To: 一个母亲

I am sympathetic to you for your suffering. From your stories, it seems that your husband was OK back in China. Is he a professional? Does he have a good job? You may say that his doings have nothing to do with this. But I can understand his frustration when he is not secured or lives in a life he does not want to live.  Ask yourself whether or not you were considerate to your husband when he was frustrated?

In my opinion, the only way to end the suffering is to become a “TRUE” Christian, not divorce or other measures. The real pain comes from “un-forgiveness”.  No one, except those who believe in God, can truly forgive others; no one can truly realize his/her problems until he/she becomes the son/daughter of the God. I am not religious and I know it is difficult to become religious unless some disasters happen. What I suggested here is based on others' experience. But I can tell you that there are no other ways to completely end your agony. Trying to live separately from your husband for a year or so, then decide what to do next.