I was on the way back home, that small yellow painted house was in my view. I did not know the reason, and pulled over my car, just can not helping crying out.
I do not remember when it was the first time I can hear that voices in my mind,
“My girl, I do not know how long I could run with you, I feel hurt all the time” it is my heart calling me. “I am sorry”
I told myself all the time, “I will be strong no matter what will happen to me”,
however, my mind gives too many orders to my heart, “ take that, be strong, fake a smile, get up, forget, just pretend, do that, please do that for me for last time, again and again….”
I know I am just killing my heart slowly. I thought I will forget if I could pretend a little bit longer, fake a smile long enough, then I could mess my mind, however, my heart can not be fooled around anymore.
“It is hurt; it is just hurt for real, my girl. It is time to think seriously, what can we do when we are able to do something or just wait for that moment to come?
“Could you please check your list?
I took a deep breath to catch up, and started my engine….