there is alaways hopes

回来以后的头两个星期里，自己一个人哭了一场， 为了等那久久没有回复的一封信, 心理承受力比从前差了很多.得不到想要的,仿佛天塌了一般.早上10点起床,没有邮件,又是新的一天,还不是要面对.

我放弃了,也失望透了.这一切莫名其妙的发生,大起大落,最后毫无所终.我没有损失什么,不过从头再来而已.下午在网上看到了新的post,又申请了新的.晚上回到家,跟cindy谈起这件事,后悔,也只是5分钟.

there may not be any hope in the future, I JUST feel much better than the yesterday. That is the way people face to the failure and be prepare for tomorrow. I want that job so badly which make me act like someone else. Slow down! anyway, i had a bad week and totally pissed off. i never expect this had been so hard to get what I want. The bad thing is I am alone again even though I talked to mom dad throuh the phone. this is a big world but nobody really can help me out