I talked a lot about fate. No matter how hard I have been strugglling, I am still there to take it. But, I have to admit I felt sad and shocked at that moment when he said his boss will move whole lab to the East coast. I kept saying, that is great, good city, and also that makes everything easier for us to start new life separately….. I do not want him to read something out from my voice or face. I do not. He said he knew I will suggest him to move with his boss, then he said nothing else, just be silent.
What is the consequence! Just for one time in my life, my will has been answered from somewhere, God, maybe, and ask me a question
” This is what you want, for sure?”
“ Yes, I am not ready, but yes”.
I will release you and myself. Time will change us to be strangers, I know I am not ready, but I will take it, and yell to the past-----------Good-bye.
Sitting in front of my computer, I could not get back to my work. Suddenly I was screaming with tears, cried out:
” I could not take it anymore!”
”please let me be me, let me be alone, be strong, please”