SM Strategy – Parents – Make Amy popular

SM Strategy – Parents – Helping Amy to not be alone, and instead popular in school

• Who: Amy, parent, classmate
• Location: classroom
• Environment: relaxed
• Worry Level: 1
• Purpose: in order for Amy to talk to people, she has to become comfortable with them, by making Amy popular, more kids will want to talk to Amy and be her friend

Strategy and Scene

Make Amy popular - Mom sets up playdate almost every day. Playdates are fun, creative, and safe.  Kids want to come back for more playdates, and other kids want to start having playdates with Amy. The playdates should be something that the kids can’t do at home. Mom should be honest with the other parents by sharing Amy’s SM condition and asking for help with playdates

Some good playdate ideas:

• Shopping at Shoprite
• Playground
• Fishing
• Going for a walk
• Fundraising

Provide opportunities to talk - Ask Amy yes or no questions to get her to talk

Questions like “Do you want to go to on the swings?” are good ways to help Amy speak.

Today, Amy was the Computer Tech teacher’s helper. Amy likes to be a helper to teachers of every subject. That way, she can work with the teacher and visit each teacher’s office. She can also run into her Girl Scout friends, neighbors, and classmates in the school hallways.  

“Amy, where is your mother taking us on the playdate tomorrow afternoon?” asked Julie, Amy’s Girl Scout friend. “May I please go as well? I wanted to see your pet rabbit and bird,” said Lia, Amy’s classmate. Several of Amy’s other classmates also came up to her and asked to join the playdate.  Every Friday after school, Amy’s mother would take Amy and her friends somewhere fun and get them something yummy to eat.  Amy was very happy when she heard that the kids wanted to go out and play with her, feeling popular. She smiled and whispered, “to the park”. Even though Amy still could not speak to them about what fun they could have in the park, at least she could whisper something in the hallways.

It’s finally Friday, and school had just ended. Several kids, whose parents had talked to Amy’s mother about the playdate, were waiting happily in the school office. Amy led them to her mother. Amy’s mother went up to each kid with a smile and gave them each an ice cream cone. The kids got into Amy’s mother’s car, chatting and eating the ice cream. Amy felt very relaxed in such a familiar environment.  After a while, they arrived at the park. It was large, with a lot of fun equipment, including big slides, swings, and exercise devices suitable for kids. Amy and the kids got off the car and ran to their favorite equipment.

“Amy, would like to come and slide with me?” Amy’s good friend said. “Yes!” Amy answered softly and ran over. The kids traded equipment, playing, talking, and laughing, all having fun. Amy was completely relaxed and played with the other kids without any problem.  The kids played until they were tired. Then, Amy’s mother called them to a table and brought out various snacks and drinks from the car. The kids all had a beautiful afternoon, and Amy played with them happily, made more friends, and didn’t feel lonely at all.

Hint: In order for kids with selective mutism not to feel lonely, and instead popular, parents should create opportunities for kids like Amy to interact with other kids by offering to take the kids out to play with Amy. They should notify and get approval from the parents in advance, telling them Amy’s situation and asking their kids to cooperate. They may plan some activities that cannot be done at home, such as shopping, going to the park, going fishing, walking, or fund raising. Remember to tell the other kids to start with “yes” or “no” questions in communicating with kids with selective mutism, to help them start talking.

Jun Reitman and Thea Wang  [e-mail]   SunnymindED.org