夕,商家促销。一个美如天仙的甜妞把我们拦下。 “Hey, you.” 美女把我挑出。 一惊,故作惧怕状,我发楞,说:“Normally I am the one picking girls up……”两兄弟晒笑。 美女偷笑,双手轻轻握住我的右手(好暖和!),用美丽的蓝眼睛平视我的色眼,按预谋无畏发问:“It is Christmas. Do you have a sister?” “I, I have an old sis--” “Do you have a Mom?” “Who doesn’t?” “Then they will---hahaha…….”她自知好笑。 “Hey, sweetheart. I need to pick up a gift with my friend ASAP. We will be back.”我乘机脱身。 “You are lying. You are not coming back.”美女翘起小嘴。 “I promise. I would like to spend the rest of my life listening to you, sweety.” 她没料到我有这招。一愣,我拔腿就溜。途中不忘回头,指了指她,拍拍我的心,竖起双手大拇指。留下美女灿烂地对我会心一笑。 三 老二想买根项链给女友。我戏说应让老大的女友帮老二参考买礼物,and vise versa. 又讲自己平时逛街就零零散散收集good deals,才不至于事到临头手忙脚乱,再细述自己有个礼物箱,里面礼物三六九等,按需要手到擒来之种种好处。老大听痴了,说: “Ok, we will go home check your pimp box up.” 我和老二笑翻。 |