Tim figured it out.

When dad was Tim's age, a color TV was one of the five must-haves for a wedding,

it would take another six years for even the beeper/pager to appear, and five

days a week he boarded at middle school. Dad had no luxuries and he roamed with

no parental guidance at hand. Looking back, however, he enjoyed the whole

package, including the bland food, the freezing nights, the 7:00am- 10:00pm

spartan routine, and the friends as well as the bad blood among cohorts.

 

On the other hand, it must be miserable to live under the same roof with

obsessive immigrant parents insecure in their own ways, especially when one is

the only son.

 

Tim didn't lack much and not in the least his parents' attention. When it comes

to his education, e.g., mom has insisted on math, the Chinese language, and

the piano. His objections ignored, dad has played along and over the years added

swimming, BJJ, and strength training. Caught in the crossfire, Tim juggles with

whatever thrown at him and relishes computer games every chance he's got.

 

Since day one, mom has put the kid through private math programs and loaded him 

with extra homework. Moreover, she had been keen on helping, one hour after

supper each day. Mom was a fighter and loved challenges and to be right. She

would come up with answers at lightning speed and triumphantly show to the

struggling kid who instantly felt a mixture of relief and defeat. Mom was so in

the game as the kid was not that a passerby might have trouble telling whose 

homework was being worked on. Watching like a hawk, mom corrected every little 

mistake the instant it was made. He, however, hated being constantly righted and

often their sessions escalated into shouting matches. The ungrateful kid was not

slow but something didn't click. In school, he enjoyed history, literature, 

science, and PE. Despite of mom's faith of a Job, patience of a saint, and

Herculean effort, his math refused to sail.

 

Starting 8th grade, however, problems have become harder and things changed

abruptly at home. Mom exited the scene and switched to video-watching mode after

supper and told the kid matter-of-factly: "Go ask your dad." Dad, however, 

didn't do anything unless bothered and Tim, who loathed to be told what to do,

didn't like to bother anyone. As a result, the teenager was often left alone.

 

Dad's help, when it did come, meant another kind of suffering. He never

corrected him or gave the answer outright, but painfully pointed out the clues

and secretly enjoyed watching the kid toil. "Never pray for an easy life, Tim."

The colorless, mid-aged, and mildly sadistic programmer would begin with a smug

smirk on his face and the kid would continue nonchalantly: "Pray for the

strength to endure ..." The boy hated it, in a different way.

 

One would expect things to fall through the crack, Tim end up helpless, and his

scores plummet. Dad certainly had delegated his son's math education to the 

teacher and Fate. So it was a small miracle that Tim survived and improved! "I

finally got the chance to use my own brain, after all you guys did to me!" he

savored this revelation during an evening walk. "You should thank me, dad," he

declared, "because I know you love money. If I had been let loose to work on

my own, I could have gone to a school that costs you a lot more."

 

[7grizzly]

回复 '暖冬cool夏' 的评论 : Thank you, 暖冬, so much for reading and liking. Thank you for your kind words for Tim. Indeed, entire generations like ours were left alone to work things out. It seemed after we succeeded in acing the tests, however, we forgot how we got there and imagined "helping" would make the kids do even better. I should be more humble before nature/God. Kids are much more resourceful than I have thought.

[暖冬cool夏]

I couldn't help laughing in the middle:)) I Love the post, and noticed lots of nice words, like 'juggle", "spartan", "Herculean effort".
We went through pains too. I remember that my husband said once that his dad should be grateful of having a son like him, as he was ENTIRELY on his own at study. While our daughter, whose math was corrected and helped by the Dad in her high school, was never up to his expectations:))
To me, Tim is a very balanced kid, excelling both at language arts and science, piano and PE. You cannot ask more:))