The time I feel bad about myself

It is true that I don't social well in a team. I can handle two-people-conversation just fine, like showing people my confidence during a interview, so that they know they come to a right person to fill the position. I am able to face a tough job and solve the problem. They are not chanllenging to me as long as I follow the right track. To smooth the conversation and be a popular talker, I always have hard time. Like today, if there was no lunch meeting for Sarah, Friday would end up as a perfect day. Now I feel so bad about myself 

I  am easily stressed up by a lunch meeting or meeting new person in work. I don't have story sharing with them. It really make me want to shrink away when I sitting there quietly. Eating with a smile make me feel like a jerk, I really want to join the conversion though. It was the worst time ever I felt about myself. I just avoide attending such meeting because it is just another chance to show up my weakness in social skill.It could ruin my future career  I believe.

Seems nobody know me very well,  because I don't social very well,.It is also the reason I feel so bad about myself when sitting with people I barely know. When coworkers go for a coffee and pass by the cub beside me, some of them are interested in spy on me for a sec. why?  

I can be a big talker in Chinese, I know that. Never worked in English.  Is that because the culture, the language barier or people around me?