放弃

对我而言，世界上第二痛苦的事情就是放弃，说yes永远比说no容易。

 

我曾经提早一年开始上小学，可是学的不是很好，用爸爸妈妈的话说，小孩子差一年差很多的，于是期中考试后，爸爸妈妈就决定不让我再读下去了。（我虽然考的不好，却也还不是最后一名）那天晚上我一直在爸爸妈妈怀里哭了好久，小时候的事情有记忆的并不多，但是那一天晚上的痛哭至今记得很清楚，甚至于记得自己渐渐停下来不哭了，一回头看到书包，文具，又哭起开。现在想起来，究竟为了什么如此伤悲是不得而知了。（有趣的是第二天妈妈把我送到单位的幼儿园，中午去看我的时候，我高兴极了，跟妈妈说不用上课真好。）

 

我放弃过几个男孩子，一个是我的长久的男朋友，还有几个只是有一些相处，有一些感觉，每一次都是以我的泪水结束的，仿佛是我被别人抛弃了一般。我记得和我前男朋友分手一年多后，有一次他深夜打电话给我，我也不知道他说了什么，要说什么，只是一听到他的声音，就忍不住的哭起来，最后他反而劝慰了起我来。其实他真的是个君子，或者就是他不够了解我，因为如果他坚持，我想我是很难说no的。我现在的老公，就是因为他的坚持我们才走到今天了。

 

现在又是一个需要放弃的时候。我似乎觉得自己已经想的很清楚了，没有什么东西值得我将这么好的年华这样痛苦的度过。就算是这个项目再好，我也不愿意在这里熬3年了。可是我却还是做不了放弃的决定。当我好不容易发了辞职信，第二天Jose跟我谈的时候，他真诚的让我再想一周，以免以后后悔，我当时真想说no，我不要再想了，我已经想的够痛苦了，可是我说了yes。而现在我好像已经想通了，实在是不准备再做了，可是我一边还再写计划书。我该怎样鼓起勇气，做一个了断呢？

[凤凰台上]

Your impression about the hard working life style in Shanghai is close to the reality I know. I have been working overtime a lot for 2 years. That is one reason why I am now studying abroad. My husband still works day and night. Even the time I was back in Shanghai, we actually could share very little time together. He sometimes come back after 12pm. Very often, he come back with some work around 9pm or 10pm. We had a lot of quarrals about that. :(

[m38]

I really enjoy reading your post. If I remember right I read each every one of them. If you find time and place in china to post please let me know via email at [e-mail]. Or if you feel comfortable email directly.
My wife just back from the shanghai trip, she told me how people work hard often overtime on their jobs. And also I heard from wenciucity that some people at manager level often quit their jobs during the summer time for relax and looking for jobs after summer. All those stories just fascinate me. I hope you can find job you really like and settle down your life..

[凤凰台上]

Thank you for your encouragement. I might try another 3 months as I can make 3 trips back till in between. I would like to see how things work out under such kind of arrangement.

And also, I would like to thank you for following my meaningless words. It is a kind of far away comfort to me. I am not sure how long I can still post things here as there is no access to here back in China. I hope you all the best.

[m38]

i am sure you will do super job whatever you decide to do