关于阳阳和自闭症

今天是5月13日。在二月份的时候，一个亲亲宝贝的妈妈担心她5个月的女儿有自闭症

http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=kids&MsgID=1068739

我让她不要担心。当时我的回复：

“我家宝宝平时也不跟我视线接触，除非他自己想跟我玩。5个月的时候从来不会伸手要人抱，直到最近（11个月）才会伸手。叫他名字一般没反映，自己玩自己的，也是最近几个礼拜才偶尔回头看你。本来我以为他不喜欢我呢。上礼拜感冒了，现在忽然变得很粘人，终于学会搂着我脖子了。他11个月了呢。

我觉得你不要太过担心，老往坏处去想。平时还是多多跟她在一起。 ”

两个星期前，有个朋友来家住了一个礼拜，有很多时候跟阳阳在一起。她觉得阳阳有些奇怪，因为他躲避视线接触，而且叫他名字没反应。当时我用外人的眼光观察了他一阵，也发觉阳阳真的跟其他小孩不一样。当时我发了个贴子咨询：

http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=kids&MsgID=1142246

但是我从来没想到是自闭症。大家都说正常，可能只是发育晚一些而已。看了一个妈妈的回复，提到这个症状，我还没太在意。昨天晚上跟老公吵架，因为我批评他看宝宝的时候，从来都不理宝宝，让宝宝一个人玩，我说做爸爸的应该多多 engage 宝宝参与活动，多说话，多一起玩。我说宝宝平时不理人，可能是因为我们和他的互动太少了。为了把问题说严重些，我就说可能宝宝有自闭症。我其实连自闭症是什么也不清楚。

晚上找了些资料看，发现阳阳的症状太象自闭症了。简直是晴天霹雳。除了“自虐”之外，其它所有早期症状阳阳都有。越想越难过，哭得睡不着。他那么可爱，那么乖的宝宝，怎么能承受这样的人生呢？

今天正好要去看儿医，就问了她的意见。她也说，现在诊断还早，但推荐我去一间 developmental disability 的中心做检查。我赶快打电话预约，还没打通。

下午要去看 occupational therapy，是训练阳阳用手的。去晚了，但我也问了 therapist 关于自闭症的问题，原因是她给我们的家庭训练项目，很多我都没法跟阳阳做，因为阳阳不理我。她说，阳阳的 motor skills 还是比正常慢 2 个月，避免视线接触，可能有些自闭倾向，应该去那个中心检查。她说检查的项目和她这里的一些项目是一样的。她还说，阳阳对玩具非常有兴趣，玩起来十分集中，是好现象，因为很多自闭儿童对玩具没有兴趣。我听她的口气，好像是说阳阳有自闭倾向，但不是特别严重。我问她，阳阳的 lack of social skill 和他的 slow development in motor skill 是否有关系。她说，在有的小孩那里是相连的，是一种 sensory 什么的 disorder，但要做检查才知道。她说，如果阳阳到 15 个月还不会走路，就应该检查这个 sensory 什么 disorder。

我婆婆是退休的学校老师，曾经做过 special education，给有自闭症的儿童提供教育服务。我立刻写信问她的意见。我的信：

I am getting more and more worried about Logan. He shows many of the early signs of autism.

He rarely makes eye contacts; he never points at things;

he prefers to play on his own for hours;

he does not respond when his name is called;

he is not learning to talk and he is pronouncing less consonants than before (no "mama" anymore);

he doesn't care if I come in or leave the room;

he is unaware of the surroundings when he is engaged in his activities;

he never shares any activity with me, never shows me toys or books, never look at me when

he has achieved anything;

he does not try to communicate with gesture;

he is still having trouble with waving bye-bye....

I know it is still early to diagnose with autism, but I feel these signs are very worrisome. I have talked with our pediatrician today and she refers me to a developmental center for evaluation. I am waiting to hear back from them.

You mentioned that Mike was a very focused baby. I wonder if Logan is just like Mike, or he is worse in communication skills. I hope everything is fine, but the more I read and the more I see Logan, the more I am alarmed. I'd like to hear your view on this.

婆婆的回信：

As far as autism, there has been a great increase in the ability to diagnose autism earlier in the last few years...it used to be difficult before the age of 2. California has a much higher incidence of autism than any other state....whether it's the diagnostic tools they are using or the concerns that were raised many years ago about the causes of autism in Ca. I worked with families that had moved to Oregon from California with their autistic children....

First of all, any time you have a concern, you should check it out for sure....School districts are required by law to provide the diagnostics at no charge to parents; the place where your Dr. referred you could be a clinic or the state of CA could use that as the facility instead of the public schools. You might want to check that out....you could call the elementary school in Hermosa Beach and ask them about services for preschoolers who may not be progressing as they should....and find out the waiting period for an evaluation.

Your concerns are valid; during an evaluation, they will check his hearing, and motor development; the developmental history with the helmet is going to be most important that they have all the tests/reports, from that. You have his growth/development on tape so that will be invaluable to the team who evaluates him; he had made so much progress with the helmet; it is most evident in your videos; he does react to people's voices, and noises, and certainly he smiles when he is happy. I know what you mean when you say that he isn't making eye contact with you.

I would certainly go through the evaluation. If covered by your insurance, you might want to look into a diagnostic clinic that specializes in early childhood/participating in research of autism in babies. Even if he isn't diagnosed as autistic, they will give you recommendations on activities to do with him, as well as possible preschools that would be better for him.

今天又有一些妈妈给我写信，鼓励我，给我讲成功的故事。看来还是有不少妈妈相信我的直觉，不象我三个月之前那样好心地对别的妈妈说些“不要太过担心”这样没用地话。

我觉得我忽然有了很多动力，很多更加疼爱阳阳、珍惜阳阳的决心。可能是因为我平时照顾他不够精心，过于大意，这次让我重新考虑我做妈妈的角色。阳阳是那么一个招人疼爱的宝宝，眼光是那么清澈明亮，那么充满信任，那么单纯和无邪，他真的应该享受所有最美好的人生经验。

我决定要开始好好记载他的成长故事。