2/25 星期一

周六, 天气预报说最高气温有15度, 实际上, 还是很冷, 春天似乎仍旧遥遥无期. 和Dave一起喝下午茶, 聊聊最近的状况. 公司还是老样子, 起步缓慢, 我有点烦, 但又不愿半途而废; 约会, 没什么兴趣, 有一搭没一搭, 感觉不象谈条件, 一切可商量, 感觉有就是有, 没有就是没有, follow my heart, 但my heart似乎不在我的控制之下. Dave今年打算独立做business, 在忙着找新的办公室和合作伙伴. Personal life不尽人意, Dave和他ex wife trying to spend more time together, but it turned out that she doesnt like his life style, and Dave doesnt wanna change. I can understand why she doesnt like his life style, Dave drinks too much, staying outside late all the time, no gf or wife would like that way. I said, "Well, if you love her, you need to change." "If she loves me, why she couldnt change for me?" Dave shot back. I was laughing, couldnt answer the question, cos I was thinking like that most time, even though I know that sounds mean and selfish. I guess to make a relationship work, both need to compromise at the certain point, but it would be very tough to make the line clear between willingly compromising and losing ourselve. Dave said, "I realized that, my wife was the right person 6 years ago, but she doesnt have to the right person for my whole life. People change, and life changes too." 我听了, 沉默不语, 他这句话很重, 去年Dave刚打算和他ex wife复合的时候曾说, "without her in my life, I wouldnt be happy." 我不知道说什么才好, 我一直觉得, there is no such "the right person", but the right persons for the different timings, someone I liked in my early 20s might not be the right one any more for me now, I changed, and what I am looking for from a man changed too. 我一直觉得那些"没有他/她, 我这一辈子都不会幸福"的宣言很可笑,  那只是一种自我暗示, 其实, 没有任何人, 日子都一样过, 为什么要把自己一辈子的幸福和一个特定的人挂钩? 难道觉得人生的辛苦drama还不够多? But it doesnt mean that I cant commit, when I commit with someone, that means I would like to face all the challenges in future and change together with the person, work on making us match each other even with all the changes coming along. I cant guarantee that I would never change, that is impossible. Is that not enough for a commitment???

晚饭的时候, 看到几个military boys, reminded me of someone who had vanished from my life. I do miss him a lot, honestly, and he is so right about that I wouldnt forget him... So what? Without whoever, life still goes on, and I think I am on the stage ready for a new love. 如果无法天长地久, 曾经拥有也不算太坏.


Channing Tatum, the hottie.

[jgey]

我的教诲你要牢记心头,可以少走很多弯路,哈哈...!

[G.C.]

"but it would be very tough to make the line clear between willingly compromising and losing ourselves."

同感，同感。。。