The Food Dilemma

Writing down this title, I already start to have headaches. We only have a family of four but I am struggling to make everyone’s stomach happy at the dinner table since we all like different food. I literally feel stressed everyday around five o’clock agonizing about what I am going to cook for the night. That is if I try not to take the word “healthy” out of my considerations and be okay with my kids eating hot dogs and chicken nuggets all the time.

Maybe I am wrong, but I do not think any mom is challenged in terms of cooking as much as I am. Although my husband used to eat salad almost everyday when we were dating, the only vegetable he eats now is soggy spinach in some kind of Indian dish. Me, on the other hand, can go days without meat and my stomach kept the Chinese nationality even though I married a 鬼子(foreigner). Olivia and Evan both eat American breakfast and lunch in daycare since they were 8 months old and grew to be picky eaters. They eat very few Chinese dishes and “thanks” to daddy’s genes, they do not eat many veggies either.

So let’s take mommy and daddy out of the picture, here are the things Olivia and Evan like to eat: 1] chicken nuggets, 2] French fries, 3] tater tots, 4] pizza, 5] macaroni cheese, 6] fish sticks, 7] Bob Evan’s sausages, 8] grilled cheese sandwiches, and finally something good, 9] green beans. And you wonder why, as picky eaters, they can still maintain above 95 percentile in both their height and weight. Since the very beginning, I have been telling them that fried food may taste good but they are bad to our body and they both know it. Every time we pass McDonalds or Burger King, they will say “Mommy, French fries are bad for you.  You should only eat once in a while. But can we have some please?”

If only I can say “yes” all the time then my life would be much easier. But no, I want to be a good mom, a mom who feeds healthy food to their kids. However, not providing the food listed above means I have to face the following challenges everyday:

Olivia eats Lasagna/spaghetti/pasta but Evan does not.

Evan loves 糖醋鱼 (sweet and sour fish fillet) but Olivia does not.

Olivia loves Chinese soup noodles but Evan does not.

Evan loves plain rice (he can eat two bowls without any dishes) but Olivia hates rice.

Olivia likes Tou Fu but Evan hates it.

Evan likes 油菜 (one kind of Chinese cabbage) but Olivia does not really like it.

Olivia loves hotdogs but Evan does not.

Evan loves corn but Olivia does not.

Olivia loves fried eggs with tomato. Evan will only eat it if he is in a good mood.

Olivia loves V8 (thank goddness) and Evan hates it.

Olivia eats spinach once in a while but Evan never does.

Olivia like crab cakes but Evan does not.

Olivia eats green bean casserole but Evan does not.

Despite all these, I still make a special effort to try out a new dish once in a while hoping to expand their limited diet. But many times they just take a look, don’t even give it a try as they don’t think they will like it. I can not tell you how mad and frustrated I am when it happens and how much I envy those parents whose kids will eat whatever they cook.

As you can imagine, our dinner time can be stressful too if the food on the table is not what they like to eat. It involves constant negotiation between me and the kids which I know is wrong. “You have to have two bites of vegetables before you can eat the sausage.” Sometimes I have to threaten to take their favorite toy/activity away for a few days if they do not finish the food in their bowls.

Tears at the dinner table is not unusual as both Olivia and Evan are very stubborn, especially Evan.  Our 1^st floor bathroom (without window) is referred to as the “dark room” where the kids stay during time out. A couple of times, when Evan refused to eat vegetables, I told him that I would put him in the dark room until he was ready to eat. He would scream “No, I do not want that” and then just left the table and went to the dark room himself. He sat there giving me that indifferent look “I am just going to stay here. I’d rather not eat at all than eating that vegetable you want me to eat.”

I can imagine any Chinese mom who has read this post will probably shake her head thinking what a failure this mom is and that is exactly how I feel in terms of providing healthy food for my family.

Ironically I dug the hole for myself up to this point. Had I firmly insisted that they ate whatever I cooked when they were little (I still think it is easier to say than done), my dinner time would have been a whole lot easier and happier. 

When I am stressed about cooking for the rest of the three in our family, I often have scary thoughts of my husband having a heart disease in his forties and my kids battling obesity during their entire lives.  

I am just happy that there is no such thing as moral court which can sue me for jeopardizing the health of my loved ones by failing to cultivate their healthy eating habits.