二六十 有生之年

    “爸怎么样了？”霭青问着乔治。
乔治摇摇头，叹了口气，也没说话，去冰箱里拿了两瓶啤酒，递给维克一瓶。
兄弟俩一模一样的动作，仰头咕嘟两口，长长出气，维克末了还打个响嗝。
霭青看了安妮一眼，“我有菊花茶，你要不要来一杯？”
安妮笑了一下，“我下班了，如果你们不介意，我喝瓶啤酒吧。”
霭青扭头看乔治，“可以，没问题。”
乔治话音未落，维克起身去拿回来三瓶，递给安妮一瓶。
“安妮，”霭青问着护士，“我们晚上吃披萨，你留下来一起吧。”
安妮也不客气，“我喜欢披萨，不过我吃的不多，”拍了拍屁股，“我在减肥。”
霭青微笑着点点头，这么壮实，减肥没有必要，少吃点披萨倒是真的。
披萨是从当地有名的店里点的外卖，半个多小时就送到家。
披萨是薄皮的，霭青点了五张，足够几个大人吃了。好几种馅，传统的pepperoni腊肠，全cheese芝士，夏威夷火腿菠萝，BBQ鸡肉番茄，地中海橄榄artichoke菜蓟，美式大杂烩牛肉丸青红椒番茄洋葱。
乔治把披萨切成小块，喂给罗丝，维克坐在妈妈的另一侧，为罗丝擦嘴。霭青看着这哥俩伺候罗丝，唉，还挺孝顺的。扭头看看自己的儿子，杰杰手里抓着一块啃，满脸的番茄酱，霭青掰散一个肉丸，塞进杰杰嘴里，“杰杰多吃肉，赶快长大。”
杰杰听的懂，嘴里唔唔的嚼，双手高兴地在小食桌上敲，攥着的披萨满天飞。
喜欢唠叨的安妮自然没闲着，没人搭茬也能说下去，霭青出于礼貌，偶尔接一两句。
吃完，大家挪步到客厅，罗丝回到沙发老地方，乔治和维克把吉他拿起来，给妈妈唱歌，安妮也坐下来听歌，听到熟悉的，也跟着唱，嗓子还不错。
霭青有好久没听乔治唱了，今天他情绪有些低落，“在医院给Tom唱过，现在给妈唱同样的吧。”
这是一首老歌，霭青没听过，Second Chance再次，by 38 Special。
Since you been gone
I feel my life slipping away
I look to the sky
And everything is turnin' gray
All I made was one mistake
How much more will I have to pay
Why can't you think it over
Why can't you forget about the past
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down babe
Can't you see I love you
Since you been gone， I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
So this is love
Standing in the pouring rain
I fooled on you
But she never meant a thing
And I know I ain't got no right
To ask you to sympathize
But why can't you think it over
Why can't you forget the past
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down babe
Can't you see I love you
Since you been gone， I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
I never loved her， I never needed her
She was willing and that's all there is to say
Don't forsake me， please don't leave me now
A heart needs a second chance
Yeah， you been gone and I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
Please forgive me and forget it
I was wrong and I admit it
But why can't we talk it over
Why can't we forget about
Forget about the past
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down babe
You been gone， I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance
霭青知道了罗丝的过去，再听这歌词，不知道为什么乔治要唱这首，是在替罗丝发声给汤姆吗？
是乔治一直纠结着妈妈的过去？汤姆那么爱着罗丝，无论发生过什么，汤姆肯定是原谅了罗丝的。
以前乔治在大学乐队唱的多是谈情说爱的歌儿，在台上专门为霭青唱时的专注和深情，霭青依然历历在目，后来在电台播音室，挤在在凯文家借宿时，乔治的歌是欢快诙谐的。今天他的声音有些沙哑，有些沉重。哎呀，转眼快十年了，她和乔治都过了热恋期，拖家带口的求安稳生活。家庭里的巨大事件，罗丝的老年痴呆，汤姆的脑梗，维克的无着无落，乔治都揽成自己的责任。
这种沉重的责任感都带到了歌声里，霭青看着歪头睡着的杰杰，还有肚子里的娜娜，都是乔治最关爱的。
霭青正在出神，乔治吉他一转，又是一首老歌的曲调流淌出来，The Living Years by The Machanics。
Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Oh， crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got
You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence
Say it loud (say it loud)， say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts
So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up， and don't give in
You may just be okay
So say it loud， say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
Because it's too late， it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Say it loud， say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So say it， say it， say it loud (say it loud)
Say it clear (come on say it clear)
听着乔治维克和安妮和声唱着“说，说，想说就说，否则后悔晚矣”，霭青心里一动，刚刚听安妮讲要回家照顾妈妈，自己心里就动了让妈妈爸爸出来转转的念头，又看见乔治维克两人尽心伺候父母，仿佛棒喝一样，霭青暗中对自己说，不管以前和妈妈有什么隔阂，过去的就过去了，她感恩父母的豁达，理解支持她的每个人生决定。霭青没有后悔漂洋过海在他乡异地奋斗，倏忽几年，她有了自己的家，为人之母，方才站在母亲的角度回首过去，她要和妈妈讲，大声的讲，现在就讲，我爱你们，谢谢你们的养育之恩，在你们有生之年，我愿意多陪陪你们。