《肖像 Portrait》

The first frost came in the night, a clear, scant-started night, when the moon was near its fullness. 

Silent, followed the heels of Vibrato (颤音), one of pals in MYSJ and a well known Chinese American poet, I went to AllPoetry, the biggest online publisher of English poetry. I published one of my English poems there then. 

How exciting! The short piece got an auto-ranked score for 8.9 and professional similarity 6 of 10. Moreover, several poets left their comments on it. The feedbacks on my poems from readers always mean a lot to me. I knew they were always nice to new comers. 

You might think I’m showing off, but I don’t intend to do that. Just for fun, LOL：））

这首诗被AllPoentry选上首页。这里许多朋友见过它的中文版。

Portrait
by TweetinGreen

on a strange sky dome
using meticulous skill
with a calligraphic brush
draw an oil painting
waves in the vast ocean
the dawning and twilight
thorny blood paths
gullies crisscross

so beautiful
a new genre

a shaved face
covered with mottled paints and inks
heh heh heh grinning
in a corner, a cup of tea
still jasmine



 

AllPoetry 评分和评论:

Posted a month ago. immigrants, hope, hardness. 
Like (12)

Front page pick 17 days ago.

Autorank Total 8.9, professional similarity 6 (of 10), concrete vs abstract 2 (of 2), noun/verb/etc order 0.9 (of 1)

Likes: A white rob, noseringpoems, Alice Z, HBey K, kaye, Ken doll, Stuart Munro, Mumtaz Noori, Dub Evergreen, Kh Ventura, Cozyglow, Kelley Citrin 

Alice Z - A beautiful piece with a sense of history.
Ken doll - Beautiful well written work. Congratulations on well deserved front page pick, enjoyed a day ago

Mumtaz Noori - Congratulations on FPP, a well deserved piece

Good poem. 17 days ago

HBey K - A wonderful canvas is here described in full eloquence.

Amazing 17 days 

Kh Ventura - wonderfully written, such a delightful piece to read, Thank you

Nicely done a month ago

Cozyglow - I love this poem. It’s such a meaningful and vivid portrait of the first generation immigrants. We crossed oceans and treaded thorny paths to come to a new place to seek a dream. We worked hard and overcame a lot of obstacles to get to today’s good life. “ in a corner, a cup of tea still jasmine”, inside, we still have a place for our old lands. Really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing! a month ago

Stuart Munro - Nice subject poetry

Lovely a month ago

Kelley Citrin - I am absolutely obsessed with this poem. The last line felt resilient and hopeful, concise imagery, pretty words. I adore it. Stunning. a month ago







 

[忒忒绿]

回复 'CBA7' 的评论 : 谢谢小西来读和鼓励！

[CBA7]

下面是我读过的《肖像 Portrait》中文版，很有创意、很美、很有历史感、很有深度的一幅画卷，赞！


画像 (2020-12-14 17:53:40)
—- 忒绿


在陌生的天幕上

用毛笔，工笔山水技法

画了一幅油画

波澜壮阔，朝晖暮色

荆棘血路，沟壑交错


很美

成了新流派


哎，是你吗？

满脸，满身的

斑驳水彩，油墨

嘿嘿笑

在一个角落里

喝的茶

还是茉莉花

[CBA7]

Congratulations! Thanks for sharing.