I used to live in a room full of mirrors; all I could see was me. I take my spirit and I crash my mirrors, now the whole world i

Life Begins At 50!

(2019-05-28 15:05:54) 下一个

 Life Begins At 50


Thanks to my husband who reminds me constantly, I am officially 50 years old.


I still remember the moment when my mom told my father: “you are almost 40!” and the moment when I told my father: “Life begins at 50!” I never truly understood their feelings, their past youth and their unfulfilled dreams. What I comforted my father indeed reflects the way I saw them at that time: they were old in my eyes.


Now, at my age of 50, what about MY life?


The first 30 years I could safely say I lived for other people: my parents first, my husband and my son later on. That is to say, I initially gave up my opportunities for an abroad education, then settled in a well paid but unchallenging job for my own family’s sake.


I was told to do this and that, and I really didn’t know what I wanted for myself. By the way, who does when you are young and from a traditional Chinese family?


However, I was such a restless person, and got bored quickly with my job and my predictable future of 30 years.


I think I made the best decision at that time in my entire life: emigrate to Canada.



The photo above was taken a year before my leaving for Canada, I looked lost, not very happy, but seems my mind was determined to make a change.


We gave up everything, including my husband’s promising business. We moved into a small one-bedroom apartment in Toronto, Canada, and I started to learn to cook and take care of my 4-year-old son. Of course, no nanny anymore.


The following 10 years was the most struggling period in my life, challenges domestically, challenges to fit in a new culture and speak a new language, Challenges to find myself, and challenges from everywhere.


Many times I was advised to send my son back to China, but I was stubborn. I wouldn't like to let another nanny look after him, "he is MY son, we go through together," I told myself.


I still remember that every Tuesday I had a late class, as soon as the class was over after 6pm, I would drive to the KFC on the way home, to buy a meal for my son, who got picked up after school by a Chinese grandma I paid hourly. I remember one cold Tuesday evening in the darkness, when walking with my son on the snow-covered sidewalk, I welled up for my own misery.


My father came to visit on his business trip, and cried out: you live like those migrant peasants!


To my great comfort, my son always thinks he had a fun childhood. In retrospect all those years were our happiest time together! Pain has no memory indeed.


For past 18 years, I’ve learned:

  • As long as you have a dream, dream does come true if you pursue it hard!
  • Be an individual, do Not let anyone tell you what you are and what you want;
  • Always take care of myself first; and devoted to my family;
  • Take my job seriously; work productively;
  • Be an expert at my work, and at my hobbies as well;
  • Always be kind to others, always encourage, encourage, encourage;
  • Grow together with my husband;
  • Be positive no matter what.

I do become a new person, happier and healthier.

50 years old 03/2019


Life does begin at 50! Take pride and enjoy! 

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阅读 ()评论 (4)
Backcountry 回复 悄悄话 回复 'polebear' 的评论 : Thank YOU!
Backcountry 回复 悄悄话 回复 '天凉好秋' 的评论 : Thank You!
polebear 回复 悄悄话 谢谢分享,写得很棒,一路走来,找到自己,收获满满
天凉好秋 回复 悄悄话 I like your photos at 50, confident and happy! Congratulations!