约翰·洛克的教育思想(中英对照)-3: 心智教育

MIND | Due care being had to keep the body in strength and vigour, so that it may be able to obey and execute the orders of the mind; the next and principal business is, to set the mind right, that on all occasions it may be disposed to consent to nothing but what may be suitable to the dignity and excellency of a rational creature.

心智 | 恰当的照顾使身体强壮和有活力，所以它能遵从和执行心智的命令；下一个而且主要的问题是使心智保持正常，在一切情形下都能举止合乎一个理性动物的尊严和高贵的身分。

If what I have said in the beginning of this discourse be true, as I do not doubt but it is, viz. That the difference to be found in the manners and abilities of men is owing more to their education than to any thing else, we have reason to conclude, that great care is to be had of the forming children's minds, and giving them that seasoning early, which shall influence their lives always after: For when they do well or ill, the praise and blame will be laid there; and when any thing is done awkwardly, the common saying will pass upon them, that it's suitable to their breeding.

如果我在这篇论述开始所说的，就如我所信是真的，即人的行为和能力的差别受教育的影响比别的任何事情都大，那么我们有理由论断，要重视塑造小孩的心智，并且要及早塑造，这对他们以后一生都一直有影响：因为当他们干好或干坏，赞扬与责备都会归结到他们所受的教育；如果有什么事情作得很笨拙，大家便要批评他们，说那是符合他们所受的教养。

As the strength of the body lies chiefly in being able to endure hardships, so also does that of the mind. And the great principle and foundation of all virtue and worth is placed in this: that a man is able to deny himself his own desires, cross his own inclinations, and purely follow what reason directs as best, though the appetite lean the other way.

就像身体的强健主要在于能忍受困苦，心智坚强也是如此。一切美德与价值的重要原则及基础在于：一个人能够压制自己的欲望，克服自身的倾向，而完全顺服理性所作的最好指引，虽然欲望倾向于另外的方向。

EARLY | The great mistake I have observed in people's breeding their children, has been, that this has not been taken care enough of in its due season: that the mind has not been made obedient to discipline, and pliant to reason, when at first it was most tender, most easy to be bowed. Parents being wisely ordained by nature to love their children, are very apt, if reason watch not that natural affection very warily, are apt, I say, to let it run into fondness. They love their little ones and it is their duty; but they often, with them, cherish their faults too. They must not be crossed, forsooth; they must be permitted to have their wills in all things; and they being in their infancies not capable of great vices, their parents think they may safe enough indulge their irregularities, and make themselves sport with that pretty perverseness which they think well enough becomes that innocent age. But to a fond parent, that would not have his child corrected for a perverse trick, but excused it, saying it was a small matter, Solon very well replied, aye, but custom is a great one.

趁早 |  我所观察到人们在教养子女时犯的重大错误，是没有在恰当的时刻对这一点给予足够关注：当心智最柔弱、最易塑造的时候，没有让它遵守约束、服从理智。父母由"自然"合理的设定，去爱护自己的子女，但是那种自然的爱一旦离开了理智的严密看管，就很容易流于溺爱。他们爱护自己的子女，这个原是他们的责任；但是他们常常也爱惜子女的过失。当真，子女是一定不受干涉的；在一切事情，他们都一定被允许照他们的意愿去做；他们在婴孩时不可能干什么大的坏事，他们的父母因此觉得可以安全地放纵子女的过犯，而且父母自己还逗弄子女的执拗，以为那合乎孩子的天真年岁。但是对于一个溺爱子女、不改正而原谅子女的乖僻行为、认为那是一件小事的父母，棱伦 (Solon 棱伦 (公元前638年－公元前558年)，古代雅典的政治家，立法者，诗人；古希腊最杰出的政治家之一)给出了很好的答复："不错，但是习惯却是一件的大事啊''。

The fondling must be taught to strike and call names, must have what he cries for, and do what he pleases. Thus parents, by humouring and cockering them when little, corrupt the principles of nature in their children, and wonder afterwards to taste the bitter waters, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain. For when their children are grown up, and these ill habits with them; when they are now too big to be dandled, and their parents can no longer make use of them as play-things, then they complain that the brats are untoward and perverse; then they are offended to see them wilful, and are troubled with those ill humours which they themselves infused and fomented in them; and then, perhaps too late, would be glad to get out those weeds which their own hands have planted, and which now have taken too deep root to be easily extirpated. For he that hath been used to have his will in every thing, as long as he was in coats, why should we think it strange, that he should desire it, and contend for it still, when he is in breeches? Indeed, as he grows more towards a man, age shews his faults the more; so that there be few parents then so blind as not to see them, few so insensible as not to feel the ill effects of their own indulgence. He had the will of his maid before he could speak or go; he had the mastery of his parents ever since he could prattle; and why, now he is grown up, is stronger and wiser than he was then, why now of a sudden must he be restrained and curbed? Why must he at seven, fourteen, or twenty years old, lose the privilege, which the parents' indulgence untill then so largely allowed him? Try it in a dog or an horse or any other creature, and see whether the ill and resty tricks they have learned when young, are easily to be mended when they are knit; and yet none of those creatures are half so wilful and proud, or half so desirous to be masters of themselves and others, as man.

被溺爱的孩子必定学会打人、骂人，他一定要得到他所哭求的，他也一定要做他喜欢做的任何事情。这样，父母在孩子小的时候，逗弄和娇宠他们，败坏他们的本性，他们自己毒害了泉源，日后喝到苦水却又感到奇怪。因为当他们的小孩长大以后，这些恶习也跟随着小孩；那时孩子太大不能逗着玩了，他们的父母不能再把他们当作玩物了，于是父母就埋怨说，臭小子们太忤逆、太乖僻；那时父母才觉得被小孩的执拗所冒犯，才知道他们亲手养成的那些恶习是很令人忧虑的；然后，他们才愿意拔除自己亲手种植的杂草，也许太晚了，杂草的根扎得太深而不易清除。因为当他还穿童装的时候，就惯于支配一切事情，现在大了穿短裤，他仍然希望和争取运用自己的意志去支配一切，我们为什么感到奇怪呢？事实上，当他长得越接近于成人，他的年岁越能显现他的毛病；因此很少父母仍很盲目而不能看见端倪，很少父母会麻木不仁而不能感觉自己纵容引起的恶劣影响。他在不会说话、不会行走之前，就已有支配女仆的意志了；他还在咿呀学语时，就已控制他的父母了；现在他已长大成人，比以前更强壮、更聪明了，为什么现在突然要受限制和拘束呢？为什么他在七岁、十四岁，或是二十岁的时候要失去以前父母娇惯所给予的特权呢？你可以在一只狗、一匹马、或是随便一只什么动物身上试试，看它们小时候养成的桀骜不驯的脾气，在长大羁勒以后是不是容易改变；然而这些动物，其倔强、骄傲、及希望成为自己与别人的主宰的心思，还不及人类的一半呢。

We are generally wise enough to begin with them when they are very young, and discipline betimes those other creatures we would make useful and good for somewhat. They are only our own offspring, that we neglect in this point; and having made them ill children, we foolishly expect they should be good men. For if the child must have grapes or sugar-plums when he has a mind to them, rather than make the poor baby cry or be out of humour; why, when, he is grown up, must he not be satisfied too, if his desires carry him to wine or women? They are objects as suitable to the longing of one of more years, as what he cried for, when little, was to the inclinations of a child. The having desires accommodated to the apprehensions and relish of those several ages, is not the fault; but the not having them subject to the rules and restraints of reason: the difference lies not in having or not having appetites, but in the power to govern, and deny ourselves in them. He that is not used to submit his will to the reason of others when he is young, will scarce hearken to submit to his own reason when he is of an age to make use of it. And what kind of a man such an one is like to prove, is easy to foresee.

对于别的动物，我们通常明智地从它们很小时候着手，及早调教它们使其有些用处和益处。只是对于我们自己的后代，我们却忽视这一点；我们把他们培养成坏孩子，我们却愚蠢地期望他们长大成为好人。如果小孩想要葡萄或糖球，那一定让他得到，而不是让这可怜的孩子哭泣或不高兴；那当他长大了，他的欲望把他带到醇酒或女人跟前，为什么不让他得到满足呢？长大时想要的［醇酒或女人］，和小时候哭求的［葡萄或糖球］，都是一个孩子的倾向欲求。有欲望要满足这些不同年龄的期望和享受，这不是什么错；错在没有让欲望接受理智的规范与约束：这差别不在于有没有欲望，而在于有能力约束欲求，并且克制我们自己。那小时候不习惯将自己的意志服从于他人理智的人，当他长大能够运用理智的时候，他也很少会去服从自己的理智的。这种人长大后会成哪种人，是容易预料的。

SPOILING | These are oversights usually committed by those who seem to take the greatest care of their children's education. But if we look into the common management of children, we shall have reason to wonder, in the great dissoluteness of manners which the world complains of, that there are any footsteps at all left of virtue. I desire to know what vice can be named, which parents, and those about children, do not season them with, and drop into them the seeds of, as soon as they are capable to receive them? I do not mean by the examples they give, and the patterns they set before them, which is encouragement enough; but that which I would take notice of here is, the downright teaching them vice, and actual putting them out of the way of virtue. Before they can go, they principle them with violence, revenge, and cruelty. Give me a blow, that I may beat him, is a lesson which most children every day hear; and it is thought nothing, because their hands have not strength to do any mischief. But I ask, does not this corrupt their mind? Is not this the way of force and violence, that they are set in? And if they have been taught when little, to strike and hurt others by proxy, and encouraged to rejoice in the harm they have brought upon them, and see them suffer, are they not prepared to do it when they are strong enough to be felt themselves, and can strike to some purpose?

惯坏 |  这些疏忽过错，都是那些表面上最用心教育子女的父母常犯的。但是假如我们看看对小孩的通常管教，我应有理由怀疑，在这为世人所指摘的放荡不羁行为中, 还有没有一点美德的印迹。我想要知道小孩会有什么恶行，倘若父母以及其他接近小孩的人，在小孩能接受邪恶的时候，不灌输邪恶给小孩，不播下邪恶的种子给小孩？我的意思不是指他们给小孩的榜样，和他们在小孩面前设的范例，那已是足够怂恿的；我所注意的是，他们明白地把恶行传授给小孩，真正地使他们离开美德的道路。在小孩还不会走路，就教他们暴力、报复、和残酷。"给我一根棍子，我好去打他"，是多数小孩每天听到的教训；这被认为没有什么，因为小孩的手不够有劲，不会惹出事来的。但是我要问，难道这不会败坏他们的心智吗？难道这不就是使他们开始施用武力与暴力吗？假如他们从小就借别人的手去打人伤人，而且被怂恿以被打者的受伤受苦为乐，难道到了他们强壮有力、能够自己感受，能故意去打人的时候，他们就不准备打入了吗？

The coverings of our bodies which are for modesty, warmth and defence, are by the folly or vice of parents recommended to their children for other uses. They are made matters of vanity and emulation. A child is set a longing after a new suit, for the finery of it; and when the little girl is tricked up in her new gown and commode, how can her mother do less than teach her to admire herself, by calling her, her little queen and her princess? Thus the little ones are taught to be proud of their clothes before they can put them on. And why should they not continue to value themselves for their outside fashionableness of the taylor or tirewoman's making, when their parents have so early instructed them to do so?

遮盖我们的身体是为了遮羞、取暖与得到保护，可是由于父母的愚蠢或坏心眼，却把衣服穿在孩子身上当作别的用途。穿着被他们看成了虚荣与竞争的工具。教小孩盼望一套新衣服，为的是贪图它的漂亮美丽；小女孩穿了新衣和戴新头饰，当母亲的怎能不叫她"小王后"和"小公主"，来教她欣赏自己？这样，小家伙还不会穿衣，却已学会夸耀她们的衣服了。当父母从小就教他们这样去做，他们长大了那能不继续以服装的外表时髦来评价自己呢?

Lying and equivocations, and excuses little different from lying, are put into the mouths of young people, and commended in apprentices and children, whilst they are for their master's or parents' advantage. And can it be thought, that he that finds the straining of truth dispensed with, and encouraged, whilst it is for his godly master's turn, will not make use of that privilege for himself, when it may be for his own profit?

师傅或父母为自身的利益，常常鼓励学徒和子女去说谎、含糊其辞、及说与谎言差不多的遁词。因此可以想见，他发现为了他尊敬的师傅的缘故，扭曲真相可以得到原谅和鼓励，那么为他自己和他自身利益，他为什么不可以说谎呢？

Those of the meaner sort are hindered, by the straitness of their fortunes, from encouraging intemperance in their children by the temptation of their diet, or invitations to eat or drink more than enough; but their own ill examples, whenever plenty comes in their way, shew, that it is not the dislike of drunkenness or gluttony, that keeps them from excess, but want of materials. But if we look into the houses of those who are a little warmer in their fortunes, their eating and drinking are made so much the great business and happiness of life, that children are thought neglected, if they have not their share of it. Sauces and ragoos, and food disguised by all the arts of cookery, must tempt their palates, when their bellies are full; and then, for fear the stomach should be overcharged, a pretence is found for the other glass of wine to help digestion, though it only serves to increase the surfeit.

那些下层人，因为财力所限，不能以饮食的诱惑或酒食的饱餐，来鼓励他们小孩的放纵；不过他们一旦有了足够的财富，他们自己便会给小孩树立坏榜样，他们并不是不喜欢豪饮或暴食，只是因为物资不足才不过分饮食。但是假如我们观察家境好一点的家庭，他们把饮食看作人生的大事和幸福，如果小孩没有得到应有的份额，他们就觉得小孩受忽视了。当小孩的肚腹已满，还要把汤汁、鱼肉、以及各种方法烹调的食物放到他们的盘中；然后，因为害怕肠胃过饱，借机又喝一杯酒以助消化，虽然那只是增加积食而已。

Is my young master a little out of order, the first question is, What will my dear eat? What shall I get for thee? Eating and drinking are instantly pressed; and every body's invention is set on work, to find out something luscious and delicate enough to prevail over that want of appetite, which nature has wisely ordered in the beginning of distempers, as a defence against their increase; that being freed from the ordinary labour of digesting any new load in the stomach, she may be at leisure to correct and master the peccant humours.

当少主人有一点不舒服，第一个问题就是，"乖乖要吃什么？要我拿什么给你呢？" 吃与喝立刻就压上了；而且每个人都想尽办法去找珍馐美味来提振食欲，［却不知］在疾病初起时，"自然"明智地降低食欲以阻止疾病的发展；这样肠胃不再有新食物加入，它便可以腾出消化食物的精力，去纠正与克服疾病。

And where children are so happy in the care of their parents, as by their prudence to be kept from the excess of their tables, to the sobriety of a plain and simple diet, yet there too they are scarce to be preserved from the contagion that poisons the mind; though, by a discreet management whilst they are under tuition, their healths perhaps may be pretty well secure, yet their desires must needs yield to the lessons which every where will be read to them upon this part of epicurism. The commendation that eating well has every where, cannot fail to be a successful incentive to natural appetites, and bring them quickly to the liking and expence of a fashionable table. This shall have from every one, even the reprovers of vice, the title of living well. And what shall sullen reason dare to say against the publick testimony? Or can it hope to be heard, if it should call that luxury, which is so much owned and universally practised by those of the best quality?

有些小孩在他们父母照料下很快乐，由于父母的谨慎，他们不撑口腹之欲，安于清淡简单的饮食，但是他们心智还是不免受到一种流俗的毒害；他们在受人管教的时候，虽因为慎重的教养，健康得以很好地保持，但是他们的欲望却受到四处弥漫的享乐主义所诱惑。到处都称许'要吃好'，这自然就剌激他们天生的胃口，使他们很快爱上时尚的筵席。每个人都有这样的倾向，就连远离恶习的人，也认为这只是生活美好。有什么不合时宜的理由使人敢反对这大众的见证呢？假如这应被称作奢侈，因为这么多的精英人士也承认与实行它，又有谁会听劝呢？

This is now so grown a vice, and has so great supports, that I know not whether it do not put in for the name of virtue; and whether it will not be thought folly, or want of knowledge of the world, to open one's mouth against it? And truly I should suspect, that what I have here said of it, might be censured as a little satire out of my way, did I not mention it with this view, that it might awaken the care and watchfulness of parents in the education of their children, when they see how they are beset on every side, not only with temptations, but instructors to vice, and that, perhaps, in those they thought places of security.

现在这已成为一种恶习，有如此众多的支持，以致于我都不知道它是不是取得美德的名称；这时有人开口反对，不知会不会被认为是胡说八道，或是不明世理？而且我真怀疑，我这里所说的，可能被人指责为出格的讥讽，如果不是我已声明，我的看法是为了引发父母对教育儿女的关心与警觉，使他们看到四面八方都有困厄，不仅有诱惑，还有公然教导行恶的，也许连他们认为安全的场所也是如此。

I shall not dwell any longer on this subject, much less run over all the particulars that would shew what pains are used to corrupt children, and instil principles of vice into them: but I desire parents soberly to consider, what irregularity or vice there is which children are not visibly taught, and whether it be not their duty and wisdom to provide them other instructions.

关于这个问题，我不打算多说了，更不必回顾那些费力败坏孩童、向他们灌输邪恶原则的详情了：我只希望父母清醒考虑，想想小孩在不知不觉之中受了什么不当或邪恶的教导，想想父母是不是有责任与智慧给他们提供别的教导。

CRAVING | It seems plain to me, that the principle of all virtue and excellency lies in a power of denying ourselves the satisfaction of our own desires, where reason does not authorize them. This power is to be got and improved by custom, made easy and familiar by an early practice. If therefore I might be heard, I would advise, that, contrary to the ordinary way, children should be used to submit their desires, and go without their longings, even from their very cradles. The first thing they should learn to know, should be, that they were not to have anything because it pleased them, but because it was thought fit for them. If things suitable to their wants were supplied to them, so that they were never suffered to have what they once cried for, they would learn to be content without it, would never, with bawling and peevishness, contend for mastery, nor be half so uneasy to themselves and others as they are, because from the first beginning they are not thus handled. If they were never suffered to obtain their desire by the impatience they expressed for it, they would no more cry for another thing, than they do for the moon.

欲求 |  我清楚地认为，一切美德和优秀品质的原则在于有能力克制我们自己、不去满足理智所不容许的欲望。这种能力可以由习惯来获得与提高，可以通过尽早练习来熟悉及运用自如。假如大家愿意听我的，我建议，与通常的做法相反，小孩应从摇篮开始，就习惯压制他们的欲望，放弃渴求。他们应该学习懂得的第一件事情是，他们之所以获得某件东西，不是因为它得他们的喜爱，而是因为它适合于他们。假如适合他们需要的东西都提供给他们，那么他们就不用哭泣恳求来得到什么东西，他们就能学会没有它也能满足，就绝不会大喊大叫和易怒地去争取做主，也不会如他们现在的一半那样令自己和别人都不安宁，因为他们从最初就不是这样被对待的。假如他们从不需要表现不耐烦来使他们的欲望得到满足，他们就不会哭求别的东西，就如他们不会哭着去要月亮一样。

I say not this, as if children were not to be indulged in anything, or that I expected they should in hanging-sleeves have the reason and conduct of counsellors. I consider them as children, who must be tenderly used, who must play, and have play-things. That which I mean, is, that whenever they craved what was not fit for them to have or do, they should not be permitted it because they were little, and desired it: nay, whatever they were importunate for, they should be sure, for that very reason, to be denied. I have seen children at a table, who, whatever was there, never asked for anything, but contentedly took what was given them; and at another place, I have seen others cry for everything they saw; must be served out of every dish, and that first too. What made this vast difference but this? that one was accustomed to have what they called or cried for, the other to go without it. The younger they are, the less I think are their unruly and disorderly appetites to be complied with; and the less reason they have of their own, the more are they to be under the absolute power and restraint of those in whose hands they are. From which I confess it will follow, that none but discreet people should be about them. If the world commonly does otherwise, I cannot help that. I am saying what I think should be; which if it were already in fashion, I should not need to trouble the world with a discourse on this subject. But yet I doubt not, but when it is considered, there will be others of opinion with me, that the sooner this way is begun with children, the easier it will be for them and their governors too; and that this ought to be observed as an inviolable maxim, that whatever once is denied them, they are certainly not to obtain by crying or importunity, unless one has a mind to teach them to be impatient and troublesome, by rewarding them for it when they are so.

我并不是说，小孩不能在任何事情上得到宽纵，我也不期望他们还着童装时就有外交家一样的理智与行为。我认为他们作为孩子，应该得到温柔的对待，他们应该玩耍，并有玩具。我的意思是，小孩热中的东西或想做的事，如果不适合他们，决不可因为他们年纪小，渴望它，就允许他们；不，无论他们纠缠要什么，正因为纠缠，他们更应被拒绝。我见过有些小孩，不管桌上有什么，从不要求任何东西，只满足地享用给他们的东西；在别的地方，我见过别的小孩哭着要他们见到的每一样东西；每一盘菜都要吃，而且要第一个吃。是什么造成这样大的差别呢？岂不是因为后者惯于得到所要的或者哭求的东西，而前者没有也可以忍受。他们愈年幼，我认为，愈不应当满足他们不受约束的和无理的欲望；他们自己愈少有理智，就愈应受到管教者绝对权力的管束。由此我承认，只有谨慎持重的人才能管教小孩。假如世上通常不如此办理，我也无可奈何。我说的只是我认为当做的；假如这已是流行的办法，我也不需要麻烦世人来讨论这个主题。但是我相信，当这问题被思考时，必然有与我意见一致的人，认为这种方法对于小孩开始得愈早，对小孩与导师也就愈容易；这应作为不可违反的准则，就是无论什么东西,一旦拒绝以后，不管小孩如何哭泣恳求，都不可再给他们，除非你有意让他们变得没有耐性和讨厌，才可以这样奖励他们。

Those therefore that intend ever to govern their children, should begin it whilst they are very little, and look that they perfectly comply with the will of their parents. Would you have your son obedient to you when past a child; be sure then to establish the authority of a father as soon as he is capable of submission, and can understand in whose power he is. If you would have him stand in awe of you, imprint it in his infancy; and as he approaches more to a man, admit him nearer to your familiarity; so shall you have him your obedient subject (as is fit) whilst he is a child, and your affectionate friend when he is a man. For methinks they mightily misplace the treatment due to their children, who are indulgent and familiar when they are little, but severe to them, and keep them at a distance, when they are grown up: for liberty and indulgence can do no good to children; their want of judgment makes them stand in need of restraint and discipline; and on the contrary, imperiousness and severity is but an ill way of treating men, who have reason of their own to guide them; unless you have a mind to make your children, when grown up, weary of you, and secretly to say within themselves, When will you die, father?

因此那些有心管教小孩的人，便应在小孩很小的时候及早开始，使子女绝对服从父母的意志。你如果希望你的儿子过了儿童时期以后仍旧服从你；你便要在他刚刚知道服从、明白自己受谁管教的时候，就立刻树起做父亲的威信。如果你希望他畏惧你，你便应在他的婴儿时期就使他畏惧；当他年岁愈加长大，愈使他接近你的友好；这样，他小时候是你的顺从臣仆 (这是合适的)，长大成人后又是你的亲密朋友。在我看来，家长对待小孩的方法错得很离谱，他们在孩子小的时候亲近而且放纵，在在孩子长大成人的时候却严厉而且疏远：因为自由与放纵对于小孩没有什么好处的，他们缺乏判断力，使得他们必须受人管束；相反，成人有自己的理智引导他们，专横与严厉对待他们是一种极坏的方法；除非你存心让你的子女长大后讨厌你，并在他们心中默念，"爸爸，你什么时候死啊?"

I imagine every one will judge it reasonable, that their children, when little, should look upon their parents as their lords, their absolute governors, and as such stand in awe of them; and that when they come to riper years, they should look on them as their best, as their only sure friends, and as such love and reverence them. The way I have mentioned, if I mistake not, is the only one to obtain this. We must look upon our children, when grown up, to be like ourselves, with the same passions, the same desires. We would be thought rational creatures, and have our freedom; we love not to be uneasy under constant rebukes and brow-beatings, nor can we bear severe humours and great distance in those we converse with. Whoever has such treatment when he is a man, will look out other company, other friends, other conversation, with whom he can be at ease. If therefore a strict hand be kept over children from the beginning, they will in that age be tractable, and quietly submit to it, as never having known any other: and if, as they grow up to the use of reason, the rigour of government be, as they deserve it, gently relaxed, the father's brow more smoothed to them, and the distance by degrees abated, his former restraints will increase their love, when they find it was only a kindness to them, and a care to make them capable to deserve the favour of their parents, and the esteem of everybody else.

我想每个人都会认为以下看法是合理的，那就是，孩子小的时候，应该视父母为主宰、他们的绝对管辖者，并这样去敬畏父母；而当孩子长大成熟的时候，应该视父母为他们最好的、唯一可靠的朋友，并这样去敬爱父母。我所说的方法，假如我没有错的话，是达到这个目标的惟一途径。当子女长大成人以后，我们应当把他们象我们自己一样去看待，他们有我们一样的激情、一样的欲望。我们希望自己被看作是理性动物，有我们的自由；我不愿意担心别人的长年斥责和脸色，我们也不愿意与人交接的时受到人家的奚落与冷淡。无论任何成人受此待遇，他都会另找伴侣，另找朋友，另找交谈的对象，他可以与之轻松交往。倘若小孩从最初起就严格管教，他们小时候便会听话顺从，安静地服从管教，因为除此以外他们不知道其它的方式；假如他们年纪长大到能够运用理智以后，管束的严格程度就照他们所应受的渐渐放松，父亲的脸色要更加和蔼，父子间的距离要渐渐地缩短，父亲以往的管教反而会增加他们的敬爱，因为他们会知道管教原是爱护他们，是照顾他们使其能值得接受父母的关爱与旁人尊重。

Thus much for the settling your authority over your children in general. Fear and awe ought to give you the first power over their minds, and love and friendship in riper years to hold it: for the time must come, when they will be past the rod and correction; and then, if the love of you make them not obedient and dutiful, if the love of virtue and reputation keep them not in laudable courses, I ask, what hold will you have upon them to turn them to it? Indeed, fear of having a scanty portion if they displease you, may make them slaves to your estate, but they will be nevertheless ill and wicked in private; and that restraint will not last always. Every man must some time or other be trusted to himself and his own conduct; and he that is a good, a virtuous, and able man, must be made so within. And therefore what he is to receive from education, what is to sway and influence his life, must be something put into him betimes; habits woven into the very principles of his nature, and not a counterfeit carriage, and dissembled outside, put on by fear, only to avoid the present anger of a father who perhaps may disinherit him.

关于在子女心目中树立你的威信，一般就说这么多了。畏惧与威严应使你取得支配他们心智的初始力量，到他们成熟后用爱与友谊去保持这力量：因为这一刻总会到来，棍子和惩戒都会失去效力；那时，假如你的爱不能使他们顺从与负责，假如对美德和名誉的热爱不能让他们走受人称许的道路，我问你，你有什么办法使他们走上正道呢？确实，害怕因惹你不高兴而少得遗产，会让他们成为你产业的奴隶，但是私下里他们还是会行为邪恶；而且这种约束也不能永久存在。每个人都将有一个全凭自己与自己行为的时候；一个善良的、有德行的、能干的人必须在内心里如此培养。因此他受什么样的教育、受什么样的影响，必须及时传授给他；那是习惯汇成他基本的天性，不是由恐惧掩饰而成外在的虚假姿态，只为了避免父亲因愤怒而剥夺他的继承权。

 

摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)