A Worthy Career Choice for Men

(2013-03-15 14:26:20) 下一个

A Worthy Career Choice for Men - 值得考虑的职业选择

A few day ago, I was chatting with my mom on the phone. In the mid of normal lecturing, my mother asked me, " Do you still remember little Dr. Tang?"

 "Of course, how could I forget about her? What happens to her? “I answered my mom's question with a worried follow-up question. Nowadays, we heard so many tragic stories about young and middle aged people dying unexpectedly all the time in China.

"She is alright,and she wondered if you have any suggestions for son's major when going to America this fall, her son does not like to study engineering or medicine or law "

"He can try to study fashion design." without thinking, I slipped my tongue.

"Be serious, he is a 16 years old young boy." My mom made her complaint.

"Mom, I am serious.A successful fashion designer can have almost everything- fame, fortune, and lots of other good stuffs" I stopped short to mention other great benefits.,"Please just tell her what I recommended, and let her son to make the decision." I rebutted with a plea to my mom.

I do remember little Dr. Tang very well. In 80s, one of favorable sports that my mom enjoyed was that she would , at her  day off , dressed me up and bring me to her hospital. When other doctors, male and females, praised me with "ohs" and 'ahs", my mom's beautiful face would light up with radiance and contents as if she won a "trophy".

Comparing with other seasoned doctors in the maternity ward, Dr. Tang was a young graduate just freshened out from Shanghai First Medical College. She was a pretty but shy lady. While other doctors were busy to"abuse" me by pinching my cheeks or other body parts or attempting me with candies or other snacks with some preset conditions, she just stood next to my mom and smiled, and was ready to rescue me, from those "craze old ladies" who time to time would bite me without any justifications, by offering to buy me my favorite snakes - 娃娃头雪糕  or chocolate-flavored candy which shaped like golden coins. 

If she happened to buy herself own snacks  at the stores, she would let me take a bite and  then ask  me how I thought about it as if my opinion would matter to her. Before she returned me to my mom, she would gave me a tight hug and kissed me on my face. The strange thing I remember was that her face would turn red without an apparent reason. But, as a little boy surrounded by a group of "Giants" in white gowns in those "career days" in hospital, I liked little Dr.Tang's humane treatment, and her sweet and soft "bribery". 

Through my mom, I know Dr. Tang was promoted to a high position in the hospital and married quite late. Now, I can't believe that now Dr.Tang's son is ready for the college, and she is willing to listen to the little boy whom she held, many years ago, his little hands, walking on the tree-covered path of the hospital and sharing snacks. The scary thing is that my detailed memories are still fresh as if it were yesterday.

I double that Dr. Tang would take my advice seriously to permit her only son to study fashion design as a way to make a living even I think if she is willing to give it a try, she and her son may thank me for my suggestion years later. 

Chinese parents are very special "breeds" on the earth. On one hand, they could be very protective and willing to scarify themselves; on the other hand, they are eager to push their kids into the system of formal education early without mercy. It's no surprise the some zealous Chinese parents would begin to teach their kids as early as their kids are still in deciduous teeth. If it's possible, Chinese parents would prefer their kids to skip grades and get into  the famous Name Brand University. Furthermore, they would often use their influences to advise their kids to choose college majors that have the potential to be professors, doctors, attorneys, investment bankers,engineers ... In other words, they'd want their children to make them to be respectful, noble and prestige as they were advised by their parents years ago.

I think that there is nothing wrong by Chinese parents’ assumption, in which a time-tested and reputable careers such as professors, doctors, attorneys, investment bankers and engineers may bring stable financial foundation, let alone to find a marriage suitor easier. Nevertheless, they forget one thing - the world has become much flatter now than ever before, globalization has modified the social and economic landscapes to a degree that almost any career, even the ones that were shunned away by our parents now are becoming very prestige and profitable. For instance, fashion designer would be one. 

Here is a thing, if I could turn back clock, let's say 15 years, I might want to study fashion design. Yes, I may make less money but at the same time, I will have less stress and more fun, plus tons of  benefits that men could not get in other occupations.  

Speaking of benefits as fashion designers, it's definitely worth of consideration from a man's point of view. Let me use some simple words to paint a picture for people would think I am crazy, otherwise.

If a guy is a successful fashion designer, he would be highly admired across all walks of life; in particular, hundreds and thousands ladies/fans around the globe, from celebrities such as the first lady and Hollywood movie stars to ordinary people.(Unlike us, the streeters, often are given no credits whatsoever even we worked more than 12 hrs per day and still are called nasty names from congressmen to average Joes), then there are glamour, lime-light, travel-around-the-world, party-til-death, oh yeah, the huge pile of money which soon follows if the name brand takes off. Do I mention anther huge unique perk - working with these stunningly beautiful young female models descended from every corner of the planet all the time.

I am not sure how many of you ever went to the back stages of the major fashion shows, I am lucky enough to visit her few times when she was working. I am telling you guys, the views were just marvelous. She "instructed" me before I went. "Just keep eye contact with the girls and keep smiling." That is easy for her to say, when I standing next to these practically naked and beautiful girls in such close distance, I was the first one to be embarrassed, not to mention I have to deal with my male body function. However, supposing  you are a male fashion designer, you might get used to it. :)) 

 Are there any objections? If you are men, I think that I could just make my convincing case to you.


1)Put one video clip of Shiatzy Chen's work from Paris Fashion Week of last week. I kind of like her work which leverages many traditional Chinese culture and heritage. Last year, I bought a couple of her designed piece for my mom's birthday, my mom like them because they are so wearable.

People often mistaken the west for fashion inspirations, but the fact is that even the country like France, fashion  became popular since 1670s, yet the Chinese stylish fashion trend  might start around 600s in Tang Dynasty. Go figure!

2) The photo comes from Internet.

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阅读 ()评论 (6)
纵然平行 回复 悄悄话 回复盈袖2006的评论:
AJ,你对囡囡头职业选择的宽容心态,真是难能可贵。 想一想, 一个青年人要用可观的时间去面对工作,如果不喜欢自己职业, 还要苦撑,那么成功的可能大概是可想而知了。

也祝福你不但能过把瘾, 而且让你大有斩获,弥补过去无法选择的缺失。
盈袖2006 回复 悄悄话 回复纵然平行的评论:

纵然平行 回复 悄悄话 回复娅米的评论:

完全支持你提出的成功两个基本条件 - 才华与兴趣。我觉得, 一个人才华蛮重要,但智商毕竟和先天有不少关连,父母能左右的空间可以说是相对不很大。 可是兴趣这一项就不同了,它是一个弹性比较宽广的区域,家人,朋友和环境的影响都可以起凸显甚至厄杀的功能。 譬如说,中国的父母一般会不会让孩子“沉迷”画漫通,或者注意服装的款式, 他们会有意无意地把这些兴趣归纳为旁门左道。同时,他们会鼓励并诱导他们去专精奥数,物理,化学,语言等有关帮助进一流大学的项目。 所以,在某种程度上,父母的影响和态度有关键的推、阻力。 由于西方的父母与东方父母在尊重和培养孩子的兴趣这样的栏目的表现不一样, 所以,结果也形成孩子在职业选择上的鲜明对比。

我这样讲,不是反对专精数理化和写作,我仅仅是希望中国这样一个文明古国可以减少偏见,父母可以更主动地资助子女自身的兴趣发展。 我们的社会也不要动不动就用伪娘,阴柔,二货这样negative的语言去攻击青年男人,难道真正男人的正确标准就只能是定格在出口成脏,热衷肉欲,倾向暴力,鄙视人文,衣冠拉沓,异味飘香的大丈夫上吗?试想一下,像李安这样男人是不是属于伪娘呢?像他的父母和他的太太那样支持和尊重他的兴趣的事例,可不可以给我们一个参考和反思的元素。

我觉得,男人的成功,和选择什么样职业的并没有决定的因素,却和兴趣所在有不可分割得源渊,如果我们享受工作的乐趣 我们就比较可能可把工作做得出色。顺便提一下,我从小就喜欢赚钱,也不惧怕挑战和风险,我记得, 我13岁的时候就从一个港商手中挣到我第一桶金,可是, 我家人却不以为然。大学里,常常被同学叽笑为小孔方兄一枚。我父母一直都希望我步他们的后尘-教书或救人,但我最后还是决定让我的兴趣做主打,今天虽然我不算成功,但至少我比较快乐。 阿Q一下。:)
娅米 回复 悄悄话 你给盈袖的回帖让我很有感触。我觉得不论哪一行,要想做得好,必须具备两个条件,才华与兴趣。


纵然平行 回复 悄悄话 同意, 不是每一个人都适合做服装设计师;同理,也不是每一个人都适合做教授,医生,律师和银行家。 问题是, 那为什么仍然还有这么多人趋之若鹜,乐此不疲呢? 我提出这样看起来不大符合国人职业欣赏的专业,是希望我们可以对一个正在大幅度改观的世界,做一个认真的评估和解析,从而扩大视野, 充分利用国人智慧去开发新的成功资源和途径。 如果国人,尤其是父母,可以鼓励子女充分发展个人兴趣,而不是用传统的“偏见”逼着他们去挤一扇窄门。 那么,这个世界有可能会耀现多一些知名的中国作曲家,中国剧作家,中国电影导演,中国服装设计师。请不要低估一位有创造力的设计师所传播的神奇影响。

我想,AJ对颜色和线条有如此好的感觉和应用,如果你是一位服装设计师的话,设计的能量一点不会弱。你大概不知道,夏姿陳品牌的创始人及设计师并没有正宗学习过服装设计,但她却可以成功地把一个neo-Chinese chic的理念推进国际服装设计舞台,让名家侧目并让她的设计受到推崇。
盈袖2006 回复 悄悄话 however, not every one has the talent, 祖师爷得赏饭吃~