成就和成就感

长周末期间，忘年交的老朋友打电话聊天，不知不觉就谈到了成就和成就感。他的观点是：在国内，有成就感没有成就；在国外，有成就缺少成就感。他的意思是，在国内人们大多感觉良好，感觉自己很有成就，于是成就感比较膨胀；在国外，人们付出努力提高自己，也做出了很多成绩，这是有成就，但是少有成就感，因为大多数人不满意自己在给别人打工。

的确听到很多人感叹，出国之后没有成就感。成就和成就感的有无因人而异，取决于一个人的个性，追求和价值观。成就和成就感可大可小，并非只有做到CEO 或拿到Nobel Prize才是有成就，才会有成就感。先生和孩子对housewife新学的recipe赞不绝口，对housewife来说是成就和成就感； surgeon通过切除肿瘤，使濒死的病人转危为安，不仅有成就，还有成就感；投资者赚到一笔钱，有成就和成就感。这样看来成就感是一个人对自身价值和成绩的一种满意的心态，对自己越满意，得到别人的肯定越多，越有成就感，只有当一个人做他喜欢的工作时，才最有可能产生成就感。

其实细想一下，不用被成就和成就感这样的big words吓倒，人们追求的明天过得比今天好，今天过得比昨天好，经常不断地看到自己从不会到会，从会到精的make progress，就是一个积累成就的过程，however, I admit having a sense of accomplishment in work is much more difficult than in daily life。

 

 

[melly]

回复林贝卡的评论:

Thank you Rebecca. A topic with less fun but more rational thinking. hehe...

[林贝卡]

A nice article.

[Flamenco_Girl]

回复melly的评论:
You got it. Each of us is unique and has great potential in many ways, appropriate motivation makes big difference. I guess "comparing to others" is in subconsciousness, while learn from others can be a conscious effort.

Have a nice one!

[melly]

回复Flamenco_Girl的评论:

ha..I am 200% 阿Q.

I love your point of "try more of this world offers". I believe one's potential is not as limited as he/she thought. I never thought I could open a blog, now I have so many essays and friends. hehe...

So most likely what one has to do is to balance out the self-appreciation and reward for his past effort, and comparing to others to expand his/her potential.

Thank you, girl.

[Flamenco_Girl]

回复melly的评论:
I know Melley, you have a positive attitude and a good balance point. It seems to me that "comparing with oneself in the past" is by rational choice. 知足常乐; while "comparing with others" could be a feeling hard to igor. Such as people are conscious about their social positions, and present their images accordingly. From another side, it's the 不知足 that motivates a person to do better. A more accurate feeling for myself is not a direct comparision to others, but want to try more for what this world offers. As to "what this world offers", we pretty much learned from the experience of others.

Comparing to everage American, most of the folks here are quite accomplished, especially considering we are from a disadvantageous starting point.

[melly]

回复Flamenco_Girl的评论:

Hi Flamenco_girl,

I am happy to see your message. If you hadn't shown up, I would knock your door directly and ask for response. hehe... I do care your oppinion on this topic. You impressed me as a successful career woman knowing how to enjoy a package deal of life.

I guess comparing with oneself in the past is good enough since comparing with others may lead to frustration or depression as a result of setting up an unrealistic goal. As for other people's judgement, do you real care? One lives his own life, right?

Thanks.

[Flamenco_Girl]

I guess the feeling of accomplished comes from comparison, and it depends on who you compare with. While the accomplishments can be defined by oneself when he/she reached his/her personal goals. Also, other people judge us based on their creteria for accomplishments.

[melly]

回复blhw72的评论:

I'd like exchange my brain for yours, I doubt you want my body, which is not as evil as yours. lol

two nonresident of wxc friends of mine brought up two points. The first one was that feeling accomplished was rather related to how many people one controls than hom much money one earns.The other questioned whether one's sense of accomplishment was associated with the compliments and acknowledgements from other people.So it is indeed a personal choice and self-satisfaction, which is built on one's goal for life.

[blhw72]

Hey, PhD, the permanent head damage, me, a MD, do want you because MD is Muscular Dystrophy. Using your body with my head, we are perfectly healthy, aren't we? ;-)

Do me a favor, sweetie. Tell your boss, your MD friend, her only target accomplishment is to be a good cook. I'm sure that he would say that's brilliant. Wanna bet? -- 100 bucks!

[melly]

回复blhw72的评论:

Guess what? PhD means permanent head damage, I am disable and cripple now. lol Do you still want it?

Besides, my boss always believes a MD is much smarter than a PhD. It has been proven matter-of-factly.

[blhw72]

Honey, millions of thanks. I feel like accomplished because a PhD(you) admires me(master degree). LOL

From now on, my ambition is to be a good cook. Sounds like a BIG plan? ;-)

[melly]

回复blhw72的评论:

Helen,

I agree with your American friends in terms of your achievement. In retrospect, you obtained MD and became a doctor, which is one of the most respectable professions in the world. Then you finished your MBA degree and try your best on one of the most difficult careers in the world. I really admire you. (do not remind me you are not good at cooking,hehe...)

Desiring accomplishment is related to one's expectation, mirrors one's ambition, and motivates one's creativity as well.I love your oppinon about the benign circle of happiness and accomplishment.

thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[blhw72]

Melly,

The first person, who told me that I'd accomplished a lot in my life, was an American. Then more and more, they were all Americans.

None of my family members in China ever said so.

You know what, myself never feel accomplished either. I think I'd done nothing though so many Americans besides my husband keep on telling me that I've done a lot.

Feeling accomplished is a state of mind, a very personal view towards the value of self existance. There are different scales in different individules' mind. The difference of the measurements creat biases.

To feel accomplished, in my humble opinion, self-learning and self-acceptance are musts, which are associated with happiness.

Accomplishments generate happiness. Vice verse, happiness leads more accomplishments. It is a benign circle.